On the pod, the guys revisit Mac and Dennis: Manhunters from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 4, Episode 1 with special guest, Kaitlin Olson.
Glenn Howerton: Jill keeps insisting-
Kaitlin Olson: Mm.
Glenn: -on buying real ones and I'm like, "What are you doing?"
Kaitlin: I love- I love-
Charlie Day: Real what?
Kaitlin: -real plants.
Glenn: Real plants.
Rob McElhenney: Okay well–
Kaitlin: I'm gonna disagree.
Glenn: They look exactly, uh, like, uh, we have some-- We have--
Kaitlin: They're not gonna give you the oxygen that you-you need, and they smell bad.
Glenn: But there's enough- there's enough oxygen--
Charlie: We got a plant in our house that I've had since that first house, and-
Charlie: -it's lived that long, and it's even sprouted new things.
Kaitlin: I love my-
Kaitlin: I love my plants. I love my plants.
Charlie: It's a partner in our home.
Kaitlin: I get very excited when they start to do fun things like bloom.
Glenn: Yeah. Well, Jill does too. She-she keeps- she keeps, you know, she keeps the plants alive.
Glenn: Uh, I can't keep a plant alive. I-- Wh-- I-- Plants are fuckin' assholes, man.
Kaitlin: No, just not all of them. Some of them.
Rob: Wait, Meg, are we rolling?
Glenn: They're fucking assholes.
Rob: Okay, here we go.
Kaitlin: Not all of them. Some of them are.
Glenn: Plants are fucking assholes, like they have--
Rob: Comin' in hot. Talking about plants.
Glenn: Okay, so-so you can have- you can have-- Like outside, there's a sidewalk right? And through the sidewalk, you-- it will literally pant-- plants will fucking grow-
Kaitlin: That's right.
Glenn: -out of the sidewalk.
Kaitlin: That's right.
Glenn: And yet I can- I have a plant in my house right next to the window that I water everyday, very delicately.
Kaitlin: You put it in a pot?
Glenn: And I put it in--
Kaitlin: It doesn't wanna be in a pot.
Glenn: It wants to be under the sidewalk?
Megan Ganz: [laughs]
Kaitlin: It’s perfectly fine under the sidewalk.
Glenn: Smashing through the sidewalk.
Kaitlin: You can't hold it down.
Glenn: So like what's- what's the, uh, look I-I don't- I don't understand. I really don't. I'm like I can give a wa-- I can give a plant water and sunshine, and all the things that it says that it needs-
Kaitlin: You're probably giving it too much.
Glenn: -and it's still like--
Kaitlin: "I don't wanna."
Glenn: "I don't want to. It’s too much water."
Kaitlin: “I don't wanna grow for you.”
Glenn: "That's too much. I'm wilting."
Glenn: You know, or like, "It's not enough, I'm dry."
Kaitlin: Well, if it's wilting, it's not enough water. You're really not just-- You're not- you're not paying attention to it and listening to what it needs. My plants are all fine.
Glenn: Yeah, I don't- I don't know how to fucking understand it. Maybe it's because I-I am just like--
Charlie: You're not a plant?
Charlie: Maybe it's 'cause you're not a plant.
Kaitlin: Maybe you're focused on watering yourself and not paying attention to what else needs to be watered in your house. Sorry, Jill.
Glenn: Fake plants are where it's at.
Charlie: You're above nature.
Rob: My man hates plants. My man hates plants.
Glenn: No, I-I just don't understand-
Kaitlin: He hates real plants.
Glenn: -them. They're fucking assholes. They're-they're so-so finicky. Why are they so finicky? How do they survive in nature? Like--
Charlie: Do you feel the same about grass? Would you prefer an AstroTurf yard to a-
Glenn: No, no.
Charlie: -grass yard?
Glenn: No, I'm not talking about plants outside.
Charlie: So, gr-grass.
Glenn: I'm talking about indoor plants.
Charlie: Indoor plants.
Glenn: I'm talking about indoor plants.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: They're fucking assholes.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Glenn: Plants that are planted outside--
Charlie: Outdoor plants are fine.
Kaitlin: Loves outdoor plants.
Glenn: I like indoor plants too. They just don't fucking like themselves.
Kaitlin: They don't like you.
Glenn: They wanna-- They fucking commit suicide-
Kaitlin: No, they only don’t like you.
Glenn: -every time I have one.
Charlie: They-they- they're a lot of work.
Rob: Have you tried a succulent? Something that doesn't need-
Rob: -a lot of water, doesn't really need a lot of anything.
Kaitlin: Have you tried any variety of plants?
Charlie: You- Like-like a little cacti?
Glenn: Everything. I’ve tried everything.
Charlie: Like a little cacti?
Glenn: I can't keep a plant alive. Jill's good at it. I-I can't keep a plant alive. I've tried, and they just- they fucking hate me.
Rob: D-do you- do you yell at them? 'Cause they can feel that, when you say something.
Glenn: I berate them after they don't do what I uh, tell them to do.
Rob: And after they’re already dead.
Kaitlin: They're already on their way out?
*Opening music 2:44*
Rob: Welcome to the podcast everybody. Here we are coming in hot with Glenn's take on plants and how they're assholes.
Glenn: Indoor plants.
Charlie: Plants is assholes, I think.
Rob: Plants is assholes.
Charlie: Plants is assholes.
Glenn: Plants are assholes.
Rob: Also, welcome to the studio.
Glenn: Why-why Glenn hate?
Rob: Kaitlin Olson--
Charlie: Why Glenn hate? [laughs] Plants is assholes. Why Glenn hate?
Kaitlin: Why are you talking over his introduction?
Rob: This is just part of the show.
Glenn: Hi. Oh my god.
*Everyone making noises*
Charlie: Noise, noise, noise.
Rob: Let's start with the elephant in the room.
Glenn: Yeah, let's start with the elephant.
Rob: Let's address that eye. What do we have in the eye?
Kaitlin: Okay, listen, uh--
Glenn: You know, when-
Glenn: -he said he wanted to start with the elephant in the room.
Kaitlin: I-I have a stye in my eye.
Charlie: You got a stye?
Glenn: Oh, do you?
Kaitlin: Yeah, and it's disfiguring, but I was just gonna come and show up, and you know, be my best self.
Rob: No, I wanna talk about it. I wanna talk about it.
Kaitlin: Oh my God.
Rob: Because we–
Glenn: *Elephant noise*
Kaitlin: I'm a clean person. It's that bad? It's pretty bad.
Charlie: That's the elephant in the room.
Kaitlin: It’s pretty bad, yeah.
Rob: I don't understand st-styes.
Rob: So-- I do actually, sorry I do understand styes.
Kaitlin: Yeah, it's a clogged duct-
Rob: They're-- It's a clogged oil duct.
Kaitlin: -which is gross, and I'm clean.
Rob: But i-it is not a coincidence that we both got styes in our house at the same exact time.
Kaitlin: You did wake up a few days later with a stye. Yours is not as problematic. Mine is--
Charlie: Are they contagious?
Kaitin: disfiguring my face.
Charlie: Wanna google that?
Glenn: Do you guys do butterfly kisses?
Kaitlin: No, and they're-- Also, they're not contagious. [crosstalk]
Rob: No, styes are not contagious.
Charlie: Smash-smash eyes together?
Rob: We don't-- They're not contagious.
Kaitlin: We could-- Yes, we smashed, and it-it--
Rob: It's a- it's a clogged oil duct that gets infected-
Kaitlin: It's a clogged oil duct. It has nothing to do--
Rob: -essentially because--
Glenn: And it just happened at the same time?
Rob: It happens at the same time. It's impossible. There's something- there's something about the air in our house.
Kaitlin: Here we go.
Rob: She refuses to believe that it's too dry.
Kaitlin: I like a purifier. We live in Southern California.
Glenn: I'm sorry, why-why would dry air--
Kaitlin: Thank you.
Glenn: Does dry air cause styes?
Glenn: Have you- Did you go on WebMD and--
Megan: It's caused by bacteria. So, it says that if-if you get that bacteria on like a pillowcase, you could technically spread it to somebody else, but it's very unlikely.
Rob: Any ophthalmologist-
Kaitlin: We don't share pillow cases.
Rob: -I've talked to, and I've talked-
Glenn: You guys aren't--
Rob: -to a few of them, because I've had styes in the past.
Glenn: Excuse me, what did you call them?
Kaitlin: He didn't feed you right there.
Charlie: I heard, "opto" as well.
Glenn: I heard ophthalmologist.
Kaitlin: You wanted, "opto."
Glenn: I needed to hear ophthalmologist.
Kaitlin: He corrected for you.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Glenn: He did.
Rob: It doesn't matter, but it is fascinating that we both have styes at the same exact time. I don't know.
