On the pod, the guys revisit The Gang Gets Held Hostage from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 3, Episode 4.
Rob McElhenney: Um, well, you know, how, what about daylight savings? [laughs]
Charlie Day: Let's get rid of that too.
Rob: What the fuck?
Charlie: What a bunch of crap is that shit.
Rob: Once a year the- it comes up and then there's a movement where everybody complains about it. And then you have like some weirdo politician who's like on my sole platform, I'm gonna run on the sole platform of like getting rid of this and then it– then we forget about it. And I'm sure it's-
Charlie: You know-
Rob: -been talked about on a lot of podcasts but why does it not happen?
Charlie: -you know why that doesn't--
Rob: We don't want it. Nobody wants it, nobody likes it.
Megan Ganz: [laughter]
Rob: Except fucking farmers, somebody-- And that's what we keep hearing.
Charlie: Why the fuck would a farmer-
Rob: I don't-
Charlie: -like a farmer's like, "Oh, I gotta get up before a bit early."
Glenn Howerton: “I gotta get up even earlier.”
Charlie: I think it's a part of this goddamn corn.
Rob: What is- what-what is going on?
Charlie: The sun's not changing, we're changed. What are we doing? What is-- I don't know.
Rob: What is it?
Charlie: We got hot for a second, that was pretty good.
Rob: I think we should have a whole call-in show-
Charlie: About whether or not-
Rob: -about whether or not-- What, like, truly what is going on with-with-
Charlie: I tell you what if you're a politician, and you're running on daylight savings that's gonna get you nowhere.
Rob: Well, I think it's more of a jo-
Charlie: Because people-people aren’t afraid.
Rob: -I think it's more of a joke, but it actually does rile people up. Because no-- I haven't even talked to anybody. Have you ever talked to one person who's like, "Man, I'm super psyched about- about changing them clocks."
Rob: You are, you're one of them.
Charlie: Well, I--
Glenn: I like to fall back.
Glenn: I like to fall back.
Charlie: You like that extra sleep but don't you- don't you-
Glenn: An extra hour asleep.
Charlie: Yeah, but you like it-
Rob: One for-for one day?
Glenn: I don't like springing forward.
Glenn: I don't like that.
Charlie: But do you like looking at your clock and you're like, "Oh, it's 4:30, oho, the sun just went down."
Charlie: Yeah, right.
Rob: Okay, well then--
Charlie: Nobody likes that, not you--
Rob: Okay, so that- but that's the vast majority of it. You just, but the f-- it's all waited for-
Glenn: But I'm also-
Rob: -the one day?
Glenn: -but I'm also not a huge fan of the sun. In case that's not clear from my complexion.
Charlie: So we should get rid of the sun. I do sort of feel like that's where-
Glenn: I think that's the real problem is the sun. I mean, you know what I mean? We-we-- [chuckles]
Charlie: We're heading that way. We are headed to- to people wanting to cancel the sun being like, "It- it gives you fucking cancer.
Rob: That's true.
Charlie: Enough of the sun."
Glenn: Yeah, right.
Charlie: Enough of this sun.
Glenn: Let's cancel the sun.
Charlie: Let's get rid of it.
Charlie: That's where we're going.
Glenn: Yeah. I- I like that plan.
Rob: Uh, well, look, the- the sun does give you cancer. It also gives us life. Let's learn to live with the sun guys.
Glenn: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Charlie: But what is the daylight savings time giving us? It's giving us nothing.
Glenn: No, I'm- I'm with you guys. I think it should be eradicated.
Rob: And- and every year it, I, it's a- it's a topic of conversation for a couple of days.
Rob: People get riled up, you see it on social media. Everyone's like, "Why are we doing this again?" And then-
Rob: -someone else was like, "Well, actually the reason why we're doing this 'cause of blah blah blah." And nobody gives a shit.
Rob: Nobody gives a shit.
Glenn: Now, was that a scientist who- what was that?
Charlie: That was a stupid science bitch trying to make--
Glenn: Was that a stupid science bitch?
Charlie: I-I am more sma-smarter.
Rob: This is me pretending to know what I'm talking about.
Rob: Which I don't.
Glenn: Well, you do. I mean, you're a person living in the world.
Rob: I'm a person that has an opinion.
Rob: And I'm sure there is a valid reason out there.
Glenn: There is--
Rob: And every year I'm like, "I'm gonna look it up." And then I'm like, "I don't fucking care."
Glenn: Oh, yeah.
Charlie: Isn't that- isn't there like a state that doesn't do like Arizona-
Charlie -just doesn't do it.
Glenn: There's some- some places that don't, there are some places that don't do it, which you know, kinda proves your point to a degree, I mean I--
Rob: Which is then even more confusing as we become more of a-a conn- a-a connected society all over the world. We're like the time zones of like, uh, what is it there?-
Rob: It's chaos.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: It's chaos, it's chaos. I- I think you should do a deep dive on it and really try to figure out the reason for it.
Glenn: Right? Really weigh the pros and-
Glenn: -cons in a- in an educated way.
Rob: And then let's have a call-in show. Right? Yeah, you don't--
Charlie: Not about daylight savings.
Charlie: We got-- It's--
Rob: -well-well, listening to the caller, we have to have some structure to that 'cause that was- that was fun, but it was-
Charlie: It was chaos.
Rob: -it was chaos, which is okay for the first one but now I think we have to.
Charlie: Yeah. Well, we'll-we'll-we'll come up with a something that people can specifically ask us that will be entertaining to hear people ask.
Rob: I-I think if we had a call-in show about daylight savings, there wouldn't be enough conflict. Well, I think you're gonna have 100% of the audience.
Charlie: I agree. I agree.
Rob: “Why are we doing this? This is the dumbest thing ever.”
Charlie: Yeah. Yeah.
Glenn: Yeah. Well, uh, you know, you know, what's entertaining? Getting held hostage.
*OPENING CREDITS 3:51*
Rob: Mm, I love this episode.
Charlie: It's interesting. So, um-
Glenn: It's- it's in- it's interesting. I- I remember loving this episode.
Rob: See, I remember hating it.
Glenn: Oh, say I-- Yeah, I always loved this episode.
Glenn: Always loved it. And last night, I watched it and I was like, "Nah, I still like it. I- I- I still think it's funny," but [chuckles] I don't know. I mean, it's--
Charlie: It's a first depa- departure episode, right? The first time we took the format of the show and--
Glenn: Well, we, uh, I think that--
Charlie: Like did it, like 'cause it's almost--
Glenn: Yeah. It's-it's a movie.
Charlie: We were using different music, we're using-
Rob: And true- and truly at this point, the characters are not really human beings. We're- we're presenting people who are actively like, trying to get the other characters killed.
Rob: Right? Which is like-
Glenn: It's a bit broad, yeah.
Rob: It's broad. It's super broad. And I remember the time being like, is this really the direction of the show? And it turned out, yes.
Rob: And for good reason.
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah.
Charlie: Um, so, I- I saw one of those lists like on, I don't know it's like collider or something of like, best episode from each season.
Charlie: And for this season, they had picked The Gang Gets Held Hostage.
Charlie: I don't agree.
Glenn: Mmmh. Well, I-
Charlie: I don't agree. I don't think it's our best episode. I- I was kinda like, meh.
Charlie: Like I laughed enough that I made it work but I was also like, "What are- what were we doing?"
Glenn: I enjoyed it. I almost enjoyed it more for nostalgic purposes like I- I- I 'cause I- because I loved that episode so much when we were making it and when we were editing it, although I do remember that what the problem was, we got in the editing room, we put that episode together and we were like, “This does not work at all.” And that's when we-
Charlie: 'Cause we're using Sunny music probably?
Glenn: 'Cause we were using Sunny--
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Glenn: We were using the same music we're always using, we realized we just did it as an experiment, we were like, "Why don't you just take a bunch of action movie music?" And we had our editor just cut a version with a bunch of action movie music in it and all of a sudden it worked.
Charlie: Yeah, I didn't think about that while watching it about how the creative process leads you often. Like you, we don't go in there necessarily saying we're gonna do something with action music-
Charlie: -that's good. Sometimes we do sometimes we have a very specific idea like that, like this ski episode where we're like, we're gonna spoof those ski movies, and we'll probably use ski movie music and movie. But we- but for this one, it was just like, we're gonna tell a story about this happening and we're gonna reference Die Hard a little bit, and then we get in the editing room and we're like, "Well, we just can't use our regular music. It doesn't work."
Charlie: So we have to search around we find something that works and then- and then that becomes the reality for that. You know that's- that's how we-we get there. We don't really have sort of some preconceived idea of how we're gonna get there, it's just we keep trying things.
Charlie: And then what seems to be right reveals itself to us. I don't know if that's interesting to listen to?
