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Episode #37

Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City

I kinda want to put my finger inside your mouth.

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37. Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City

On the pod, the guys revisit Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 3, Episode 14.

Rob McElhenney: Back in the studio, everybody. Here we are, um.

Charlie Day: Yeah, um.

Glenn Howerton: We're all here. We’re all here.

Charlie: We're all here.

Rob: Yep.

Charlie: Uh.

Rob: Good to see Glenn.

Charlie: So, there's one thing that's a little bit different. I'd like to just address it right away. Rob, you-you-- Rob, you shaved your head.

Rob: I-I have.

Charlie: I had a vivid dream last night that I had shaved my own head. And it's very surreal that you walked in here with a shaved head this morning.

Rob: It could be that we have an ET-Elliot type--

Charlie: There's a psychic connection there.

Rob: Yes, yes.

Charlie: I felt the shaving of your head, and it went into my subconscious. It haunted me in my dream. Actually, I liked how it looked in my dream.

Rob: Did I feel the three beers you had at like, uh, eight o'clock?

Charlie: You might have felt them-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -and I think it was more than three.


Rob: Well, at 8:00, it was about three.

Charlie: You said three deep at 8:00?

Rob: [laughs]

Charlie: Ah. Yeah, that's probably about right.

Rob: Oh, okay.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Hey, guys. Um--

Charlie: What's up, Glenn?

Glenn: Do you wanna stick your dicks in my mouth?

Rob: Not yet, no. Maybe later.

Charlie: No I mean…Why would you say that?

Glenn: Just a thought.

Rob: Um, I-I did shave my head. [chuckles] I did have my-my head, uh, shaved for, uh, doing a-- just like Glenn, I've-- I'm doing a hair bit for a- for a role in the- in the show that I do for Apple called, Mister Quest. And we needed a-a completely new look.

Glenn: Mister Quest.

Rob: Mister--

Glenn: Mister Quest. A mystery quest.

Charlie: You're, uh, you're doing a Mister Quest thing-

Rob: A Mister Quest, yes.

Charlie: -and you shaved your head for it.

Rob: Well, yes.

Charlie: You had a reason to shave it.

Rob: I need-- I needed a new look. But also, if I'm being dead honest, I just wanted to mix it up.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Rob: I just wanted to mix it up. Sometimes, I like to do impulsive things and-

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: -shave my head.

Charlie: Yeah, man. I get it. Summer's coming you know.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Like, uh, it feels-- it's startin' to feel warm.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And you wanted a fresh start.

Rob: And also, I-- look at these, I got-- I'm wearing like, a new style of shoe, which I don't think you-you-- I've seen you wear versions of this, and they look nice.

Charlie: I have that same exact shoe, yeah.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Which like, uh, you, like a, during-during a press thing.

Rob: Sure.

Charlie: Someone-someone was like, "Hey, you'll look a little sharper in, uh, all white shoe like this."

Rob: Well, I had some- I had somebody dress me for some-some silly event. And she said-- she's a very good stylist, and she said, "No more of these, uh, Air Jordans you're wearing." I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cause you're not a 14-year-old child."

Charlie: Oh, oh.

Glenn: Hm.

Charlie: Well--

Rob: She said, "You're gonna look- you're gonna look like a guy who--" I-I like that I came in here, and you don't know if I'm gonna do a podcast or go bowling, you know-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: -at any given moment. Or a rally, some sort of rally.

Charlie: Right. Yeah, that's a problem with the shaved head.

Glenn: Yeah, for sure.

Rob: It's probably the shaved head.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: The white sneaker tells me that you're not gonna go to a rally, which is nice since I feel safer.

Glenn: The white sneaker tells me that you think- you think that you're-you're pretty soon, you're gonna be headed up to meet whoever you believe your God to be.

Rob: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Charlie: That's right. That's right.

Rob: Well, if I had like a nice little pi-- like a hairpiece in the back, that's what I was thinking might be nice.

Charlie: I saw a dad at my- at my school, uh, at-at graduation who had a little like, had a-- had shaved his head, but kept a little rattail and dyed it bright yellow.

Rob: Okay.

Charlie: And he had a big beard-

Glenn: Fantastic.

Charlie: -going on too. And it-- yeah, it looked pretty fantastic-

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: -I gotta say I couldn't do it myself, but I mean I could, but I-I would need an excuse like it's for a part.

Rob: Yeah. Now, what was his? It's just he-he-he was just going for a look? Is he a Hare Krishna 'cause that's the Hare Krishna look?

Charlie: Now, he's like an awesome chef. And he was just like, yeah, fuckin' around.

Rob: Yeah, I get it. Mix-- mixin' it up.

Charlie: It was cool. Uh, I also saw Dwayne, The Rock, Johnson.

Rob: Oh, yeah? How's Dwayne doin'?

Charlie: He looks fuckin' great, man.

Rob: Really?

Charlie: Holy shit.

Rob: Yeah. Muscular, huh?

Charlie: I feel like he works out or something.

Rob: [laughs]

Charlie: Um, I-I had a thing, this happened to me this morning. So, I went to, uh, make a piece of toast. Do you guys remember carbs?

Rob: Yeah. [laughs]

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you guys- you guys probably haven't had it in had a long time. But I was gonna have a piece of toast. And I went, I-I pulled it out. I, like put it between my teeth, and I was tying up the bag. And then, the smell of the bread was like aluminum. So, like, something in the bag was moldy.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: And I got freaked out that I had the moldy bread in my mouth, on my lips, and my tongue.

Rob: Mm.

Charlie: So, I grabbed some whiskey.

Rob: Yup, yup.

Charlie: And I swirled it around.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Just to--

Glenn: Yeah, that's the move.

Charlie: Just to kill.

Glenn: That or like vodka, something-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -to kill-kill the bad guys.

Rob: Well, wait. Let me talk about whiskey for a second because-- Todd-- So Todd Biermann, who is one of our directors on Sunny, and also Mythic Quest. I was just in a wedding-- at a wedding with him in Texas.

Charlie: Oh.

Rob: And Texas, it's a free-for-all in Texas, of course, which is what's great about Texas. And-and we-we were at this hotel--

Charlie: We've discussed Texas, sure.

Rob: Sure. And we were having a blast. And we were a packed full of people all over- all over this, uh, hotel, all over the city, really. And Todd and I then traveled back together, and we were sitting next to each other for a good four hours. And those air- airplanes are loud, so we're screaming into each other's faces, having a conversation on the way home. We also happen to be drinking bourbon because why not?

Glenn: Oh, I love sittin' next to you guys. I love sitting next to guys like you on an airplane.

Rob: Well, no. It's just--

Glenn: Screaming across the aisle at each other.

Rob: No, no. We were sitting right next to each other. And what I mean by screaming is just that the plane was loud, and we were having a conversation.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: The point I'm trying to make is that we-we were very close when we were having the conversation.

Charlie: Uh-huh.