Kaitlin: We even, uh, look, we-- I have--
Glenn: That's so cute.
Kaitlin: I get a stye maybe once every three years. I'm so obsessed with not getting a stye that I've got the eyelid, wel-- I-I use the makeup cleanser.
Kaitlin: Makeup cleanser? Makeup remover.
Kaitlin: Then, I wash my face-
Kaitlin: -and then I-I clean the eyelid with that little towelette.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they have that stuff. You know, you can also-- You-you-- What helps with a stye is also Colloidal Silver. Colloidal Silver drops, put them right in your eye, boom stye gone.
Glenn: Anytime I feel a stye coming, Colloidal Silver drops, they never show up.
Kaitlin: Well, what if it's gotten so bad that your eye is as-
Glenn: It's too late now.
Kaitlin: -the size of a pea and the other eye is normal eye.
Glenn: Yeah, that's-- It's too late now.
Kaitlin: Well, then.
Glenn: The elephant has been fed.
Rob: You might lose the eye at this point.
Megan: [laughs] No.
Rob: Mine's not as bad as you, is it?
Kaitlin: I'm willing to take it out 'cause it's been-
Glenn: Just pop it out.
Kaitlin: -like a week and a half.
Charlie: Ooh, really?
Kaitlin: Yeah, It's not going anywhere
Charlie: A week and a half.
Kaitlin: It's not going anywhere.
Rob: Styes can last for a long time.
Glenn: That's the biggest--
Kaitlin: Stye you've ever seen.
Glenn: That's one of the biggest styes I've ever seen.
Kaitlin: [laughs] Me too.
Charlie: We were spok-- Uh, speaking and I didn't know whether to- br- mention it or not? And I didn't wanna say anything.
Kaitlin: You were like, "Why is one of your eyes like half the size that it should be?"
Glenn: It's like- it's like Quato. It's like it's gonna start talking.
Kaitlin: It might.
Glenn: It's gonna-- It has it's own brain.
Kaitlin: It might.
Rob: I'll take a picture for the site.
Glenn: That's okay, we were talking about--
Kaitlin: Cool. Thanks for having me everybody.
Kaitlin: Oh, that's bad.
Glenn: Let me see the picture.
Kaitlin: It's bad. Oh, that's bad.
Charlie: Is it painful?
Rob: Yeah, they're painful.
Kaitlin: Yeah, very painful.
Glenn: That hurts.
Charlie: It looks painful.
Kaitlin: When I- when I wake up in the morning, it's s-s-swollen, so like, you know, I can't see so good.
Charlie: And there's no unclogging it. You can't-- There's no like--
Kaitlin: I tried. I'm doing the hot compresses. I'm squeezing as hard as I can. My kids are very scared. I threatened to turn it inside out, the lid, and then poke it with a lancet. And Leo really just, he put his foot down.
Glenn: I don't recommend that.
Kaitlin: Yeah, he's not having that.
Rob: We weren't in on that.
Glenn: I don't recommend that.
Kaitlin: Well, what am I gonna- what am I gonna do?
Glenn: I'd say, stab it from the outside.
Kaitlin: But there's nothing to stab. It's just swell. You can't see yours, oh.
Rob: I'm taking a-- I'm trying to take one too.
Glenn: You have one too right now?
Rob: Yes, buddy. Yes.
Kaitlin: That's what we're saying.
Glenn: I know. But I thought- I thought you were saying--
Kaitlin: You can't see his.
Charlie: It's an epidemic in their household.
Rob: It's a stye epidemic at the McElhanney's household.
Charlie: Do the kids have them?
Kaitlin: No, no.
Charlie: The animal's okay?
Kaitlin: We're a very, very clean household.
Charlie: What about the house plants?
Kaitlin: The plants are great. The plants are responding nicely to all of my energies.
Glenn: Are you guys gonna give us? I don't want--
Rob: They are not contagious.
Kaitlin: It's not. It's not the--
Glenn: Stay the fuck away from my--
Kaitlin: What's it? It's not pink eye. It's not conjunctivitis.
Glenn: She said it was contagious.
Kaitlin: Megan, shut the fuck up.
Charlie: We don't don't really know.
Kaitlin: It's not true.
Glenn: Megan said it was contagious.
Charlie: If there's anything we learned as a society, is that we-we don't really want to be listening to these dumbass doctors all the time.
Rob: That's true.
Charlie: Just some smart-ass doctor's trying to tell you what to do with your health. They don't really know. They don’t know. You know what I mean?
Kaitlin: You don't always need to listen. Use your commonsense.
Rob: These science bitches don't know what's what.
Charlie: These stupid science bitches.
Kaitlin: Stupid science bitches.
Megan: The-the only thing that Kaitlin is spreading is joy on this podcast for being here.
Kaitlin: That's right.
Megan: Thanks for joining us again.
Kaitlin: Thanks for having me.
Glenn: And-and styes.
Charlie: And [laughs]--
Megan: We're not as drunk as the last time that you joined us.
Kaitlin: And that's for- that's for the best.
Megan: That is probably.
Kaitlin: That's for the best. Yeah, maybe I'll make sense this time.
Glenn: Joy and styes. Okay.
Kaitlin: That's enough. And we-we can move past the whole stye thing.
Charlie: We'll cut all that.
Kaitlin: Hey, yeah, we're done with the styes.
Charlie: We'll cut that.
Megan: I'm gonna VFX it out anyway, so we won't--
Kaitlin: Thank you.
Megan: Yeah. Um, but yeah, we're here today to watch, um, Mac and Dennis: Manhunters.
Glenn: The first episode of season four.
Charlie: You choose the first episode of season four. Uh.
Charlie: Before we watch it, any memories of, uh--
Kaitlin: I don't remember a thing.
Charlie: Any memories of the past-
Kaitlin: What year was that?
Glenn: This one I remember- this one I remember very distinctly, we shot- because we shot a lot of it on the streets of Philadelphia.
Charlie: I remember that as well.
Charlie: I remember writing it as well, like not me writing it, but I remember, uh-
Rob: The writing of it?
Charlie: -the process, the writing process.
Charlie: Um, Jordan. Uh, I don't remember people's names. The writer.
Glenn: Oh, Jordan and Elijah.
Charlie: Jordan and Elijah.
Glenn: Right. The writing team, Jordan and Elijah.
Glenn: They-they-- That's right. Did they-- that was-- this was their idea.
Charlie: I think it was their idea-
Glenn: I think you're right, yeah.
Charlie: -that they pitched us and we were writing in a warehouse-
Charlie: -in Culver City.
Glenn: That's right.
Rob: I remember that warehouse well.
Charlie: Maybe one of our worst writers offices we ever had.
Rob: Yes. But, the building was--
Charlie: Uh. And it was across the street from where we filmed.
Charlie: So, I do remember that. [laughs]
Kaitlin: Um, it's the year we got married.
Charlie: Was that the year you got married?
Rob: That's the year we-we-we made it official.
Rob: Yep. That was late in the year. It was September, uh, of that--
Glenn: September of 2008.
Charlie: After we filmed the season-
Glenn: You guys had the wedding.
Kaitlin: Oh yeah. First, I broke my back in-in J-July.
Kaitlin: And then we, um, got married in September.
Glenn: Didn't you--
Megan: Oh, how's your foot?
Glenn: You broke it in 2008?
Kaitlin: Foot's good. My foot's great guys. I did, uh, just a few months before the wedding. I wasn't sure if I was gonna be able to walk down the aisle.
Glenn: Oh for fuck--
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Kaitlin: I figured it out. You know.
Charlie: Yeah, we got you down.
Rob: We got you down the aisle.
Kaitlin: We got it done.
Charlie: We got you down the aisle there.
Kaitlin: We got it done. Yeah.
Glenn: You're wearing like a Rickety Cricket back brace.
Charlie: You were on like in a field in Malibu right? So like-like how did- like in a--?
Kaitlin: It was at the winery, yeah.
Charlie: So that's not easy terrain to get up and down.
Rob: You were frolicking in a field.
Kaitlin: Yeah, we were- we were in a field, you know?
Glenn: It's like a keg party, right? Like in the field?
Kaitlin: There was a bale of hay that we all sat on.
Rob: There was some kind of lacro-- I think it was a- like a lacrosse field, or something like that?
Glenn: Yeah, there were hayrides and-
Glenn: -fucking cows and shit.
Charlie: Yeah, you were like the- like the-
Kaitlin: It was dusty. A little dusty.
Charlie: -the highway overpass thing where the grass grows, and you know, before you–
Glenn: I'll tell you what, that was a fun wedding. I remember the dance floor was poppin’.
Kaitlin: It was a fun wedding.
Glenn: The dance floor was poppin’ off that night.
Rob: It was popping.