Glenn: No, it is. I mean, I-I-I think I-I do think, um, it's also-- It is interesting, though, how much music really does influence your experience of something because-
Charlie: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Glenn: Uh, I mean--
Charlie: Did you ever see those cuts were they, um, I know you have where they take like-
Glenn: Oh, yeah.
Charlie: -The Shining.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie: And then they like-
Glenn: They cut it to Peter Gabriel's, uh-
Charlie: Yeah [laughs].
Glen: -Salisbury Hill.
Rob: Or if they take out a laugh track on certain sitcoms.
Charlie: Oh, yeah.
Rob: Even sitcoms you love.
Glenn: Oh, that's great. Yes, that’s great.
Rob: Sei- Seinfeld or friends with like, shows I lo- I truly love-
Charlie: Without the laugh track, yeah.
Rob: -and they take the laugh track out and you're like, "Whoa."
Glenn: It's just big holes.
Rob: So weird.
Glenn: Yeah, that's just great.
Rob: I know that-that idea that necessity drives innovation to a certain point, right, where you're like, "Well, we- we fucked this up and now it's necessary for us to try to fix it." And then we figure out in a different way to do it.
Glenn: Maybe we should put a different soundtrack over COVID. You know what I mean?
Glenn: Just put a different soundtrack over it and set--
Charlie: What is the soundtrack of COVID?
Glenn: Well, I think the soundtrack of COVID right now is like [sings] and maybe it shouldn't be doing [sings]. You know, maybe-maybe you can, I don't know, maybe you can sh- shine- shine a little sunshine on it.
Rob: Lighten up all the death.
Glenn: Yeah. Well, or focused on the positive-
Glenn: -parts of it.
Rob: All the people that lived.
Glenn: Yeah, look at all the people that lived.
Rob: Okay. [laughs]
Glenn: [laughs]. So many people lived. Um, I- I don't know. I mean, just a thought, what, you know, maybe- maybe if when we talk about COVID on the news-
Glenn: -you know, we play like something jolly in the background, like- like Christmas music and shit. You know where like--
Rob: Do-- Do it with war. Do it with social turmoil.
Rob: Like, that's what we do with Sunny. In the beginning, we were like, well, how, this is dark. If we go dark with it, it's not gonna work. So Let's lighten it up. Let's play Leave It to Beaver music.
Glenn: It's and it works. So it works on It's Always Sunny.
Rob: Let's do it on the news.
Glenn: Let's do it on- let's do it on the news.
Charlie: Let's do it on the news. That'll be more relaxed.
Rob: More relaxed. Calm down.
Glenn: I mean, let's really fuck with people and when they tell good news, then you put [sings].
Charlie: Yeah. That's good. Warp minds.
Glenn: Like we've cured cancer, but it's like, mm, mm, you know what I mean? Something else is gonna pop up or whatever-
Charlie: Yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, you never know with that music.
Glen: -to replace it. Yeah.
Charlie: Uh, there's a-
Glenn: You never know with that music. [laughs].
Charlie: [laughs] There is a thing where the guns are rubber at the end.
Charlie: But there's a thing where D grabs the gun-
Rob: Yeah, yeah. Makes- doesn't make any sense.
Charlie: -and then cocks it and it's so real. So I guess you'd have to be like, well, there was like one kind of prop or real-ish gun and the other one was rubber and--
Rob: Okay, do you- do you remember this? I think it was this episode. I think it was this episode where we got to the editing room-
Rob: -and we had slowed down that footage and--
Charlie: Where-when Nate falls-
Rob: Right, and so where-
Charlie: That shit is really funny.
Charlie: Where he falls on the ground and it's all-
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shit was hilarious.
Rob: So, we're in the like, mix studio or whatever. And we're like-
Rob: -okay, great. So we wanna slow down.
Charlie: Uh, I do remember this.
Glenn: I remember this.
Rob: And the- and the guy was like, "I can't do that."
Charlie: It can't be done.
Rob: It just can't be done. And we were like, "No, no, it can be done." Like you slower down to match what's happening.
Rob: No, that's just like-
Charlie: No, that's not-
Rob: -no, it's just like not possible. It was--
Rob: We were, we're not making that up. We've stolen, or we're stealing it from-
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: -things we've seen-
Charlie: From-- No, it's only been done 1,000 times.
Glenn: Yes. Right, right, right.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. “Has it not been done here? Because it's, like,” but like-
Glenn: Well, this is a man whose job it is to do sound stuff.
Charlie: And it kept coming out like [mimics noise].
Glenn: Yeah. Was like that. Yeah.
Charlie: You know like [mimics noise]
Charlie: We're like well, not that not whatever that is.
Charlie: Like- like the thing you've heard in the movie when it's slowed down.
Rob: It is a- it's- it's amazing how often that ha- that will happen-
Glenn: All the time.
Rob: -where people are like-
Glenn: All the time.
Rob: -you just, this is not possible.
Charlie: Oh, then-
Rob: Now, now what--
Charlie: -my biggest pet peeve is on set where your character has a microphone and so some sound guys like, "So we'll put in the echo effect in the room after."
Charlie: “So let's not actually have the microphone on.” And then they can't do it. It's like, just-
Charlie: -turn the fucking microphone on and we'll record that.
Rob: An example of that is also in this episode two where you can clearly hear that I'm off camera talking to Frank in the walkie-talkie.
Charlie: Uh, yeah, yeah.
Rob: And I remember that was real like I was just off camera actually doing it.
Rob: And I remember that every- the- this big discussion-
Rob: -at the production meeting like, "Well, we'll just put it in later." Like, wh- why don't we do that? Why don't we just do it right now? We don't have to put it in later.
Glenn: Yeah, just you holding a walkie talkie.
Charlie: Well, yeah.
Glenn: You can hear it.
Charlie: Uh, but, uh, anytime someone says is gonna look like something later or a sound or look like something, I'm always like, "No, let's just make it sound and look like it now."
Charlie: And so that I know we like we-- [laughs] Like-
Charlie: -when people are like, oh, well, that's not gonna look like that but what-what--
Rob: How about--
Charlie: It does look like it, I can see it.
Rob: De-de-de-destroying the illusion of Hollywood for a second, when somebody walks in with a- with a-a paper bag just-just so you all aware of this.
Glenn: I love this. I love this.
Rob: A grocery paper bag, anytime you see one out TV or movies, except for on our show, it is made out of this material-
Rob: -that-that is un of this earth.
Glenn: It's amazing material by the way.
Rob: It's amazing material is some kind of like plastic. It's not a real bag and the reason is because at some point, the sound department colluded with the-
Rob: -props department-
Rob: -and said, we can't have real bags on the set because they crinkle and they make too much noise.
Glenn: That's right.
Charlie: They sound like bags.
Rob: They sound like bags. So what we'll do is we'll have you get these fake ones that don't really, well, upon inspection, don't really look like it and also don't have the properties of a bag so they don't look like a bag. And then we'll-we'll put it in post.
Rob: So, all the sounds that you could get will pay for later to add in to not actually have them on set.
Rob: Why? Why?
Charlie: Do you remember the season, we had the boom guy who like either always had a cold, a perpetual cold or-
Glenn: We’ve talked about this on the podcast.
Glenn: [laughs]. Yeah.
Rob: Now, we have and you--
Charlie: Yeah, we have.
Rob: I didn't wanna say-
Glenn: Well, I'm--
Rob: -I didn't wanna say.
Charlie: I never-
Rob: I- I didn't wanna say.
Glenn: But no, but, that's different than we've talked about this before, I'm saying we've actually talked about this on a podcast.
Charlie: I never want to challenge what we have or haven't. No argument from me. If you tell me we have-
Charlie: I'm sure that we have.
Glenn: And by the way, I still I-I'm, I'd be down to hear that story again 'cause it makes me fucking laugh. I think it's hilarious.
Charlie: No, you killed it, you killed the joy.
Glenn: [laughs] Yeah.
Rob: That was no but.
Rob: No, but as opposed to yes.
Glenn: Well, it was-
Charlie: No, we already, it was what it was.
Glenn: It was we already.
Glenn: Yeah. No, we are.
Charlie: We already. Which is fine.
Charlie: It's like you al- you already said that line man, you don't need to say it again.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah. I- I al- I do enjoy--
Rob: Oh, there's ADR in this episode, too. I caught two ADRs.
Glenn: Go ahead.
Charlie: What were they?
Rob: They were two of them.
Rob: I- I kinda wanna challenge the- the audience and I o-- Like, okay, so-
Rob: -it's, it- it- it's one of- one of them is my line and one of them is Jimmi’s line. And might be interesting to see if people can identify it, because it was clear to me, because, uh, ADR is always like, clear if you know, if you remember it, and-
Rob: -they, and, they I don't know if your audience would know.
Glenn: Okay, so you're gonna challenge the audience to try to pick up-
Glenn: -those ADR moments.
