On the pod, the guys revisit The Great Recession from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5, Episode 3.
Megan Ganz: Maybe I’ll start the episode this way.
Charlie Day: Dead air, with us just on our phones?
Meg: Yeah.
*Laughter*
Rob McElhenney: I’m just–I don’t wanna waste any of the conversation.
Charlie: I don’t either. And also, I’m sure you guys feel the same. There’s always like a million emails and things to–
Meg: Hey Glenn, what’s up?
Charlie: There he is. He’s in the building.
Rob: He’s in the building.
Glenn Howerton: What’s up dudes?
Charlie: Yo!
Rob: There he is! Oop, no.
Charlie: Well, there he goes. There he goes.
Rob: *Chuckles* That’s known as a false start.
Charlie: Mm-hmm. That’s a football term. That’s a football term.
Rob: That’s a football term. We’re not gonna– we’re not gonna be talking about American football–
Charlie: Do you need to talk about it?
Rob: No, I don’t mind, I don’t mind.
Charlie: There he is!
Rob: There he is! Hey! Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning. Oh, no, no he’s not— he’s still doing his thing.
Charlie: He’s kinda’--
Rob: Yeah, he’s kinda– I thought, we already–
Meg: There’s like a whole system.
Rob: Yeah.
Charlie: 8:45 was the email.
Meg: 8:45–but we did say to get tested for a 9 AM start. So he’s–
Rob: He’s on time, he’s on time.
Charlie: He’s on time.
Meg: He’s still–
Rob: He’s on time. You’re right.
Charlie: He’s on time. We’re not–
Rob: God forbid things start a little early when–
Charlie: We’re not dogin’ ya. We’re not dogin’ ya. We’d love to, but we’re not.
Rob: everybody’s busy. But, go ahead. Go ahead.
*Laughter*
Charlie: God forbid though. God forbid.
Meg: This is the not talking portion.
Rob: No, we go silent again.
Charlie: *snoring sound*
Meg: *Laughter*
Charlie: Oh man. *Singing a tune*
Rob: Now, to be clear and fair to Glenn, he is 6 minutes–7 minutes early. Right?
Glenn: Yeah. I’m super early.
Rob: You’re super early. You’re super early.
Glenn: Super early.
Charlie: Fantastic.
Rob: I just didn’t want you to feel bad.
Charlie: Fantastic.
Rob: ‘Cause I know how bad you’re feeling.
Charlie: He’s got a new band shirt. Which the fans will like. Ya know?
Glenn: What’s that? Oh, band shirt? Yeah.
Charlie: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And it’s new!
Glenn: The–the band is new? The band’s not new.
Rob: The band’s not new.
Charlie: I know the band’s not new. The shirt is new.
Glenn: It’s, it’s, not that new.
Charlie: No?
Glenn: But I haven’t– I haven’t worn it that many times. I have two of ‘em. And I think I got–I think I grabbed the one that I don’t wear as much.
Charlie: Okay. Well–
Rob: Now, I noticed that you flipped up the cuff.
Glenn: I’ve got a large and a medium and this is the–this is the large.
Rob: Sleeves a little long.
Glenn: So the sleeves are a little long on it.
Charlie: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: So I flipped the–I flipped it a little bit, yeah. I don’t like it–
Rob: Looks nice.
Glenn: I don’t like it when the–I wish that t-shirts were made–let’s get into this. I wish that–
Charlie: Comin’ in hot!
Rob: Tell us what’s wrong with t-shirts.
Charlie: What’s wrong with t-shirts?
*Laughter*
Rob: You know what the problem with shirts–
Charlie: The problem with t-shirts is–
Glenn: You know what the problem with life is?
Charlie: Bum-bu-dum-dum-dum.
Glenn: Is when you’re the type of person who has a fuckin’ opinion about everything. You know what I mean? When you got like a strong take on like everything.
Charlie: Uh-huh.
Glenn: You’re like, “I just wish that t-shirts…” Now, this–but in all seriousness, I, I wish that t-shirts sleeves were just a little shorter. I don’t know–you–I can’t seem to find one that is the sleeve length that I want.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. You want like a Vinnie Barbarino look.
Glenn: And, and–
*Laughter*
Charlie: And length sorta stopped going Vinnie Barbarino, right?
Glenn: I don’t need to go full that. You know what I mean?
Charlie: Yeah. It’s like, coach dad now. But like, you don’t want that. You still wanna be able to be like, “I could work on this car if I need to. And–”
Rob: Yeah.
Charlie: You know, “not get grease on my mid arm.”
*Laughter*
*THEME SONG 2:53*
Glenn: You were at the Super Bowl.
Rob: I was at the uh–
Glenn: Correct?
Rob: The Super Bowl. Yeah.
Glenn: Now that’s an event held every year for uh–for creeps and listeners who aren’t familiar with uh, the sport of American football.
Charlie: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: Um–
Charlie: Are they planning on doing it every–like every year? Or–
Glenn: I think that’s the plan, yeah.
Charlie: Wow. Wow.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: For the foreseeable future, yes.
Charlie: Right. So then, does–in that regard then is like, is there any point to it, at all?
Glenn: Well yes. Because–
Rob: Good question, good question.
Glenn: every single person that’s on those teams represents that town that they’re from.
Charlie: Got it.
Rob: Now, I have–I have an interesting thing in my household. Where I have uh, one son who, who has taken such great interest in it, in, in football. Sports in general. And he’ll–and he just absolutely loves the NFL and he watches every game. He’s both and Eagles fan, and a Chargers fan ‘cause he lives in Los Angeles. And so he’s really embraced it. I have another son–
Glenn: Not a Rams fan?
Rob: No, likes the Chargers. And uh, another son–
Glenn: *Inhales*
Meg: *Laughter* He’s got a strong opinion.
Rob: Yeah, he’s got a strong opinion. I have another son–
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ran hot! That’s San Diego’s team, let’s be honest.
Rob: another son who does not give a flying fuck about the NFL. Watching football on Sundays.
Charlie: Sure.
Rob: Now, he does watch soccer–
*TIME STAMP 4:11*
Glenn: He and I would get along very well.
Rob: He watches football, global football with me on Sun–okay on Sunday. So but then, he–I brought him to the NFC championship game, and my one son was just all over it. And my other son was just sitting there, not–truly not caring at all.
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Rob: And he was excited because we were excited. But, then, then he asked me subsequently, “Why do you care about this?” And I said, “I don’t know how to explain it.” I don’t–
*Laughter*
Glenn: Wait. Can you explain it? Actually, can you try to explain it? ‘Cause–
Rob: I, I, I, I can–
Glenn: Because I don’t–I can’t figure out–I would love to care about–I actually do enjoy watching football.
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: I really do. I, I, I really enjoy it. What I don’t enjoy, is the fact that a one hour game lasts four hours.
Rob: Well sure.
Glenn: That’s ridiculous.
Rob: I would say, I can explain it this way. Well, now first of all, he does watch so–foot– I’ll call it soccer for our, for our audience.
Glenn: Let’s call it soccer because that it was it was originally called anyway.
Rob: He watches soccer with me and he’s a big fan of Wrexham and he watches soccer with me every Saturday morning. And he’s, gung ho for Wrexham. He just doesn’t care about American football. I will say in terms of caring about pro–
Glenn: That’s interesting.
Rob: I know. Caring about professional sports and why you should care about it, or why people do.
Glenn: Mhm.
Rob: Um, I’ve got another whole television series that’s about this very thing. And if you just checked it out–
Charlie: Ah, yeah you should check it out.
Rob: You should check it out, it’s called Welcome to Wrexham.
Glenn: I just don’t care to watch it. You know what I mean? I just don’t care for, I just don’t care.
