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Episode #41

The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis

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41. The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis

On the pod, the guys revisit The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 4, Episode 2.

Rob McElhenney: Now, I noticed the gas prices on the way in today.

Charlie Day: Did ya?

Glenn Howerton: Yeah. You're too loud. You're too hot, buddy.

Megan Ganz: *Laughter*

Charlie: You’re too hot. Coming in real hot. Real hot.

Rob: Well now they've- now they've turned me down. Turn me back up.

Charlie: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.

Rob: I just came in hot.

Charlie: Yep.

Glenn: Yeah, your microphones–

Rob: I came in hot because I wanted to start the show.

Charlie: Gas prices are high everywhere.

Rob: Gas prices are high.

Charlie: ‘Cause them oil men have been wrastling them prices up, you know.


Charlie: You know, been hustling and wrastling.

Rob: I like when we find episodes-- it seems like every episode, uh, still is just as applicable today as it was in 2008.

Charlie: Well, that…Shit don't- shit don't change, as they say, you know-

Rob: Shit don't change.

Charlie: -because we won't change, uh--

Rob: Human beings will refuse to change and learn. It's so fascinating last night just to-to watch the news and maybe it's just because I'm an old man now but I see- I see the same stories that were told in 2008. People talking about a-

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: -recession and they can't-- And it's just the same thing. It's just the same thing that's happening. A-a bu- A bubble was blown and a bubble was burst and people can't believe it. They just can't believe it. And it's never going to go back. It's never going to go back. It can't-- This one's different.

Charlie: Explain to me why the prices of gas have to go up. I understand the shortage issues. I understand the war. I understand the-the pipeline access issues. But why do the prices actually have to go up?

Glenn: Give me money.

Charlie: It's right. It's simply that, right? Isn't it that the--

Rob: Let's get into--

Glenn: Just give me money.

Rob: That leads into our next guest.

Meg: Let’s get–

Rob: Paul Krugman is going to be coming on and talk about macroeconomics.


Glenn: Uh-huh.

Rob: You've asked the wrong guy.

Glenn Hey Rob, why don't you back off that mic? Why don't you back off that mic, buddy?

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: You’re uh–


Rob: I'm coming in hot. I'm coming in excited.

Charlie: It's gotta just be greed, right? It's like, "Man, we're gonna take a big financial hit here if we keep selling gas at the same price. So what we'll do is we won't take that hit. We'll raise the price."

Rob: "We'll lay off a bunch--" Greed.

Charlie: I'm thinking greed.

Meg: A bunch of oil madness.

Rob: In the oil business?

Meg: [laughs] I mean, what?

Charlie: I'm thinking a touch of greed.

Rob: Wait a second, humans-- Human beings?

Glenn: Now here's the thing though. Uh, you guys have-- You guys seen the documentary The-The Corporation, correct?

Meg: I have not. No.

Charlie: I don't- I don't know. I don't know.

Glenn: The Corporation? It was a documentary back in 2003. Rob, I think you and I watched it together.

Rob: Yes

Glenn: I think. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

Charlie: You think I remember shit from 2003?


Glenn: Well this-this, uh, this-this-this documentary did a really good job of kind of explaining, um, you know, the-the sort of inherent problem with the corporation in general is that it's got to continue to-- The profits have to grow--

Charlie: Feed.

Rob: It's a living organism. Yes, it must grow.

Charlie: It has to feed. It has to grow. Yeah.

Glenn: By law, it has to grow, so no matter what the, uh, you know, prices are or how horrible it is for the consumers, what-- they do what-whatever they have to do to, um, you know, keep making incrementally higher profits every year. That's their-- That's literally its purpose as a corporation. It's a monster that, um, we've created that uh, needs to be slain.

Rob: A-A what?

Charlie: Wait.

Glenn: Needs to be slain.

Charlie: Wait-wait, back off your socialist agenda here, you libtard.

Rob: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait a second you left-leftist thug. I won’t hear it.


Charlie: Corporations are gods.

Glenn: We gotta tear it down.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: If they-- If we tear it down we don't have a television show, bud.

Charlie: Guys we have it under control. We have, we-we're-we're like--

Glenn: I don't wanna have a television show anymore.


*Opening credits 3:03*

Rob: Glenn, uh, you're looking great today, I have to say.

Charlie: Yeah. Why the sunnies? Why the duster?

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: I'm just, you know, in one of those moods where you just wanna wrap yourself in a warm duster-

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: -and, uh, and throw on some sunglasses-

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: -'cause you're just not fully awake and you just gotta, you know, hide from the world a little bit, but while also looking awesome.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Meg: I wanna say a point out to fans, uh, that this is the actual duster that was actually on the show.

Charlie: Mm.

Meg: I got it from Sabrina Rosen, who's our, uh, Head of Costumes, Head of Wardrobe, and, uh, she-she pulled it out of storage for us. So that's the one.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Meg: Charlie, I did also ask if we could get your Oil Man costume from this episode.

Charlie: Oh, that woulda’ been good.

Meg: Um, but they-they couldn't pull it in time for me, but--

Charlie: Well.

Rob: Oh, God this--

Meg: I know. A polo tie and a--

Rob: So this episode is a-- There are so many memes from this episode.

Meg: Absolutely.

Rob: -both outside in-in-in the- in the world, in the com-comedy community and just the general public, and also within us and our little inside joke, uh, meme-

Charlie: Yes.

Rob: -system that we have. Did you notice a few of those, Glenn? Charlie?

Charlie: No.

Glenn: No. What are you talking about? What's the inside joke meme thing? I don’t know what that means.

Charlie: What is, uh-- but-but things we say amongst ourselves, like, in the office or whatever, like--

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: So like what was one of them?

Rob: One of them would be, uh, "That is what happened."

Charlie: “That is what happened?”

Glenn: Oh, that is what happened.

Rob: That is what happened. Charlie said--

Glenn: Oh-oh, I see what you're saying.

Rob: Yes, you guys are saying something about how my bossiness-

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: -w-was confused for, uh, braininess-

Charlie: That is what happened.

Rob: -and Charlie goes, "That is what happened."


Rob: And we've said that- we've said that amongst each other as an inside joke for 20 years.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: There's a lot of good things about this episode. I mean, actual car crashes.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Uh--

Rob: Zach Knighton.

Charlie: Zach-- Explosions?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: The-the slow and eventual total and complete destruction of his, uh, you know, Honda Accord-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -or whatever the hell car that was is-is so funny.

Charlie: Uh-huh. Laughter.


Rob: Yeah. The guy that plays--

Charlie: Oh, man.

Rob: The-the guy that plays Random Guy is one of our closest friends, Zach Knighton, um, who is currently on Magnum P.I. and-

Charlie: Mm.

Rob: -moves to Hawaii.

Meg: Oh.

Charlie: Oh, that's why, yeah, I haven't seen him.

Rob: And we never see-- We'll never see him again because I don't know that he's ever coming back.

Charlie: Mm. Mm-hmm.

Glenn: He's so-- He's su-such a Hawaii guy. I mean, wha-what could there have been a better gig for Zach Knighton than a gig that takes place in Hawaii? I don't think so.

Charlie: Right-right.

Rob: Yeah. So we-- so, the Random Guy. Have you no-- Did you notice how-how poor the visual effects were in this episode?

Charlie: No.

Rob: Oh, they're terrible.

Charlie: You mean the f-- You mean the fireballs?

Meg: The fireballs?

Glenn: I thought the fireballs looked great.

Rob: No, the fireballs- the fireballs are fantastic.

Glenn: The fireballs looked great.