Glenn: Uh, did-- But was it-- Does it pop out enough to where people are actually gonna be able to pick out that that was not production?
Rob: I don't know. Well, maybe that's a- that's a good, uh-- You guys didn't pick up on it again. So maybe that's a good sign that it was- wasn't an ADR.
Glenn: Well, it's, I- I don't know that it's that I didn't pick up on it as much as that didn't feel like it was worthy to talk about.
Glenn: But–I'm not saying it isn't.
Charlie: Oh, you touched his hand. You touched Rob's hand. And it's- and it's-
Rob: It's so uncommon for you guys to touch me. I don't mind being touched.
Glenn: Yeah, me either.
Rob: I-I and I like- and I like touching.
Glenn: I enjoy being touched.
Rob: I-I, uh, but I- I feel like whenever I touch, definitely Charlie, which we talked about-
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Rob: -but Glen even, I've--
Glenn: Isn't- isn't funny how like I feel like of the three of us, like you're the most approachable and sort of like the-the most, like the-
Rob: The most lovable.
Glenn: The most lovable of the three of us and yet, like, I-I and I'm probably the least, [chuckles] and yet, like in real life, I enjoy touch, I think more than even you guys.
Glenn: De- definitely more than you.
Rob: Well, to be fair-
Glenn: Maybe even more you.
Rob: -people might be afraid of your touch.
Glenn: I-I think when people meet me in real life, they can feel that my energy isn't quite what it is when they-- Yeah, I always expect like, if I get approached by a fan of the show, like I always expect them to be a little like, "Hmm, is this guy gonna yell at me." [laughs]
Glenn: You know? Um--
Rob: Yeah, I mean, you might.
Glenn: But they don't-- Well, I might but it won't be because-
Glenn: -it won't be because you're [chuckles], you know it won't be because you're nice. It will be because you're a dick. But like, uh, uh, you know, uh, uh, but people actually don't feel that way around me. And I, and I-
Glenn: -and I appreciate that. I- I don't know if that's--
Charlie: No. You in their homes, man, you're in their living room. But they come right up and just touch you? No.
Glenn: No. That- that- that would be a little-
Glenn: -a little bit strange, although, I-I'd be more open to it than you'd think. Like CO- if-if COVID weren't such a thing, you know what I mean? And-and somebody came, like-like a fan came up and was like, "Oh, my God, I-I-I really like your show." And like, "Can I give you a hug?" I mean, fuck yeah, let's do it.
Charlie: Yeah, I hug fans all time.
Glenn: I'm a hugger, I'm a hugger.
Charlie: I'm-I'm fine with a mutually accepted-
Charlie: -touch situation.
Glenn: It's when it comes out of nowhere.
Rob: It-it is more when it comes out of nowhere.
Charlie: I just I'm easily startled. You know, I'm like a-
Charlie: -you know like a-
Glenn: Right. You're [chuckles]-
Charlie: Like a so like, you know, like a I don't know.
Glenn: So you’re like a cobra.
Charlie: Like, uh, yeah a cobra, yeah. I was gonna say more like a muskrat. Yeah, just like a-
Rob: Both are ready to strike at any-
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: -moment, right?
Charlie: I'm ready to-
Rob: One spider to one spider-
Charlie: -I'm more ready to scramble than I am to strike.
Glenn: Right. Hence the muskrat. Yeah.
Charlie: I'm more ready to scramble. Yeah, I get out of-- In a hostage situation, I find the first one who will be out fast.
Charlie: You know, I could get out fast.
Glenn: That's what you'd in a hostage situation.
Charlie: I don't know. I don't know.
Glenn: What if your friends were in danger?
Charlie: I don't wanna know. Have you ever had a gun pointed at you in real life?
Rob: Hmm, God, no.
Glenn: I mean, other than on-
Glenn: -a set that, no.
Charlie: I have.
Glenn: You? Really?
Charlie: Yeah, my next-door neighbor-
Glenn: A loaded gun, was it loaded?
Charlie: I didn't ask.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm-I just was curious.
Rob: It doesn't matter.
Charlie: My nei-- And I was a-
Rob: I mean, it does matter but not in this situation, yeah.
Glenn: The rule is you're supposed to assume it was, yeah.
Charlie: I was a child, uh-
Charlie: -and like, you know, I mean, 12, 11. and I think we were riding our bikes to our friend's house. And I had this crazy neighbor, man. And, uh, I guess I rode my bike too close to his truck or whatever and he pulled the shotgun out, pointed me and my friends. He goes, "I can make you all fade."
Glenn: That's a great fucking line.
Charlie: We're like, "Oh, shit, man." That was it.
Glenn: Fucking triping.
Charlie: I don't know- I don't know why he had a country accent in Rhode Island, but he did.
Glenn: He did?
Charlie: Yeah, he was probably a little on the lamb, you know, it was probably hiding out.
Glenn: Oh, yeah.
Glenn: Yeah. He was- he was on a lamb.
Charlie: He was on the lamb.
Glen: He was on the lamb. Which just means when you're- when you eat lamb and you're like on the lamb, right? Isn't that what that means?
Charlie: That's not a good joke.
Glenn: Cut that, cut that, cut that, cut that.
Charlie: Yeah, but that was a-- I've had a knife- I've had a knife pulled on me too.
Glenn: I had a knife pulled on me once.
Rob: Yeah. Not but, yeah, in-in a mugging situation. But it never came anywhere near me.
Glenn: You've been mugged?
Rob: I've been mugged. I've been mugged twice.
Rob: Well also like bea- I've-I've been beaten up a bunch.
Rob: But that was less like, it's this is about-about your, getting your money.
Glenn: And that was more like--
Rob: The mugging- the muggings were never violent because I just gave them the thing.
Rob: 'Cause what's worth, but then I've been like jumped. You've jumped before.?
Glenn: I've never been jumped.
Rob: Oh, really?
Charlie: Like jumped? You never been jumped or mugged?
Glenn: Oh, I've been mugged. I've never been jumped.
Meg: What's the difference between being jumped and being mugged?
Charlie: Well, when you're mugged, someone wants some money from you. When you jumped, someone just wants to kick your ass [chuckles].
Rob: Just wants to beat your ass.
Meg: Oh, wow.
Glenn: They just want to beat your ass.
Charlie: [laughs] Yeah, yeah.
Rob: And the mugging, you don't really deserve. Sometimes the-the-the ass kicking--
Charlie: No, you don't. No, you don't deserve-- No, that's not-
Rob: You don't– deserve is the word.
Charlie: No, no, a jump-- Yeah, is like, no, unmotivated fight.
Rob: Nobody deserves this. Yes, I was- I was jumped on the Wildwood boardwalk. Like a group- a group of kids be-be-beat me-
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: -for-for fun.
Glenn: What is this-- Is this the Jersey boardwalk?
Rob: New Jersey, yeah. Yeah.
Rob: South Jersey, board- the boardwalk.
Rob: Wildwood New Jersey.
Glenn: Oh, right. Right, right. Okay, yeah.
Rob: The Wildwood Boardwalk and-
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: -a group of young, um-
Charlie: “Get his vinegar smelling ass.”
Charlie: “Get that little, the vinegar kid in the speedos, kick his ass. Foot keeps slipping right off him.”
Glenn: “We should wipe our fish on him”.
Charlie: “I'm trying to punch you but the punch is sliding right off.”
Rob: I was on a bike. It was a bit weird, I was like on a bike and I was like trying to get out and I realized like I was surrounded.
Glenn: So these are total strangers?
Glenn: Total strangers.
Glenn: And they just decided-
Glenn: How old were you?
Rob: Um, 14.
Rob: I was a freshman in high school.
Glenn: How bad was the beat down? Like, how bad did it get?
Rob: It wasn't terrible, it wasn't great.
Rob: I just remember like, I had a bike and I was like, oh, and then some kid came up and was like, "Hey, give me some money." And I was like, "I don't have any," which I didn't. But it'd rather-- And then I can tell like, now I was being surrounded and I was like, "Oh, good." And then, there these people everywhere. It's the boardwalk in the summer.
Rob: The kid-- I tried to move and the kid sticks his foot like in the spokes-
Rob: -just stop it-
Rob: -and stopped it. And then he was like, "Oh."
Glenn: You could have fucked him up.
Rob: Well, he was like, "Ow," and then some other guys like, "Did you- did you just hurt my brother?" And I was like, "No, I was just trying to," and I'm like now get my bike, and I know I'm gonna get beat up.
Glenn: Yeah, you know what’s up.
Rob: And then I just like turn and the kid whose foot, like who put in the foot in the fucking clock me right off the- off the--
Charlie: Did they steal your bike?
Rob: No, so that's why it's not a mugging.
Charlie: That was just a-a-a jumping.
Rob: And then they kind of stomped on me a little bit.
Charlie: A-a jumping.
Glenn: Stomped on you.