Rob: That’s fair. But if you just check out just the first five to ten minutes, you might see why other people across the globe, have embraced the television series. And–
Charlie: I will say, growing up in New England and with my buddies. And everyone was like a Red Sox fan and so. It, it has been a bit of a bummer to be out in Los Angeles–
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: And you lose a little bit of that–even though people–
Rob: It’s a sense of community.
Charlie: love the Dodgers. And they love the Lakers. And they love the, maybe the Rams.
Glenn: “It’s called community, hun.”
*Laughter*
Charlie: “You’re losing that community, hun.” There’s just, you know, the sports bars, and the–
Rob: It’s fun.
Charlie: the gathering is more spread out here.
Glenn: I think that’s the problem for me. Is having grown up all over the world. And, and not always even in The United States, and then, settling in a state that doesn’t have any great professional sports teams, like Alabama.
Rob: Well, you could “Roll Tide.” Well–
Glenn: That’s not a professional sports team.
Rob: No, I know. But it’s still, that’s a team you could–
Charlie: It is a–it definitely is a professional sports team.
Rob: Sure.
Glenn: Well I, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie: It’s a team of kids who make a shit load of money for their–
Glenn: For their organization.
Charlie: Organization.
Rob: There is an argument to made that the Georgia Bulldogs are, are an NFL team. Could beat half the NFL teams.
Glenn: Well that–now see, why hasn’t that been done? Just an exhibition match. You know, the uh, the top NFL team versus–
Rob: Well buddy, I got a whole sport to sell you. It’s called “soccer” here in the United States.
Glenn: For fuck’s sake.
Rob: But, but, across–that very thing that you just said does exist. That’s the beauty of the English football system.
Glenn: We get it. You have a football team. You have a soccer team. Goddamn.
Rob: No, but what I’m saying is that you have lower league teams that play higher league teams. And you see that very thing happen.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: You like boxing.
Glenn: I do like boxing.
Rob: And the idea that there could be an upset, that some scrappy kid–
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: from the middle of nowhere, can beat the champ–
Glenn: I like that.
Rob: I mean, that’s Rocky. That’s Rocky.
Glenn: Okay.
Rob: *Laughter*
Charlie: No, I uh, agreed.
*Laughter*
Rob: That’s every uh, sports movie ever made.
Glenn: But even Alabama, I was there from like 10 to 18. You know? And I was an Auburn fan while I was there. But then once I left, literally nobody gave a shit. Where I went to college, nobody cared about college football. Nobody. It was all about NFL football. And then I was like, “Yeah but I don’t really been it…” I don’t know. But I mean, I did grow up, I was a, I was a Raiders fan growing up. And a, and a 49ers–I don’t know why I became a 49ers fan and a Raiders fan. But I was a 49ers fan.
Rob: You could be whatever you want pal.
Glenn: Well okay. Thanks man.
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: Appreciate that. Appreciate the permission. Um, but then I just, yeah, I don’t know man.
Rob: Lost it.
Glenn: I can’t–well it’s also, it’s also like, if the game was, well if it’s two hours. Right?
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: With commercials. I think I’d be more likely to watch it.
Rob: It’s just about finding the story. The story that you identify with and the thing that you fall in love with.
Glenn: Right.
Rob: In the same way that you could go and watch a play that’s 20 minutes long that sucks. And wanna leave after 10 minutes. Or you could watch–I’ve heard you talk about a four hour play that you were riveted by.
Glenn: Oh god yeah. It’s amazing.
Rob: Right? Exactly. Or a movie, a movie’s the same way.
Charlie: If you’re sucked into the story, you care.
Rob: You care. You gotta find ways to–you gotta find reasons to care.
Glenn: But see that’s the thing. Yes, 100 percent. And that’s why, that’s why all those shows like, all those competition shows like American Idol and stuff–it’s all about the–it’s the story. It’s not–like yes, the singing is extraordinary but it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t know the person’s background. And they don’t, you know, have a compelling backstory.
Rob: They got a whole show, a whole series for ya. It’s on Hulu now.
Glenn: Yeah. It’s Always Sunny we cover that.
Rob: Yep, yep. There’s another one.
Glenn: We do cover that on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Charlie: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: The, the show that we should really be here to talk about.
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: Uh, you know. Uh, where we talk about the reasons why competition shows work.
Charlie: Should we segway off why people watch sports, and into It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?
Glenn: I don’t–
Rob: Can I–can I tell you–I have a good segway I think.
Charlie: Great. I’d love to hear it.
Glenn: I do not care to talk about It’s Always Sunny. I really, we could talk about sports the whole time.
Rob: I have a good transition. Well, I, I have a good transition.
Glenn: I’m sorry. I will–can I just say one more thing? One of–I think that’s one of the things I always really responded to when it came to boxing. Was, *chuckles* it’s two people willing to get in the ring. The most physically like, exhausting sport, you know. MMA certainly, but like, you know, just getting your–just pounding someone and getting pounded by somebody, and there’s no teammates to rely upon. You know what I mean? Yes, you’ve got your coaches, you got your cutman, you got, you know, all this. But, like just–
Rob: The savagery of–
Glenn: *Laughing* Yeah.
Rob: One person versus another. With intent to kill.
Glenn: *Laughing* Yeah.
*TIME STAMP 9:37*
Rob: That’s what gets you off. That’s what gets you off.
Glenn: Yeah. I could get behind that.
Charlie: Now if there was like sort of like a, a gladiator sort of style. Where there was like three or four of them, and a lion loose in the ring. Like–
Rob: Sure, sure.
Glenn: *Laughter* Yeah. That sounds good too.
Charlie: Okay. So it’s not–you’re in the team aspect.
Glenn: If I know the backstory.
Charlie: If you know the backstory you’re like–
Glenn: See there’s too many people on the football team. I, I can’t memorize everybody’s backstory. I don’t have time for that shit.
Charlie: I’ll tell you what would speed it up. Get rid of refs. Just let the boys fight it out. Just play it out, you know what I mean? No penalties, just like, whatever. Just bash–bash your way up and down the field.
Glenn: *Laughter*
Charlie: You know. Noone’s upset about you know–
Glenn: Uh-huh.
Charlie: Whistles and calls. Just, just, just no refs. Just, “The clock has started, you know the rules, go.”
Rob: That woulda’ helped me out this weekend. That woulda’ helped me out.
Charlie: Yeah, that woulda’.
Glenn: Yeah, why’s that?
Rob: Well, there was one particular call at the end of the game. That uh, that was tough.
Glenn: Oh god. That was–
Charlie: Mildly egregious call.
Glenn: That was brutal.
Rob: Now–
Glenn: You talking about the holding call?
Rob: Yes, but, but–
Glenn: That was–that was–
Rob: you can’t complain about it. They shouldn’t have been in there. In that position in the first place. Um–
Glenn: Yeah. But that’s–that’s a brutal game changing call.
Rob: It is. It’s not the reason that they lost. It’s just, it woulda’ been more fun to see the Eagles with the ball at the end of the game, with, down 3. Instead of down 7 with 6 seconds left. That’s all.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, 100 percent.
Rob: But, that’s the sport.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: And I’ll say that I was pretty bummed, of course. Um, it was a great season. Now, thus far this year, I’ve watched the teams that I love and follow, lose, come in second place.
Glenn: *Laughter*
Rob: Which is essentially, which is losing. Uh, in the championship game or their, or the version there of, the FA uh, trophy final, the League final in uh, the EPL, um, or the English system. Uh, the Phillies lose the world series.
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Charlie: Correct.
Rob: The Philadelphia Union lose the MLS cup. And now the Eagles losing the Super Bowl. All in person.