Rob: The fireballs are fantastic. The greens--

Glenn: Okay, what are you--

Rob: I'm taking about the green screen, uh-

Charlie: Oh. Uh--

Rob: -some of the key ends in the van.

Charlie: You mean like the jump-- me jumping out the back of the van-

Glenn: Oh, just awful.

Charlie: the-the street or whatever?

Rob: Yeah, it's just awful, and--

Meg: Oh, nobody's looking at the background when that happens, everyone was just staring at your face saying, "Wild card, bitches." [laughs]

Charlie: Yeah, yee-haw.

Meg: Yee-haw.


Rob: Yeah, but then you jump out. Your-your eyes-- My eyes were drawn to it, and then--

Charlie: I don't know what you're talking-- I jumped out of a moving van, man. I don't know what you're talking about.

Meg: I know. I thought you're spoiling this for me now. I really thought you guys did a stunt there.

Rob: I think that's fair. Maybe my memory is-- yeah, my memory is just--

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: No, he jumped out of a moving van. He went full Tom Cruise.

Charlie: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Glenn: He broke his ankle and kept going.

Meg: Have any of you ever jumped out of a moving car?

Glenn: No.

Charlie: No. No.

Rob: Um, no.

Glenn: I mean, you know, uh-uh, I-I've jumped out of the car as it's coming to a stop, [chuckles] but that's not what you're asking.

Meg: Uh-uh. [chuckles]

Rob: I've jumped off of a moving train, but it was moving so slowly. [chuckles]

Meg: Oh, really?

Glenn: Oh yeah?

Rob: Yes.

Meg: Oh, like that's pretty cool, huh?

Rob: Like I don't even know that I rolled. I think we just hopped off.

Meg: You just hopped off.


Charlie: I've jumped out of a cab and booked it before.

Meg: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah, Like a--

Rob: Oh, sort of like a- like a dash situation is what--

Charlie: Yeah.

Meg: Oh.

Charlie: Yeah.

Meg: Oh. To-to-- as so as to not pay for something.

Glenn: Oh.

Charlie: Yes.

Meg: Okay. [laughs]

Charlie: Yes.

Glenn: Oh-oh, man.

Charlie: I can tell you the time it happened. It wasn't a-a common practice, but, uh, I was at our-our notable composer Cormac Bluestone's apartment in New York. And I'd taken the subway back to mine, and it was about 4:00 AM, you know. And, uh, I got to my apartment and realized I left my keys at Cormac's, and, you know, the trains run so slow at that time, and I-I probably was inebriated.

Uh, I had said, "All right, I'm gonna hop a cab back," but I knew I didn't have any money. So I hopped a cab back up towards Cormac's neighborhood, just being like, "All right, when is the moment where I go firing out of this cab and just book it?" And then I waited for like, a one-way road that I knew the cabbie couldn't go up, and then I took off. And the guy didn't even fucking--

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: He did it even batt an eye, where he was like, "Yeah-yeah, I fucking knew it, probably." You know.

Meg: [laughs] Oh no.

Charlie: "This little- this little scumbag." But now I don't do that. Now I don't have to do that.

Rob: No, you-you can afford to pay the cab

Charlie: I can pay the cab.

Rob: Yeah, that's good.

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Glenn: I know, but it's still fun to steal food from the mouths of, uh, a working man's family.

Charlie: [laughs] It is. It is.


Glenn: You know what I mean? It's just fun.

Rob: Yeah, that's coming out of his pocket. Yeah, that's coming out of his pocket.

Glenn: Oh, absolutely.

Charlie: Yeah-yeah-yeah. Well, now, I ti-- I'm a over tipper, you know, I always making up for that.

Rob: Did you guys notice that the woman who doesn't say anything, um, but she's actually quite funny, who you're- who you are playing-- you're-you're-- as the oil m-- as the Oil Man.

Charlie: Uh-huh.

Rob: Did you recognize that actor?

Meg: Oh.

Rob: She is on a very-- Now, I didn't look this up, so I'm just guessing-

Meg: Okay.

Rob: -but let's see if I- let's see if I'm right. Um, she's on a very big television show right now and she's-she's great in the show. And she stands out in the show.

Glenn: Mm.

Rob: Um.

Charlie: Mm.

Glenn: I don't know. I didn't notice.

Rob: If-if I'm wrong about this, we'll cut that. Cut that, or Meg will keep it in.

Charlie: Mm.

Meg: To me that looks–

Rob: But I-I'm almost sure. She has a very specific look.

Meg: Let's see.

Charlie: She had a familiar-looking face, for sure.

Rob: Let's pop it up on the screen for them, Creeps, to see if they can guess.

Charlie: But-but why didn't she have any lines? Was she an extra? Did we cut her lines?

Rob: Don't know. She may have been background because we couldn't afford to--

Glenn: We were- We were terrible about that back in the day. We were like, "Uh, we can probably get away with doing this without, um, the actor actually saying words," 'cause-

Rob: We just couldn't afford it. Just couldn't afford it.

Glenn: -the second they stay-- they say-- The-the second they say one line, yeah, it becomes, uh--

Charlie: You have to pay them more, um--

Glenn: Way more. Significantly more.

Meg: Melora Harte.

Rob: Okay. Now, please--

Meg: And it looks like she's been in a bunch of anime-

Rob: Uh-huh.

Meg: -as a voice.

Charlie: Okay.

Meg: And that's the actress.

Charlie: I don't know, Rob.

Rob: Is she on the show, Succession?

Meg: Oh.

Charlie: Oh, you're thinking that one? No, that's not the same woman.

Rob: Even if I'm wrong, which I could absolutely be.

Glenn: You are.

Charlie: You are. Yeah, you are.

Rob: Can we do a side-- Can we do a side-by-side for--

Charlie: I know the woman you're thinking of.

Rob: You know the woman I'm talking about, and you know the woman in the--

Charlie: Yeah, there's a fam-- There's a similarity to their looks.

Glenn: They don't-- They don't look alike, man.

Rob: They look exactly the same. It's the same person. She changed her name.

Glenn: They-they don't even look even a little alike to me.


Rob: Hold on, hold on.

Charlie: Now, I-I know-- I see what you see, Rob, for sure.

Rob: Oh, my God. Get the fuck out of here. You guys are nuts.


Rob: Look at this woman's face. Okay, now go back to the other one. No, this-this is ten years ago. Oh, my God, it's the same person.

Meg: [laughs] No, it's--

Rob: You guys are crazy.

Charlie: No. No. Similar.

Glenn: Okay. Yeah. All right.

Glenn: I see-- I see, uh-

Charlie: Similar. They look similar.

Glenn: I see-- I see-- I see the similarity.

Charlie: Same, not the same.

Glenn: Same as-- yeah, not the same but I do see some similarity.

Charlie: But similar. Similar.

Rob: Creeps, Creeps, Creeps. I’m gonna need you.

Meg: All right. Well, we'll put them side by side.

Charlie: They're similar. They looked-- they look very similar, but they're not-- not the same, you know. Like-like, uh--

Rob: No, they look, well, she changed her name. It is the same person, I–

Glenn: Okay.

Meg: This is a fun little diversion.


Rob: But what are the odds that Melora so and so just disappeared?

Meg: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And-and then on the scene comes this woman, Jeannie Berlin.

Charlie: Uh-oh.

Glenn: Are you confessing to a crime?

Charlie: By the way, a shout out to, uh, Sunny Lee and Pat Walsh who, uh, are-are credited on-on this episode, uh, for some writing and, uh, very, very funny guys.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Definitely of, uh-uh, an episode you hear, well, that gets memed quite a bit because there are people who try to do this all the time in real life.