Rob: And then-

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: -um, Todd came home and he popped hot for COVID.

Charlie: He popped hot.

Rob: Now-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: -he's supposed to be directing, um, the, uh, the episode of Mythic Quest. And that's why Meg's not here because she had to step in and direct the episode. I couldn't because I'm not allowed to set because I was in proximity to somebody who tested positive.

Charlie: Oh.

Rob: However, I've since taken three tests and I'm negative. And I'm-I'm actually going to, um, credit the bourbon with that. Now, I don't have the science to-to-to back this up, but-

Charlie: Also--

Rob: -could the bourbon have killed-killed the COVID on the way out of his mouth?

Charlie: We just don't know. There's so much we just don't know-

Rob: No.

Charlie: -you know. Um, if that was true, I did feel like the island of Ireland would've never gotten COVID. But it did, so probably not.

Rob: Did they though? I don't know.

Charlie: I don't know, maybe they didn't.

Rob: Are you be-- Are you believing the mainstream media these days, Charlie? Because--

Charlie: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Rob: Okay.

Charlie: I get all my information from my own subconscious.

Rob: Fair.

Rob: Glenn, you're lookin' great.

Glenn: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I, um, I guess I-I don't know. I just felt like wearing a collared shirt today and, um, making my mouth, so that you guys could stick your dick in it whenever you wanted. I mean, I was just that-- just like, you know, how-- when you wake up, and you have a certain feeling, you're like, "What am I gonna wear today?"

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: "What do I- what do I wanna project?" You know what I mean? "What do I want the world to see me as?" You know, "Do I want to, you know, where do I want to get to go?" You know what I mean? And then you just sort of act accordingly. You dress accordingly, and you-you formulate your mouth a certain way because you wanna, you know, you-you-you either invite that sort of thing or-or you don't.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. That was the thinking there but, um, it-it is great to finally be back in the studio with you guys, I will say. I-I, uh, I missed seeing you in person.

Charlie: It's good.

Rob: I agree. I'm so happy to be back in the studio.

Glenn: Um, and yeah.

Charlie: I guess, for the- for the- for the non-creeps, for the listeners, we should say that Glenn is back in the studio, but in a very specific way.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: His body is held, uh, very still.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: His mouth is in a penis-receiving shape.

Rob: Mm-hmm. Oh, it doesn't have to be a penis. It could be receiving any-- anything, really.

Charlie: Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: Anything round.

Rob: Anything you could jam-

Glenn: Anything round could--

Rob: -anything in there, yeah.

Charlie: Put a golf ball in there because-

Glenn: Sure.

Charlie: -it'd be kinda funny.

Glenn: Sure, absolutely. Yeah, put a ping-pong ball in there.

Charlie: You have a- you have a like a rubbery look to your skin.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Um, but not-not too rubbery, you know. I think in a dark room, you'd really give someone a start. Why do they call it a start?

Glenn: I tell you what it feels like. You walk around- you walk around LA, and, um, you know, you-you-you start to-- I never saw myself as someone who would get, you know, the amount of plastic surgery that I've had, uh.

Charlie: Look at that, look at that work.

Glenn: You know what I mean? It's like-

Rob: That's a lot of work.

Glenn: -I'm now at a point where I've botoxed so much that I can't even move.

Charlie: Well, you've taken plastic surgery to a new level, and replaced your body with plastic-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -completely.

Glenn: Yes, yeah. Plastic's durable, and, uh, it lasts forever-

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: -um, you know, as-as we can see by, uh, by the oceans.

Charlie: And, uh--

Glenn: You know, and you can't get rid of it. It’s all over.

Rob: And Top Gun: Maverick. Have you guys seen Top Gun: Maverick?

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Glenn: No.

Rob: It's fucking awesome.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah, I can't wait.

Charlie: Because you know what- you know what's entertaining?

Rob: Mm.

Charlie: Uh, planes going 700 miles an hour and then blowing things up.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Uh, do you notice how they didn't name any enemy? They were saying-

Rob: Oh, very clear.

Charlie: -"The bad guy."

Rob: Very clear.

Charlie: The bad guy has-- is in-- enriching their uranium. [chuckles]

Rob: [chuckles]

Charlie: Oh, man.

Glenn: Are you serious?

Rob: Very clear.

Glenn: That-that is-- So that's literally exactly like our last Lethal Weapon episode, where we're like, don't name a cert-

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: -don't name a specific guy-

Rob: Yeah. Don't name a certain market.

Glenn: -origin of the world.

Charlie: Don't name a certain market.

Rob: Do not upset a certain market.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. Don't upset- don't upset any markets. The bad guy is en- enriching their uranium. We have to get in there. And so, uh, I kept leaning over to Mary Elizabeth during the big action sequences, as being like, "They're in Canada."

Rob: [chuckles]

Charlie: "The bad- the bad-- Look at all the snow. The bad guy is Canada."

Rob: Uh, what were they implying? What-- Was it Russia? Why-- It's hard to say. They-- Were they really were being nondescript-

Glenn: They were careful.

Rob: -'cause that typography's in China, that topography is in North Korea?

Charlie: I mean there was like, I feel like there was desert, and then there was snow.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And then, um--

Glenn: It's in Mongolia.

Rob: They-they wanted to cover all their bases.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: Cover all the bases.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And you couldn't see-

Glenn: I think--

Rob: -any of the-- all the- all the guys in the- in the- in the opposing air-airplanes. You couldn't see. They had masks-

Charlie: No.

Rob: -you couldn't see.

Charlie: They did have sort of very, uh, Cold War, kind of-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -decals on their planes, you know.

Rob: Yeah. But I think they were suggesting that those were bought. The-- those-- that those were relics bought-

Charlie: Oh, Uh-huh.

Rob: -by the former So-Soviet Union.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: I think they covered every base they possibly could.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Are you guys fucking kidding me?

Charlie: It was fucking kind of fun.

Glenn: It's literally exactly what we did on-- in the Lethal Weapon episode.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: When they were like, "We just we-- we're gonna make this as vague as po--" And it's still a good movie? You don't even know who they're fighting against?

Rob: Oh. Bud-- Buddy, not only is it good, it's the same exact movie that they made the first time, the fi-- the same exact movie.

Charlie: Yeah. Well--

Rob: And it's-- but the-- and they leaned all the way into it. Tom Cruise looks fantastic.

Charlie: He does, he does.

Rob: Tom Cruise is a- is a different-- I don't know that he's human, right? He's-- maybe he's not human.

Charlie: Yeah, who knows what the heck he's doing. But like--

Rob: But it's working.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: I don't look at his face and-and think, "Wow, he's got as much plastic surgery as Glenn has."

Charlie: Yeah, look at all that work. Um, but you know what, is also-- and speaking of where-where to put penises?

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Uh, bums are making a mess all over the city. And uh-

Rob: Wow. Okay, I was not-- When we-- When I knew that this was the episode we were going to be talking about, and I- and I popped it on last night, and again, just to remind everybody, I have not seen these episodes in well over a decade.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: I remember-- I remember distinctly disliking this episode at the time thinking we went too far with the costumes, we went too far with the silliness.