Glenn: Well listen–
Charlie: Wow.
Glenn: get used to it buddy. I mean, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the second place of TV shows.
Rob: Oh, I think were like the 15th place of TV shows.
Meg: *Laughter*
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: Yeah, okay. I was just trying to give us, ourselves–
Rob: We’re number one in one category.
Charlie: Well, you can’t win if they don’t let you in the competition. You know what I mean?
Glenn: High five, from over on this side of the table.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They’re scared to fight the, the street fighter, yo know what I mean?
Rob: But my transition is that, I was–you know, I was pretty bummed, I came home, um, Leo was pretty bummed. I took my son, Leo. And we got home, and then I realized “Oh we have the podcast tomorrow. That’s something to look forward to. And I get to watch an episode of Sunny.” So I thought, “Okay. I’ll cheer him up.” He gets to watch a very few episodes of Sunny. Not quite old enough yet. But we just popped it in and we watched it and man, this episode is so funny.
Charlie: And kid friendly. And kid safe, this one.
Rob: And kid friendly. It made, it made me very happy.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: We were laughing–I’ll point out a couple of areas where he laughed out loud. ‘Cause it’s interesting to see what a ten–
Charlie: I can guess. I can guess.
Glenn: Sure.
Rob: how a ten year old can laugh–and when I was laughing as hard as I’ve ever laughed at this show.
Charlie: Let me, let me guess the, the laugh out louds that–Danny hanging himself and then popping up saying, “Don’t try to stop me.”
Frank: Don’t try to stop me.
Dennis: Oh my god.
Rob: That was me, laughing. Leo was very confused at that,
Charlie: Okay, okay.
Rob: ‘Cause he didn’t quite understand that.
Charlie: Danny cutting his finger with a knife?
Rob: Oh my, yeah.
Frank: AW!
Dee: That’s part of a–
Frank: Aw, I cut my thumb, Aw!
Dee: *Gagging*
Rob: Danny cutting his finger with a knife.
Glenn: “Aw! Aw!”
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: Slayed. I mean, we were both–he was–Leo was laughing so hard. And then I was laughing at that, and then him laughing. That I started crying laughing. And then he–
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: then that got him going.
Charlie: It’s so good. I got big Chris Farley vibes off of that.
Rob: God.
Charlie: Just a–
Glenn: Yeah. It’s his “Aw!”
Charlie: Yeah. “Aw! God!”
Glenn: Yeah, yeah.
Charlie: You know, like–they’re like, little moves, jerky moves of like a little heavy guy.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then–but then him taking his briefcase into the bathroom–
Charlie: Yeah. And going to hang himself.
Glenn: *Laughter* Going to hang himself again.
Rob: Yes.
Glenn: Ah, suicide.
Rob: Laugh out loud.
Charlie: Took some turns man. And then your guys’s conversations which don’t have like crazy twists and turns, but are very very, just funny conversations.
Rob: Well, this is where we can talk a little bit about the business of making the television series. Because that’s what–we really got boned in that circumstance. We may have mentioned this on the podcast but uh–before, but we’ll bring it up again.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: Since this is the episode. Ad sales really boned us on this one if you recall.
Glenn: Yeah. What was that buddy?
Charlie: I remember, yeah. Big time.
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: Who boned us?
Rob: Well, they reached out to us and said “Would you be interested in doing some kind of product placement.” Which we’ve done in the past.
Glenn: Sure.
Rob: Right? Coors, uh–actually we’ve done a ton of them. Um, and, they said “Dave and Busters.” And we said “Sure. It would be funny if we actually didn’t just say Dave and Busters, but like, made an episode about it.”
Glenn: Yeah. About Dave and Busters.
Rob: And like, kind of making fun of it. But also kind of embracing it. And recognizing that our audience was–
Charlie: My memory of it was too, it wasn’t also like a light suggestion. We were early in our game and it was more like “Guys, you have to do this because Dave and Busters is like, going to give the show a lot of money.”
Glenn: No.
Charlie: And it was like, “Of course we can’t force you, but we really strongly suggest you find a way to work it into an episode.”
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: And we’re like, “Oh, we’re smart guys. We can do something and talk about Dave and Busters and have it be funny.”
*TIME STAMP 14:30*
Glenn: Well, I think we also found it–like I, you know, it’s always funny when you have–make the unexpected choice of like, the characters actually like, really respecting and loving Dave and Busters.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: Leaning all the way into it.
Charlie: Well, also, we thought, “That’s a really funny place for us to have an episode. So great, let’s do it.”
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: Yes. So, so we had that going. And we–and we made that–and it’s a business. And they–and we needed to keep making the show. And they came to us and said, “We need to keep paying for the show.” And, “Would you guys help us out?”
Charlie: Yeah. We wanna make ‘em happy.
Rob: And we said, “Sure.” So, but what we didn’t know, was that they also made a massive ad sales buy for the night. So what was happening was–
Glenn: Oh that’s right. Right, so they were airing a Dave and Busters commercial. I remember that.
Rob: Yes. They were airing–it was the sole sponsor of the evening–
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: and you were watching the show where the characters are talking about Dave and Busters. Then they would cut to a commercial and the first commercial you would see is a Dave and Busters commercial.
Charlie: Yeah. I know.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: And people went ballistic.
Glenn: People were made about it.
Charlie: People were–people were rightfully pissed off. And like, you know, like, now if you go watch that in streaming, or however you’re finding the show, big deal, right? You’re like, “They’re in Dave and Busters. It’s funny.” But yeah man. Combine it with a Dave and Busters commercial every–
Glenn: Yeah but that seems like foolish on their, on their part.
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: Like, you’re actually getting less for your money in that sense because you’re turning people off.
Rob: You’re enraging people.
Glenn: Yeah. You’re enraging people.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: Yes. And that is what happened. So we–so I remember a bunch of frantic phone calls, maybe it wasn’t even that night. Maybe it was the next day we saw each other and then–and then we called FX, and we were like, “What the fuck? Like you–you completely fu–like hung us out to dry. You asked us to be your good partner and then you did something like that.” And, to their credit, they came back and said, “It was just a miss-communication and a mistake and so we apologize.”
Glenn: Well, and I want it to be clear to–I mean, you know, to be clear to the audience, this uh–when a show does product placement the money goes to the network. So it doesn’t go into the pot that–
Rob: We don’t make that money.
Glenn: We don’t make any money off that.
Rob: No. Including the ad sales. No.
Glenn: Nothing.
Rob: We don’t make any of that.
Glenn: None of that. None of that.
Rob: But, but, what it does is it justifies the cost of making the show for the network. So it’s indirectly–
Glenn: Yeah. So, right.
Rob: coming back to the show, in a sense.
Glenn: Yes. Because they’re more likely to continue licensing the show because they’re not spending as much. Yeah.
Charlie: I was doing a uh, a golf tournament thing, and uh, and this–there was a guy there. And I guess his job is like, hooking people up and connecting celebrities with things? I don’t know, he was not affiliated with me. He was affiliated with somebody else. Perfectly nice guy, not totally trying to drag him. But, he kept saying to Mary Elizabeth and I, “You know if you want, I can uh, you know, I can get you guys into Dave and Busters.”
Rob: *Laughter*
Charlie: And I’m thinking just like, “Ah, I can get into Dave and Busters. Just pop right in.”
Glenn: Just walk right in. Just walk right in.
Charlie: Yeah. Just walk right in.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah.
Charlie: I didn’t call him out–
Glenn: They’ll take anybody.
Charlie: Yeah. You’re being polite and you’re like, “Uh-huh. Yeah, oh thanks man. Thanks so much.” He’s like–
Glenn: Wait, wait. You profusely thanked him for uh–yeah okay. Go on.