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah.

Meg: Resell gas.

Rob: In real life.

Glenn: Oh yeah.

Rob: Yeah. They get busted reselling the gasoline.

Charlie: I like when there's just enough logic to the plot, you know, where we're like, "Okay, it's stupid, but I could see why they're thinking about doing it."

Glenn: Mhm.

Rob: That is what the industry does. The industry- the industry--

Charlie: The gasoline industry?

Rob: Sure. Creates the-the gasoline, has a supply, waits for the demand to go up, and then adjust the prices accordingly.

Charlie: Yeah. And then--

Glenn: It is funny how-how they-

Rob: It's not- it's not a crazy idea.

Glenn: -how they determine those things, you know, so that there's like literally a guy who's like, "All right, it's gonna be $0.3, uh, higher today," so, you know. And then the guy's gotta get up there and he's gotta change the sign.

Charlie: Mm.

Glenn: You know. He's got- he's got his little-- he's got his ladder and he's like-- and he doesn't care, you know, he's like, "What is this? I-- Why-- Really? $0.3?" You know, or whatever. It's, uh, it's bizarre.

Meg: Rob, you worked at a gas station, did you ever have to change the sign?

Rob: I did. No, we never did and this-- thi-this was a time that there was-- it was not digital signs. In fact, I don't still even-- 2023, I don't see a lot of-- Oh, 2022, I don't see a lot of digital signs.

Meg: Yeah.

Rob: I think it's a lot of going out there with a big stick. I never had to do that. But I do remember it never being more than $0.99. Now, this was 1994. But it was never more than $0.99 and I remember everybody in Philadelphia saying, "If this thing goes to a dollar-

Meg: Yeah.

Rob: -we're fucked."

Meg: Mine was $2. If it goes past $2 by the time I was driving–

Charlie: Mm, mhm.

Meg: that's what-- it could never go past $2.

Rob: Well, here we are. It's, uh, $7 a gallon now. None of us would know because--

Charlie: Mm-hmm. Because we're off the grid.

Rob: Tesla.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: We're off the grid.

Rob: We're socially responsible. What's wrong with you, Creeps, still buying gasoline? Come on.

Charlie: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There are lot of options too, you don't--

Glenn: Gotta do an electric car.

Rob: Don't you care about the environment?

Charlie: You don't have to get a Tesla, there's a lot of options, you know what I mean?

Meg: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Mm.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: We'll suck off that grid whatever way we can.

Charlie: Lots of- lots of brands.

Glenn: Yeah. Go get yourself some solar panels and a- and a Tesla Powerwall.

Charlie: Ride a bike.

Glenn: Everyone can afford this stuff, right?

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Get on a bike.

Glenn: Yeah, or ride a bike.

Rob: Why aren't you solar-ed yet, Creep?

Charlie: Yeah, get solar, Creeps.

Rob: God damn.

Meg: The solar companies are itching like a hound dog to give you something you want.

Charlie: They're itching like a hound.

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: We don't believe in the-the sun here, you know. We believe in the earth and its elements.

Glenn: I love- I love that you do that accent in the- in the- in the episode. Like that is an accent that I still hear actors do when they play southern people that it's-- just does not exist anymore. It is not an accent that is-- that actually exists in a real human being. No one talks like that. Like it's literally people watching Foghorn Leghorn-

Charlie: Foghorn Leghorn.

Glenn: -and being like, "That's how people talk in the South.

Charlie: Wait, uh--

Glenn: No one talks like this."

Charlie: Are you saying that people don't have accents in the South or don't have that accent?

Glenn: No-no, I’m saying they don't sound like that. Their-their accent doesn't sound like that.

Rob: Yeah, that's a cartoon character version.

Charlie: Yeah. That's, uh, exaggeration.

Glenn: That's a cartoon. That's a cartoon. Well, it's not even-- Yeah, it's an exaggeration. It's also just-- it's just not- it's just not an accent that people have anymore. I do think that like-- you know, it's just kind of like-- it-it it's kind of like that thing that Kevin Spacey was doing on-on House of Car-- Wha-what was the name of that show? House of Cards.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: House of Cards, like that is also an accent that a lot of actors do. They play that sort of genteel southern gentleman-

Charlie: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.

Glenn: -that talks like this. And it's like, dude, there hasn't been a-a-a gentleman in the South who talks like that since the fucking 1920s. Like, it's just-- it's not an accent that exists anymore.

Charlie: I mean, they're so pretty si-- yeah.

Glenn: You're not-- you-you wouldn’t necessarily–

Rob: I remember Mary Eli- Mary Elizabeth's grandfather-

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: -like that, kind of [crosstalk].

Charlie: Pawpaw Jamie pretty much talked like that.


Glenn: And how old was Pawpaw Jamie?

Charlie: He was a-- he was old.

Glenn: Yeah and--

Rob: So it’s established that people do-- did in the past possibly speak like that, but then that was spread via cartoon character.

Charlie: Uh-huh. Yeah.

Rob: And then from there-

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: -um, people who-who did not grow up in the South, uh, assumed that that would-- might be the accent and then it just sort of propagated is what you're suggesting.

Glenn: [chuckles] That is what I’m suggesting.

Rob: Yeah. Yosemite Sam.

Charlie: Oh. What a-

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie: -what a good and authentic accent.


Rob: But you can say the same thing about Bugs Bunny, uh, who-who was doing Groucho Marx and people did speak that-- like that at a time, but we don't-- Now-now you don't have actors playing northerners doing a Groucho Marx impersonation.

Charlie: Yeah-yeah. Well, it's person-by-person, right? I’m sure there's somebody in Texas who talks like this, right? But they're probably older and, yeah, I don't know, like, uh, same with a-a Boston accent. You hear people like really lay on the Boston accent thick. And most people like-- have like a little bit of it and they're dropping their R's a little bit and then you run into that one guy where it's just like thick as can be.

Glenn: Well. Mm-hmm. But just so- just so we're being clear, I’m not even talking about the extremeness of the accent. There are people in the South that have very strong-strong accents, they just don't sound like that.

Rob: Mhm.

Charlie: Mm.

Glenn: Um, you know, they-they just sound different from that. Uh, but, you know, it's the kind of thing that you like-- you know, I grew up in the south so I-I-I maybe have a-a more of a refined ear for it-

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: -you know, just like you would having grown up in–

Rob: A little bit more nuanced to you.

Charlie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Yeah, I hear the nuance.

Charlie: You're just going out of your way to say my bad accent was bad, is-is-- That's what I’m picking up on.

Rob: No. I think your–

Glenn: No, I’m not.

Charlie: I feel like you’re–I feel like you're jumping through hoops to-

Glenn: To come down on you?

Charlie: -to come down on the accent. And like, listen man-

Glenn: No, I-I-I

Charlie: -I know it was a cartoon accent.

Glenn: No. I know you do. I know. I know. That's why it's funny. That's-- I like that you do that. And-and-- But that's why I also, you know, I threw in the, uh-- I see that. I see your gestures.


Glenn: I mean you know–

Charlie: 'Cause your sunglasses and your duster and your judgments on accents.


Charlie: I say-- I say I'm -I'm offended.



Rob: How are you guys doing these days money-wise?

Glenn: I’m good. Are you asking us for money, Rob?

Rob: Well, recently I thought-- I don't know how long this bear market's going to go on for, so I should start a little side hustle to stay afloat.

Charlie: Mm. That S&P is hitting you hard, huh?

Rob: Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So I turned to our friends at Shopify and I gotta say, I’ve never known success like this.

Charlie: Your Wikipedia does describe you as a businessman in the opening line, so I th- I thought that you would know-- okay.