Glenn: And everybody had a real good time.
Charlie: Did we go from the venue to another venue to dance? No, it was right out there. It was all right out there.
Glenn: It was all there.
Kaitlin: It was all right there.
Charlie: It was all there?
Glenn: It was all there in the giant field.
Kaitlin: Right in that big old blank field.
Charlie: Right in that big old blank field.
Rob: We went-- We transitioned from a lacrosse field to a basketball court.
Kaitlin: Oh so you went real sporty. I was just thinking of just like dust.
Glenn: Well, that's 'cause we come from that, right?
Kaitlin: Oh, yeah.
Glenn: Like you come from the dust and-
Kaitlin: I'm picturing like cows-
Glenn: -the fields of Oregon.
Kaitlin: -and like, I'm meant to blow my nose. There's gonna be brown snot.
Glenn: It's gonna be brown. Yeah. That's it-it-it-it was- it was very reminiscent-
Charlie: A picturesque field.
Glenn: -of uh, being- being at a keg party in, uh, in Montgomery, Alabama.
Glenn: You know, where you- you-- Boy, those were back in the day when you didn't have a phone, and you had to get directions. It was like literally like-
Kaitlin: That's tough.
Glenn: -look for this fucking sign.
Glenn: Look for this there. You'll see a gate.
Glenn: You'll see a fence.
Glenn: And then like two dirt roads past that you turn right and just--
Kaitlin: Somebody's truck will be there.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll see. Yeah.
Rob: And somehow, you made it?
Glenn: Every time
Rob: You figured it out.
Charlie: Yeah. Every time.
Kaitlin: You'd never, "Come and get me."
Charlie: Well, we just can't find it.
Rob: And your parents couldn't check on you?
Kaitlin: Yeah, how did that work?
Rob: There was no, "I'll be home at whatever time I'm home or I'm or I won't, I don't know."
Glenn: Oh, man. Wow. It's like a treasure hunt, you know. It was like a- like a--
Kaitlin: Thank god that's done. Speaking as a parent.
Charlie: Yeah, that's the one improvement. I think the GPS thing's been great.
Kaitlin: Oh, right, and a person who likes to know where they're going. That too.
Charlie: The social communication aspect of it, I don't think, has been so good, but the GPS.
Glenn: The GPS. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Charlie: Not bad.
Glenn: Every time I think about giving up my smartphone, I'm like, "There's a couple things on there. My calendar, my GPS," you know?
Glenn: My to-do list app that I like.
Kaitlin: Oh God.
Glenn: Tell you guys about that later.
Kaitlin: [laughs] You don't wanna dive into that?
Glenn: Really like fuckin’ organize my day. Right.
Rob: Let's watch the- let's watch the show.
Megan: Guys we'll talk about what you like about your phones.
Charlie: We got stuff to do.
Rob: Yeah. That’s–that’s what we do.
Megan: All right. Great. Well, we're gonna watch this episode, which I have to say has one of my favorite D and Charlie storylines in it.
Charlie: Oh yes.
Megan: And you guys are the best pairing, so-
Charlie: That's true.
Megan: I'm so excited for this.
Kaitlin: Thanks Megan.
Glenn: I resent that. I resent that.
Megan: And at any point that you want me to stop, just say, "Stop it."
Rob: That was-- that's- that's so perfect. Like, their chemistry was like crackling right in front of us.
Glenn: All inspiring.
Rob: You saw the whole thing. You know, he says yes, she--
Charlie: I did that intentionally, though.
Charlie: It was a bit, it was a bit.
Glenn: He was doing a bit. It was a good bit.
Charlie: Are you excited to watch this episode?
Charlie: Are you?
Glenn: Yeah. I like our show.
Charlie: I do too, usually, but this is one of the ones where I feel like-
Kaitlin: You don't like this one?
Glenn: You're not sure about this one?
Kaitlin: I don't know- I don't know this one.
Glenn: It's funny.
Charlie: So broad with the eating of people. So broad
Glenn: It’s funny
Kaitlin: Oh, this is the-- Right, right, right. You’re wrong. No this is a good one.
Glenn: The-the-the-- Your st-- Meg is totally right. Your storyline, yours and Kaitlin's-
Meg: It's so good.
Glenn: -you guys are on fire in this one.
Glenn: And I just-- My favorite moment- one of my favorite moments of yours in general and on the show, in general, is in this episode, and it's you eating that fucking subway sandwich like a bird.
Kaitlin: The sandwich? Yes.
Glenn: Like a fucking- like you're pecking at it like a chicken, and it is the funniest-
Meg: And the morgue.
Glenn: -one of the funniest things you've ever done.
Megan: It is so funny that thing in the morgue.
Kaitlin: That hurt my neck.
Glenn: Mm-hmm. I bet. Here we go.
Charlie: Would you describe this piece as more savory or succulent?
Dee: Well, it's definitely way too overcooked to be succulent, but it's still maybe delicious.
Charlie: It's still savory, right?
Charlie: Now, what if we soaked it in beer? Do you think that would help it like, regain its succulence?
Dee: Like a beer rub?
Dee: That's actually really smart. Matt, grab us some beers.
Rob: Bite my bird.
Glenn: You would never say that now.
Charlie: Oh dude. Dee is cooking like a great steak. Frank's got this like whole-
Glenn: Bite my bird.
Charlie: -fridge full of delicious meats that I've been stealing. You guys wanna try some of this?
Dennis: Somebody who sweats as much as you should not work with food.
Frank: Charlie, you son of a bitch. I told you to stay away from my meat. Spit it out.
Charlie: Come on, man.
Frank: Spit it. Spit it out, now. Now. You spit.
Charlie: You're such a selfish jerk.
Frank: Hey, I killed a deer. I should get to eat it. That's the natural order.
Mac: Wait, you shot a deer?
Frank: That's right. 10-point buck, right between its soulful little eyes.
Frank: Since always. I'm a great hunter.
Dennis: How does hunting a defenseless creature make you a good hunter?
Mac: Yeah. You should go after something that could at least defend himself. I mean, you know, a really great hunter would go after something that could hunt him back.
Mac: Like a man.
Dennis: Oh, hell yeah. Dude. A man.
Frank: Don't even joke about hunting no man.
Mac: Who's joking? I'm not joking. I think that hunting a man would be the only true test of a good hunter.
Frank: Oh yeah? I was hunted once. I just came back from Nam, I was hitching through Oregon.
Frank: So the cops started harassing me. Next thing you know, had a whole army of cops chasing me through the woods. Had to take 'em all out. It was a blood bath.
Charlie: That's Rambo, dude.
Charlie: You just described the plot of Rambo.
Dennis: Yeah. That's the first–
Mac: From the first one.
Dennis: First Blood.
Charlie: Yeah. I think you’re confusing the life of Rambo, bro.
Dennis: That's not the first time you've described your life in the way of John Rambo.
Charlie: In the way of John Rambo.
Megan: John Rambo.
Dennis: Me too, dude.
Mac: Just throw that out there.
Frank: No, you do not go on a manhunt.
Mac: Screw you.
Kaitlin: Oh, it's censored.
Rob: That's a- that's a terrible, uh, ADR. I think I say fuck you.
Kaitlin: You-you do.
Rob: I'm clearly saying, fuck you.
Glenn: Oh, you did say fuck you.
Kaitlin: Yeah, there is an F. Your mouth was making an F.
Glenn: You did say fuck you. Every once in a while in those early seasons, we would throw one in there just to make it funny for ourselves and--
Megan: I was distracted by your sideburns.
Kaitlin: I know.
Glenn: I was gonna say, do you guys wanna talk about my sideburns?
Charlie: That's pretty good.
Kaitlin: Wow. Yeah. Boy, were you.
Glenn: They were out of control that season. I don’t know what happened.
Charlie: You went long. You went long with the burns.
Kaitlin: You looked like you were spending a lot of time on your hair.
Charlie: Well, here’s the thing. We had a lot of different hair and makeup people. Like, they would switch out.
Kaitlin: You going to blame this on the-the hair and makeup team?
Charlie: Leo was on now.
Glenn: No, I never let anyone touch my hair.
Rob: My sideburns are the same length as Glenn's. It's just that I--
Mac: But because there's a hard edge, just not as thick.
Kaitlin: Now, did your--
Rob: So we were both going for sideburns.
Kaitlin: Yeah. But did your sideburns look like that at our wedding?
Glenn: I don't think I was intending.
Kaitlin: I certainly hope not.
Glenn: I was not intending. I don't-- I think this was a mistake on my part. Like, I- I don't think- I don't think it was-- I think it was one of those things where I didn't realize that what I'd done.
Charlie: Yeah. Okay.
Kaitlin: I think it was in. Yeah, you- you probably looked good back then.