Charlie: With the attitudes and the-

Rob: With the parody. And um, it was just getting a little bit off the rails. And I watched it and thought it was one of the funniest episodes we've ever done.

Charlie: I absolutely agree.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: I watched that fucking thing, and I was like, "Oh my God, there's a freedom to the storytelling which-- that we have," which is to-to be like basically whatever we think is gonna be funny works, right? So, whether it's the cat, who by the way, it was so hot in that cop car in Philly, the cat's mouth is wide open because it's panting out of its mouth. Something I've never seen a cat do. It's like-- it's like heavy breathing.

Glenn: So yeah, I-- As I recall, and you guys correct me if I'm wrong ‘cause I was thinking about this too. I think we shot the interior cop car stuff in downtown LA, and then we shot the exterior cop car stuff in Philly. So, I believe we actually shot that in downtown LA, but it was-- I do know it was the dead of summer, wherever it was. And you are right, cats don't generally pant unless they are just like beyond hot. So, you can-- If you look, you can see we're all sweating. Like we're all very, you know-- we're glistening with sweat in that-- in that scene. It was-- It was awful.

Charlie: You know what? You're probably right. That probably was downtown LA ‘cause we would not have brought the cat and the cat trainer to Philly.

Glenn: Right, that's right. That's right.

Charlie: Right? That would've been like a- an extra cost that wasn't necessary, right? We would've been like, well--

Glenn: I mean, we could've.

Charlie: We can-- we can shoot all the cat stuff in LA and then-

Rob: I do remember how careful we were with that cat. And-and-and there's obviously-- There's-there's all sorts of regulations about how you are to be treating animals on set and they're there for a good reason. And we were very, very careful about that-that health- the-the cat's safety so much so that I remember the joke at the end was that he gets-- Agent Jack Bauer gets blown to safety from the car.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And we couldn't even-- We just wanted to just not even throw the cat, just lightly place him.

Charlie: Just have him drop from the top of the frame, down.

Rob: Exactly.

Charlie: A cat will jump off a bookshelf and land on its feet no problem.

Rob: Yes, yes.

Charlie: So like-- So we're like, "Can it-- can it drop from above lens height?"

Rob: In fact, how about we don't drop it? We just let the cat stand on an elevated platform no higher than a table, and we'll just hold a treat and he can just jump down and do his own thing.

Charlie: Yeah, it- it jumps down to get what it wants.

Rob: But they were very-- It was-- I remember being very strict. And if you look at that shot, he-he barely falls from-- It just looks like he's placed there.

Charlie: You know, I-I forgot now watching it.

Glenn: I'm-I'm-- I was-- I was so beyond frustrated when we were shooting that because I had owned cats my whole life and I felt like I understood-

Charlie: And chucked them all over the place.

Rob: “I fucking use to throw cats across the room. They're fine.”

Charlie: Yeah, the cat loves being chucked around.

Rob: Yeah. Charlie chops cats.

Charlie: Chop cat, chuck cat.

Glenn: Well no. But a cat-- a cat-- a cat could jump-- A cat can jump from a two-story window and be fine–

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: –you know what I mean? And I felt like I was like, "These are-- You guys are cat trainers, and I feel like you don't understand cats at all. You don't-- you don't get it. You don't understand what they're capable of." And I-- it was just so frustrating. ‘Cause-- But we did-- we didn't actually want like what you were talking about Rob, ‘cause if a cat jumps on it’s own, it's gonna land on its front feet first and then it's gonna plop down on its-- We wanted it to land on all four feet at the same time. So, we literally just said-- We put the camera as low as we could possibly put it. We just were like, "Let it-- Just drop it from not even a foot." I mean, it was like-- it was like a foot and a half.

Rob: The way that you would place a cat, almost like-- The way that you would move your cat from say a table you didn't want him on, you just wanted to put him on the ground. The way that everybody puts-- drops their cat. They don't throw it to the ground like a baseball, but they also don't just carefully place him down. We were being very respectful to-to-to the animal.

Glenn: I wasn't.

Charlie: Now, I will say watching it, I'd forgotten about that moment. And when I saw like the cat with like the smoke coming off of it or whatever, which we must have added in post. I don't know how we did that. But like uh, uh, I got a chuckle out of it.

Rob: It works.

Charlie: Yeah. Although, I-I-I was more watching that to be like, "Uh, what was the original joke?" I bet that I was trying to push for that we just blow the cat up.


Charlie: And then we were like, "Uh--" Or the network was like, "Uh, it's too much." I can't remember, but I feel like-

Rob: That sounds right to me.

Charlie: Yeah, my instinct was like--

Glenn: No, I-I-I think right from the beginning, we were like this cat can survive-- This cat can survive anything. It can survive anything and then at the end, he-

Charlie: Yeah, I mean, I guess it's in there in the writing.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: But I feel-- But I do believe that Charlie's sense of humor at least at one point would've said, "Well, isn't it more-- Isn't it funnier that we are setting up that he-- that he will survive anything, and then the final moment. [laughs]

Charlie: And then he won’t survive that.

Rob: He won't survive a car blowing up at the end.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah, I-I can see that.

Charlie: The guy that we buy the cat from, the expression he gives when-when you say, "And throw in that cat," it's the oddest look. But he's like you know-- you're like-like, "Is the-- you know, is the cop car for sale?" He's like, "Everything's for sale!" And we're like, "We'll take it, and throw in that cat." And he gives like this little like happy look that he's finally selling the cat, it’s amazing.

Rob: Well, let's start from the beginning, because the opening scene has-

Charlie: Is Danny's good friend, Tracey.

Rob: Yup, Tracey.

Charlie: Uh, who's been in a lot of movies. Uh-

Rob: Most famously I-- famously, I think, Batman.

Charlie: Batman is like the Joker's henchman.

Rob: Yeah, Bob?

Charlie: Uh, Bob, I think the character's name is Bob.

Rob: Bob. Is that right?

Charlie: Yeah. And Tracey's been in a million movies. Repo Man, and you know, he's just been around forever.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And he was Danny's friend.

Rob: Yup.

Charlie: And he wanted to be on the show, and we said, "Well, you wanna be a masturbating bum?" He's like, "Sure." But-

Rob: Who gets beat up. And one of those-- I remember one of those uh, trash cans that Kaitlin was hitting him with.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: That was an actual trash can and they had not-- Either-either they had not switched it out-

Charlie: Or she grabbed the wrong one.

Rob: Or she grabbed the wrong one.

Charlie: Yeah, one was a rubber lid-

Rob: She plunked him.

Charlie: -and one was a metal lid, and she picks up the metal lid and then bam!

Rob: Yeah, it gets him on.

Charlie: And-and he goes like, "Whoa!"

Rob: "Whoa, what kinda show is this? Is this is a student film?"