Rob: And then, of course, they like, well, like kick me and what not. Again, nothing like serious 'cause we're in, I mean, it was thousands of people in the Wildwood.
Rob: And then eventually someone's like, "Hey, what-what are you doing over there?" And then-
Glenn: What a-- Yeah.
Rob: “What are these kids doing?”
Charlie: I saw a crazy a fight when I was in Australia and it was, um, like their national hol- like their fourth of July. I think is called Australia Day.
Charlie: And, uh, there were like these teenagers right outside my house. And they were like, a couple of them were beating up on this one kid. And I thought alright, I got a go down there and like break it up or something, right? Like I was like, I gotta-- Maybe they'll recognize me and they'll stop fighting for a second.
Glenn: Oh so, well when was this?
Charlie: This was-
Glenn: How long ago are we talking about?
Charlie: -five years ago or something. I was in- I was doing Pacific Rim 2 in Australia.
Glenn: Oh, right, right, right. Yeah.
Charlie: So um, and then I realized, those kids are gonna kick the living shit out of me. Like that weird feeling of like, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm now at the age where those teenagers, they're-- they're stronger than me. They got more energy, more-more-
Glenn: Absolutely. More testosterone.
Charlie: More testosterone, they can kick the fuck out of me.
Charlie: But I did start making my way downstairs and by the time I-I was-- I saw them from like an upstairs window of this house I was renting. By the time I got down, they were- they were gone.
Rob: They had dispersed.
Charlie: But, it was a pretty-- Last time I saw like a good brawl happening. That's an Australian thing though.
Rob: Oh, yeah. I mean, let's not be too stereotypical but every Australian guy I know-
Glenn: “Just having some fun mate.”
Charlie: “Yeah, just having some fun mate.”
Glenn: “You're next.”
Charlie: “You're next, alright?”
Glenn: “You're gonna be my next bit of fun.”
Glenn: Uh, yeah.
Charlie: “Butt your head.”
Glenn: Brutal. Yeah.
Rob: Yeah, like in New York, I-- Someone showed me a knife and I was like, "What-what do you need?"
Glenn: “What do you need? I got you.”
Rob: “What do you need? I'll give it to you.”
Glenn: I-I remember, yeah, I got mugged. Uh, I was with my buddy, Sam Whitler. We were-- It-it was after a birthday party, we were at, like right near the Roosevelt Hotel, and-
Rob: Beautiful part of Hollywood.
Glenn: Yeah, well, yeah. These guys pulled up and, you know, got out the-- It-it was kind of a similar situation. They were like, "Yo, you got $20?" And-and-and, I was like, "No, what are you-- What are you talking about?" and then they pulled the car over, and I was like, "Oh shit."
Rob: “I have-- I actually have that $20 that you-- The aforementioned $20 bill, I have.”
Glenn: “You know what, sir? Uh, I just realized I do have that. Uh, is there any way that that's all you're gonna take from me?”
Glenn: Um, you know, yeah. And same thing, they pulled out a knife and uh, and uh, you know, I-I-I remember-- I-I distinctly remember I pulled my wallet out and I opened it, cause it was a wallet where you could see the cash on the inside, and I pulled because I was like, I don't want them to take my wallet, I've got to replace my license, replace my credit cards, it's gonna be a whole thing. So I just very-- Like, I showed them, took all the cash out, and was like, boom. And I'd just gone to the fucking ATM man. There was-- Like they got like 300 bucks off me. It was a good-- It was a good get. It was a good get. And then- and then, it wasn't until afterwards that it like really dawned on me. I'm like, "Man, what if that had been like a- like an initiation type situation?" You know what I mean? Where it was like, not really about let's-let's get their money, but also like, yo, this guy's being- he's being initiated into you know, this gang and so he has to stab you, you know? Maybe there's even an apology that goes before the stabbing. He's like, "I'm sorry, man, my friend has to stab you." which would've made it maybe slightly better. [laughter] You know what I mean? It's like, we don't have a choice here. We don't have a choice here.
Meg: Worse, worse, worse right?
Rob: There's a reason for it.
Meg: That would be worse, cause if you knew it was coming, I'd rather be stabbed without knowing it was coming. Right?
Glenn: Right, a sudden stab. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, you're right.
Meg: If he's like, "Sorry, I'm about to stab you."
Glenn: Yeah, you're like, "Oh, shit." Yeah, you're anticipating it, yeah.
Charlie: That's like that amazing-- Speaking of Spielberg who always comes in here and he's got that amazing scene in Saving Private Ryan where the guy is like just, "No, no, don't do this. You don't have to stab me. Don't-- Like don't-- Like let's just go our separate ways."
Charlie: And he was like “No, man, I got to do this. I got to stab you.”
Rob: I wonder what that was like shooting that. Where-- What-what do you think it was like shooting that scene? We should talk-- We should find out from Steven. Can you find out if Steven's around?
Charlie: A guy standing over him going like-- “Someone's gonna get stabbed.”
Rob: Meg, do you wanna see if Steven's around and we can--Seems forced.
Glenn: You don't wanna force it. You just got to let it happen. He never-- He-- You can't schedule him. He's like, you know, he's out and about doing his thing, and then every once in a while you get lucky and he pops in. You know what I mean?
Rob: Okay. Yeah, I get it.
Glenn: You can't-- You just can't force it.
Meg: Can I ask you guys a question? So let's say you arrived for the podcast today, and you know how I come a little bit early to like get set up?
Meg: You came in and the door is locked, and you find out that I've been taken hostage, and that the hostage taker wants to talk to one of you. So who among you do you think is the best hostage negotiator?
Glenn: Are we talking through the door? Are we coming in? I guess it doesn't matter that much, but-
Meg: Uh, let's say you're coming in, but only one of you.
Glenn: So-so basically, he's got you in this room, you're- he's holding you hostage, and he- and we're out there and he's calling out saying, "I need to talk to one of you."
Meg: But you guys get to pick who you're sending in.
Glenn: Right, who's the one?
Rob: I'm sending in Charlie.
Charlie: Well, I would say, you know, you and Rob spend the most time together with the extra work you guys do on Mythic Quests, and I have to be at El Segundo by 11:30. [laughter]
Charlie: So-so, I'm probably say Rob and hit the road just so I could beat the traffic.
Rob: Well, the traffic's bad. I mean--
Charlie: The traffic's bad. I feel like it would be– the 405, it's Super Bowl Sunday, it's gonna be hard to get down there.
Glenn: If you're from LA you can understand this.
Charlie: Yeah, Rob, why don't you hop in there and then I'm gonna- I'm gonna get a head start on my commute. That way I can get or have a little bite to eat before we, you know, get started.
Glenn: I'll tell you what though, if you need me to call in, I'll call- I'll call you from the road, right
Charlie: Uh, no, I think to-- Okay, but to honestly answer your question to like have a rational conversation to like de-escalate the situation, I think I'm a good de-escalator.
Rob: Yeah, I think I'm with Charlie.
Charlie: I think I'm good at understanding people's needs and wants and trying to communicate to those specifically and talk-talk someone down.
Charlie: From a crazy sitch.
Charlie: But uh, you know, I don't know. God forbid, I don't wanna be in that situation, you know what I mean?
Meg: Who do you think would be the worst negotiator of the three of you?
Charlie: You know--
Charlie: I think Glenn.
Rob: I think Glenn. I think--
Charlie: I think you would be-- You would be irritated with the person. You'd be like, "Okay sir--"
Glenn: No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, hold on a second. Let's look at-- Let's look at the three of us and the relationship that we've had over the last 15 years.
Glenn: And think about all the arguments that you two have gotten into.
Rob: That's true.
Glenn: And guess who's right in the middle of it going, "I hear you, and I hear you. Let's find some--" I'm-I'm almost always the hostage negotiator in those situations where it's like, we can- we can-- we don't have to get-- It's-- “You're smart, you're smart, you're funny, you're funny, let's figure this out.”
Rob: I validate you.
Glen: Yeah, I know. But that's-- It-it's a lot-- It is a lot of that. It's like, it's-it's validating.
Charlie: I don't know. I feel like I've been in the middle of plenty of arguments this way.
Rob: Okay, well, we can agree that I would not be the best one. It sounds like that's what you're agreeing.
Glenn: I actually think you'd be great.
Rob: Well, look at this.
Glenn: I-I-I-I-I think you'd-- I think you'd be great.
Charlie: You know what? I think to- for the greatest success, all three of us got to talk and-and-and weigh in with our opinions.
Glenn: That's right, yeah.
Charlie: And we start arguing with each other so much that the hostage-- The-the, you know, hostage guy, what do you call the-
Meg: Hostage taker.
Glenn: Hostage guy, yeah.
Charlie: The hostage taker? That's it? We don't have a better word for that?