Charlie: Yeah. You’re just trying to–
Glenn: Yeah. You just wanna end it.
Charlie: –make small talk. I didn’t wanna lean into it, ya know?
Glenn: Sure, sure.
Charlie: But uh, he kept doing it. And then uh, kept you know, frequently be like, “Guys let me know, you know, if you need that Dave and Busters hook up.” I’m like, “What on earth?”
Glenn: “What on earth?”
Charlie: “I can get into Dave and Busters.”
Glenn: *Laughter*
Charlie: I don’t know.
Glenn: Oh, you never figured it out?
Charlie: I let it–I let it slide.
Glenn: Oh I thought you were gonna say that you finally figured out what the hell he was talking about. Like he was gonna let you pay–
Charlie: No. I think his thing was like, he knows people who could get ya tickets like, good tickets to Lakers or something. I don’t–I don’t know.
Glenn: I will say, if you wanna get me an unlimited power card–
Charlie: Unlimited power card.
Glenn: I’ll have that conversation. I’ll have that conversation.
Charlie: Yeah. Maybe that’s what he meant.
Glenn: Maybe that’s what he meant. Maybe that’s–that should’ve been more clear.
Charlie: Well–I–then–then lead with that. Don’t tell me you can get me into Dave and Busters.
Glenn: Yeah. ‘Cause I could get in myself. I’ve got legs.
Charlie: Anybody can get into Dave and Busters. You know?
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: I was thinking last night of how many–
Charlie: I’ll use the door.
Rob: we’ve talked about how many presidential terms the show has–has seen. But I was thinking last night, in terms of the–the cyclical nature of the m–of the markets. How many–how many economic–
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. *Laughter*
Rob: Up swings and down turns have we gone through.
Glenn: Right.
Rob: And it’s, it’s, it’s really two major uh–
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Rob: Major recessions. That–although I don’t know that we can consider ourselves in a recession quite yet, right now. But like, it was like peak market when we started. It was like getting up into like 2007.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: Then it crashed. Then it came back. And now we’re–we’re–we’re in a infla–in a period of inflation right now.
Glenn: Yes.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: Which we may or may also not be dealing with on the show.
Rob: Well, we are.
Charlie: Yeah, that’s not a spoiler.
Glenn: Okay, we are.
Rob: We can talk about it, right?
Charlie: Um, yeah that’s fine.
Rob: That’s not gonna spoil anything.
Charlie: You don’t know how we deal with it.
Glenn: Yeah, you don’t know.
Charlie: We deal with it our Sunny way.
Glenn: You don’t know.
Charlie: You don’t know. You have to tune in.
Glenn: Stupid. We know.
Charlie: So what else? Uh–
Glenn: So the recession episode. Yeah. Uh, the conversations about, about uh, not understanding how money works. Not understanding how economics work. Finances work. Uh, all the–all those were very funny conversations to write and conceive of. Like, I, especially that, that, that last speech that we have where you know, where we’re trying to figure out how the money circulates. And how–
Rob: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: how a self-sustaining economy works. And not understand–not–
Rob: Well, all born out of a bunch of comedy writers in a room. Like, all asking each other, “Wait, how does it actually work?”
Glenn: “How does it work? Yeah, yeah.
*TIME STAMP 19:41*
Rob: Realizing there was nobody that took an economics class.
Glenn: No.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: No. We’re here to be funny.
Meg: It’s something like this.
Rob: Yeah. It’s just something like, the money moves around.
Meg: Because it just keeps–
Rob: Meg, could you explain how the–
Meg: No.
Glenn: Yeah, how does the economy work.
Meg: I didn’t make it up.
Charlie: I’ll tell you one thing I was right about, months and months and months ago on this podcast. And I, I feel like I got dragged a little bit for saying it though. But like, when the uh, gas prices went through the roof, and I was like, “It’s insane. I, just charge less for gas. Like uh, and maybe as an oil company you don’t profit as much.” They, you know, they just released their profits and they’re like–
Glenn: Oh, it’s astronomical.
Charlie: Yeah. Like, “Guys, we did fantastic. We did great.”
Glenn: Killin’ it. They’re killin’ it.
Charlie: Yeah. And people were like, “Charlie doesn’t know how it works.” Like, yes I do.
Glenn: Wait, who drag–who’s dragging you? People online were dragging you?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People like–
Rob: Wait a second. People online?
Charlie: People online.
Glenn: People online had an opinion about some of the things you said?
Charlie: I was right. They’re just taking your money. They’re taking your money.
Glenn: You heard it here guys. You were wrong, and Charlie was right. So shut the fuck up.
Charlie: Shut the fuck up and stop paying so much for gas.
Glenn: If you don’t know the shot, then don’t take the fuckin’ shot.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: Now these guys, don’t pay for gas, to be clear.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: Electric cars. Electric cars.
Rob: Neither does Meg. Neither does Meg.
Glenn: Now Megan, how does the economy work?
Meg: *Laughter*
Charlie: Now that being said, I also have no idea how the economy works.
Glenn: That’s why I’m asking Meg because I think she may–
Charlie: I do feel like it works with greed.
Rob: Mm-hmm.
Charlie: And uh, wealth. And greed creates wealth. And uh, when too much greed creates too much wealth and no one else has wealth, then they’re like, “Oh, now we’ve got a little bit of an issue.”
Rob: *Laughter* “Let’s start choppin’ heads.”
Charlie: “Let’s charge more for shit.”
Meg: That’s how revolutions work.
Glenn: “The meek shall inherit the earth.”
Rob: What you’re describing is a revolution, not an economy.
Glenn: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. “The meek shall inherit the earth.” Hold–hold–wait, wait, wait, wait, “The meek shall inherit the earth.”
Charlie: “Oh, fuck yeah, Cletus.”
Glenn: So, you don’t wanna be, up here, on top of this mountain on this–on this gold house.
Charlie: Yeah, damn straight.
Glenn: ‘Cause The meek shall inherit the earth. So, that’s how the economy works, isn’t it?
Meg: *Laughter* That’s how, yeah.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: We control the masses through religion. Keep the meek, meek.
Charlie: Yeah. Is meek poor? Or is meek just like, kind of like, scared of loud noises? Ya know?
Glenn: I, I think–
*Laughter*
Charlie: You know what I mean?
Glenn: It’s not a very flattering term.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: You don’t wanna be known as a meek man.
Charlie: Yeah. And it’s weirdly close to “mink”. So I think of like a little animal. Like a little–
Glenn: A little mink.
Charlie: Yeah. Dude, we know so much about the economy.
Meg: A meek monk?
*AD BREAK 22:00*
Charlie: Guys, I’m trying to hire someone to do press for me and I can’t find the right person.
Rob: You mean like a publicist?
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: Uh, no. Ideally someone who just like does it for me, so I don’t have to. You know, I give them the talking points to hit, and I say, you know, “Pretend you’re me.” Then, you know, then I go tell them to hit those points.
Glenn: Sounds like you’re the publicist then.
Charlie: Uh, no. I’m just the guy at home not doing all the press. You know, um–
Glenn: Okay.
Charlie: But one of the biggest hiring challenges of 2023 is uh, standing out to top candidates.
Glenn: Yeah. You wanna stand out.
Rob: Well, then you should use ZipRecruiter.
Glenn: Absolutely.
Rob: ZipRecruiter’s technology sends you great candidates and makes it easy for them to apply to your job. Instead of filling out a long application they can learn all about you and apply with just a click.
Glenn: Okay, so, but you–in your situation that you were describing Charlie–
Charlie: Uh-huh.
Glenn: You would need someone who looks like you, right?
Charlie: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: Like a press–uh, someone to do–a double. A press–
Charlie: A double, yeah. Ideally yeah.