Megan: That was a 2008 thing?
Glenn: Yeah. Now it would be just like, no sideburns. I just cut all the way up.
Glenn: You know what I mean? Just fuck it, with a mullet in the back.
Glenn: Super hip. Super hip.
Charlie: Try that one.
Dee: This one?
Charlie: Mm-hmm and get a little bit of the sauce with it.
Dee: I don't have any sauce left.
Charlie: Let's just do natural juices too.
Glenn: You're going over to his apartment to eat meat.
Kaitlin: I like that we set up a- a flower and a vase just to--
Charlie: Yeah. We got a little atmo going.
Rob: You love the meat so, so much-
Rob: -you're gonna go over to his apartment-
Rob: -to eat it. Okay.
Glenn: That's right. Going over to the apartment-
Kaitlin: The apartment I hate.
Glenn: -and- and discussing different ways to prepare the meat.
Charlie: But also, it's Frank's meat, right? So it's at our apartment.
Kaitlin: Oh, it's at that apartment. Okay.
Megan: Yeah. You-you explained that he's- he's put a lock on his-
Megan: -on his freezers, though.
Frank: Looks like you two have been enjoying my meat.
Dee: Yes. We have been, you fascist meat hog.
Charlie: Yeah, Frankie. Sharing, it's a rule now.
Glenn: Oh wait, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause.
Charlie: Oh, you gotta pause that for a second. That is from, like, some commercial from my childhood. It was like a commercial for like the-- like the Church of Jesus Christ or the Modern day Saints or something.
Kaitlin: Oh really?
Kaitlin: I remember you saying that a lot. Singing that a lot.
Charlie: A local commercial and then, uh--
Glenn: And you and your friends like stole it, right?
Charlie: We would use it and my poor buddy, uh, ha-- My buddy Chris Petit had this kid brother Andrew Petit, um, who was like nine years younger, and I think it was used a lot at Poor Andrew's, uh-
Kaitlin: Oh, expense.
Charlie: -expense. Yeah. Or just take something of his, and say, "Sharing's a rule now." And, of course, Andrew's now a like-
Glenn: Well, you would--
Charlie: -drill sergeant in the marines, and could kick the shit out of any of us.
Megan: [laughs] Is that why he became a--
Charlie: He's a gentle, very sweet guy, but, uh--
Glenn: I does-- He's very good. That's a good bit, though. Uh, uh, just taking something from someone and singing, "Sharing it's a rule now."
Kaitlin: 'Cause it's so sweet.
Kaitlin: You can take it.
Charlie: You can take what you want.
Kaitlin: And it ends it.
Glenn: It ends it.
Kaitlin: Doesn't ask permission. It's just done.
Frank: By the way-
Frank: You know what you’ve just eaten, right?
Dee: Was it venison?
Frank: You wish it was venison.
Charlie: Was it a horse?
Frank: Horse, but you had just eaten that, which your teeth have just torn apart. Your taste buds have savored. That was human meat.
Charlie: That wasn't human meat, though.
Mac: It took me all day. But I finally finished the list of 10 people that would be perfect to hunt.
Dennis: Great, and I totally respect your opinion, but I've already made a decision.
Cricket: Hey Dennis, are you sure he's coming?
Mac: Cricket bro, are you serious?
Glenn: Yeah, man. He's perfect.
Glenn: Yeah. My hair's outta control.
Kaitlin: I can't stop look-- I can't- I can't focus on the story.
Glenn: It's too much. It's too much.
Mac: There he goes. And the hunt begins.
Dennis: Indeed, indeed. This is gonna be fun.
Mac: Yeah. What do you suppose is gonna happen when we do catch him?
Dennis: I suppose we do something teabag related.
Mac: Mm, mm.
Megan: So then–
Rob: Oh, what we've set up that we used to teabag him.
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Megan: But before-
Glenn: In the first episode.
Megan: -weren't you saying it wasn't that you couldn't describe-
Glenn: No, we couldn't say it.
Megan: -what teabagging was?
Glenn: That's right. So we did balls to the chin. So we--
Kaitlin: Oh, yeah. Balls to the chin.
Charlie: But by this point--
Rob: By this point, we could say it.
Kaitlin: Nobody cared more.
Rob: So we--
Charlie: We were making them more money. So they were like, "Go ahead, say whatever you want."
Megan: “You can put your balls wherever you want.”
Charlie: I don't know- I don't know if that's--
Rob: Yeah, put your balls wherever you want, guys.
Charlie: Uh, it's funny to rewatch these things that you go in thinking like, "Oh, I don't know about this one." And then you watch them, you're like, "Oh, I'm thoroughly enjoying it."
Rob: This was the first episode that we ever watched with a m- very large audience.
Kaitlin: Oh really?
Charlie: 'Cause we watched it, like played it at Comic Con.
Rob: We watched it at Comic Con
Glenn: Oh, we played this at Comic Con.
Rob: Damon Lindelof.
Glenn: Oh my God
Kaitlin: Oh yeah.
Rob: He moderated our panel.
Charlie: Sorry, comedic convention.
Kaitlin: Yes. Thank you. Thank you.
Rob: Yes. So it's a comedic convention done at San Diego around the same time of the co- of the Comic book.
Charlie: Comic- comic, of course.
Rob: Oh, you weren't? Oh, you weren't joking.
Charlie: I wasn't joking. No.
Kaitlin: Comic is not short for comedic.
Rob: Oh, you thought it was a comedic convention?
Kaitlin: It-it'd be Com-Com if it was comedic convention.
Charlie: No, it was just that-
Charlie: -comic books, in my mind, were called comic 'cause they're short for comedic books.
Kaitlin: Com-Com. Oh, then you're right.
Glenn: Funny papers.
Charlie: In my mind, they were funny papers.
Rob: That's interesting. Comic book.
Charlie: Is that correct? Is that what a comic book is? It's a comic. It's comedic.
Glenn: I think the definition has expanded, but it may have started as--
Rob: That makes- that makes sense.
Charlie: This- this conversation is going to annoy a lot of people-
Kaitlin: Oh, yeah.
Charlie: -whose lives revolve around the comic.
Kaitlin: People are gonna have strong opinions about this.
Megan: Oh, are the comic book people opinionated? I don't know.
Rob: Well, the point is we were down at Comic-Con, and, um, we weren't sure if we were gonna fill a room.
Kaitlin: Oh, right.
Rob: We were very nervous about that-
Kaitlin: Didn't they put us in a tiny room?
Rob: -and then they-- Well, they-they wanted to put us in a tiny room.
Glenn: It was a 6,000-seat.
Charlie: Well, no–we requested they make the room smaller.
Glenn: No it was a se- They-they told us they were putting us in a-in a-- I think it was the largest. Or if-if not the largest, one of the largest-
Rob: Yeah largest.
Kaitlin: Oh, and we got scared.
Glenn: -it's like a 6,000-seat convention hall. And we were like, "This is going to be a disaster."
Charlie: It's gonna be an embarrassment.
Glenn: Like 500 people are gonna show up, and it's gonna look empty and it's gonna be embarrassing.
Kaitlin: We’re gonna feel bad.
Glenn: ''Can we figure out a way–”
Kaitlin: “To pack it.”
Glenn: “to make the room smaller?''
Rob: There was no social media, so we have no idea who's watching the show.
Kaitlin: Oh, we had no feedback whatsoever.
Rob: They're lying about the ratings. So we don't know who's watching the show.
Glenn: We hadn't done The Nightman Cometh: Live yet. We'd never been to Comic-Con. It was the first year we'd been to Comic-Con.
Kaitlin: We only made each other laugh. No one else-
Glenn: Yes, we had no fucking idea if anybody was watching the show.
Kaitlin: -as far as we were concerned.
Rob: And then 6,000 people showed up, or whatever it was.
Glenn: Yes. And they- And they could-- There were people out the door, lined up out the door, people standing. They were over capacity.
Charlie: They had to turn people away, yeah.
Glenn: Yeah, they had to turn people away.
Kaitlin: I remember that. I don't remember that this was the episode, but I remember that. And I remember being like, ''Whoa. I didn't realize anyone was watching our show.''
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Glenn: Same. It was the first time we fully, concretely, saw that people were finally responding to the show, and then, like, enjoying it.
Kaitlin: That was very cool.
Glenn: Yeah, it was very cool.
Charlie: Sharing, it's a rule now. [blows raspberry]
Glenn: I feel like I know you guys so well after working together for over 15 years, and being friends for closer to 20. But I don't know what your morning routines are.
Charlie: Oh, I don't know that I really have a routine. You know, I get up, I-I see my kid off to school. I guess I shower. I-- Yeah.
Rob: Up at 5:00, stretches 5:05, gym 5:15, maybe a meditation afterwards, maybe not, depends if I want gratitude in my life that day or not, you know?