Glenn: Yeah, there's gotta be a bet–
Meg: I mean, it depends on what he's doing. Is he-- Is he trying to rob a bank? ‘Cause then he'd be like a robber.
Meg: But if he was just taking hostages.
Rob: Hans-Hans Gruber would be a terrorist, but then it turned out that he wasn't a terrorist.
Charlie: The hostee? The hostee?
Meg: The hostager.
Charlie: The hostager? There's got to be be a-- There's got to be word for it.
Glenn: What were you gonna say about Hans Gruber?
Rob: Well, in the movie Die Hard, which-- In the movie that we're parodying with Frank there, Die Hard, Hans Gruber, they think he is uh, a terrorist at-at first because he has like political prisoners that he puts on his list of demands. But it turns out he's not. He's just a thief.
Glen: Yeah. Yeah, good stuff.
Rob: He transitions from--
Glenn: No I'm serious, it's a great movie.
Charlie: Yeah, that's a good movie. Holds up.
Rob: Great movie, totally holds up.
Charlie: Um, Glenn, you and your underwear when you- when you de-robed was a good solid laugh for me.
Charlie: Just the way you're kind of holding your body, and the size underwear that we-we depict, and your willingness to just like make that funny, you know what I mean?
Charlie: Like was awesome.
Glenn: Yeah, I-I remember I was talking about how we- all-all-all of us acknowledging that it would be funnier if they were tighty whities. Funnier if they were you know, if they were pulled up a little too high, you know what I mean? And then-- And then-- Then as far as the posture goes, there was just something funny about like shoulders back.
Glenn: Shoulders back, like, you know, just-- It-it-- There's something sort of like serpentine about it or so, I don't know.
Glenn: But like yeah, I-I do remember like sort of very specifically like picking that look and just knowing like that-that-that there was- there was gonna be something funny about it. I also do enjoy that I say that like I want her inside me.
Rob: Yeah, I like when you tell her that, we're in love now and like we've done it. Now it's time to do the thing.
Glenn: Yeah, now we do the thing where you get me out of here.
Charlie: I did like that part.
Glenn: Yeah, I enjoyed that too. I also enjoyed-- I also enjoyed your-your scene with Frank. I-I liked the hand-- I remember having this conversation with you.
Rob: Yeah, the conversation about which way the hands would go.
Glenn: Yes, I remember having this conversation with you. We were doing the scene. We were working on the scene and I just- I-I had this vision of like old horror films.
Charlie: Vampire movies.
Glenn: Yes, old like Dracula movies from like back in the day, and their hands were-were always like-- It was like this-- You know, one was up and forward, and one arm was down.
Charlie: Oh, sweet.
Glenn: And so it was like this, like this wicked kind of thing, and uh, I'm very glad we did that.
Charlie: We never- we never went back up into that bad room, did we?
Charlie: We-we kind of ditched that.
Glenn: No, we should explore that again, yeah.
Charlie: At one point we, in Mac and Charlie die, we're kind of in the guts of the building again, above-
Glenn: You're in the vents.
Charlie: -above the bar in the vents and stuff, but we're never again--
Glenn: Yeah, and you're on the roof.
Charlie: And there's so many rooms above that bar. We're never up there.
Glenn: Mm, Okay.
Rob: Yes, and don't we say in the episode that we're going to the bar of -- That we're going to the roof of Patty's. He says, "We're going up to the roof." but we don't go up to the roof. We go up to the roof of the building next door to us.
Glenn: Next door. Yeah.
Charlie: Which is kind of a fun mislead so when it drops. You know that-that-
Rob: Yes, of course.
Charlie: -that joke lands, but
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie: But-but the reason we did it was because we weren't allowed on the roof of that building and we were allowed on the roof of the building next to it.
Glenn: Well, is-is the Patty's building like too-- It's too high up, right? It's like higher up.
Rob: It's very high up.
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: He-- And he would've died.
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah.
Rob: The character would've died.
Glenn: I got a question for you guys. What-what was the genesis of-- I don't remember what the Genesis of this episode was.
Charlie: I would see about this-- I bet that this is a situation where we had a card on the board that said Stockholm syndrome.
Charlie: And that someone thought it was funny.
Glenn: 100%. That is it. No, that is what happened.
Charlie: Is it? Yeah-
Glenn: That is absolutely what happened.
Charlie: -I was gonna say, Someone was like, Stockholm syndromes a funny thing to--
Glenn: And that was Lisa- I think that was Lisa Parson's idea.
Charlie: I think you're right, yeah.
Glenn: I think that was her idea.
Charlie: And 'cause I felt like we were leaning really hard in the episode to like explain Stockholm syndrome and talk-- And I was like, uh, we're-we're overdoing that, but it's fine.
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah.
Rob: There's a- there's a bunch of exposition and we lean into it by having the other character being like-- They-- In fact, you do it in the bathroom where you're like, "So what's going on?" And I start to explain it and you're like, "Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. I'm bored. I'm bored. I bored. I'm bored. I don't care." And then I just like break it down very simply.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's some good shit. Yeah, I mean, you had some interesting exposition in the very first scene in the back office when you-you're-you're-you're essentially, you're trying to explain to the audi-- Like you're basically, the au-- It's like somewhere along the way somebody went, “the audience is gonna wonder why he's gotta go up there to actually get the will when he could just sit down with a lawyer and redraft a new version.”
Glenn: And, so you actually have that conversation with him.
Glenn: “Frank, why don't you just sit down with a lawyer and, you know, have him redraft the–” Then he's like, "Don't-don't ask don't ask too many questions.
Rob: Don't ask too many questions.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Rob: Don't ask too many questions 'cause it doesn't matter. The audience-- Basically, the audience doesn't care.
Rob: Just get him up into the God damn--
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. That's right.
Glenn: But you're shutting down-- That's shutting- that's shutting down that one guy in the audience who was like, "Wait, why is he doing this?"
Charlie: Rob, how did we do the fart in your face? Were you looking into my butt?
Glenn: He didn't have his undies down, did he? Were you looking at his asshole?
Rob: No, I don't think you had your-your undies down. I don't think. I don't think so.
Glenn: God, that would've been great. You weren't staring at his actual asshole?
Rob: I just remember what was great was that I--
Charlie: How the hell else then do you see this side of my butt cheek like that?
Rob: I didn't- I didn't look again. I didn't look so, 'cause maybe I was.
Charlie: You must have been looking directly into my butt.
Rob: But I def- I definitely remember in the edit. 'Cause I couldn't see your face. But like your face is the funniest part of-of it.
Charlie: The enjoyment--
Rob: The enjoyment of the audience knowing that like what--
Charlie: See-seeing that side.
Rob: Yes, and then whatever it was, we had an idea where-- Yeah. Like-
Rob: -you wouldn't see me and then I would like--
Charlie: Oh, yeah, right, right.
Rob: I duck my head out, you know, for a line and then come back in. I know that's in the bloopers too.
Glenn: Very-- I'm very happy with the fart noise that we chose. The squeaky kind of--
Charlie: It worked out pretty good.
Glenn: The squeaky airy one rather than a- than a rumbling one.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. [laughs] It's always interesting. And whenever like the idea of like putting a fart in comes up, you see Rob go. You know, there's just this part of you is like, you-you-you don't like it, but you recognize that it's funny-
Glenn: -and you know where it's needed and you're willing to do it, but you don't really like it. 'Cause part of you doesn't like it.
Charlie: Normally, a fart joke is pretty damn lazy and not so great-
Charlie: -but in this, it's a good setup for a fart joke. It's a good--
Charlie: A fart as revenge is-
Charlie: -funnier than just a fart.
Rob: As a weapon.
Glenn: But also as you say in the episode, you're like, "And we might die and I never got to fart your face before."
Charlie: That's right.
Glenn: So this is something he's been harboring
Charlie: It's not only revenge, it's wish fulfillment.
Glenn: Yeah, it's wish fulfillment.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: So you've been-been, you know, fantasizing about for a very long time and you've never gotten to do it and you're like--
Charlie: I never got to do it, and yeah.
Glenn: I think that was improvised some of that. I don't think that was in the script. I don't know. I don't- I don't remember for sure, but--
Rob: Also at the-- At the very end, um, when-- And just like every episode, uh, at this time period, we just end it, um, just so abruptly and we-we realize there's no police outside and we're like, "What-what is this? What was all this?" And all he says is, "Nobody messes with the McPoyles.”
Rob: And that was it. That was the whole point of the entire episode.
Glenn: We should have-- We should-- We probably should have put in something about like, "This is from-- This is for-
Rob: “This is for Doyle.”
Glen: This is for this is for Doyle.”
Glenn: So that people knew what the fuck revenge it was.
Charlie: Well, it was only two episodes earlier.
Glenn: That's true.