Rob: Well, they probably got wind of my Shopify and that's why they- that's why they wrote that in there.

Glenn: Now you're doing crazy business on there, Rob? Crazy profit margins? What are we talking about?

Rob: All green candles, buddy, to the moon.

Glenn: That sounds like true unbridled success to me, you know. You have won at capitalism.

Rob: I log on and I immediately hear the Succession theme song in my head.

Charlie: Can't say I doubt it. See, Shopify gives entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big businesses so anyone can sell everywhere, synchronize online and in-person sales and effortlessly stay informed. I mean, come on.

Rob: And I love that Shopify helps me reach customers across the world and social media whether on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, or more.

Glenn: Go to That's all lowercase. for free 14-day trial and get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features.

Charlie: Grow your business with Shopify today. Go to right now.



Charlie: Oh my God, the bank scene.

Meg: Mm.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Which-which is so clearly Guigino's, it's like

Meg: I wanna talk about that.

Rob: Yeah, yeah. That's Guigino's, yeah.

Charlie: How many scenes had we shot in Guigino's at that point? Two, three?

Meg: Uh, yeah. I think a couple at least.

Charlie: Maybe just a couple.

Meg: Um-

Rob: Enough to identify that.

Meg: -but that's one of the best scenes from top to bottom, I think, that's in the show.

Charlie: This is a strange bank.

Rob: This is a strange–


Glenn: Now, this is a strange-- Your boss is a woman.

Meg: Your boss is a woman.

Glenn: Now this is a strange bank. Yeah.


Rob: Yeah. It's the idea that we went in there knowing it was going to be a man. We knew what we-- that's why we create–

Meg: We have drawings.

Rob: But then-- Okay, fine. Right. It's a new world. We're progressive. We get it. But your boss, we need to talk to him.

Glenn: Um, yeah, talk to that guy.

Charlie: The-- one of my favorite things-

Meg: He'll explain more better.

Glenn: [chuckles] More better.

Charlie: -we ever did was like the three of us sitting across-- or four or five of us sitting across from a desk from someone who is a sane person who is dealing with basically insane people, and this is a particularly good version of it.

Rob: Yeah. And that actor's so wonderful because whenever we find-- when-when-when we find-

Charlie: She nailed it.

Rob: -that straight person, sometimes they're not funny and she was really funny.

Charlie: She was funny, yeah.

Rob: So her reactions were great.

Meg: Lots of things came out of this. Um, it's a little tiny thing, but, um, “I think he'll understand more better.”

Rob: Yeah.

Meg: Um.

Charlie: Is that the first time you said it?

Glenn: Mhm.

Rob: I think so.

Meg: I think that's-that's so funny.

Charlie: Yeah. I think you're right.

Rob: He's gonna understand more better.

Glenn: Yeah. Wait, do you remember-

Meg: Insult her intelligence while speaking-

Rob: Yeah.

Meg: -[chuckles] in the foreground.

Glenn: Yes. Right, right.

Rob: But we got it under control. We got it all under control.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Well, it's just, you know, our way of continuing to signal to the audience that these are not good people, these are not educated people.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Um, you know, and yet they act superior. Uh-uh-uh, that-- the more better thing though has become one of my favorite runners of-of your characters on the show.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Meg: I d-did wanna talk, uh, about one thing, you guys, which is this.

Charlie: Just the concept of three guys popping their shirts off in a bank to try to-

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: -uh, get a loan. [laughs]

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: It's a really good idea.

Meg: The-- such a funny build in this scene of you, 'cause you've set up the whole thing about the wild card and now you're getting on each other's case about like, stepping on each other's toes while you're at the bank. And then it-- culminating it with, "Which one of us do you want to take you in the back and bang you?"

Rob: Yeah

Meg: With your shirts off like this?

Rob: Out of the three of us- out the three of us, who's- who's it gonna be?

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: And then you guys flexing for-- So I wanna talk about this-

Rob: Mm.

Meg: -because this is how many years ago now? So this episode would've come out in, what? 2008?

Rob: Eight.

Glenn: Eight. Yep.

Charlie: Yeah.

Meg: How do you feel about this being out there in the world? Would you take these bodies back? Is this, uh-- have you improved upon since then? Um.

Charlie: I would like to go ahead and point out that if we were doing this to you, it would be wildly unacceptable.

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: So lemme just go ahead and-and point out the hypocrisy. That being said, um--

Meg: You did this. I didn't ask you to do this.


Charlie: No. But, I mean, if we pulled up a picture of you from 15 years ago and we said, "How do you feel about this body here?" You know, like, uh, you know, this would be frowned upon, but, um-

Meg: I'd love it.

Charlie: -I-I feel great. I would- I would kill- I would kill for that physique.

Glenn: [laughs] I do like your-- I-- your--

Rob: Uh, I think I'm--

Charlie: Actually, I wouldn't kill for it. I wouldn't even-- I would barely even go to the gym for it.


Rob: Barely adjust your diet one bit.

Charlie: Yeah. I gotta live my life, man.

Glenn: This-- I do remember this being the-the sort of year that I started noticing myself, you know, gaining a little weight around the middle, which is something that I just genetically hadn't been able to do prior to this season. Then all of a sudden, I was like, "Oh, no, my body's changing."

Meg: [laughs] You guys look great.

Rob: I think I lo-- I think- I think I am in better shape now than I was then. But it-it-it differs from month to month. However, I think I'm-I'm healthier than I was then 'cause that was still an era of coffee and cigarettes all day long.

Meg: Mm

Rob: Uh, however, th-- my skin is what, 12 years, 13 years old. What is it? Oh, Christ, 14 years older. And skin-

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: -there's just nothing you can do about it. The sun. The fact that we've established, we-- Glenn, you hate the sun, right?

Glenn: Yeah, I do. It pisses me off, yeah.

Rob: You hate the sun. The sun pisses you off. It destroys your skin.

Charlie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Rob: I'll say your skin now looks-- It actually looks pretty good. It's a little- it's a li-- You've had enough work done to where [crosstalk].

Glenn: Lasers.

Charlie: You got that rubbery glow.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Uh.

Glenn: Lasers.

Rob: So one thing I'm doing at the end of this scene-

Charlie: Is moving your pecks around.

Rob: -is I'm try- I'm trying to move my-- which I-I think I can still-- Yeah, I can still do that. Yeah, uh, but I-I give her a look. Now earlier in the- in the episode, there's a really funny scene that was making me laugh of-- that's so simple and stupid, of Charlie just giving looks, just giving expressions.

Charlie: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to find what the wild card face is.

Rob: Trying to find what the wild card face is.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: And it was just really funny. And on the day, it was just Charlie just making faces.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And so at the end of this scene, I try to make a f-- my sexiest face to her right about here.


Rob: Now-

Charlie: That's good, bud.

Rob: -just trying to- just tryna also, like out--

Meg: Glenn's doing this. Like what is–


Glenn: And Charlie's like-- Charlie's-- look, if you pause it right at this timecode, Charlie is laughing.

Charlie: Am I laughing?

Rob: Yeah, Charlie's laughing. But look, the body looks great. But you're laughing.

Charlie: Am I laughing? I don't think that I am laughing there.

Rob: Yeah. Go to-- If you go to one frame right before.

Charlie: Right before we cut out, I probably--

Rob: Oh, you are most definitely laughing.

Meg: [laughs]

Rob: Right there. You see it. You see it transition. You see it transition into a laugh.

Charlie: That's a little grin. It's a grin, for sure.

Meg: You guys are enjoying it.