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: "Hey, can we get-- get me a stunt guy for this."

Charlie: Yeah, exactly.

Glenn: Well, no I-- What happened-- No, what happened was they did have a stunt guy. If you watched the episode, it's a stunt guy. It's a stunt guy and he's getting hit with a rubber thing. And then when they switched it out, ‘cause they were-- I think um, you know, Jerry wanted to get one shot so that you could actually see uh, Tracey's face. And so, it was a different setup. And-and I believe uh, you know, they just forgot to place the prop in the right place, or maybe Kaitlin grabbed the wrong trash can lid. But yeah, she bashes him with an actual trash lid.

Rob: She bashed him up good.

Glenn: And I-- It's in-- It's in the-- it's in the outtakes, I think. It's in the-the season three bloopers. And she–yeah.

Rob: And I'm wearing-- This is the episode where I'm wearing a t-shirt as an homage to Jerry who was our director.

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Rob: And then that t-shirt, do you remember what it says?

Charlie: Something dick nose?

Glenn: “What are you looking at, dick nose.” “What are you looking at, dick nose.”

Rob: “What are you looking at, dick nose.”

Charlie: Yeah. “What are you looking at, dick nose.”

Rob: But the best part of it is that there's no question mark at the end. So, it's a question–

Glenn: Right. Yes.

Rob: –but it's more of a statement. What are you looking at dick nose. And that's-that's taken verbatim from the movie Teen Wolf.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: That is right. Uh, Jerry Levine's character, Stiles uh, wears a t-shirt, albeit not sleeveless I don't think um, in the movie Teen Wolf, that says, "What are you looking at dick nose." And uh, yeah. So that was a-a tribute to our director.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: I remember finding Teen Wolf disturbing as a kid. Like seeing the trailers and being like, "Ah, I feel-- I'm-I'm uncomfortable with the hairy face."

Rob: Well, why is it that somebody turns into a wolf and they can play basketball better than everybody?

Charlie: I don't know.

Rob: ‘Cause I don't know that wolves are good at basketball.

Glenn: You know, I have a theory about that.

Charlie: No, I would not think of wolf would be good at basketball.

Rob: About why a wolf would be good at basketball?

Glenn: Hmm, no, here's-here's-- Well, you're not wrong, first of all. But if I were to have to justify it, what I would say is-- And maybe if I was in those you know, production meetings back in the '80s having that conversation and snorting line after line of cocaine. And as we're discussing these ideas, I would have said-- I think I would've said, "Well, it's not that the wolf-- It's not that a wolf is better at basketball, it's that he would be that good at basketball if he had the physical prowess of a wolf."

Rob: Mm.

Glenn: In other words, Michael J. Fox's character is actually a good basketball player, he's just small and weak.

Rob: Uh-huh.

Glenn: If he had the body of a werewolf, he would be able to do all of the things that uh, you know-

Rob: It’s like The Fly where Jeff Goldblum, sure he has the mega strength of a fly, you go okay.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. He could also melt your food by vomiting on it, yeah.

Rob: I believe it also made him very popular with the ladies. Now-

Charlie: That was an odd one. That was- yeah.

Glenn: That’s confusing.

Charlie: I don't-- I don’t really see how that's-

Glenn: That's confusing. That's confusing.

Charlie: Yeah, that's confusing.

Glenn: No, but Hairy Men Everywhere-- Hairy Men Everywhere watched that movie, and they were like, "See?" You know? And the women were still like, "I don't see." Um, guys, I think we've talked about this before on the podcast.

Rob: I think we have too. I think we have too.

Charlie: About uh, Teen Wolf?

Glenn: I think we’ve talked about Teen Wolf. Yes.

Rob: We’ve talked about Teen Wolf, yeah. This is the problem. We asked Meg, she's not even here.

Charlie: She’s not even here.

Rob: We asked her to cut it. Again, I've mentioned this on the podcast. I know, but she doesn't cut it, and now-- Then-then we look like assholes because we've already had this conversation but we spend so much time together, we don't know what we're talking about.

Charlie: I don’t know, yeah, we don't know.

Rob: Let's get back to the episode. One thing I really loved was the pacing.

Charlie: This episode. Oh, yeah?

Rob: I loved the pacing of the episode. We moved so quickly from scene, to scene, to scene, it feels very economical.

Charlie: It's-it's-it's light, right? Like all we-we buy a cop car and we wanna drive around in it and get free hotdogs.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Uh, we all just start taking it too far in our own specific ways.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Uh, you and Kaitlin wanna clean up the streets ‘cause we have someone masturbating in-in our alley, and that's-- It's as simple as that.

Rob: It's as simple as that.

Charlie: Um, the-the joke of the cops dropping you off in the bad neighborhood and then the gunshot and everyone scattering is great. Like, and then the-the-the taking it the next level when you say, and this I do feel like we've talked about in the show. But like- but like, "Hey, this guy doesn't-- we gotta get outta here. Let's find somewhere that looks safe."

Rob: We-we very clearly say we are in an African American neighborhood, which is a bad neighborhood from these-these characters' point of view. And then- and then you're watching and go, "Oh, well, that's a very specific statement."

Charlie: Well, you say you're in a, like a lower socio-economic-

Rob: Economic-

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: -African American neighborhood.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: That's what I said. But that's what sets up the joke that's coming.

Charlie: Yeah, that's what sets up the joke, which is that then you walk right pa-past the nice-looking man, and you go to your dad who's playing the crackhead.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And he pulls a gun on you.

Rob: And we suggest that these characters believe that this is a bad neighborhood simply because it-- They're people-- Yeah.

Charlie: That is a great way to do a joke about racism, about these characters, racist perspective on-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -where they are. Um--

Rob: Yes. And-and that is my actual dad who was pla-

Charlie: And that is your actual dad.

Rob: -who's playing the crackhead. I guess he's a crack-- We don't know if he's a crackhead. Maybe he's on methane. He's clearly on drugs of some sort.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And he points the gun up at us.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: That's my dad.

Glenn: And gives you a big, uh, big disgusting, toothy smile.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Uh, which I gotta say was, uh, you know, I-- His performance in that moment is pretty terrific.

Charlie: He did great.

Glenn: Did he say-- He did. Did he do a little bit of acting when he was younger? Did he do some plays or something? Well-

Rob: I don't think so.

Glenn: -did he say he did? Or am I making that up?

Charlie: He played Joseph in the, uh, or, uh--

Rob: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

Glenn: Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

Charlie: No, just like some kind of like church thing.

Rob: Oh, probably.

Charlie: You know, probably, right?

Rob: Probably. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, I don't- I don't think he had any back-- He doesn't have any background and he's just a-- He was- he was game.

Charlie: There were a lot of actors in this episode that were from Philly.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Like the kid that we kind of mug, um, for jaywalking was like a Philly actor and then, uh, the hot dog guy.

Glenn: Mm-hmm. Yep.