Charlie: Um, I will say that I caught that too, where I was like, "Oh, we were connecting things-
Charlie: -in this season-
Charlie: -which we didn't really do again for quite some time. Oh, like a little bits here and there but1 you know, we're connecting the wheel and Barbara dying and where the money's gonna go, and--
Glenn: That's right. Yeah, yeah. No, I-I like that. I mean, there-there should be a little bit of continuity to that- to that story, especially when there's like big life things that-that happen. I mean, especially the--
Charlie: But then we got into like a thing just for the listener at home that we would make the episodes and then the network would kind of weigh in, "Oh, we want this one to go first and this one." And so we started to lean away from connecting them too much just in case one came out great. And we weren't opposed to their approach.
Glenn: They always wanted to front-load the best episodes because they figured that was the best way to continue to build the audience.
Charlie: It's gonna get the most viewers and yeah, they weren't wrong, right? So if we made 10 and one was amazing, we're like, "Yeah, well, let's get it in the first one or two, you know?"
Charlie: But, um--
Rob: I-I think we also got a great note from them after this episode, which I remember they-they liked, but then it was also around the same time that we started talking about the, which I believe is the next episode. When's-when's the one where, um, where you guys pretend to be cops making a mess bo-- um, bombs making a mess, something like that.
Charlie: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: Right, that's coming up. That's the season.
Glenn: It's gotta be coming up. Yeah, I can't remember.
Rob: And-and we did like a Serpico thing. And I remember like that script-- They had gotten that script and then they had gotten this one and they were like, "Could you-- You guys are now starting to parody things?" Like, which is fine.
Charlie: Yeah, don't do too much parody.
Rob: Don't too much- don't do too much parody because if the show lasts for a long time and isn't syndication, it's not gonna play as well. And if it's Die hard great. And if it's Serpico, great because those are big- those are classics. But we do kinda get into like parodying things later on that-- And we do it again with American Idol, which I have to ima-- I have to imagine is gonna feel dated.
Glenn: That shit's just still on, buddy.
Rob: Yeah, but it's not like the cultural juggernaut that it was at the time. And so--
Glenn: Not at all. No, but there's about 500,000 competition-competition shows out there where it's people sitting behind a table judging.
Rob: Totally, but we're doing- we're actually imitating those people.
Glenn: The actual characters, yeah.
Rob: We could talk about that when we- when we get there, but--
Charlie: That's right.
Rob: But yeah, I think it was a good move to not-
Rob: -to not parody so much
Glenn: Speak-speaking of parodying though, one of my favorite lines in this episode, [chuckles] and I-I do love that we did this is, uh, is when Danny pulls the gun out and says-
Charlie: “Yipee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon.”
Glenn: “-Yipee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon.” Yes.
Glenn: Which for those in the know was, you know, so clearly Frank had seen the made-for or the edited-for TV version of Die hard because the actual line in the movie is “Yipee-ki-yay, motherfucker.” And you can't say that on tv so the TV edit was “Yipee-ki-yay Mr. Falcon.”
Glenn: “Mr. Falcon.”
Charlie: And it was like a different voice. Like it wasn't Bruce Willis. So it was like, “Yipee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon.”
Charlie: It was like the-- Like, you know, the engineer like, was like, "Oh, shit, we missed one line. He never said--" Oh, I-I got it.
Glenn: “Uh, lemme-- I can do it.”
Charlie: “I'll do it. Mr. Falcon.”
Charlie: Said it too close to the mic and--
Glenn: Yeah, “yipee-ki-yay Mr. Falcon.” I just wonder how that's- there's gotta be a better substitute for motherfucker than” Mr. Falcon.”
Charlie: There isn't. That's the greatest.
Glenn: I-I wonder if you could-- Not even Mother Falcon. Like it could have been a Mother Falcon. You know.
Rob: I do like the decision at the time that was like, we can't cut this out. It is the-- It-- This is the-that premier line.
Rob: This is the signature line of the movie.
Glenn: That's right.
Rob: So we can't cut it out but we gotta mix it up.
Rob: And then they made that decision probably last minute. And it was “Mr. Falcon.” Does that cut exist somewhere?
Charlie: Oh, God.
Rob: It has to, right?
Charlie: What on earth can you say that's not mother fucker in that situation?
Glenn: Mother trucker.
Glenn: Mother sucker. Mm.
Glenn: That doesn't sound good either.
Charlie: So they won't let you do it. They won't let you do it.
Glenn: Mr. Su--
Speaker: Yipee-ki-yay Mr. Falcon.
Glenn: Oh, yeah, yeah right. It's a different voice.
Rob: Wait, can we hear that again?
Charlie: You're right. A whole different thing.
Speaker: Yipee-ki-yay Mr. Falcon.
Glenn: You're right. It was the sound mixer. It was the sound mixer was who was editing--
Charlie: And the guy mopping up is like, "Oh, shit. They haven't said this one yet. Mr. Falcon.
Glenn: Holy shit, man, you've got a good memory that you remember that that was like, that-that there was something off about the accent too.
Charlie: Well, that was just, yeah, that one- that one stuck.
Glenn: That one stuck.
Charlie: I don't have a good memory
Meg: I was gonna say-- as we’ve established.
Charlie: As we've clearly established.
Glenn: Well, uh, can we also talk about the fact that, uh, after he says “Yipee-ki-yay Mr. Falcon.” and pulls the gun out, he is holding a revolver, which presumably only carries at-at most six shots. He fires that gun. I think I counted 13 times. There's 13 gunshots that come out of that thing.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah. I don't know how-- I don't know if we just-- I don't know if we got in there and we were just like, "Meh, fuck it." It's like, it needs to keep going in order for us to edit the sequence the way we wanna edit it.
Charlie: I think I have a vague memory of that exact thing where we're like, he needs to keep doing it for the--
Glenn: To give Ryan the time to like, have to end it.
Glenn: Start to fall off the building.
Charlie: Oh, I think you were talking about in Die hard.
Glenn: No, no, no.
Rob: Oh, in our show?
Glenn: No, no. In our--
Rob: Oh, who gives a shit?
Rob: I mean, we've established that the-the-there's no rules, right?
Glenn: No rules.
Rob: Like, I think in Die- in Diehard.
Rob: Because that would've been--
Charlie: [sings]” What are the rules?”
Rob: Yeah. We'll get to that one too.
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know--
Charlie: For like--
Rob: Not for a while.
Charlie: Months and months and months.
Glenn: Not for some time, yeah.
Glenn: Uh, what else about this episode, guys? Or what if-- What-what-what else are you mad about? You-you know, daylight savings style. Are there any other time-related issues that you wanna talk about? Like, uh--
Charlie: I'm looking forward to it being brighter longer. You know.
Rob: Everybody is.
Glenn: When do we spring forward?
Charlie: Because we can't get rid of the sun with the-- And the sun is just--
Rob: No matter how much Glen hates it, we have to embrace it.
Glenn: It just-- Does this happen to you guys? And, you know, I-- So, it-- I don't like the sun when it's on me and I'm not intending to do something that-- like if I'm at the beach and the sun is on me, of course, I'm like, "Yeah, oh, nice, cool," you know, or if I'm like super cold and the sun's warming me up, but if I'm in a situation where, you know, like I'm standing around and-and the fucking sun's just on me and I'm like, I'm just trying to have a conversation or I'm like, you know, doing something in the yard or something and the sun's on me [chuckles] I don't like it.
Rob: You get angry.
Glenn: It pisses me up, like it actually heats me up. Like, I get-- Like, I-I get-- I'm like, "Get the fucking off me. Get the fuck off me." It drives me crazy. It actually fucking-- Is this- is this-- Am I the only one?
Rob: No, no. I had a- I had a similar experience, like, I don't know, it's 10 years ago when- when we were getting into surfing or seeing if we can learn how to surf and we were in Venice and I remember I was just terrible and I couldn't get it and I was just getting killed by waves, and I remember at one point I just turned and a wave was coming in that was- that was, like, about to crash on me and I just fucking pun--
Glenn: Punched it.
Charlie: Punched it, [laughs] like, and like, which I know is like ridiculous and then I was so pissed off that I was angry at the ocean.
Charlie: What if the wave was dissolved, it just dissolved–
Glenn: It worked.
Rob: But I remember being like, this is a- this is a real concern because you are now angry at the ocean, and-and look, the ocean's gonna win.
Glenn: Well, by the way--
Charlie: Yeah, ocean wins.
Rob: Ocean wins.
Charlie: Ocean wins.
Glenn: Our ancestors, you know, they would've said, well it's not-- you know, they would've been mad at Poseidon.
Glenn: You know, for sending that wave-
Rob: For sending that wave.
Glenn: -that you couldn't surf, you know. So you could've- you could've punched the wave and said, "Damn you Poseidon, or Triton, or whoever's in charge of the ocean."
Rob: Which would've made me feel a little bit better.
Glenn: Right. Yeah.