Glenn: It's funny. It's funny. The, uh, the-- I-I like the, uh, that sort of in-insecure, slightly insecure flexing.

Rob: Yeah.

Meg: Yes.

Glenn: That we're all doing.

Rob: Is this cool?

Glenn: Is this cool? Yeah.

Charlie: Everyone's tryna do the posture that they think makes their body look best.


Glenn: Right-right-righ-right-right.

Meg: Oh that’s great.

Charlie: To get a loan to get gasoline.

Rob: Wait, do you guys remember this conversation? There was s-- somebody put body makeup on. I can't remember who it was. Was it me or Glenn?

Charlie: It was definitely gonna be one of you guys.

Glenn: It was you- it was you.

Rob: Who-who-who was tanned?

Charlie: Yeah. It was you.

Glenn: It was you, Rob.

Charlie: I mean, I always--

Glenn: I remember that

Meg: You looked tanner than–

Charlie: I have my always farmer's tan.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: So Glenn's got his farmer's tan.

Rob: And so does Charlie. Did I have like--


Glenn: You put on-- But you put on body makeup.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, you did.

Rob: I think I did.

Charlie: You tanned up that body.

Rob: And I remember talking about it there and saying, "Wait, I thought--" 'Cause it was one of those situations where the makeup department was like, "Oh, I think Glenn wears body makeup when he takes his shirt off from time to time," and-

Glenn: I never had.

Rob: -which is not- which is not weird. You never had?

Glenn: Not-not up to that point. Uh, I will- I will-- I do now. Uh, but back then--

Rob: Yeah. That-that's actually a common practice and not that weird and it's mostly to match your skin tone of your face. 'Cause when you wear makeup, you wear makeup, and so when you take your shirt off, you put-- So then I remember going, "Uh, oh, I guess we're wearing body makeup." Okay. So then they paint you up with this like, whatever that makeup is. And it's not that dramatic.

Meg: Just spray tan, right?

Rob: It's just a-- It's kind of like a spray tan. It just looks different than-- Now Glenn looks very farmer tan. And I remember standing there, and I remember one of you guys being like, "What the fuck, man?" And I'm like, "Well, I don't know. I thought we were wearing body makeup." I guess it doesn't look that- doesn't look that different.

Glenn: No.

Charlie: No. You can't tell.

Glenn: No.

Meg: Thank you for letting me objectify you guys.

Rob: Oh, I'm down. I'm down.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. I just had to call that out. Um--

Rob: It's a little different

Meg: Leveling things out.

Charlie: Yeah. It's a little different. Um--

Rob: Power dynamics there. I mean, Meg is in sh-- Meg is in power.

Charlie: In charge, and I f-

Rob: I think that that's what you're suggesting.

Charlie: -I feel objectified.

Rob: Yes. Because Meg is in a position of power over us.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Meg: Uh-huh.

Rob: She's the producer.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Okay. Now we have a suit.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: Now we have a suit.

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: Unfortunately, she has no money, so we have to sell more ads-

Meg: I have–

Charlie: No. What we have is-- it's not about that.

Meg: sell ads to pay yourself back.

Charlie: -so that we can- so that we can sue her and get the money back.

Meg: That's-that's good.

Glenn: No, it's not about that. It's about having that in your back pocket in case something else goes down.

Rob: Exactly.

Glenn: You know, I mean, it's leverage. It's leverage.

Charlie: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: It's when Meg comes at us with a suit and we say-

Glenn: Exactly.

Rob: -"Actually, we have a countersuit."

Glenn: Exactly.

Meg: Unless I cut that out of this episode and then you guys don't have any proof.

Rob: Uh, outsmarted again.

Meg: [laughs]

Rob and Charlie: Outsmarted again.

Meg: Speaking of being the brains and having good ideas like that, the brains, the looks, the wild card, the muscle, and the useless chick.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Meg: Such a great structure for this episode.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Meg: And you switching roles and like trying to-- How did you guys-- Do you remember how you came up with that?

Rob: Yeah. That was just us being in the room and talking about those-- I think it started with the A-Team-

Charlie: Yeah.

Meg: Mhm.

Rob: -where we looked at the A-Team and that was like such a perfect show where they decided, "Right, we just need a-a-a-a-a stereotype," not a stereotype. What's the word I'm looking for?

Meg: Archetype.

Rob: Yes. An archetype for each individual character so that everybody's distinct and different, but they all fulfill a role. And so when-- it just laid itself out really beautifully for us, but then you-you realize it extends into so many different stories.

Meg: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Ghost-Ghostbusters, for example. Speaking of which, this is the episode where we spent the most amount of money ever.

Charlie: That's right.

Rob: On a song.

Charlie: To get the Ghostbusters song.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Meg: Wow.

Glenn: As I recall, we spent so-- And we were- we were so blown away. We were like, "Oh, let's-- we'll-we'll put in the Ghostbusters theme song." And they came back with a price and I remember what it was.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: And we were like, "We've never even paid anything close to this amount of money to just put like--"

Charlie: Can-can I guess what it- what it was?

Glenn: Please.

Charlie: Was it $200,000 to play it?

Glenn: No.

Rob: No.

Glenn: No. It wasn't that much.

Rob: It wasn't that much.

Glenn: No. But, Rob, do you remember how much?

Rob: But it-it-it was by far the most amount of money we've ever paid.

Charlie: Was it 80?

Glenn: Yes.

Rob: I think it was 70, 70,000.

Charlie: Okay.

Glenn: It was 80.

Charlie: Okay.

Glenn: It was eight--

Rob: 80?

Glenn: I remember 80. It might have been 70. I also don’t–

Rob: Either way, it's-it's in that zone. And we would never-- we hadn't paid more than $20,000 for a song-

Glenn: Right.

Rob: -including with Michael Jackson songs and--

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah.

Rob: Oh, and the da-- and The Gang Dances Their Asses Off. I mean, we had--

Glenn: Yeah, The Doors?

Rob: Yeah, we had also--

Glenn: We got The Doors. The doors didn't even cost that much.

Rob: And the reason was that they were considering making another Ghostbusters at the time.

Charlie: Mm.

Rob: And they were trying to protect for the possibility, which they didn't. And Glenn was vehemently opposed to paying this. And Charlie and I were not--

Glenn: I was? Oh.

Rob: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes.

Glenn: Oh yeah. I think I was because I-I was like, it's doesn't-- I never-- I- I didn't feel like it added that much. Like, I-I like it. I like it. I like what it added. And um, you know, looking back now, I'm certainly glad we did it because, like, you know, what is it?

Rob: Yeah. Who cares?

Glenn: What difference does it make amortized over 15 seasons? But like, at the time, yeah, I think it was just-- I just was like, "Yeah, it's funny, but it's not $80,000 funny."

Rob: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were always weighing it against some of the other choices you made. I will say-

Glenn: Right.

Rob: -that I was watching this episode with Kaitlin last night, and the kids are in other rooms 'cause they could give two flying fucks about our television show, and then that song came up, and I heard Leo from the other room go, "Who are you gonna call? Ghostbusters." And then he comes running into the room because he wanted to hear the song and he wanted to see what we were doing with the song. So it turns out it's transcended generations because of that choice.

Charlie: It's a hell of a song.

Rob: It's a hell of a song.

Charlie: It's a hell of a song.

Glenn: Yeah, well, it's Ghostbusters: Afterlife.

Rob: Hell of a song.

Glenn: Does he- does he know it because of Ghostbusters: Afterlife?

Charlie: No, we watched the original Ghostbusters.

Glenn: Oh, I see.

Charlie: But I think it's also, again, just one of those memeable-- It's just-- it's all over the internet.