Rob: Or the- or maybe from New York that came in but-but either way, they were East Coasters, that's for sure.

Charlie: They might have been from New York, but I feel like we did like Philly casting sessions back in the day more often.

Rob: We did. But Glenn's cop character is so great.

Charlie: Glenn's cop-- and those glasses.

Rob: Uh, so great.

Glenn: That was-- Yeah, that was fun.

Rob: And then they did a movie-

Glenn: I remember having a lot of fun with that.

Charlie: Where I jam everybody up.

Rob: Like eight years later, and yeah, ja- get-getting jammed up, that was taken straight from NYPD Blue. I was obsessed with NYPD Blue.

Charlie: Really?

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And all they talked about was getting jammed up and jamming each other up and I don't wanna jam you up. And that just felt like good cop talk.

Charlie: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Rob: So, um, a few years later, they did a movie called Let's Be Cops.

Charlie: The Jake Johnson movie.

Rob: Yes. With Damon Wayans Jr. And they essentially just found a cop, started driving around, and started getting treated like cops. So, then they decided that they were going to act like cops-

Charlie: Right.

Rob: -and get all the stuff. And I remember when the movie came out and we all said, "Thi- this is-- We did this episode." We did this exact episode, and now they're making a movie out of it. And it was an independent movie, but it-it-- I think it made some money for them and-

Charlie: Yeah, it did pretty well.

Rob: -it did pretty well. And everybody's, "You're stupid. You're stupid." Well, then I ran into Jake a few year-- In fact, I worked with Jake a few years ago and I brought that up to him and he goes, "Oh yeah, I think the writer saw that episode and thought it was funny. They should just make a whole movie about it."

Charlie: It might not be too late to sue.

Rob: Shall we?

Charlie: It might not be too late to sue. Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. Let's get litigious.

Rob: Should we get litigious?

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: I-I would be- I would-

Glenn: Let's get litigious.

Rob: I would be afraid we would be opening ourselves up, um, to those same lawsuits.

Charlie: All right. Fine. Yeah. Forget it. Yeah, yeah.

Rob: I mean, I literally just said we stole the jamming- the jamming stuff up from NYPD Blue stuff.

Charlie: I mean, everybody steals. That's the thing. That's the thing.

Rob: That's the thing. We're all stealing.

*AD BREAK 23:22*

Rob: All right, gang. Charlie forgot to cash the stack of checks on his keyboard, and now he's lost a small fortune.

Charlie: Mm-hmm. And, you know, here's the thing, I just haven't been feeling like walking to the bank for the last, like 10 years or so.

Glenn: Did you know that there's such a thing as mobile deposit now?

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah. But that's a lot of work, too. And then, uh, there's an app, there's passwords, you know. It's too much.

Glenn: Uh-huh.

Rob: But today you can help Charlie recoup his keyboard money with this ad from our friends at Shopify.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Shopify gives entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big businesses. So now any type of business can sell goods and services digitally, synchronize online and in-person sales, and effortlessly stay informed, including startups, upstarts, and established businesses. Look, scaling your business is a journey of endless possibility. But I personally love how Shopify has the tools and resources to make it easy for any business to succeed from down the street to around the globe.

Charlie: Whoa. It's more than a store. Okay. Shopify grows with you. You can gain insights as you grow with detailed reporting of conversion rates, profit margins, and beyond. The-- This is possibility and it's powered by Shopify.

Glenn: So, go to shopify.com/sunny, all lowercase for a free 14-day trial, and get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features.

Charlie: Grow your business with Shopify today. Guys, go ahead and grow your business with Shopify today. Go to shopify.com/sunny. Right now, that's shopify.com/sunny.


Charlie: Let's talk about the music of this episode. The music of this episode makes this episode work and we were still--

Glenn: Well, it was another- it was just another case of us doing something very broad and then- and then the music leaning into it all the way and the music helping us with that.

Charlie: Yeah. Like, we get into the editing room and we're using our usual like, [hums] and it's not, you know, cutting together, right?

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: It doesn't feel right. And we start digging around and we find this sort of like '70s Serpico-esque-like cop music and suddenly it's just stitching the whole thing together in a great way. And I-I do miss the-- I watched that episode and there's innocence to what we're doing that I really miss. And by innocence, I just mean like a lack of experience in a good way. Which is that we don't know what the show is yet. We don't know what works or what doesn't work, and we're kind of like, "Well, maybe this will be funny."

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: And then it is, which is good.

Rob: It played pretty well.

Charlie: Played pretty well. I-I kind of wanna put my finger inside Glenn's mouth.

Glenn: That's what-- I was just thinking the same thing. You were telling that story and I was--

Charlie: And you're looking at his mouth.

Glenn: I'm looking at Glenn, I'm thinking I wanna--

Charlie: And then it hasn't moved for however long we've been talking. You wanna put your thumb in there?

Rob: I-I not my thumb.

Glenn: It's waiting for you. I'm waiting for you.

Charlie: You wanna- you wanna put something private in there?

Rob: No, no, no. I'm looking around for something to put in there, like a cigar or something that we could. But you know--

Glenn: A cigar would be fun.

Charlie: Would you like a cigar?

Rob: I don't know that we have access to a cigar. Are you getting thirsty? At some point, I could get--

Charlie: How-how-how deep does it go?

Rob: Well--

Charlie: Put your thumb in there.

Rob: I'll take the mic with me here.

Charlie: Hang on a second.

Rob: Or I can use his mic.

Charlie: Yeah, you can use his mic. Yeah.

Rob: Is that hot? Is that a hot mic?

Charlie: Yeah, it's a hot mic.

Rob: All right. I'm gonna stick my finger. Oh, wow.

Glenn: I think I can take more than a thumb.

Rob: Oh, buddy, that goes into your brain.

Charlie: That goes all the way back?

Glenn: That's right.

Rob: Yeah. Hold on.

Charlie: So that guy--

Rob: Oh, my God.

Charlie: That sucker's function.

Rob: Oh, God, yeah. I'm-- Oh yeah.

Charlie: Sorry about that, Glenn. Sorry about that.

Rob: Yeah, sorry buddy. Sorry.

Charlie: You okay?

Glenn: No, it's okay. It's all right. I asked for it. I'm asking for it.

Rob: Yes, that was very specifically. That was designed for something.

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Glenn: A couple of things about this episode, um, I don't know if you guys recall, but that opening sequence with Tracey masturbating and us just standing there watching him was not the original, uh, opening sequence of the- of the episode and we-

Charlie: Oh-

Glenn: -completely caught it that way.

Charlie: -this rings a be-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: This rings a bell.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: What was the original scene?

Glenn: I-- Is some of it in the bloopers?

Rob: Yeah. There-there would've had to have been a lot of dialogue, a conversation about what we were seeing. And we probably got-

Glenn: Yes.

Rob: -into the editing room-

Charlie: Okay. So, it was--

Rob: -and realized there was no-no words necessary.

Charlie: Yeah. So, the scene was there.