Charlie: Which Dennis Reynolds at some point should definitely-
Charlie: punch away and say, "Damn you Poseidon."
Glenn: Damn you Poseidon. Yeah, blame it on Poseidon. I do--
Charlie: Final wave. Damn you Poseidon.
Rob: We should do an episode when we travel to Hollywood. I feel like that would be a really fun episode. The gang goes to Hollywood or something like that.
Glenn: We should. We should, maybe we're going to pitch a TV show idea. Our characters are gonna pitch an idea, you know, we got an idea for something and we decide, we're like--
Rob: You can watch it in real time. You could rewind Charlie, me pitching at Glen, kind of, yes ending and Charlie just being like, "Nah."
Charlie: I'll say-- I'll spare you guys that.
Glenn: Yeah. Well, we should go somewhere where we- where we can go get-- Well, we could go back to the shore, I guess, but we've already done that.
Charlie: I know.
Glenn: You know what I mean, but there's- there is something about-- I'm just trying to figure out how to get that scene in there because I do think it would be funny to punch a wave and call out to, you know, be angry at Poseidon and that is- that is pretty fucking funny.
Rob: Or angry at the sun.
Glenn: Hey, speaking of- speaking of, uh, sea gods, um, isn't it interesting that Aquaman, uh, has a- a, what are those things called? A-a--
Glenn: A Trident, but it's got like six prongs on it.
Rob: It doesn't have three?
Glenn: No, it's like a- it's like a--
Charlie: A sixtant.
Glenn: Yeah, a sextant.
Charlie: A septant? No, that's seven. Fish.
Glenn: It's a pentadant. No. Yeah.
Charlie: He's stabbing more fish to eat. Does he eat fish? Is he--
Glenn: He is a-- No, he's not.
Rob: Well, he's-- No. No.
Charlie: He's part fish, but fish eat fish.
Glenn: No, he talks to-- Mm, shit. Yeah, but I don't think he's a predatory fish. I think he-he talks to-- he communicates--
Charlie: He's fish food. He's those little flakes on the top of the ocean.
Charlie: Swims up and just--
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, you feed- you feed him the same way you'd feed a goldfish.
Charlie: I have not seen Aquaman and I don't think I will.
Glenn: It's great. But he's--
Charlie: Like-like Spider-Man. Like--
Glenn: Yeah, it's good. I haven't seen the most recent one.
Charlie: I know. Is it the same story?
Charlie: He's in high school and he gets bit by his spider?
Rob: It's not an origin story.
Glenn: Why are all of the new Spider-Man movies about him being, you know, whatever distance he is from his- from his home?
Rob: Yeah. Homecoming. Far from Home.
Glenn: Yeah. Far from Home, like, I can't get home.
Glenn: I'm not home now, but call me later.
Charlie: Eight legs and you can't make your way home?
Glenn: [chuckles] You should be able to get home eight times faster.
Charlie: When is he going to have eight legs?
Glenn: Four times faster.
Charlie: He always has two.
Glenn: Well, yeah. No, I always thought it would be funny to- to do a movie about somebody that gets bit by radioactive spider, starts to get all the powers of a spider and it's all good, but then he never stops turning into a spider. I guess that's what The Fly is about.
Rob: That's The Fly.
Charlie: That's The Fly.
Glenn: Well, but he never has any-- he never has any cool power.
Rob: Yes, he does. He's crazy strong. Remember, he's just like crazy strong and then he's like very virile and women find him attractive 'cause he's half fly, for some reason, and then-- He touched me again. He touched me again.
Glenn: I love you buddy.
Rob: I like it.
Charlie: Is that what the expression-expression looking fly came from? [laughs].
Glenn: [laughs] I believe so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Rob: Yeah and then- and then the real turn- the real turn happens and then he can, like- then he's like--
Glenn: Well, then he can throw up on stuff. He can- he can digest-digest things outside of his body. That's a cool power.
Rob: Well, it was like acid like burns him.
Glenn: See, that's a power I would like.
Charlie: And Jeff Goldblum. What a choice. Jeff Goldblum.
Glenn: What if I could just literally just throw up on my food--
Charlie: Oh, you could do that.
Glenn: No, but have it- have that then dissolve the food so I don't have to chew it and then I can just, you know, slurp it up. That'd be cool If I could metabolize sugar the way Jeff Goldblum's character can in The Fly, that'd be pretty sweet, right, to be able to metabolize sugar that well? Go ahead. What are those- what are those other powers?
Rob: That's it.
Rob: And-and then it starts to--
Glenn: It get's dark.
Rob: Then it goes- then it goes dark where he turns into a fucking fly, like a legit fly and then he is begging-- Do you remember the end of that movie? So good. Where he holds the-- The guy's got the shotgun.
Glenn: Yeah, and he--
Charlie: Now, I barely remember Fly. I just remember him like--
Rob: If it was his-- Who-who's the, um, female, the love interest, 'cause she wasn't a- she wasn't a protagonist.
Glen: It was Gina- Gina Davis.
Rob: Gina Davis, right?
Rob: So I- it might be Gina Davis who at the end is like shooting a shotgun and then she puts it up and like she lo-lowers it and he's like almost defeated and he picks up the shotgun and puts it to his head.
Rob: Like he wants to be killed.
Glenn: And then David Cronenberg was like, "Well now we have to show it."
Rob: Yeah. Yeah.
Glenn: 'cause he's David Cronenberg and that- that fly head just fucking explodes. He's got a thing for exploding heads that David Crow- David Cronenberg, doesn't he?
Charlie: Why didn't they just get a big wall of like a sweet-smelling sticky paper-
Charlie: -and just stick it under that.
Glenn: Just some fly paper.
Charlie: Some fly paper.
Glenn: Yeah, he wouldn't be able to resist.
Rob: Does he have the mind-- 'cause he- 'cause he has a mind of a man and the body of a fly, or does his mind also start turning into the mind of a fly?
Glenn: Well, he has the mind of a man, but the desires of a fly. Does that make sense?
Glenn: So he can think like a man, but his desires of- as is often the case with a man, is his desires take over and he can't control himself. So yes, he would go straight to that fly paper.
Charlie: So your mind and your desires are somehow disconnected?
Glenn: Well, I'm not saying mine are, I'm saying all men are.
Rob: As a fly.
Glenn: And that's a fact- and that's a fact. Cut that.
Meg: Can I- can I take this opportunity to hold you guys hostage and ask you some questions from Reddit?
Glenn: You're so on theme.
Meg: I know.
Glenn: You're so on theme. I love it.
Charlie: What makes us sound organized?
Glenn: You're gonna ask us?
Meg: So I put a post on Reddit asking people for questions that they wanted to ask you on the podcast and I have–
Glenn: You sneaky devil.
Meg: -and I have a couple of 'em.
Meg: You guys wanna answer?
Meg: We'll do a lightning round, um, what's the story behind the backwards talking audio clip at the end of each episode?
Charlie: Why do we do it backwards?
Rob: No idea.
Glenn: I think it was an arbitrary decision. I think- I think we thought it was funny to make a brown joke and then we were like--
Rob: No, the first one was-- the first one wasn't brown.
Glenn: What was the first one?
Rob: You're stupid for playing this forward.
Glenn: Oh, that's what it was.
Rob: We really wanted to dig in on like telling the audience they were dumb.
Glenn: They were idiots.
Meg: For watching.
Charlie: Whatever, it was like a little joke, a little prank.
Glenn: It was a prank and then it became a theme.
Charlie: It was a prank and then it became a theme.
Meg: Who has this Dennis sex doll? Where is it?
Glenn: Oh, where is that? I don't know.
Meg: Are you worried about [laughs] not knowing where that is?
Charlie: You know, that's an expensive prop. Wasn't that a super expensive prop to have made?
Rob: We wanted it- we wanted it done- made really well.
Charlie: No, but--
Glenn: Somebody's got it.
Charlie: No, but we reached out to--
Glenn: I don't like to think about that.
Charlie: I don't think it was a sex doll though, right?
Rob: No. No.
Charlie: Like wasn't it-- So we reached out to a sex doll company--
Glenn: You could treat it like one.
Charlie: And it was too expensive.
Rob: That was way too expensive.
Charlie: That was way too expensive to actually make it, uh, an actual doll.
Charlie: It was also too-- Like those things were like too heavy.
Charlie: I think- I think if you have one of those, you got like, put it on like a little dolly cart to move it around and we had scenes where we were like carrying it and, you know, so we--
Rob: We had just the props department.
Charlie: Yeah. We just built like a dummy and then--
Glenn: Put a real-looking head.
Charlie: Did you do a cast for your head? Like a mold? Like--
Glenn: Um, no, actually I think I probably should have 'cause that probably would've been better but, um, what they actually did was they did some sort of like a, I don't know, 3D, like I remember I had to just sit like this and they did like a thing that went around my head.
Rob: A 3D scan.