Meg: It is.

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Meg: So it is worth it for the fact that you start out the episode talking about, um, how to run the bar more efficiently and you end with an explosion and the Ghostbusters theme, which just is such a journey for the episode to take.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Mm.

Meg: Like, it's just really enjoyable.

Charlie: Do you remember we took this episode and we screened it at Walter Reed, uh, Medical Hospital in Washington DC-

Rob: Yeah.

Meg: Right.

Charlie: -uh, yeah, for our men and women there-

Rob: Mm-hmm

Glenn: That's where- that's where Danny played that great prank on us.

Charlie: -and--

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Wait, have we talked about this on the podcast?

Meg: No. What prank?

Charlie: So we get to the hotel, I think FX, you know, pays for the flight and the hotel-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: -and-and uh- and uh, we get to the hotel and they say, "Oh, we're so sorry."

Glenn: They said- they said, "Can we bring you-- we're gonna bring you guys up to your room." And we were like, "What do you mean room?"

Charlie: Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's right. They're- they're saying, yeah, "Oh, I'm so sorry. We were under the impression that you're-- FX is only paying for one room."

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: And it did surprise us, right? Because it was so early in the show and we were such a low-budget thing, and we're like, "Oh man, they're sticking us all in one room together."

Glenn: Well, not only that, but the-the-the guy actually said that there weren't-- We were like-- We were like, "Well, that's just not gonna happen." Um, and he was like, "Ah, we don't have any. Like, this is the only room we have left." And he was like, "Let's go-- Can I just give you guys a tour of it?"

Charlie: Yeah he's like, "Let-let me just show it to you and maybe you'll find it acceptable."


Charlie: And uh, I remember [chuckles] you-you-you were very unhappy.

Rob: I do not handle those situations well.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: No.

Rob: I said, "We-we just got off a flight across the country."

Charlie: Yeah. We were grumpy.

Meg: Being disrespected? Uh–

Charlie: Yeah. Being told, "No, this is what you're going to do. You're all going to sleep in this room."

Charlie: And I remember we were thinking like, "Oh, screw it, we'll go find some other hotel or something."

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: So we go up to the room and it's, you know, a single room, and then out of the closet comes Danny.

Glenn: Well, he-- well, first-first of all, he shows us the-- he shows us the suite and it is pretty nice for one person, or two people, you know, a couple or something. And-and-- But he's like, "But, you know, of course, this-this-- We-we have a cot set up in the corner." They had a cot there. So one of us was meant to sleep in a cot. [chuckles] So he basically was trying to sell us on this-this whole thing. And then uh, yeah, and then out of the closet, Danny pops out with uh-- I think he had a bottle of booze or something. I don't know.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah.

Rob: Now this poor hotel staff is like, "We don't wanna be a part of this. We don't know--"

Charlie: But they nailed it. This guy really sold it.

Rob: I know. I know.

Glenn: He s-- Yeah, he did.

Rob: I think for me, it-it-it was-- It was at that time. 'Cause now we're four seasons in and it still felt that everywhere we went, nobody knew the show. Nobody gave-gave a shit about the show and we were just kind of-- I don't know. We would go on these promotional tours and we were just treated as like Danny's like staff and bodyguard or whatever it would be. And the suggestion that all four of us would stay in the same room was not that crazy.

Meg: *Laughter*

If-if we were go to a hotel now, you would know it was a goof in the very beginning. But at this time it was not that unfounded.

Meg: Yeah.

Rob: We-we were still sharing a trailer in season two.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: We had a-- We shared a-a honeywagon. So the thought that FX would put us up-- or the hotel staff would just say, "Yeah, sure. These-these animals will just sleep in one bed." was not that crazy. So I don't- I don't think I handled it well.

Glenn: It was a level of disrespect that we had become accustomed to.


Rob: Yes. Yeah. So if anybody's doing the uh, rewatch with us and they watched the waterboarding scene with Kaitlin, just know that she was being waterboarded.

Meg: I'm sure. I would–

Glenn: Yeah. I was looking at that. I'm like, "She's being waterboarded right now. What the hell?"

Rob: She's-- And she-- And she's watching it and saying, "No, no, I-- That was actually hell. I was being tortured." And you see, when-when he-- when he flushes the urinal, it's just hitting the top of her head. But when he's pouring it on her--

Meg: On her face with the- with the fabric over it.

Rob: With the fabric over it. Now, why not just say, "Get a fabric that isn't porous-"

Meg: Yeah.

Rob: "-that has maybe a towel look on one side and then-"

Meg: 'Cause you spent all the money on the Ghostbusters song.

Rob: We spent all the money on the Ghostbusters song.

Charlie: Wait, because when the wet towel is over your mouth even--

Rob: That is waterboarding.

Charlie: It's like suffocating?

Rob: That is how they waterboard you.

Glenn: That is water-waterboarding.

Meg: Oh, it's water going up her nose and in her mouth while she's trying to breathe.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: It gives you the sensation of drowning basically, uh, but you actually-- You aren't actually drowning because there's enough air getting in. But you're-- But, you know, you're-you're breathing in water.

Charlie: The wet towel.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: That's right.

Rob: And the-- and the water as it comes in, but the towel is-- the towel is-is creating enough. I-it's-it's truly torture. You're not drowning somebody, you're torturing them.

Glenn: Well, and the wet towel suctions to your- suctions to your face, right? So you-- So there's-- You're not getting any air that's not coming through that sopping wet towel.

Rob: Yes. And she reminded me that her hands are behind her back, which was part of being bound, but also supporting her back, which at this point was broken.

Meg: [laughs] Oh my God.

Charlie: Oh geez.

Rob: At this point in shooting-

Charlie: Oh, man.

Rob: -her back was broken and she was healing. But she healed very quickly because it was broken over the 4th of July weekend. Um, and, um, and we shut down production for, I don't know, a few weeks and then came right back, and there she was getting waterboarded.

Charlie: Geez.

Glenn: Uh, it's crazy.

Meg: It's, um, it's torture, but it's not torture on the level of say being asked to all sleep in the same hotel room, which is just insufferable and can’t be done.

Charlie: Yeah, I don't know which is worse. Um--


Charlie: Um, Uh, I think this is one of the first episodes Tim Roche got, because, um, he's doing the voice of the- of the golf, uh-

Glenn: Oh right.

Charlie: -commentator.

Meg: Oh, I was gonna ask you guys.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah, that was Roche. Yeah, that was Roche.

Charlie: Unless Josh cut it and uh, and Tim just-- No.

Glenn: No Roche cut that.

Charlie: He did, right? Yeah.

Glenn: I-I-I-I do remember that. Yeah, Roche cut that episode for sure. And it was- it was-- it may have actually been the first episode that he- that he, um, edited for us, but, uh, that was definitely him. Yeah.

Meg: It says his first episode. Yep. The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis.

Charlie: Off to a good start.

Glenn: Uh, yeah, that-- I-I-- but I was watching that scene, Rob, and I was looking at it and I'm like, "I don't-- I mean, this is indistinguishable from actual waterboarding. She's being waterboarded right now." But I don't remember, uh-

Charlie: I remember her being upset about it, being like, "This is not fun."

Glenn: Yeah, this is beyond-- [chuckles]

Rob: We also created apparently a-a-a, uh, a tremendous amount of controversy a few years later, but it never got to us.

Glenn: Hmm.

Rob: And then, um, I heard a few years after that, that it was a fire that was put out at the- at the highest of levels at the News Corp organization.

Glenn: What was that?