Glenn: Oh Jesus. All right, all right, that's--
Glenn: Well, listen, I-I-I-I know all about those. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about your morning hydration habits.
Rob: Oh, yeah.
Charlie: Mm, okay.
Rob: Well, Liquid IV. of course.
Glenn: I mean, look, it-it's obvious that everyone should be doing Liquid IV, I mean, it hydrates you twice as fast as water.
Glenn: It contains five essential vitamins, and has three times the electrolytes of a traditional sports drink. So how about that?
Charlie: Yeah, I like the Concord grape. Uh, I use it before I work out. It's-it's, uh, subtle and not too sweet. So that-that's why I like the Concord grape.
Rob: I, myself, uh-- I-Interestingly enough, I like piña colada.
Glenn: I like all Liquid IV. I like that it's designed to enhance rapid absorption of water, and other key ingredients into the bloodstream, you know, with its cellular transport technology. And I really like that for every purchase, they donate a serving to someone in need.
Charlie: So go ahead and grab your Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco. Or you can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code SUNNY at checkout.
Rob: That's 25% off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code SUNNY at liquidiv.com.
Dennis: Yeah, baby. This hunt is gonna be so awesome, dude.
Mac: Yeah, bro. This is what it must feel like before you go into battle.
Dennis: Oh my God. I know, man, I'm so excited. Feel my nips.
Mac: Holy smokes.
Glenn: Holy smokes.
Kaitlin: [laughs] Holy smokes.
Frank: What the hell are you doing?
Glenn: [laughs] Look at you.
Kaitlin: I'm feeling his nipples.
Rob: This is the--
Glenn: You're still like-- You-you don't just feel them once-
Kaitlin: No, you're getting in there.
Glenn: -you're going to town on them.
Rob: Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kaitlin: Yeah. I think you're maybe seeing if you can work 'em up a little bit.
Charlie: We were planting the seeds on where we're going with your character.
Rob: Well, but I-I-I think we're also identifying what, um, what I appreciate most about when-when we're approaching a scene, or even just a comedic beat, that we're not always just going for the most profane, or like, offensive. It's the most unexpected. And I love the idea of Frank walking in, asking us what we're doing, And instead of pretending like, "Oh, we weren't just getting busted."
Glenn: Yes, that's right.
Rob: You lean all the way into it and then explain to him–
Kaitlin: Go right in.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: very, uh--
Megan: Feeling his nipples?
Rob: Yeah. Just--
Kaitlin: Feeling his nipples.
Glenn: It's the unexpected-- That's the unexpected joke.
Glenn: The-The joke that is not-- that would normally happen is we'd be like, ''Nothing. We're not doing anything-
Rob: “Nothing's happening here.”
Kaitlin: Or that-or that Dennis would want him to stop at a certain point. He's just-
Kaitlin: -really-- He's very proud of his very hard nipples.
Rob: Yeah, he's proud of the nipples.
Rob: Mac’s, Mac’s excited about it.
Charlie: He's proud of them. He's so proud of them.
Glenn: Oh, well listen. ''I'm so excited. My nipples are so hard. I'm so excited at how hard they are. And my friend is going to town on the thing that I'm excited about.'' I mean, that's-- Come on.
Kaitlin: Yeah, yeah, you just-- You wanna keep that going. Why would you stop that?
Glenn: I mean, does it get better than that?
Charlie: That's just good old wholesome fun, man.
Rob: And Mac is enjoying how hard they are.
Kaitlin: You look at him getting in there.
Rob: It makes you feel good. But he also wants to bring Frank in on the action.
Charlie: [laughs] Yeah, right.
Rob: I just wanna let you know that there are nipples this hard in this room right now.
Glenn: Well, you're not gonna-- Yeah, this is gonna blow your mind.
Kaitlin: You might wanna jump in there.
Rob: Yeah, you wanna jump in.
Megan: [laughs] All right.
Dee: Charlie, this is not right. I still have the craving.
Charlie: I have it too. I have it even worse than before, I think.
Glenn: Oh, there were flies.
Megan: Yes. So, I've always wanted to ask about this. Were those fl-- Did you bring them in? Or they were just there?
Charlie: No way we brought them in.
Rob: I don't think so.
Megan: How did flies get on the set?
Glenn: I think s-- I don't know.
Rob: No, because there was--
Charlie: We had a fly wrangler.
Rob: Well, were we still at the examiner here? Um--
Glenn: Or is this on s-- No, we're on stage now.
Rob: No, this is on stage. I-- We definitely brought flies in.
Kaitlin: W-What? I don't remember bringing flies in.
Glenn: We had a fly guy?
Charlie: I doubt it.
Rob: I think that's the joke, that the meat--
Kaitlin: I don't think you would've--
Rob: That the flies are around the meat.
Megan: It must be 'cause they're all over the scene.
Rob: They were all over the place.
Glenn: Maybe we had a fly wrangler, you know?
Megan: Fly guy, much different than a fly girl.
Glenn: Let's keep going.
Rob: Let's see if the flies keep playing a role.
Megan: They do.
Glenn: Yeah, let's see.
Charlie: Frank fed us human meat. And we got the hunger.
Dee: The hunger?
Charlie: Mm-hmm. That's how you become a cannibal, Dee. But you get one taste--
Kaitlin: Oh, there was a fly sound.
Rob: We're gonna-- We're playing up the sounds.
Charlie: None of this stuff ever satisfies you ever again.
Rob: That's either a real fly, or we put it in post or something-
Glenn: No, no.
Rob: -'cause we're putting in the sounds of it [buzzes]. I don't know.
Charlie: Oh, I'm sorry, Dee. Well, then I guess Jaws IV is stupid, okay? Because that's the exact same plot.
Dee: Before you start accusing us of becoming cannibals or sharks or whatever it is you're trying to say. I think we need to find out if what we ate was actually human.
Kaitlin: He can't follow.
Charlie: Oh shit. That's what we've been doing. I ate a [bleeps] donkey, Dee.
Dee: Charlie, you don't understand me. I think we need to try a piece of human flesh.
Charlie: I like that Jaws IV joke.
Megan: [laughs] Yeah.
Glenn: That Jaws IV joke is great.
Charlie: “Then I guess Jaws IV is stupid.”
Mac: You put something sticky all over his face and then sprinkle it with shaved pubes.
Dennis: No, I don't like it.
Mac: What? What's not to like? Cricket with a face full of pubes? Hilarious.
Dennis: But where are we supposed to get that many pubes, man.
Mac: We shave.
Dennis: Well, that's gonna be problem. I laser. It's like a turtle shell down there.
Megan: It's canon.
Glenn: Cannon, that's canon.
Megan: 'Cause you can't grow 'em back once you laser 'em off.
Glenn: Yeah, I know the laser makes it go away forever, kills the follicle.
Charlie: Is that right?
Megan: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Glenn: Yeah, that's right.
Megan: So you guys have to remember that if we ever do any full frontal Dennis stuff. That he's-
Kaitlin: Mm-hmm. Just wax it.
Megan: -smooth as a turtle shell.
Rob: I don't think that's gonna be a problem.
Glenn: We can't forget- We can't forget.
Charlie: Never forget.
Charlie: We brought beer.
Dee: How are you?
Charlie: “We brought beer.”
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie: And a hot plate.
Dee: –friends of one of the dead people that you have in there.
Charlie: Very close friends.
Dee: We wanted to spend some time-
Charlie: Spend some time, maybe.
Dee: –to say goodbye.
Charlie: Say goodbye to her, him or--
Dee: To him.
Charlie: He had--
Dee: A long life that was good.
Morgue Guard: What's the hot plate for?
Charlie: [laughs] Good question.
Dee: The hot plate is because--
Charlie: Our friend was a-
Dee: He was a chef.
Charlie: -a chef. Right.
Dee: Of small plates.
Charlie: [laughs] Small plates.
Dee: He just heated it up.
Charlie: And we thought maybe if he saw or was near the hot plate one more time–
Dee: It’ll make him feel.
Glenn: It'll make him feel--
Morgue Guard: I'll give you guys the same deal I give everyone else. $50 gets you 10 minutes alone.
Glenn: [laughs[ Yeah, yeah.
Charlie: Are you kidding, me, guy?
Dee: Okay, you've got the wrong idea. That's pretty gross.
Charlie: Wow, you have the wrong idea about us. We were just gonna come and have a bite.
Dee: Uh, uh, uh.
Morgue Guard: I don't judge you guys--
Glenn: [laughs] Uh, uh, uh.
Morgue Guard: And a popsicle stick in my mouth.
Charlie: L-L-Let's just give this guy his $50.
Charlie: I think that was that guy's improv.
Rob: That was his improv, yeah.