Glenn: Yeah. They do let you set attention grabbing labels on ZipRecruiter. I don’t know if you guys know this. But like, you can put like, “Urgent”, “Training provided”, “Remote”, and more. All kinds of labels, you know? Maybe you could set uh, doppelganger too. Maybe you can do that, maybe you–you know, you could find out for free right now, at ZipRecruiter.com.
Rob: Get your job noticed by the best and brightest candidates with ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.
Glenn: That’s impressive. So see for yourself. Go to this exclusive web address to try ZipRecruiter for free. ZipRecruiter.com/sunny.
Charlie: Again, that’s ZipRecruiter.com/ s-u-n-n-y. ZipRecuirter the smartest way to hire.
Glenn: So smart.
*MUSIC*
Meg: This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. And online therapy service that can help you feel like your best self. We’ve heard when Charlie and Glenn feel like their best selves, on the golf course and after a cold shower. But Rob, when do you feel like your best self?
Rob: Uh, after Wrexham clinches a big match.
Charlie: Ah. And clinch a match is uh, that’s Welsh for win a game, yes?
Rob: Well, that’s english. But uh, yes. Of course that’s never a guarantee, that they’re going to clinch. Sometimes you’re supposed to win and you don’t. Sometimes you’re not supposed to win and you do.
Charlie: Oh.
Meg: Is this all to say, you wish there was some kind of sports therapy to help you cope with the stress of owning a football club?
Rob: I’m all for therapy. And if the licensed professionals on BetterHelp have positive coping skills for tough matches, like the Super Bowl. By all means, you’ve tried it, you guys have tried it, right?
Glenn: Oh yeah. Absolutely.
Meg: Yeah.
Charlie: Oh yeah, yeah. Of course, of course.
Meg: I’ve tried it and my dilemma wasn’t really about clinching soccer matches, but still I found it very straight forward and beneficial. Plus it’s flexible, affordable, and entirely online. So when I needed an expert to work with me, I was always able to find someone.
Charlie: Guys, if you want a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com/sunny today, to get ten percent off your first month. That’s BetterHelp H-E-L-P.com/sunny.
*AD BREAK OVER 25:00*
Meg: Speaking of things that you don’t know, in this episode there’s a classic quote, uh, “That doesn’t sound right. But I don’t know enough about stars to dispute it.”
Glenn: Oh yes.
Charlie: Yeah, that’s Rob Rosell.
*TIME STAMP 25:14*
Rob: That’s definitely Rob Rosell.
Charlie: That was Rob Rosell, and I remember him–
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: –pitching and writing that line and being like, “That is so good.”
Glenn: Yes.
Meg: ‘Cause Charlie thinks that he burns trash, which turns into smoke, which turns into stars.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Meg: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah, that’s a good one.
*Laughter*
Charlie: Um, we shot a lot of this in Philly.
Rob: Yes.
Glenn: Oh yeah, all the–
Charlie: It’s a good mix and match.
Glenn: Yeah. All that stuff the, with you being crab people–
Charlie: And the Dave and Busters was in Philly.
Glenn: Oh that was in Philly.
Rob: Oh yeah.
Meg: Oh, is that how you met that waitress that was uh–
Rob: Yes.
Meg: had that strong Philly “yous”.
Charlie: That was Kaitlin’s stand in.
Glenn: Stand in. Yeah.
Meg: Oh.
Dennis: That’s good Merlot. You’re gonna wanna keep those comin’.
Waitress: It might be a little cheaper if yous went with a bottle of wine instead of chugging the individual glasses.
Dennis: Mmm…
Mac: Yeah. Maybe leave the judgment back in the kitchen.
Dennis: There’s a little bit of a look of judgment on your face. Just go gram em and–
Waitress: Okay. No problem.
Dennis: Alright.
Mac: Thank you.
Dennis: Great. Oh she’s terrific.
Mac: I like her.
Charlie: Yeah.
Meg: That’s cool.
Charlie: And she–
Glenn: But she–
Charlie: She must’ve been born in Philly.
Meg: Sabrina Vittore.
Charlie: Sabrina, yeah.
Glenn: Was she born in Philly? The accent was good.
Rob: Sabrina. Yeah I think she was. She must’ve been from Philly.
Glenn: Oh–she might’ve been from Jersey.
Rob: Mm.
Charlie: Yeah.
Meg: A good “yous”.
Charlie: She was great. She nailed it.
Glenn: Yeah, she did.
Charlie: Um–
Glenn: I liked–I do like that we stained our–our mouths.
Rob: Yeah.
Charlie: Yup.
Glenn: Purple.
*Laughter*
Rob: That was–that may have been the first time we did that. And that comes back quite a bit.
Glenn: Oh, right.
Rob: Leo loved that. That killed with the ten year olds. He was like, “Are you wearing lipstick?” and I said, “No. It’s–it’s from the red wine.” And he was like, “The–red wine makes your lips red?” I’m like, “Well, if you drink enough of it.” And he’s like, “You guys drank so much. That’s so funny.” I’m like, “Well–”
*Laughter*
Rob: “yes.”
Meg: And cool.
Rob: It’s funny in this context.
Meg: It’s funny and cool.
Rob: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: “That’s funny and cool dad!”
Charlie: That’s funny. “I wanna be just like you!”
Rob: But I do like that–I do like that we, we, we, we sensed some judgment. We–I like opening the scene with us just chugging the wine.
Glenn: Oh, oh, oh yeah, yeah.
Rob: And then, and then she’s telling us it cheaper to just buy a bottle. And we don’t wanna hear any sas from her.
Glenn: *Laughter*
Charlie: I wonder if, you know I bet that we had shot the uh, intervention episode first. And then we went down to Philly to do the Philly shoot. And we were like, “It was so funny to have those red teeth.”
Glenn: Oh. I think you’re right, actually.
Rob: Yeah, that sounds right.
Glenn: I think you’re right. I think we realized, and we realized, “Well, we’ve already established that when we’re drinking lots of red wine, we have that, and it’s funny. So let’s–”
Charlie: Let’s go for it, yeah.
Rob: Yeah. ‘Cause if we woulda’ gone to Philly, at the end.
Charlie: We usually went at the end.
Glenn: We always went at the end. Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: We’d shoot everything in LA, then the last week–I’m not telling you guys, I’m telling the audience, the–we would take a week–
Meg: It’s a been a while since we’ve got back to that.
Glenn: I can just, I can just, I’m just–
Meg: Of you being worried that Rob’s just gonna jump in and be like, “I know this.”
Charlie: Yeah, it’s just–
Rob: “You’re telling me when we used to shoot in Philly?”
*Laughter*
Meg: Remember that?
Rob: You wanna relitigate that? I’ll relitigate that.
Glenn: Yeah. You wanna relitigate?
Rob: Once again, it has nothing to do–it’s the way that you’re position–
*Laughter*
Charlie: Just the sucking in the air through the teeth.
Meg: Sorry. I didn’t really want to.
Rob: I’m listening.
Charlie: Go on.
Rob: “Go on.”
*Laughter*
Glenn: *Laughing* Just seething inward. *inhaling*
*Laughter*
Charlie: Ah, man.
Glenn: Oh, nerd.
Meg: Uncle Jack back in this episode for the first time since season one.
Charlie: Right. Okay.
Meg: What made you guys decide to bring Uncle Jack back?
Charlie: He’s just so damn funny. And–
Rob: Why did it take so long?
Glenn: Any chance we can get. Any chance we can get.
Rob: Why did it take so long? I was thinking that. I was like, is this the–
Glenn: Wait, is this the first time we have him back since season one?