Rob: Apparently when we used that photograph of Bruce Mathis accepting an award-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: -in the- in the newspaper, uh, he's accepting some humanitarian award, and then Frank says, he's get-- he's-”he's in cahoots with terrorists.”

Charlie: Oh.

Glenn: Yes.

Rob: Apparently the man that is in that newspaper is a revered public figure in the Middle East.

Glenn: [chuckles] I was gonna say--

Rob: And I think we should look up who he is. He is not a terrorist. And I think there was some hullabaloo.

Glenn: But what does that have to do with anything? That's just Frank stereotyping. I mean that's-that's-

Rob: No, but it's like-- it's-it's the

Glenn: -literally-- Well, I think that's literally the joke.

Rob: Of course.

Charlie: Right-right-right-right-right-right.

Rob: But I don't know that the people of Saudi Arabia-

Charlie: We don't want to get sued or they didn’t wanna–

Rob: -and the Middle East are necessarily in-- are-are in on the joke. And it didn't-- it didn't happen in real-time. It wasn't on air.

Glenn: They're known for-- I mean they're pretty well known for, uh, having good sense of humor over there and, uh, commonly. You know what I mean?

Charlie: They love, um, political satire, I believe.

Rob: Sure. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

Glenn: Yeah, they really do. Yeah.


Meg: Hello listeners and Creeps. This is Meg jumping in with a little follow-up. So I did a little digging and found out that the newspaper photo used in this scene was digitally altered after the episode aired. Apparently, the man in the original photo was a friend of Rupert Murdoch's. So word came down from the top that it had to be scrubbed from the episode. That is what happened. Now, back to the show. I wanna talk about another thing that came out of this episode that I hear repeated a lot, which is, "Uh, I know how to count, dude," that line when–

Charlie: Oh yeah. Counting the liquid.

Meg: you're talking about counting the gasoline.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, counting the liquid.

Glenn: How were you going to count a liquid? "Uh, I know how to count, dude."  I don’t think I can do it straight.

Rob: You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it.

Charlie: Yeah, you do it 'cause I can't.

Rob: You do it. 'Cause I can't.

Meg: [laughs] 'Cause I can't.

Glenn: Oh, right. 'Cause I can't.

Rob: I just-- I can't.


Charlie: I love the scenes that-- with the gas station guy.

Rob: Oh, he's great. He's great.

Meg: Yeah. “We're gonna hit you where it hurts.”

Glenn: He was really funny.

Charlie: “Your dick.”

Glenn: “Your dick. No, not his dick.”

Rob: “Not his dick, man. What-- Why aren't you getting this?”

Charlie: “His wallet.”


Meg: And then you flipping up with that lighter, like at a moment's notice. Like that's always the way the wild card goes, uh.

Charlie: That's kind of a dynamic we haven't done. And it could have been really funny. Like the three of us trying to poorly threaten someone. I feel like we haven't done a lot of threatening. But threatening could be very funny [chuckles] when it-- when it's done wrong.

Glenn: But do you remember-- uh, do you guys remember, uh, we-- And I can't remember why. Maybe it was-- I think it was maybe because we were at an actual gas station. We could not actually light that Zippo lighter.

Rob: That's right.

Glenn: So we had to do uh, what was at the time for us, a very intensive, special effect which was just to put a flame coming out of that Zippo. Now, Rob, I'm sure you remember this 'cause I remember you and I just absolutely losing our minds at how inept it seemed that they were. We would come in there and look at what they comped in and there'd be like this giant flame coming out of it. And we're like, "Well, no," We're like, "Can you make it look like a, uh, oh, I don't know, a Zippo lighter? 'Cause that's what it is. Can we--"

You know, you don't wanna be a dick, but you're-- I-I just remember thinking like, "Yeah, that's cool. Now, uh, can we do one where it looks like the actual thing that we're holding? [chuckles] You fucking idiot. Like why do you not know what that looks like? You're-- This is what you do." It was the flame guy that worked at the special effects place. Like his whole specialty was fire, fire stuff and he doesn't know what [crosstalk].

Rob: His job is called flame. He was- he was the flame guy. Yeah.

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: Right. Yeah-yeah.

Rob: But they did a great job on the fireball. That's for fuck sure.

Glenn: They did. They did. But-but-but that was because-

Charlie: Well-- I'm the flame guy. You want a flame? I'm gonna give you a good flame. You know, you're-you're like- you're like, "But I-I--"

Rob: That-that-that was fascinating to do such a great job on the fireball, but then we just couldn't get them to do the lighter.

Glenn: But that was-- that was an actual fireball.

Charlie: He was too excited. Too jazzed up about it.

Glenn: That was an actual fireball.

Charlie: Oh, it was an actual fireball.

Rob: Yes, it was. That was comped in.

Glenn: Yeah, so we had a guy-

Charlie: Yes.

Glenn: we had a guy standing in front of a green screen-

Charlie: Yes.

Glenn: -who blew an actual fireball.

Charlie: So we had the element.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: That's right, we had the element. Um-

Charlie: So why didn't we do that with a lighter? Why didn't we shoot a little flame coming off a lighter and then--

Glenn: I think we- I-I think we did. Um, and I--

Rob: Glenn laid into this guy like he was the hotel manager who wasn’t giving us a room.

Charlie: [laughs]

Glenn: No, I did not. I did not. I did not. I was-- I was uh--

Charlie: You.

Glenn: But I w- I wanted to. I wanted to.

Charlie: [laughs] You fo--

Glenn: You call yourself a flame guy? You're no flame guy.

Charlie: That's not what a lighter does.

Meg: What was that in the barrels? Do you guys remember what you were drinking? 'Cause you slurp it up-

Rob: Yeah, it's just water.

Meg: -but then the more memorable one is Charlie siphoning it out of his-- out of the gas tank.

Charlie: Well, let me tell you something, when you siphon out of a car, whether you've put something in there or not–

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: there's been gas in that car. So you do get-- I remember getting like a mouthful of fumy whatever we put in there. I can't remember what we put in there, but-

Glenn: What did it taste like? I mean, I-I don't know. I've ever had gasoline in my life.

Charlie: I can't remember probably 'cause I drank gasoline. You know what I mean? Like, this is, this is what–


Rob: I like that you point out that it's such a waste of time because we're-we're dr-- we're wasting so much time in--

Charlie: We're burning up the gas.

Rob: And then also you've just swallowed so much of it. It's just-- you wasted it.

Charlie: Oh, and that's just a damn waste.

Meg: And you're more annoyed that-- Yeah, it's a damn waste. [laughs]

Charlie: It's a damn waste.


Rob: Uh, gang, we want you to know that this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp online therapy.

Charlie: If you're not familiar with BetterHelp, it's an online therapy service that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with licensed therapists all around the world. How it works is you answer questions and BetterHelp assesses your needs and matches you with the right person to talk to, in less than two days. It's not just about who's around you or who's available, it's about who's best for you.

Meg: Yeah, I've actually used BetterHelp before because I had a, uh, sort of temporary problem that I wanted to see a therapist, um, quickly about, and it was really, really easy to use. I signed up and they matched me with someone really quickly.

Glenn: Well, that's about-- yeah, I mean, that's the best part of it, right? You get matched to the-the person that's the most right for you. You're not like, tethered to, you know, whoever's in your area, whoever's available, whoever you're gonna get an appointment with, you can get, uh, matched with the right person from all over the world, and you don't have to sit in traffic and go to the person's office. You get to just do it right from your laptop computer.

Charlie: That's right. Always Sunny Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month of online therapy at

Rob: Creeps, you are already reading this with your eyeballs, but listeners, that's H-E-L-P, not BetterHealth.

Glenn: Go to for 10% off your first month of therapy.