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: Right. So, the scene of you guys-

Glenn: Yes. Yes.

Charlie: -running into him, but you were probably saying X, Y, Z, and he was making noises and then-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -we just landed on silence.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Uh, yeah. Yeah. And-and-and, you know, when Tracey, you know, kind of l-looks up at us and gives us that big smile, it's just-- I laughed my ass off and I knew-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -I was in for a ride. I very much enjoyed that.

Charlie: Yeah, same.

Rob: I liked every once in a while, to picture some of the episodes that people-- That has to have been the first episode that somebody saw at some point, right?

Charlie: Yeah. [laughs]

Rob: I like the idea of somebody sitting down and saying, "I heard about this weird show that my friends are telling me about, and some people hate it and some people love it. I gotta just check this out." And watching that for the first time and just being so utterly confused.

Charlie: I-I always think it's funny when-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -people are like, go to watch our show for the first time, and it's-- It must just be like, taking a bottle of vodka, just pouring it down someone's throat and just be like, "Ah, you're gonna, you may or may not like this at some point, but here it comes."

Rob: I-I absolutely hate when people who don't-- who meet me, who say, "I've heard of your show from my kids, or my family, or my friends, but I've never actually seen it but I wanna start. Can you tell me which episodes that I should start with?" I have no answer to that. I have no answer to that.

Glenn: Yeah. What's the entry point?

Rob: I dunno. I dunno what's the entry point.

Glenn: What's the entry point? It's different for everybody. It's different for-

Charlie: It's different for everybody. Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: -'cause there are people.

Charlie: Sometimes I'm like, "Watch season five."

Rob: Just start with season five.

Charlie: Yes. Just watch season five and go back. I don't know.

Glenn: That's-- I-I actually agree with you, Charlie. I-I-I feel like at this point, you know, but again, that's-that's with my- that's with my sensibilities now.

Charlie: Yeah, that's right. And-

Rob: 'Cause think at a certain point, I probably would've said season three, but I-I-I think now I would be scared to say season three 'cause I feel like it's-it's a little too crazy to start with. Um, and season five, I feel like is really solid.

Charlie: I don't know.

Rob: Yeah. I feel like--

Charlie: Start the beginning. Go for the ride.

Rob: Maybe. Yeah. I mean, either way, I feel- I feel like though your mouth would be a metaphor for that experience as well, which is you just gotta open up wide and whatever gets shoved in-

Charlie: Take it in.

Rob: You gotta take.

Charlie: Take it in and don't fight against it.

Glenn: You gotta take it.

Rob: I mean, you can. Just turn it off.

Charlie: Yeah. He can't, but--

Rob: Well, now he can’t. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t. He was designed that way.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: He was designed that way.

Glenn: Uh, there's a great, uh, one of my favorite lines in the episode is right after that-

Charlie: But if he's truly--

Glenn: -opening.

Charlie: I'm sorry. But he's truly designed after Dennis Reynolds, his design should not be about my satisfaction at all. So, in-

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: -some ways, this doll's getting what it wants, I'm sorry this- this person

Glenn: But it wasn't designed by me, it was designed by Mac.

Charlie: Oh, it was designed by Mac, that's true, that's true.

Glenn: To replace me. That's why.

Charlie: If it was an accurate representation, your pleasure-

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: -would not be involved at all

Glenn: Yeah, n- no, you're right. If I had designed it, if I had designed it, um, it wouldn't be about–

Charlie: There'd be a little razor blade down that mouth, and that would be like all about his sick and twisted--

Rob: [laughs]

Glenn: -well, we- it wouldn't be about- yeah, yeah. I wouldn't be a vessel for someone else's pleasure, I would be administering–

Charlie: No, not at all. Not at all.

Glenn: -I'd be administering pleasure and justice.

Charlie: And justice.


Glenn: -Often at the same time. Um–

Charlie: Justice.

Glenn: One of the, um, one of the best lines in the episode, it makes me laugh so hard and it's such a throwaway line, after we walk in after the opening title sequence and we're telling you, Charlie, and um, we're telling Charlie and- and Frank, uh you know, there's- that there's a masturbating bum in the alley, and Charlie's like, "Oh, yeah, yeah. I've seen that guy." Eh, but the best line is, uh, is- I think it- I don't if it's me that comes- I think I come in and I go, "There's a bum masturbating in the alley." And-and Danny goes- Danny goes, "Masturbating bums are bad for business."


Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: As if that's something that needs to be said. Like-

Charlie: Yeah


Glenn: -supposed to like- like he's teaching us a lesson in that moment as if there could be some confusion, you know, as if we're about to have a debate as to whether that's good for business or not. He's just like right off the bat–

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -"Listen guys, I need to teach you something.

Charlie: Yeah. “Bad for business. Gotta go.”

Glenn: -I need to teach you something. Masturbating bums in the alley are bad for business." Uh, that shit made me laugh.

Charlie: I think for our, uh, listeners and creeps who are young, aspiring filmmakers, uh, or TV makers, or whatever what have you, uh, TikTokers. Um, it's probably nice to know that, I would say, 85% of the time, what we set out to do doesn't totally work out, right? We've written something, and we've shot something and we get in the editing room and e- for whatever reason it doesn't work, right? And then, we have to find, "Okay, oh, this type of music completely- radically changes the episode and makes it work." Or, "Oh, this scene doesn't work, but let's just have the guy masturbating in silence." And it's so interesting how it is that over and over and over again, for all 15 years-

Rob: Uh-huh.

Charlie: -you know, there's no sort of blueprint for it. Every now and then, we walk in and we're like, " Wow, this thing's pretty much tight tope to bottom. Let's do a couple tweaks and call it a day." But it's super rare.

Rob: Well, one thing that I've noticed is that I, uh, I now have the ability to watch a cut of say, Mister Quest or whatever show it might be, and I can watch the cut and pretty much–

Glenn: A.P. Bio.

Rob: If you have yeah, uh, what's- A.P. what?

Glenn: A.P. Bio.

Rob: [chuckles] I've never seen that. Um, I could watch a cut of something although.

Charlie: He's talking about something he did in school.

Rob: Oh. Well, if you wanna send it my way, I can give you notes on it.

Charlie: Yeah, it's like a student film?

Rob: No. Um, anyway I- I think we all have these abilities that you can look at a cut now and see- pretty much see what needs to change in it. And that's only- that only comes- right, I could sit with an editor and watch uh, an episode of something, and say change this, change that, cut this, put a musical transition in here, lose that scene entirely and just try that. And then, you come back and it's not 100%, but you can pretty much guess right. And the reason we can guess right is just simply because we've spent thousands of hours in editorial. And it comes- we think, in my mind I forget it. It feels like it comes in naturally, but it doesn't. It's a learned skill.

Charlie: Hmm.

Rob: You have to sit in front of- and you- now we have- everybody has the editing software on their phones. You just gotta try. Make, try, iterate.