Glenn: Yeah, like a 3D scan. Yeah and then- and then I did it with different facial expressions and then they- and then it looked like someone else.
Charlie: If you had it, would you fuck it?
Glenn: I most definitely would not.
Charlie: Too bad.
Glenn: I could tell you that for absolute certain.
Meg: Uh, who has the duster? Does anybody--
Charlie: Probably in the-
Rob: In the wardrobe.
Charlie: In a wardrobe warehouse with all our other costumes.
Rob: It's all being, um, held for the Smithsonian at some point. I mean--
Glenn: Yeah, from what I understand, we've gotten many letters from the Smithsonian like, "When can we get our hands on this?" And- and we're like, "Oh no, we're still doing the show." They're like, "You are? Okay. Jesus, let us know when you're done. Christ Almighty."
Meg: The last question is, um, any episode ideas that you guys wanted to do and FX just said flat out no?
Charlie: No. No. No.
Glenn: I don't think so.
Rob: I don't think so.
Glenn: No, they've been great partners.
Charlie: They've never--
Glenn: I mean, no. No?
Glenn: What was the deal with the-the-the episode-- What was the episode that we did in season, I-I can't remember, was it season six? Yeah, season six that we scrapped and why did we scrap it? You remember? And then we--
Rob: Oh yeah, And which we then turned into--
Glenn: And then we turned it into--
Rob: Yeah. I don't remember--
Charlie: It was one with the avatar. Like we had avatars for ourselves.
Rob: And the other storyline.
Charlie: I don't remember what the other storyline was.
Glenn: But the reason was because we thought it didn't work, and we scrapped it, right? I mean, it wasn't.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. FX didn't wanna scrap it. They were like--
Glenn: “We spent a lot of money on this.”
Rob: No, but then (indistinct) advertise it over the course of the next season, yeah.
Charlie: And we said yeah, we'll work it in too. You won't waste your money.
Rob: Yeah, they've let us do whatever we want.
Charlie: They've been good partners.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah.
Charlie: They've been good, creative, and professional.
Glenn: Sorry, I wish we had a more fun answer for that.
Charlie: Yeah, sorry, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: Cut that.
Meg: They also ask that since you guys are doing the video podcast now, are they gonna see dong? There was that question asked a few times.
Rob: A few times?
Charlie: There's a dong right up there in the wall.
Meg: Oh, that's true.
Charlie: How much dong you need?
Rob: You might see a ding from time to time, I don't know.
Glenn: Yeah, this room's pretty cold, you're gonna get more ding than dong.
Charlie: I mean yeah, this room is freezing. They are all just dings right now.
Glenn: It doesn't matter how much of a dong you got.
Charlie: Why is it cold, man?
Glenn: I don't know.
Charlie: It's freezing in here.
Rob: That's the way they keep things--
Glenn: I like that shirt, I like that shirt. I love that one, looks sharp.
Charlie: I'm going on another--
Rob: Oh, you got some press to do?
Charlie: Some press to do.
Rob: When does the movie come out? When do you have a movie coming out?
Charlie: It's out, my movie's out, and by the time people hear this it's out. Rave reviews, pal.
Rob: Oh really?
Glenn: My dad saw it.
Rob: He did?
Glenn: He did.
Charlie: That’s sweet of your dad to watch it.
Glenn: Yeah, he saw it almost right away. He texted me ad said I really enjoyed it, and then I forward that onto Charlie to, you know, big his head up.
Charlie: It's good, I'm happy with it. It's, you know, that's funny, big his head up. I did like, uh, Mary Elizabeth showed me an email the other day that my mom had sent to her. She was like, and she wrote on it, "Really enjoyed Charlie in--" I was on the Kelly Clarkson show and I sang Midnight Train to Georgia or whatever. She's like, "Really enjoyed his performance, but don't tell him. I don't want his head to get too big." And I just sunned up.
Rob: Wow. Now, we're getting into something.
Glenn: Now we're getting into something, yeah.
Rob: That's the whole reason you're-
Charlie: Isn't that--
Rob: -youre probably a performer.
Charlie: Isn't that amazing?
Rob: That's the whole reason, That's it, that's distilled.
Charlie: It could have been a joke, but I don't think--
Rob: Your mom's not funny.
Charlie: No, she ain't funny. She ain't funny, my dad's funny, but mom, she ain't funny.
Glenn: Yeah, she's lovely, but I don't know her to be funny.
Charlie: Not that funny, yeah, yeah.
Rob: Let's get her on the podcast.
Charlie: Oh, no.
Rob: I wanna ask her about that.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Glenn: Yeah, I wonder why--
Charlie: What's that all about, huh?
Glenn: I don't know. I mean, my mom grew up around parents who were very like, don't talk about yourself, always be humble. Almost to the point of like, if you want something, don't ask for it. If you need something, don't ask for it. Act Like everything's okay all the time.
Charlie: Yes, yes.
Glenn: So like my grandmother--
Charlie: Yes, that's the same thing. It's like it's a withholding kind of thing, which is like not too much pleasure, not too much disappointment.
Charlie: Let's never get out of the comfort zone of neutral 'cause that this is safe, and anything beyond that is potentially, you know, risky.
Glenn: Let’s stay–
Charlie: Yeah, love.
Glenn: Yeah, no, let's stay here because this is dangerous.
Charlie: This is dangerous. This is dangerous.
Glenn: 'Cause it's always gonna end in-- Yeah.
Glenn: If you never go for this, you're-you're less likely to get to this.
Charlie: For the listener, you're lifting your hand up and down, highs and lows.
Glenn: Highs and lows.
Charlie: High is dangerous, low is also dangerous. Let's stay even.
Charlie: I will say just to not totally throw my mom under the bus that she did eventually email me and say that, but it may have only been because Mary Elizabeth emailed her back and be like, you should probably tell him that.
Glenn: You should tell your son. You should tell your son how much you enjoyed his work.
Charlie: Yeah, that's what she did.
Glenn: Yeah, but she did tell you--
Charlie: God bless her.
Glenn: Yeah, do you think she was writing it like this? Like, ah.
Glenn: You know what I mean? Just like–
Charlie: She's like pained having to type it?
Charlie: No, no, no.
Rob: Well what about just calling you and like saying it, as opposed to typing it? I don't know.
Charlie: It's a- it's a whole thing.
Charlie: It's a whole East coast thing, man.
Glenn: Yeah. My mom doesn't like holding the phone up to her ear. I'm like just get headphones, man. Like, she's like, “Man, this fucking hurts my neck to hold the phone up so that's why I never call you.”
Charlie: That's why episodes with our characters' parents are so goddamned funny, 'cause the parent-child relationship is hilarious.
Glenn: It's hilarious. It is hilarious.
Charlie: 'Cause there's a lot of stuff in there
Glenn: Oh, yeah, a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff. A lot of fun stuff in there.
Charlie: Especially my mom on the show. Like how she always annoys my character, it's really funny.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah. And how your mom is by far the worst, and yet you're like convinced that she love- like you love the shit outta your mum.
Rob: Oh, yeah.
Glenn: Absolutely adore her.
Rob: Well, because she loves me right back. Mrs. Mac loves her son, Ronald.
Glenn: “I don't give a shit.”
Charlie: “I don't give a shit.”
Glenn: That's so good, “I don't give a shit.”
Charlie: We should definitely do an episode where Mrs. Mac is trying to spray you with vinegar–
Charlie: For some reason, yeah. Well, the world where Dennis punches the wave and you're getting sprayed with-- Oh right, we gotta go to the beach.
Glenn: Yeah, you're covering yourself in vinegar to--
Charlie: We gotta go the beach.
Rob: She's like spraying it in my face to get her me away from her, but I think she's doing it to like help my tan.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, to help your tan, yeah.
Charlie: We could do one where there's like a city pool that has a wave machine so that we're like all jazzed about the wave machine. You know what I mean? And then your mom's there and she's spraying you down and you're the most excited about the wave machine, but then it turns on you, and then--
Glenn: Yeah, well, that's what I'm talking about, the high of being like, I'm so excited, I've always wanted to surf, you know what I mean? I've always wanted to get out there on those big waves, this is a great way to do it.
Glenn: You know, and then the low of discovering that the wave has far more power than you can control.
Charlie: But the only reason I'm pitching the city pool is 'cause we've already done an ocean episode, but we've already done a city pool--
Glenn: We've done a pool episode.
Rob: We've done a pool episode, and we've done a water park episode.
Charlie: We've done it all, goddammit.
Glenn: Well, I think we did it. Do we have any other questions or?
Charlie: Yeah, and get some jokes and tapped into my parent-child relationship troubles.
Glenn: I'm gonna go get in a hot tub 'cause Jesus Christ. It's cold in here.
Charlie: Okay, look at that.
Glenn: I'm gonna go get in a hot tub.