Kaitlin: I think a lot of this was improvised.
Glenn: Yeah, a lot of it was improvised.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, he was- he was good.
Dee: I don't think I can eat this guy.
Charlie: No, I don't think I can, right? What is that?
Dee: I don't know.
Kaitlin: Oh boy. Uh-oh.
Charlie: It's not because he's Black though, right?
Kaitlin: No. What? No, I don't think so, no.
Glenn: You're not sure.
Charlie: It's because he's dead, right?
Dee: It's because he's dead.
Charlie: It's because he's dead.
Dee: That's why not.
Charlie: Good. Good. Good.
Megan: [chuckles] That's why--
Charlie: Now I got a question for you.
Charlie: Is it racist if we don't eat this guy?
Dee: Well, shit, Charlie. Now it is, I'm telling you.
Charlie: I'm sorry, Dee. Just the white guy over here looks better to me for some reason.
Dee: He looks so much better, doesn't he? What is that?
Charlie: You know what it is? I-I-- Generally, I don't eat dark meat.
Dee: No, I prefer the white meat. I always have.
Charlie: Yeah, so it's not that guy-
Dee: No, it has nothing to do with that.
Charlie: -It's this guy. It's--
Dee: The problem is I'm gonna have a really hard time, if we're both cannibals and we're racist.
Glenn: Getting caught up about feeling racist when you're about to eat a human.
Charlie: This isn't Washington now, okay? We're just here to eat some dude.
Dee: You lost me with Washington, but the rest I agree with. So let's eat a piece of this white guy.
Charlie: Let's get him.
Glenn: Let's get him. [chuckles]
Charlie: I don't think I can do it.
Dee: No, me neither.
Charlie: That means we're not racist.
Dee: Yeah, I guess so.
Charlie: Okay, okay, okay.
Glenn: That's amazing.
Kaitlin: That's a great scene. I-I thought I was gonna be uncomfortable and, uh, I-I ended up being very proud of myself.
Glenn: No, that shit's funny.
Rob: That's amazing.
Charlie: That shit's funny.
Glenn: That shit’s fucking hilarious.
Charlie: I do not like the dark meat of like a turkey.
Kaitlin: Oh see, I'm a big fan of the dark meat.
Kaitlin: Yeah, that was- that was good acting on my part.
Glenn: On a turk–on a turk–
Kaitlin: I love the dark meat.
Charlie: Yeah. Okay.
Glenn: It's moister, juicier.
Kaitlin: Oh yeah, yeah. Fattier.
Frank: Hey, street rat.
Frank: I'm here to help you turn the tables on Mac and Dennis.
Cricket: What do you mean?
Frank: They drew first blood, not you.
Cricket: They, what?
Danny: They drew first blood.
Glenn: [laughs] Going for it.
Cricket: What is that? Is that Rambo?
Frank: No, I made that all up.
Frank: Come on. Let's go. [laughs]
Rob: I like the way- I like the way-
Charlie: [laughs] ''Nah, I made that up.''
Rob: -we're coming off of Season Three. And we have-- I remember having the conversation of saying, "Okay, we tried something, we got a little broad.”
Rob: But maybe we wanna reel it back in a little bit." And this is what we do. I mean arguably 10 times broader than anything we've done.
Megan: That line reading from Danny, though. ''They drew first blood.''
Glenn: ''They drew first blood.''
Megan: First blood. [laughs]
Charlie: I think this was the last thing we shot this season.
Glenn: I was just gonna say that.
Kaitlin: I do.
Charlie: I think this was the last thing we shot this season yeah.
Glenn: I think you're right. I think you're absolutely right. 'Cause I remember it was super late.
Glenn: And it was like, "Okay, we're done. Just let's just get through this."
Charlie: Let's get through this and let's go party.
Glenn: Yeah, let's go drink our fuckin' faces off.
Mac: Holy shit.
Dennis: Holy shit, dude. Holy shit. "Tag, you're it," with a knife? What the hell is this man? Why're you laughing? Stop laughing, dude, this is serious shit.
Dennis: Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? You gorilla masked face?
Mac: Bro, you gotta admit, that is so much more awesome than tea bagging.
Dennis: Oh, yeah? Take a look at your mouth. You tell me.
Mac: You put your balls in my mouth while I was sleeping?
Dennis: Yeah, man. Twice.
Mac: That's rape. That is borderline rape.
Dennis: You got a lot of pubic hair.
Mac: Well, not anymore.
Dennis: Yeah, I guess not.
Glenn: That is so gross.
Rob: These guys are roommates. They're in their 30s at this point.
Rob: How old were we, 30? 31?
Rob: No older than that.
Glenn: Early 30s. Early 30s.
Rob: No, I was, we got married, I was 31.
Charlie: It woulda’ been nice if we played a little enjoyment about you having a blue tongue. If there was a little hint to that. We didn't know we were going in that direction.
Glenn: We didn't know.
Rob: We knew, we knew, we knew, we know.
Glenn: Sure, we knew, yeah, yeah.
Megan: It was assault. He wants to have balls in his mouth with consent.
Kaitlin: That's right.
Rob: Yeah, with consent, that's all.
Charlie: He wants to be awake. He doesn't want to--
Kaitlin: He doesn't wanna miss the whole thing.
Dennis: We need to set a trap.
Mac: Yeah. And how do you catch a cricket?
Dennis: With a giant bird.
Glenn: Here we go. Here we go. There it is.
Charlie: You're eating that cheesesteak like some kind of giant bird, you know?
Dee: I can't help it, Charlie. I got an insatiable hunger--
Megan: I'm sorry. We have to talk about that. It's amazing.
Glenn: It's amazing.
Megan: And the sound of the paper.
Kaitlin: I ate the paper so hard.
Glenn: I think we may have enhanced that sound a little bit.
Rob: Oh, we enhanced that big time.
Megan: It’s so funny.
Kaitlin: I just- I just remember it-it started hurting so bad, 'cause my neck was like stiff, and it starting to hurt–
Charlie: Yeah it hurts.
Kaitlin: –but I was like, "No, no, this is so- it feels so funny. Just keep going."
Glenn: It's worth it.
Megan: I love that you call it out immediately after you're eating that burrito, like some sort of giant bird.
Charlie: Yeah, I was just watching that, and like, did we feel like we had to do that so we knew what you were--?
Kaitlin: So that you-- In case people were confused about what I was doing?
Glenn: I'm sure if it was--
Charlie: No, no, to be like that's who Glenn was talking about? No, right?
Glenn: Yes. No, no that-that well yeah, I mean, that is what we're talking about. We're gonna trap Cricket with the bird.
Charlie: I know. But then do-
Glenn: So to have her--
Charlie: -I repeat the line, so that.
Rob: To clarify.
Kaitlin: To tell the audience.
Charlie: Did we feel like the audience- the audience would need to know?
Glenn: We definitely didn't need to do that.
Kaitlin: I think you didn't believe in me. That's what I think.
Charlie: I doubt that. We gotta do more hallway scenes.
Dennis: Goddamn, dude. These are not coming off, seriously.
Mac: Oh no, they're not going to. I used airplane glue. That's gonna be your look for a while.
Glenn: I think that's my mom.
Rob: Oh, yeah, that is.
Charlie: And that's your mom straight down the hallway.
Rob: That is your mom.
Glenn: I-I knew she showed up at one point-
Rob: Yeah, that's her.
Glenn: -and I was just looking at that. Yeah, so I think like--
Rob: We put all of our parents are street urchins.
Glenn: Yeah, right. Exactly.
Charlie: Not Tom and Mary Day. They've not appeared as street urchins.
Rob: Not yet, not yet.
Kaitlin: No, the Olsons haven't either. Those haven't either.
Charlie: Yeah, there's still time.
Glenn: They were just there visiting when we were shooting this-
Kaitlin: They tossed them in.
Glenn: -and uh, we just tossed her in there.
Kaitlin: And your dad-
Rob: My dad was in the previous.
Kaitlin: -and your mom.
Glenn: My dad has not been on the show.
Charlie: No, no.
Kaitlin: My parents have not.
Glenn: I don't think. But, yes uh, that's my mom, everyone.
Glenn: If you're watching the episode, the homeless lady passed out.
Kaitlin: Lookin' good. Looking good.
Megan: Do you explain to her, like, "We're coming off the scene where people are trying to choose the human meat that they're eating. And then we're coming to this--"
Glenn: She was thrilled. I don't know how much of it I-I explained to her.
Glenn: No, this was just like, "We're in Charlie's apartment building and there's always people passed out in the hallway."
Mac: What the hell is going on here?
Dennis: Who is this?
Dee: No, no. We don't wanna know his name.
Charlie: We don't wanna know his name.
Charlie: I don't wanna know his name.