Charlie: I- I do feel like this episode and this season is where we really found the show. You know, where-- the first season we are discovering what it is, and the second we're refining it, and Danny's coming in, so that's a new element. And the third, we're trying some big swings and maybe some things are a little more cartoony than where we want to go. And this season, we're really kind of settling into it. And the character dynamics and how we relate to each other are really tight in this episode, so I think this is where it really works.

Meg: You can, you can feel it in that scene, after the bank. I love that you guys are trying to move on to the next step in the plan, and then Dennis is just hung up on, "I can't believe you guys-"

Rob: We very rarely-

Meg: "-popped your shirts off back there."

Rob: -we very rarely do that, and it stood out to me, and I really liked it.

Meg: I loved it.

Rob: That Dennis wants to, "Can we just have a heart-to-heart for a second, guys?"

Meg: [laughs]

Glenn: "Can I get this off my chest?"

Charlie: Yeah, he's uncomfortable about something, you know.

Glenn: “I don't wanna carry this around.”

Rob: I don't wanna-- yeah.

Glenn: “I don't wanna carry this around.”

Rob: “Yeah. That-that-that didn't sit well with–”

Charlie: “That's was my thing, and you guys took it, and you guys took it.”

Glenn: “And it hurt- and it hurt,” yeah.

Meg: [laughs]

Glenn: It-it's-- that's actually a very, very kind of mature way of approaching the situation. You know what I mean? Like, far more mature than-than how these characters normally act to-to-to come to your friends and say, "Hey, listen, I gotta bring something up 'cause this really- this really bothered me when you guys did this," like that-that's actually a healthy way to confront somebody about how their behavior affected your-- affected you.

Charlie: Yeah, I remember feeling that too. That it's like, "Oh, this is interestingly out of character," right? To see him like a little broken about something.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: [laughs] But also- but also to be broken about that.

Charlie: [laughs] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: You know what I mean, so like the-the vanity and the ridiculousness is still there because what I'm hurt about is just so ridiculous and vain.

Rob: But that's your thing. We've established that's-

Glenn: That’s my thing. Yeah.

Rob: -your thing and if you take my thing away from me, then what role do I have?

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: What am I?

Rob: And then you very quickly realize that you're-- not only- not only did you get that back, but then you also added a thing. So you took one away from-from me. Wasn't that the same scene?

Meg: Yeah, he's the brains and the looks

Rob: You then said I'm-I'm actually the brains and the looks.

Meg: And you're the muscle.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: But you could be-- Yeah, 'cause you confuse my bossiness for braininess, which is definitely a real conversation at some point.


Meg: There is something under this.

Charlie: That is what happened.

Rob: That is what happened.

Glenn: It is his personality. That is who he is.

Meg: [clears throat]

Glenn: [laughs]

Meg: I have a question for you guys.

Charlie: Can’t believe we scratched–

Meg: Have you ever sold anything door-to-door?

Glenn: I have.

Charlie: Hmm. No.

Rob: Did you- did you sell meat or knives? You sold meat or knives, right?

Glenn: Buddy, buddy, I s-- I sold- I sold meat.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: It was a, uh, not a job that I had for a long time. It was- it was a c-crazy, crazy job driving around in a refrigerated truck and trying to sell people large quantities of meat, you know, like meat in bulk. Like somebody knocks on your door and is like, "I got a truck full of meat. Uh, you-you-you're interested in that?" Like, oh God.

Charlie: Did you ever get any sales?

Glenn: Yeah-yeah, I made a few. I made a few, but I wasn't good at it 'cause I was never good at-at-at, uh, I was never good at just, I don't know, salesmany stuff like bull-bullshitting. It felt like bullshit 'cause it was.

Rob: Well, have we solved the podcast crisis today?

Charlie: Yeah, maybe.

Meg: So I was going to ask if you guys wanted to give us your best wildcard face-

Rob: [laughs]

Meg: -because uh, I know that Glenn's ready to give his wildcard face right now, um, but--

Glenn: Let's do it.

Rob: Yeah, let's do it.

Glenn: I'll do it.

Charlie: Glenn go.

Glenn: Oh, you want me to start?

Meg: Yeah, why don't you start?

Glenn: I feel like maybe I should go last.

Rob: You know what? Do you want-- do you mind taking off the sunglasses? 'Cause I feel like so much is in the eyes.

Meg: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah, actually, Charlie, could you-- 'cause my arm. Yeah, tha-thank you.

Charlie: Here-- there you go.

Glenn: I appreciate that. Yeah. Uh, okay. All right. Ready?

Meg: Yep.

Charlie: Oh, that's good. That is so good.

Rob: Oh, that's great.

Charlie: Do-do another one, Glenn.

Rob and Charlie: Oh.

Charlie: That's the one. That's the one.

[background noise]

Rob: I can't beat that.

Charlie: Yeah, you can't do that. Yeah. You can't beat that.

Rob: I'm not even gonna try.

Meg: Can't even compete.

Charlie: That's the- that's-that's the stuff.

Glenn: You guys liked that?

Rob: Yeah, that was great.

Glenn: Thank you.

Meg: I'd also-- talking about the looks of things. I'd also like to talk about, um, the sexy drawings that Dennis-- this is the first episode, I think, where he makes--

Charlie: No, no, this is the second.

Glenn: No, we did it in the dress–

Meg: Fatty Magoo, yeah, Fatty Magoo-

Charlie: Fatty Magoo, he was- he was, uh-

Meg: -was the first-- but here-here's a research--

Charlie: arousing himself with his own drawings.


Meg: Oh, yes. Of Dennis', um, version of an ideal woman who's like completely, uh, disproportionate.

Rob: [laughs] Yeah.

Meg: Who draws those?

Glenn: Yeah, giant breasts and a tiny waist.

Rob: Does-does Casey draw? Casey's a great artist.

Charlie: Uh.

Glenn: No, that was actually, I think that was actually, um, it was a female props master that we had, uh, that, that drew all those photos.

Rob: Oh.

Meg: Oh, great. So you made a woman do it. [laughs]

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: We didn't make-- we don't make-- we don't make women do anything. It says in the script and–

Meg: You paid her to do it.

Charlie: We said just draw an attractive woman, we're like, "This- this is what you came up with?"

Glenn: This is what you're dr-- All right, let's go with it. You know what I mean? That's funny for us.

Charlie: Uh, no, the-the sort of teenage--

Rob: What do you want? Do you want women to have more jobs in Hollywood or do you want--

Meg: Yes.

Rob: Come on, what are we supposed to do?

Meg: It's-it's more better for them.

Rob: It's more better for you to take a job and do what we say, you know? We established this. We've established this.

Glenn: Yeah. It-it makes more sense to give a, uh, a woman the opportunity to draw a woman.

Rob: Yeah.

Meg: Yes.

Rob: Yeah, in the way that a man explains it.

Glenn: Yes. And explain how–

Rob: Tell you how to do it. This is what a woman looks like.


Glenn: We told her how to do it. We allowed her to do the work. The actual work.

Charlie: And if you push back, we'll take this shit to the Supreme Court and we will win.

Meg: [laughs]

Rob: Well, of course, we'll win. This is a great time to be a man.

Charlie: We will get our man's way. We get it.

Rob: We had a rough run. We had a rough run for like three, four years, but I think we're back, right?

Charlie: Right.

Glenn: What? Men are back?

Charlie: Men are back [laughs].

Rob: Men are back.

Meg: You never left.

Rob: Nah, we never left.

Meg: You never left.

Charlie: We never left.

Rob: We never, whatever. We--

Charlie: We never.


[End Credits]


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