Charlie: But then, there's the weird thing too of like, you know, you just said, "I remember thinking that this episode wasn't our best, and maybe a little too broad." And then you look at it however many years later, a decade later–

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -and you're like, "Oh it's actually pretty good."

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Uh, I'm feeling the same, right? So, then there's that weird side of it too where you're like, you've done the work, you've put it together, and you say, "Okay, this is the best I can make this, but I know it's not really the best it could have been."

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: But then you go back and you look at it, and you say, "Oh, no, it probably is better than I realize it ever would've been." You know? Like ah- maybe I would've made it worse trying to make it better.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: You know? I don't know, it's so weird.

Glenn: Ca- could we give a little bit of credit to our editors too? Because, you know especially some of those, uh, you know, Josh Drisko who's been editing for us since the original home movie. Um, Tim Roche, your buddy from Rhode Isla- Rhode Island, who we had auditioned to edit the show, and just absolutely crushed it right from beginning. But those guys, you know they've also had, you know their fing- their fingerprints are all over those, um, those musical choices and uh, and some of the better edits, you know, some of the- some of the ways in which, you know, we can kinda tie things together and make it all feel intentional. Um, you know, I- I- I gotta just, you know, I- I mean I can remember a number of instances in which we can back. I mean often it's like, "Hey Josh, we wanna try something that feels like this." But then he's gotta be the one that actually sift through all that music [crosstalk]

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: -and- and try and make it work, and edit it. Edit the music, and stick it in the scenes, you know what I mean? And uh, you know, those guys just done such a terrific job over the years of–

Rob: Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you what, I take that for granted because I sometimes will have to work with other editorial teams and postproduction teams.

Glenn: Right.

Rob: And you realize, oh- very quickly, oh wow, we have some of the best editors and editorial staff and produce- post production producers in the business.

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: The role of editor is such a huge- I mean in-in a sense they're directing, they're writing, you know, they're- they're–

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: You can completely- and this- like this episode or the suburbs ones are like examples of like, completely reinventing what the episode is in the editing room.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Mh-hmm.

Charlie: Um, The Gang Dines Out, you know, so many different versions of that till we landed on that sort of Italian music sort of version of it, and there- I- there's a- I mean you can just drastically change what it is. And yeah, and there's a weird myth about [chuckles] like, I don't know, like an auteur, you know, like one- and without a doubt, they exist, right? Like someone whose influence is so great on all departments that, you know, they're like a blackhole sucking everything towards their vision, and then out comes this amazing thing. But the reality is like there's so much collaboration involved from the costume department to the, you know, the casting, to the p- the performers, to the, you know, the everything- everything. The- certainly the directors on our show and like, uh, what else is there, craft service?


Rob: Well, no. I think that's- that's totally valid. Is that- the only place that an au- auteur actually exist is- is if you're painting- painting something or fuckin' drawing something. And it's just you and the medium. Now, that doesn't mean you don't have people with exceptionally specific points of view that everything gets- gets pushed through–

Charlie: Yes, you have the Coen brother's who're writing the movies–

Rob: But the Coen brothers aren't acting in their movies.

Charlie: They're- they're- they're not acting in them and then they're also, uh you know, they're being led by uh, um, the best DPs in the world, uh.

Rob: Yeah. Roger Deakins is a, yes. He’s a legend.

Charlie: Roger Deakins, he's a living legend, you know? And uh, you know–

Glenn: Teddy photographs.

Charlie: Oh, Teddy photographs, there–

Rob: Oh, Teddy photographs–

Charlie: Oh, Teddy photographs is gonna make it so–

Rob: The deacon of photography.

Charlie: The deacon is in the house, you know? Um, I know, just that–

Rob: It's amazing they- didn't they take- they took stunts, like, stunt people out of the Oscars. They too- I mean they- they kicked them to off camera. The DPs, the people that are actually capturing the images? Fuck that.

Charlie: The- the- the whole awards thing is–

Rob: Well, it's a whole different thing.

Glenn: We have- we have an episode about that, we'll get into that.

Charlie: -I mean, you know the Academy, they're atrocious.

Rob: [laughs]

Charlie: What's your line in the uh, what's your line in uh, oh man.

Rob: We have a whole episode about that, or, yeah.

Charlie: Well, I'm going out to lunch with my brain tonight.

Glenn: Yeah, what's going on with your brains?

Charlie: Uh, I had some beer.

Rob: Yeah, I know, I- I felt it.

Glenn: Oh.

Charlie: You felt it?

Rob: Yeah. That why I’m saying.

Charlie: -you felt me a little groggy today?

Rob: No, no I mean I felt it last night.

Charlie: Or a little puffy?

Rob: It was the E, it was the ET of it all, around at 8:00 PM, I started to feel a little, yeah.

Charlie: You said, "Glenn's having fun tonight, Glenn's kicking back. It's summertime.

Rob: It's summertime.

Charlie: Yeah, it was.

Rob: You playing golf?

Charlie: Well, I was but this week, I've been working a bunch.

Rob: Oh, great.

Charlie: Yeah, writing and writing a lot of music.

Rob: Fun. Oh, can we hear some of it? No, or is this for--

Charlie: No, I'll share. I'll share with you and then I'll share with the public when it's more refined.

Rob: Excellent.

Glenn: Are you gonna make an album? Are you cuttin' an album?

Charlie: Uh, I wanna do something like a movie with a bunch of music in it. I don't know if I can pull it off, but if you guys weren't doing so many goddamn things, we could collaborate. But you guys are so fuckin' busy.

Rob: Well, I mean we collaborate quite a bit.

Charlie: That's true.

Rob: We do, and I love it. I love every second of it, um.

Charlie: I do too.

Rob: I-I like the idea of putting more energy into this podcast. I'm happy that we're here–

Glenn: Me too.

Rob: -again together, all of us. Reaching out and touching to everybody's knees here, which I know you–

Charlie: Yes. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: -absolutely hate.

Glenn: Are you touching me?

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah. Oh, you can't feel since the- since the full body replacement, you can’t feel the knees anymore.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Oh my God, you were just touching my hand. I saw you do it. I can't feel that.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Can you only feel that goes in and outta the mouth?

Glenn: That's the only thing I'm designed to feel now, yes.

Charlie: Yeah. And is that your only, uh, hole?

Glenn: Yes.


*MUSIC 39:33*

Rob: Are you thirsty? You gotta be thirsty ‘cause I've taken so many sips of water. I'm gonna give you a little water.

Glenn: You know, I'm not.

Charlie: Lubricate it.

Rob: You gotta, I'm try- I'm–

Charlie: I'm gonna get myself some more coffee while you're watering Glenn.

Glenn: [gulps]

Rob: That's right. You feel refreshed, right?

Glenn: Ah, yeah.

Rob: It's cold.

Glenn: No, you're right. Gosh. I never- didn't even realize that- that was good, thank you, I appreciate that.

Rob: You got it, buddy.