Meg: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: this is the first time since season one? That’s what I just said, yeah. It’s–
Glenn: Oh that’s what you were just.
Rob: It’s crazy.
Charlie: I don’t know why. Maybe we just, hadn’t thought of where he would fit in an episode. Or whatever it is.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah.
Meg: Um, I thought maybe you guys might like to watch the blooper of him and Charlie uh, talkin’ about–
*TIME STAMP 28:40*
Charlie: Please.
Glenn: I would love to. Yeah.
Meg: snuggle buddies.
Charlie: That goes back to season–
Rob: I had a memory of Charlie doing something in this episode that he, that he doesn’t do.
Glenn: What is it?
Rob: And then I thought, “maybe it’s–”
Glenn: It’s probably in the bloopers.
Rob: It’s probably in the bloopers. Him just pointing to Uncle Jack.
Charlie: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s in the bloopers.
Rob: That’s in the bloopers, okay.
Glenn: Yeah, that’s in the bloopers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: Okay. I was just waiting for that moment and then it didn’t happen.
Uncle Jack: Just me and you, paling around. Getting crazy and nuts and all sorts of things.
Charlie’s Mom: Fun times.
Uncle Jack: It’ll be fun Charlie.
Charlie: Come on. Seriously?
Charlie’s Mom: You guys can go camping.
*Laughter*
Glenn: Lynne Marie’s staying in it.
Charlie: That’s absolutely right I don’t wanna be touched. And I don’t want a grown man in my room.
Charlie: She kills it too man.
Uncle Jack: What if we set up your room, just like it was when you were a kid?
Charlie’s Mom: Yeah with tents, and a dividing line.
Glenn: All improvised.
Uncle Jack: Remember when I slept on the–
Charlie: I remember everything.
Glenn: “I remember everything.”
*Laughter*
Charlie: That got him.
Glenn: *Laughter*
Charlie’s Mom: Snuggle bunnies.
Uncle Jack: Snuggle bunny night.
Charlie’s Mom: I’m a bunny, you’re a bunny, snuggle, snuggle, snuggle.
Charlie: She’s killin’ it.
Charlie: I survived my childhood by the skin of my teeth.
*Laughter*
Rob: Now, we definitely would’ve used that if–
Glenn: If you hadn’t smiled.
Charlie: If I kept a straight face.
Charlie: Not getting nuts with you dude.
Uncle Jack: We can get nuts today.
Charlie’s Mom: Oh you boys.
Glenn: *Laughter*
Uncle Jack: Boys will be boys.
Charlie: Boys will not be boys.
Rob: “Boys will be men.”
Glenn: “Men will be men.”
Charlie: Men will be men and act like men now.
*Laughter*
Glenn: “We can be men.”
Charlie: “We can be men.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. “We can be men.”
Glenn: “We could be men.”
Charlie: Oh, he’s so good.
Rob: Okay.
Charlie: And then she’s so good as well.
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: Yeah. Just in it. In it.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: Total pros. Now this was hard to explain to Leo. Because I was laughing so hard and he was–
Glenn: Oh yeah. Right.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: he was like, “So why is this funny?” And I was like, “Well because the older man is inappro–inappropriate.”
*Laughter*
Rob: “He’s just being inappropriate.” And Leo’s like, “Well how? Why is he inappropriate?”
Charlie: Oh boy, yeah.
Rob: “Should they not be–” ‘Cause they talk about wrestling.
Glenn: “He’s his uncle. He just wants to have a good time with his nephew.”
Rob: Right. And, at some point he says something about wrestling. And how you guys are gonna wrestle.
Charlie: Mm-hmm.
Rob: And you say, “But Uncles–” like “Uncles don’t wrestle with their–with their nephews.”
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rob: And Leo was like, “Why can’t Uncles wrestle with nephews.” And I was like, “Well the next scene is starting so let’s just watch.”
*Laughter*
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Meg: “Let’s watch that instead.”
Glenn: It’s just some Uncles, Leo. Some uncles aren’t, shouldn’t be allowed to wrestle–
Rob: “Let’s not pick it apart, kid.”
Charlie: Yeah. Every time I think an episode is maybe passable or appropriate I’m like, “Well this–yeah okay, there’s this scene and that scene.”
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: Well, and this is why the show with my kids. Yeah.
Charlie: Yes.
Rob: Yeah. This is pretty cl–this one–this is a close one. It had some big, laugh out loud moments. As we go.
Charlie: Yeah.
Meg: Him swingin’ on that thing, the visual gag of that, of the noose.
Charlie: Yeah. It’s great, yeah.
Rob: Also falls into the category of Danny just being up for anything.
Meg: Uh-huh.
Rob: Anything.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: I mean, how old was he there? He was–
Glenn: I don’t know.
Rob: 67?
Charlie: Yeah. Late 60s probably.
Rob: Late, 68?
Glenn: Yeah, I mean, he’s–he’s a pro–it’s not like we actually hung him.
Rob: Well, we did hoist him in the air.
Charlie: It’s uncomfortable.
Rob: It’s very uncomfortable. That harness goes up around the crotch.
Charlie: It goes up around your crotch.
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah. And then–but I remember we had to like work with it. ‘Cause it didn’t seem like, you know–it suspends you by your waist. And then you kinda start to tilt forward. And then it doesn’t look like the pressures on your neck.
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: So Danny had to kinda like, hoist his weight forward so that his head could go back. So that it looked like he was hangin’. And then lower his chin. But then it was a funny position to be in when he looked up and said, “Don’t try to stop me.”
*Laughter*
Meg: Yeah. And then those kicks he does at the end, like he’s trying to like–
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
*Laughter*
Frank: Tie a chair to me! Tie a chair to me!
Charlie: Times are tough, huh?
Frank: Shit.
Glenn: That was another Rosell line I remember. “Tie a chair to me. Tie a chair to me.”
Charlie: “Tie a chair to me.”
Meg: Um, I really liked Charlie sorta like, manic energy in this episode. And there’s one specific shot where you guys are like, “We’re gonna you a cha–” you tell Dee and Charlie “We’re gonna give you a chance to justify your jobs.” And you do this like, I’m so excited to like prove to you like, that, that energy.
*TIME STAMP 32:34 *
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Meg: And then, Rob’s just enjoying it. Like, it felt like you were just out of character. Just watching him being like, “I like this.”
Rob: “This guy, he’s up for it.”
Charlie: “Yeah, we’re gonna get a show.”
Meg: *Laughter*
Charlie: Um, the way that it ends is so funny too. Just be like, you guys think you’re gonna go to Dave and Busters, and I just go, “Uh.” You know. And Dee’s going, “What?” And then we just hard cut out.
Glenn: I don’t remember that being the ending. I-I rewound it, because I was like, “Is that how we end–”
Rob: There was a whole more–
Glenn: Oh, absolutely.
Charlie: I’m sure we more written and it just felt flat. And we’re like, “Just go out there.”
Glenn: I just, don’t remember–I don’t remember that episode ending that way. I don’t remember us ending it that way. I don’t know.
Charlie: No, me neither. I was watching that being like, “Okay wait, how’s it gonna end? I don’t–I can’t recall.”
Glenn: I thought I’d accidentally hit the fast forward button or something. Like, yeah. It was a little too abrupt, for me.
Charlie: I don’t know. I thought it was joyfully abrupt. Where I was like, “Oh! Oh great. That’s great.” Like, sometimes it–it’s not fun when we tuck it in too much. And then it’s like, it feels too neat. You know?
Glenn: Tuck it in too much. I like that.
Charlie: Yeah.
Meg: *Laughter*
Glenn: Yeah. I like that. Yeah. It’s like, you–just go to bed. You know what I mean?
Charlie: Slam the door on the episode.