Kaitlin: Just basting him up.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, basting.
Charlie: What? Oh my God no. What are we doing?
Charlie: You know what, kid? You gotta get outta here.
Glenn: I mean talk about broad.
Rob: [laughs] She's so desperate. Not to let him go.
Dee: If we don't eat this kid, we are gonna die, and you know it.
Glenn: He's just learning now. He's just learning.
Kaitlin: No, it's not. No come.
Charlie: Run back to the streets.
Dee: Damn it.
Mac: So you were gonna eat that kid?
Glenn: That's great inflection. So you were gonna eat that kid?
Mac: Hello? Hey Frank.
Glenn: Is that jealous for Jesus?
Glenn: Is that jealous for Jesus?
Now I'm jealous of Jesus
And all that he's done
How can I compare
To God's only son
He walked on the water
And I can't even swim
I'm jealous of Jesus
She's so love with him
Glenn: Yeah, that's jealous for Jesus
Charlie: Which was, the library music, right? Like–
Glenn: Okay. So yes. So the first time that song, that we decided to put, I guess, in as your phone ring, uh, we heard that when in the abortion episode in Season One. Was it when you were in the car actually banging the girl?
Rob: Yeah. Yeah.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jealous for Jesus is playing. And it was just a library song. Just like a cheap song that we found.
Rob: And this was of an era, this dictates us, where ring tones were all the rage. Everybody had a ring tone.
Glenn: Yes. You'd take, you take a piece of a song-
Glenn: -and make it Into a ring tone.
Glenn: So we thought.
Rob: And that was all like a huge business. There were-
Kaitlin: Oh yeah.
Rob: -there were companies-
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Rob: -that were sprouting up all over the place-
Kaitlin: Brand new technology.
Rob: -so you had paid 90 cents for it or whatever.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we thought we thought it'd be funny to carry that through and have jealous.
Rob: State of the art.
Glenn: Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely state of the art.
Frank: Mac and Dennis, prepare to be burned alive. This is the point where I would normally burn you alive.
Frank: I just did it to prove a point. And I think I made my point.
Dee: Frank, hey, Frank. Hey Frank.
Charlie: Hey man, hey, Frankie.
Dee: It's good to see you.
Charlie: Good to see you, man. Look, can you get some more of that human meat?
Kaitlin: Bodies, please?
Frank: Are you still going on about the meat?
Glenn: Bodies please? Bodies, please.
Frank: I didn't feed you human meat. It was a raccoon.
Frank: You ate raccoon meat.
Frank: I told you it was people because I wanted to freak you out, because you're stealing my food.
Dee: No, no.
Charlie: No, then why am I always hungry? And I have stomach pains.
Dee: It hurts.
Charlie: And nothing satisfies my hunger.
Frank: You probably got a tapeworm.
Megan: See that's what grounds it to me. Because that's why.
Glenn: That's right. No, that is- that's-that's exactly right.
Charlie: It's more grounded than I remembered, which is that we never actually get it, and that we just think-
Kaitlin: We don't eat a man.
Charlie: -that's what we want.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah exactly.
Megan: But you're so hungry all the time.
Megan: You don't know where the hunger is coming from-
Megan: -and that's why you start to act like crazy and you can't sleep and stuff.
Megan: That's-that's why it's brilliant.
Glenn: Yes, you're it, yeah.
Mac: Okay, are we done here? Because we are bored as shit.
Cricket: No, no, no, no, no, not yet. Get ready-
Glenn: I love that he thinks he's got us.
Cricket: -for a mouthful of strawberry blonde hair [they chuckle] covered balls. Frank, grab 'em.
Frank: We're not doing that.
Glenn: We're not doing that.
Cricket: What do you mean we're not doing it?
Frank: I lied.
Frank: What is it with you people? I mean you guys are always touching each other's nipples, putting your balls in each other's mouths.
Rob: This is real.
Kaitlin: This is so real. I was just going to say this–
Glenn: This is real.
Rob: This is real. This is Danny coming to us and being like, "I don't-- Your generation and your idea of what's funny, what is this?"
Kaitlin: Why is it so funny to touch each other's balls and nipples?
Rob: Why are you guys always talking about putting your balls.
Glenn: I would occasionally every once in a while, just like go and like just touch he-Danny's nipples, just to see how he--
Kaitlin: And he hated it.
Glenn: And he-- He fucking hated it-
Kaitlin: He hated it.
Glenn: -but then eventually he realized that I was getting too much satisfaction from him hating it.
Kaitlin: And so he had to let you.
Glenn: So he had to start letting it.
Mac: That's left is to figure out what to do with Mr. Cricket.
Dennis: Yeah. Oh, what to do? What to do?
Mac: I guess, it's just us.
Dennis: Yeah. It's just you and us and a couple of pairs of sour, sweaty balls.
Kaitlin: So much chewing.
Charlie: What the fuck?
Kaitlin: Chewing is always funny, I don't know. Chewing is always good.
Rob: So weird. I mean, we were 30. I mean, this is not a bunch of kids getting together.
Glenn: No. Yeah, e-exactly.
Rob: These are adults.
Glenn: We like to look back on this and go, "Ah, you know, we were kids.
Kaitlin: We were kids.
Glenn: We were kids. We were kids doing this. No, no.
Charlie: We were creatively young. You know?
Glenn: Yeah, physically, mentally and socially.
Kaitlin: Physically old and mentally young. Yeah.
Rob: Yes, yes.
Charlie: I'm getting pretty burned out.
Rob: I noticed that. Do you need a break?
Charlie: Well, you know what? I'm giving my all, doing these ads-
Charlie: -week in and week out, and I feel like it's time for a vacation.
Rob: Didn't you just get back from a vacation?
Charlie: That's right, I just got back from vacation, Rob. I need another one.
Rob: I could use a vacation too. And of course Glenn's literally on vacation right now.
Glenn: Oh yes, yes. Sorry, having a little bit of trouble following you guys. I just got back from the beach and I'm a couple margaritas d-d-d-d-deep.
Rob: Well, clearly it's peak vacation season.
Rob: And today we salute all of those who make a getaway truly great and memorable.
Charlie: Sure, I mean, you got your hotel concierge, right?
Rob: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Charlie: Uh, who-who else you got? The tour guides.
Glenn: Yeah, a good charismatic bartender is always fun.
Charlie: Well, you know outstanding talent is crucial for a successful business. And when you're uh, hiring, if you are hiring, you can find talent for roles like these and more at ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/sunny.
Rob: That's right. ZipRecruiter uses its powerful technology to find and match you with the right candidates for your job. Let the machines do the work for you, people.
Glenn: Yeah you can even invite your top choices to apply to your job. I mean, boom. Work smarter, okay? Not harder. Get that hiring done. And you too can be sipping margs at the beach in the middle of a weekday, like this guy.
Rob: Travel to this easy to remember web destination, ZipRecruiter.com/sunny. That's where you can try ZipRecruiter for free.
Charlie: Again, that is ZipRecruiter.com/S-U-N-N-Y, sunny.
Glenn: ZipRecruiter. The smartest way to hire.
Kaitlin: Yeah, what other things do you wanna compliment about me in that episode, or-or really any-any of the episodes? Isn't that what this is for?
Glenn: I think-- For one, maybe we'll save some of the compliments.
Rob: Well, it's not your first appearance on the podcast. You have--
Kaitlin: No, but it's been a while and I've done a lot of episodes. I feel like there's room.
Glenn: Yeah, you have done a lot of episodes. Too many maybe.
Rob: I think maybe you should petition--
Kaitlin: Wait. Hold on. Hang on.
Megan: I'd like to know, what's the worst thing they've ever made you do on the show?
Glenn: Here we go.
Kaitlin: The worst things are the best things though.
Rob: We've-- A, we've never made you do anything.
Rob: Let's just be 100%--
Kaitlin: 100% consent.
Megan: Uh-huh, sure.
Kaitlin: I've consented to all of it.
Megan: That's good.
Kaitlin: Um, nothing inappropriate, except sleeping with and marrying my boss.
Rob: Yeah. I guess.
Kaitlin: That's about it. The bog thing was really, uh, painful.
Kaitlin: That the bog in the eyeballs.
Glenn: Why don't you-- Just because we don't know if, uh, you know, you're gonna be with us when we cover that episode, boy is that's gonna be--
Rob: It's a long time from now.
Glenn: It's a long time from now, so why don't we just--
Kaitlin: And I might be dead.
Charlie: We don't know if we'll even be able to keep this up for that long, right? Like, there's--
Rob: I don't know. The people keep listening. Guys, I was just in New York City-
Rob: -and I- I- I- I meant to text you a-- And then I was like, "I-- there's no, if-if I keep texting them they won't believe me," how often I was walking around and someone would walk right up to me with earbuds and say that they were listening to me as they were walking.