Glenn: Um, Rob, are you- are you dressed in character right now?

Charlie: I want to put a finger in here. Oh, wow-

Glenn: Or is that, ‘cause I thought you weren't going to set.

Charlie: -it sorts of pools up in there.

Rob: Yeah, that's why I-I poured some-

Glenn: [chokes]

Rob: Oh, he's choking.

Glenn: [coughs]

Rob: You okay, Glenn? You gotta-- you choked him a little bit.

Charlie: Oh, sorry.

Rob: You couldn't here there, Charlie.

Charlie: -I didn't mean to choke you, pal.

Glenn: Yeah, I'm good.

Rob: Yeah, he's all right.

Glenn: No, I'm all right, I'm all right.

Rob: Uh, so-

Glenn: So, Rob, sorry were you dressed in character?

Rob: -we've al- we've already covered the way I look. Were you not paying attention?

Glenn: Well- I know, but I-I-- but-but-- you-you-you, I don't understand.

Rob: I'm just mixing it up.

Charlie: I kinda wanna shave my head.

Rob: It's very freeing.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: We're all gonna have shaved heads because as soon as I'm done, uh, you know, filming this movie, I won't have to wear this wig anymore and I can, um, I can shave my head.

Rob: W-wow.

Charlie: Um, what else about this episode?

Rob: Yeah. Glenn, you're the host, do you have any questions for us?

Glenn: Now, Rob, uh, the inspiration behind your, uh, yours and uh, Sweet Dee's, uh, costumes with the Guardian Angels-

Rob: Curtis Silwa.

Glenn: -correct-

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: -in New York City?

Rob: Yeah. Uh, a group started by a man named, Curtis Silwa? I believe his name was. And the early ‘80s- late ‘70s early ‘80s in New York City, I believe was a tough time. And I think that, um, the- the general public was taking matters into their own hands and becoming their own police force.

Charlie: Mm.

Rob: And, uh, the Guardian Angels were that force and they would patrol the- the subways of New York City late at night and just- just beat the shit out of people as far as I- as far as I-

Glenn: Did they beat-- did they bash people? Did they bash 'em?

Rob: Yeah, yeah, they bashed 'em up pretty good. I think they were just sort of a threatening force for good from their vantage point and, um, I don't know how effective it was. I do know that being a vigilante has got some- got some issues, just in its nature.

Charlie: It's com- it's complicated.

Rob: And yet, we celebrate them, Batman, you know.

Charlie: Uh, yeah.

Rob: I mean, I guess you can say all superheroes are vigilantes to some extent.

Charlie: Reckless–

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: -these superheroes, really, you know?

Rob: Mm.

Glenn: Now Charlie, talk to us about your 'Serpico' impersonation, your Al Pacino impersonation. That was that a- was a very influential movie on you? Did you-

Charlie: No.

Glenn: Are you a big Pacino fan in general?

Charlie: Yeah, sure. Who doesn't love Pacino? Um, no, I think that was just more of a goof, you know? We were like, uh, we were like all right what, uh, you know, probably breaking the story and being like, "Okay, we have the cop car, what are people doing?" And I-I don't even know how we came up with that. It was like, "Okay, now you're just turning into Serpico?" I just thought it was like-

Glenn: I think that was something that you just- I-I think that was something that you wanted to do. You know what I mean?

Charlie: Yeah, I think I just found it amusing.

Glenn: You were like who’s going to go in the car with you.

Charlie: The ponchos and the big hats.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: [laughs] And you know? And like- and like they just like the--yeah, the choice of the poncho really, I think has so much to do with and just being like-

Glenn: Yeah, sort of like, what's the opposite of dressing like a cop, you know what I mean?

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: How far in that direction can we go? And it's like a poncho and a giant beard.

Charlie: The quest for justice. Like I probably had recently seen it within a year or two of writing that episode and was like, "Yeah, well he’s just doing a 'Serpico' thing,” and then I get to do a weird-- It's always fun to like be doing the impression and the having to drop it, you know? Like, ah, you're like, "Oh, I'm walking!" And you're like, "Now you're doing the Christopher Walkin" and I'm like, "No, I'm not doing-- I'm walking, I'm walking away." You know? Just those little things. But, yeah, I-

Glenn: I don't-

Charlie: -I don't remember.

Glenn: -I-I-I don't think it would've worked as well if you had not as the character verbalized the fact that wanted to do a 'Serpico' type thing.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: You know what I mean? To me that's what makes it funny is, it’s your character, it's your character being like, "Oh, I can do a 'Serpico' type thing." And then, your character going and getting the costume and the fake beard, and the-

Charlie: Yeah, we'd already sort of established that like my guy at that point early on was like taking shit too far. We're all taking it too far, and I take it even like further into the extremes, right? And that's sorta the joke of that character.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: And then, so, uh, yeah, I guess it was just like, "He wants to do an Al Pacino impression." And then I don't know, then-

Glenn: Well, then-

Charlie: -then it's like the writing has taken the Spin Doctor's mix and-

Rob: [laughs]

Charlie: -for the mayor, "Hey, how about my jump in that freeze-frame at the end?" Man, you got some vertical body.

Rob: I-I remember loving it at time and I loved it again last night. You got so high.

Charlie: I- how do I fuckin' do that?

Glenn: You got some–

Rob: You got–

Glenn: –holy shit, man.

Charlie: I can't do that, anymore. There's no way. I think it was the tucking of the knees. I feel like I did-

Rob: I think you can get that high again.

Charlie: No, man. I feel like-- Here's what I think maybe happened. I did one and you said he-- one of you guys said, "Hey, try tucking your knees up and it'll make you look like you're even higher."

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: I think that's what happened. [laugh] But it's such a good pose, man. The knees, the arms, like-

Glenn: That's great.

Rob: I'm gonna say that it's the I-- it's the magic of photography and a still frame in the middle and at the peak of flight.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And I'm gonna suggest that you can still get up there, and I think we-we should take a camera out to the parking lot.

Glenn: I think his knees will explode. I think he could do it, too.

Charlie: Oh, man.

Rob: Yeah, I think he could do it he could stretch out a little bit.

Glenn: But I think his knees would explode upon landing.

Charlie: [laughs] You think I'm gonna break like glass? Uh, I-I think- I think I could get in the air, but that was some height man, that was a-

Rob: Okay, so here's what I'd like to propose to end this episode. I'd like to propose Charlie and I going outside. Um, Glenn, you also can join us, of course. And we're going to-

Glenn: Sure.

Rob: -uh, take the-the I wanna take a video of you, and I'm gonna have you jump into the air. We're gonna freee-frame it and at the very end of this episode, it's gonna go, "Tarantan taran." And you're gonna be just as fuckin' high as you were in 2007.

Glenn: Better warm up, pal.

Charlie: Wow.

Glenn: Better warm up.

Charlie: Oh, shit, I should've worn more athletic shoes.

Rob: Ah, let's-let's go, let's do it.

[End Credits]


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