Glenn: *Laughter* Yeah. Yell at it to go to bed. And slam the door on it.
Charlie: Yeah. “Go to bed!”
Glenn: *Laughter*
Charlie: Danny with the vacuum cleaner. And, we had written it one way and he kept saying it uh, “Because it doesn’t have any muffler.” Right? And we prob–I think we had written like, you know, “Cover your ears. This sucker ain’t got no muffler.”
Rob: Mm-hmm.
Charlie: And he wouldn’t say “Ain’t got no.”
Rob: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: He used to refuse to–to–to say that. We would write it in the script all the time. Like–
Charlie: It wasn’t intention–it wasn’t like, “I’m not–I don’t think Frank talks like this.” It’s just that he would you know, we’re moving fast, and you’re learning things on the fly. And his mind would just translate it to better english.
Glenn: It was a good choice too, to-to-to really ramp up the sound of the uh, of that thing. And make it insanely loud and then put subtitles on the parts that were like, screaming.
Charlie: Oh yeah.
Glenn: Especially Kaitlin screaming, “You jerk!”
Charlie: “You jerk!” Yeah it’s great.
Meg: In this episode uh, Dee and Charlie, well you try to fire Dee and she quits. Which is a great little moment. I was gonna ask if you guys have ever been fired from a job? I don’t know if we’ve talked about that. Have you ever been fired?
Glenn: Have I ever been fired from a–
Charlie: I feel like we did–did we not talk about that?
Glenn: Uh, what? Having been fired from something? I don’t think–
Rob: Having been fired? I’ve been edited out of various movies and television shows over the years. That’s a form a firing.
Glenn: Have we talked about that?
Meg: Yes, that we’ve talked about.
Glenn: We have?
Meg: But that’s–yes. We’ve talked about movies that Rob has been cut out of.
Charlie: We talked about the Warner Brother thing. Uh, I worked at–
Glenn: That’s would’ve really taken the wind out of a lot of people’s sails. But instead it just made your wind blow harder.
Rob: Oh it just fueled my fire.
Glenn: Just fueled your fire.
Rob: It just made the chip on the shoulder just a little bit larger.
Glenn: That’s right. Yeah. I remember you used to–I remember when we were younger, when we were young men, in our 20s and you would say, you used to tell me that like, you had this like, little demon that would wake you up in the mornings. That was basically–that like–
Charlie: *Demon noise* “Rob.”
Rob: *Laughter*
Glenn: The thing that would–
Charlie: “Rob, get up.”
Glenn: Well, no he would–so–
Charlie: “Get up.”
Glenn: The thing that would get him out of bed was this–
Charlie: “Smoke a cigarette.”
Glenn: –little demon voice in your head. That was basically telling you that you were lazy. That you were a piece of shit.
Rob: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: That you weren’t doing enough. That you were uh, yeah.
Charlie: “Good morning you mangy little piece of shit.”
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: *Laughter* Yeah.
Charlie: “Get up and write five screenplays. Smoke a cigarette”
Glenn: “First make a giant cup of coffee, smoke 17 cigarettes, and then write another script. Goddamn you.”
Charlie: “Go hook up with anyone who will hook up with you.”
*Laughter*
Glenn: That’s about right, right?
Rob: Anyone who will pay attention to you and give you the time of day.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that guy.
Rob: Yeah. That’s still there.
Glenn: “We’re gonna fill that god hole today Rob.”
Rob: A version of that’s still there. I–but I always found it–I never found it necessarily destructive.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: I found it kind of uh, but–it can very easily–
Glenn: You described com-in a comic–in comic terms.
Rob: In a comic terms, yes.
Charlie: “I love you, you lazy son of a bitch. Now get up.”
*Laughter*
Rob: Yeah. It was more like that.
Charlie: Okay.
Rob: It was more like it was an extension of myself. Not some exterior being that was saying that I was unworthy or something.
Meg: It’s Meredith Burgess from Rocky.
Glenn: Yes, yes. It’s–
Rob: It’s more Meredith Burgess.
Charlie: “Eat lighting and crap thunder today.”
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: His name was Meredith.
Charlie: Yeah.
Meg: Wasn’t it?
Glenn: Interesting.
Charlie: Uh–
Meg: Am I wrong?
Glenn: A man named Meredith.
Rob: His name is Burgess.
Glenn: Burgess–
*Laughter*
Glenn: His name is Meredith Burgess.
Rob: I mean, equally as strange, but yeah.
Charlie: That’s right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: Burgess Meredith.
Charlie: Both odd.
Meg: Oh, Burgess right.
Glenn: Right, right.
Rob: You know what John Wayne’s was?
Glenn: Uh, no I don’t. What his real name–
Rob: What his real name.
Charlie: Wayne John. I don’t know, what?
Rob: Marion.
Glenn: Oh. Marion Johnson?
*TIME STAMP 36:59*
Rob: Marion no, I don’t remember what his last na–I don’t think it–it might’ve been–
Glenn: Marion Wayne?
Rob: No it’s–
Meg: Marion Robert Morrison.
Glenn: Marion Wayans?
Rob: Morrison. Marion Morrison. Which by the way, is an awesome name too. Marion Morrison and he turned it to John Wayne.
Charlie: Kind of–
Glenn: Marion Morrison. Yeah but not as awesome as John Wayne.
Charlie: Yeah. I’m surprised he didn’t go with just the Robert Morrison.
Meg: Mm-hmm.
Charlie: But I guess if John Wayne’s on the table you gotta take that. Yeah.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did–now did those guys–like did he come up with that himself? Was he like, “I feel like I’m a John Wayne type.” I don’t know it’s not a good John Wayne impersonation.
Charlie: That’s probably, that’s how he did it.
Rob: Yeah it was back in the day, when studios were like–
Meg: Oh, he was once credited as Duke Morrison.
Glenn: Oh!
Rob: ‘Cause everybody called him Duke, apparently. That was what everybody–the Duke or Duke.
Glenn: Right.
Charlie: It was like some studio guys back in the day. Like, “Listen here. We’re gonna call you this. You know, you’re gonna do ten pictures for us. And then uh–”
Rob: But I like the idea that, that–
Glenn: “We’ll pay ya 1,000 dollars.”
Rob: That Marion Morrison sounded to ethnic.
Glenn: What?
Rob: That was the thing. They wanted to make everything seem as like waspy as possible. Like, John Wayne just feels like an American. You know, they were like, “No Jews. No Irish. No Italians. Like, let’s just keep like, right down the middle.”
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. “You can be those things. But you’re name can’t indicate as much.”
Rob: Yes.
Glenn: Right.
Meg: Fox studio chief Winfield Sheehan rejected the–his name as it sounded too Italian. And then a director, Raoul Wash–Walsh, who casts John Wayne in stuff, um, suggested “John Wayne.” Uh, because it sounded more–less Italian I guess.
Rob: Mmm.
Glenn: Kind of makes John Wayne seem like a little bit of a pussy, doesn’t it? Right? That he backed down from that.
Meg: Didn’t stand up for his Italian name.
Glenn: He didn’t stand up for his own name. His own heritage. He coulda’ said, “God damnit. I’m Marion Morrison and that’s all there is to it.”
Charlie: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: You know? And instead he was like, “I’ll do whatever you say, Boss.”
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: Fucking John–That’s not the John Wayne I know and remember.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was an actor. Um, uh–
*Laughter*
Glenn: “I used to do Shakespeare.”
Charlie: Yeah. Exactly.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah.
Charlie: Do I sing and dance in this picture. Or–”
Glenn: How did John Wayne become an actor? Did he start in the–did he start–was he doin’ plays?
Rob: He was a–he went to USC. Which is odd.