Glenn: Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Rob: Including one guy who was downtown who was walking and looking at his phone and, like, looked up and then just turned and put his phone-
Kaitlin: Oh, that's weird.
Rob: -and he was looking, watching the podcast, walking down the street in New York City-
Kaitlin: He should look up, that's dangerous.
Glenn: That is dangerous, yeah.
Rob: -and listening to it.
Glenn: That is dangerous and antisocial.
Rob: It made me very--
Charlie: A lot of scaffolding in New York you know? Be careful.
Glenn: A lot of scaffolding. They're still building it. They haven't finished it yet. They're close.
Kaitlin: No, uh, are they?
Glenn: They're close. Every time I go to New York, I'm like, "You guys, you're almost finished."
Charlie: “Almost done over here.”
Glenn: "You're almost finished," just fucking construction. "We're almost fucking finished over here, relax."
Charlie: “Take it easy.”
Glenn: “It's always going to be this fucking noisy.”
Charlie: “Almost done with your fucking city, all right? Don't be so impatient.”
Kaitlin: It's hard for me to hear you do accents.
Glenn: You know what I would love to do--
Kaitlin: I get-- I start to get sweaty.
Charlie: Oh, you get uncomfortable with accents.
Glenn: Oh, come on.
Glenn: Even in--
Megan: You're not winking, so it's okay.
Kaitlin: I just had to put my armpits together just in case.
Charlie: Yeah, 'cause you don't like an accent.
Kaitlin: Just in case I get going.
Charlie: And yet you became an actor.
Kaitlin: Yeah. I don't know. By the way, if I just overhear it, it's usually okay. It's when someone's like doing it to me, I feel like-
Kaitlin: -"Oh God. I'm supposed to pretend that I think this is fine."
Glenn: Oh, yeah, that I understand, that I get, that I get.
Glenn: But that was not- that was us doing a bit and you're not, you know--
Kaitlin: But I'm here and I feel very much the focus of the attention right now.
Megan: But you don't need to--
Glenn: You should chime in.
Kaitlin: I think I should probably--
Charlie: Should dig deeper on that's. I think there's more underneath that.
Kaitlin: I should be a meme, this should all be to me.
Glenn: There's something underneath that. This should be all to me.
Kaitlin: I only have limited time here guys. This should all be to me.
Rob: Well, speaking of that, I feel like, um, one thing you- you've been- you've been doing a lot of tv-
Rob: -and you haven't- you haven't done a lot of films. You haven't done a lot of the films that you were interested in. I know you're a big Steven Spielberg fan, and we haven't heard from Steven in a while, um, he does check-- Yes. Steven- Steven comes in-
Kaitlin: He calls in.
Rob: -from time to to time-
Charlie: He calls in. he calls.
Rob: -he calls in.
Glenn: He calls in the show. He's a big fan.
Rob: He shows up every once in a while and I feel--
Charlie: He's a big fan.
Glenn: He doesn't like to be on camera, but he- but he does, every once in a while he'll pop by and- and, uh--
Rob: Do you wanna see if we can get him on the phone, and then maybe he can talk to Kaitlin just about like what--?
Glenn: Well, see if he's got any questions for Kaitlin?
Rob: Yeah, see if he's got any questions-- Or, and if you maybe will have any questions for him. Maybe.
Glenn: I think that's a good idea.
Glenn: I think that's a good idea.
Megan: I have him on speed dial, so I just--
Kaitlin: You guys have Steven on speed on your old phone?
Charlie: The problem is he's so busy, he don't always pick up.
Steven Spielberg: Hello.
Megan: Oh, hi Steven. We have, uh, Kaitlin on the podcast today.
Steven Spielberg: Is this Meg?
Megan: This is Meg. [chuckles]
Steven Spielberg: Megan, how you doing over there?
Megan: Oh, I'm good. We've got Kaitlin in the studio, and we were just wondering--
Steven Spielberg: Kaitlin Olson?
Megan: Yes, Kaitlin Olson, the one and only.
Steven Spielberg: Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Kaitlin Olson, she's in the studio right now with you guys?
Megan: She is, yeah.
Steven Spielberg: Wait, are the guys there?
Megan: They-they are.
Steven Spielberg: Hey guys.
Rob: Hey, what's up Steven, how you doing brother?
Charlie: What’s up Stevie.
Glenn: How's it going buddy?
Steven Spielberg: It's good, it's good. Hey, listen, just, uh, you know, cranking away over here. I got, uh, producing, what is it? Jen, how many movies we producing right now? 47.
Kaitlin: What? Hello? Mr. Spielberg, hi.
Steven Spielberg: Is this Kaitlin?
Steven Spielberg: Is this really you?
Kaitlin: Yeah. Yeah.
Steven Spielberg: You're not usually on the podcast.
Kaitlin: No. No, they never let me on, but they did this time-
Charlie: Yeah, she's here.
Kaitlin: -and I can't believe my luck. Um, hi, how are you?
Steven Spielberg: I'm doing very well. God. I'm so- I'm nervous. I- I- I don't--
Steven Spielberg: I don't get nervous around a lot of people, but I do get nervous at the- at the thought of talking to you.
Kaitlin: That is scary.
Steven Spielberg: I have tried to get you in so many of my movies, and you're just never available.
Kaitlin: I-I-I haven't heard a thing about this. This is the first I’m hearing of this. Who are you going through?
Rob: Oh, well, I can say this, sometimes we will get calls checking avails. While we’re shooting.
Kaitlin: What? Here?
Charlie: Well, we never really know when we're gonna shoot the season, so we try to just say you're not available all year round-
Kaitlin: That's not fair. You guys are always working.
Charlie: -and then--
Glenn: I know but--
Charlie: Well, yes, because we don't know when we're-- Yes, we're gonna to work, but--
Kaitlin: So you say I'm not available?
Charlie: Well, yes, because we need you to be available.
Rob: Yes, because we might be.
Kaitlin: To Ste-Steven Spielberg?
Charlie: Well, he's got other options.
Kaitlin: You guys suck.
Steven Spielberg: I do have other options, but I gotta say you're very talented young lady, and uh, I would love to get you in one of my movies at some point, but [chuckles] you know, I gotta say, it really hurts the number of times you said no to me.
Kaitlin: I didn't. I didn't. Charlie, did you hear him?
Kaitlin: He just said that he's-- they're the ones that are saying no, I didn't say no. I would say- I would say yes. If you wanted to ask again [laughs] I would move things around.
Steven Spielberg: Okay, kid.
Charlie: Speaking of moving things around, so, uh, West Side Story, I saw the musical. What was the thinking about changing the order of like the order of the songs?
Steven Spielberg: I'm not-- You know, I have not seen the final cut of that uh, so I'm not totally sure what you're talking about.
Kaitlin: You never did, huh?
Steven Spielberg: Uh, I've got about 47 movies in, uh, various stages of production right now-
Kaitlin: That makes sense.
Steven Spielberg: -and [chuckles] I can't watch 'em all.
Kaitlin: That makes sense.
Steven Spielberg: You can't watch 'em all. All right, listen, speaking of guys, I really got to run.
Charlie: Wait, uh, sorry. So what about Rob and Glenn? You got anything for them in any stuff you're doing? You know? Any opportunities like–
Rob: Yeah, have any like–
Steven Spielberg: No.
Kaitlin: Thank you so- Thank you so much.
Rob: Okay, she won't be available.
Charlie: Sorry if we-- we didn't mean to pressure him.
Megan: Bye Mr. Spielberg.
Rob: Bye Mr. Spielberg. Thank you Steven.
Charlie: See you Ber.
Glenn: Kaitlin, uh, always a pleasure.
Kaitlin: Thank you so much-
Kaitlin: -for having me in your studio. Megan, you did a wonderful job.
Rob: Yes you did Megan.
Megan: Thank you.
Rob: And Mara and team. I mean, there’s a lot of people
Kaitlin: And Mara and team. I, just, yes, that's true. That was very rude of me.
Megan: You can come back literally anytime.
Kaitlin: Is that true?
Megan: Mm-hmm, yes.
Kaitlin: Is that--?
Glenn: Let's not bring your little eye friend next time, shall we?
Kaitlin: I can't guarantee that. [laughs] This guy doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
Charlie: That one might be here to stay.
Kaitlin: It's us from now on.
Charlie: That might be here to stay.
Kaitlin: We're a package deal.
Glenn: We're package deal now. Okay, well you hear it here guys.
Rob: It’s sort of a two-hander anytime you hire her. We gotta– we should let Steven know.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Glenn: Oh, what uh– It's the new comedy duo.
Kaitlin: Oh, boy. Yeah. I'll make him funny. Don't worry.
Rob: Olson and Stye.