Glenn: Did he play football?
Rob: Yeah. He was a–he was an athlete.
Glenn: Okay. That sounds right.
Rob: He was huge. He was like 6’5 or something, 6’4 or 6’5.
Glenn: Right.
Rob: And he was an athlete. And then–
Meg: He was injured and lost his athletic scholarship. And had to leave the university.
Glenn: I thought you were gonna say, “He lost his knee.” Or something, ya know.
Meg: Oh, no.
Rob: By the way, back in the day when you got a scholarship to play a sport, and then if you got injured, they were like, “Okay. Get the fuck out.” Can you imagine that? Can you imagine that you–just because you tore your–your ACL, you’re halfway through your education, and then they’re like, “Yeah, you know that thing we brought you in for, you can’t do it anymore. So you gotta go.”
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: That’s incredible.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: They got rid of that.
Glenn: “Sorry, Marion. You’re outta’ here.”
Meg: He–he broke his collar bone, which as we all know, is a really injury.
Rob: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: That’s pretty fuckin’ sweet dude.
Charlie: Yeah, that’s–
Rob: Did he–did he do it shredding?
Glenn: Was he shredding? What was–
Meg: He actually did it in a body surfing accident, it says.
Charlie: So he was shredding!
Rob: He was shredding!
Glenn: He was shredding water!
*Laughter*
Rob: Wow.
Glenn: That’s pretty cool.
Meg: Yeah.
Glenn: Wait. Wait, John–wait, sorry who broke his col–I’m getting mixed up
Meg: John Wayne um–
Glenn: Sorry, Marion Morrison, is that right?
Meg: Yes. When he was attending USC–
Glenn: Uh-huh.
Meg: Um, had a broken collar bone. Which curtailed his athletic career. He later noted, that he was too terrified of Jones, who was his coach at the time.
Glenn: Uh-huh.
Meg: Of Jones’s reaction to reveal the actual cause of his injury, a body surfing accident.
Charlie: Mm.
Glenn: Why, was that? ‘Cause like a pansy sport back then? Was it?
Meg: No, I mean, I think it was probably like, “You shouldn’t be doing dangerous things instead of playing football.”
Rob: “You can’t be shreddin’ nar, when we need you out here shreddin’ bones.”
Glenn: But body surings, not really that fucking dangerous unless you’re doing it off the coast of Australia.
Charlie: “If you can’t take on a ocean wave, how you gonna take on the UCLA football team, you know? Like, let’s–”
Glenn: That’s right.
Rob: The Crimson Tide.
Glenn: That–how do you break you collar bone–do you think he was body surfing with his arms behind him?
Charlie: Let me tell you man. If you’re at like, Zuma beach, you’re out at Zuma beach–those things are breakin’ right into the shore man.
Rob: Those waves in Venice, they-they-yeah.
Glenn: Shore break.
Rob: Shore break.
Glenn: It’s a shore break situation.
Charlie: “It’s a heavy pitch brah.”
Glenn: “Brah. Yeah, brah.”
Rob: “Brah, that’s funny.”
Glenn: That’s how John–that’s how Marion Morrison used to talk.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: He’s like, “Dude–”
Charlie: “Dude.”
Glenn: “Dude, what–”
Charlie: “I was fuckin’ shreddin’ in fuckin’ Malibu.”
Glenn: “I was shreddin’ sea nar, ocean nar, okay?”
Charlie: Okay.
Glenn: “I was totally shreddin’ ocean nar, and I was like, let me do one where my hands aren’t here, but they’re like here dude.”
Charlie: “Oh, those are way deeper brah.”
Glenn: “And my buddy was like, dude there’s a crazy fuckin’ shore break Marion. You shouldn’t do it bro.”
*TIME STAMP 41:29*
Charlie: “Marion, you should not be in this wave, brah.”
Glenn: “Marion, this is not your wave bro.”
*Laughter*
Glenn: “And Marion was like, Fuck that dude. I ain’t no puss. And then he fuckin’ shredded it, and sure enough he snapped his collar bone and was like–”
Charlie: “Oh, dude.”
Glenn: “Brah!”
Charlie: “What am I gonna do now? I can’t even be an actor, I sound too Italiano.”
*Laughter*
Glenn: “Everybody’s gonna think I’m Italian dude. I’m fucked. I can’t play football. I can’t be in the movies.”
Charlie: “Italian’s will never thrive in movie pictures.”
*AD BREAK 41:53*
Glenn: Guys, today’s a very special day.
Charlie: *Gasps*
Glenn: It’s President’s day. Which serves as a humbling patriotic reminder–
Charlie: *Trumpet noise*
Glenn: –of one thing in particular. How quickly our presidents age.
Rob: That’s right.
Charlie: Wow, yeah. Look at uh, Thomas Jefferson. You know. He was only 53 when he was elected. But you know, you look at any portrait like, his hair is so gray, so white.
Rob: Hmm.
Glenn: Well, Thomas Jefferson wore a wig. It was like–it was like one of those–yeah people were wear–people wore wigs.
Charlie: He chose gray? He was choosing gray and white? Why would anyone do that?
Rob: No clue. But, on this President’s day, we are supported by Athletic Greens. Which makes no claims about preserving your natural hair color, but does help keep your body ship shape, so you don’t age pre maturely.
Glenn: In one delicious scoop in their green powder AG1, you are absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole foods sourced super foods, probiotics, and adaptogens. It also supports better gut health, better sleep, and an optimized immune system. All factors that affect your body’s aging. Uh, I use AG1 every single day and I feel significantly less old than a US President.
Charlie: Yeah. All I’m saying is like, if I had to wear a wig, I would go with like, Tommy Lee in Motley Crue. You know? Not Thomas Jefferson. I don’t wanna go with like, an old man white wig.
Glenn: Well, what about Tommy Lee Jones?
Rob: To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit Athleticgreens.com/sunny.
Charlie: Again, that’s Athleticgreens.com/sunny to take ownership over your health, and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.
*AD BREAK OVER 43:40*
Charlie: Guys uh, also on topic here, uh, what’s going on with shootin’ all the shit out of the sky? Right, we’re just, we’re just blastin’ shit out of the sky left and right.
Meg: Yeah.
Glenn: I think uh, you know. We just don’t wanna be seen as the kinda people that will allow trash to just float around in the sky. You know, we can’t be seen that way.
Charlie: Yeah. Any of them Aliens? Or all by balloons.
Meg: *Laughter*
Glenn: It’s a little–well listen. I was listening to a whole thing on the news this morning about it. And they were talking about like, “Well it was just uh–it’s very very likely that it was just–it’s just–it’s just–” you know, apparently there’s a lot of debris just floating around in the sky. And I’m like, “Uh, there’s gravity. So no.” Unless it’s a fuckin’ plastic bag.
Charlie: Uh-huh. We could be shooting plastic bags out of the sky.
Glenn: What are talking about? Like fuckin’ shi–fully formed octagons that are flying around in the sky. Just–”Oh yeah, yeah. It’s just fuckin’ trash.” Like, what are you talking about?
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: No, things fall from the sky. They don’t float around in the sky.
Charlie: I don’t know. I don’t know.
Rob: I don’t know enough about this to dispute it.
Charlie: I don’t know enough about the skies to dispute it.
Meg: Mm-hmm.
Glenn: I think it’s safe to say that uh, as long as gravity still exists, things will–are gonna fall. Unless they’re not–but, ‘cause if somethings, if something’s waving around in the sky and it looks like a fuckin’ jellyfish, it’s probably not a spy balloon. You know what I mean?
Charlie: Mmm.
Glenn: It’s just a plastic bag. You’re not gonna shoot a plastic bag down with a missile. You’re just not.
Charlie: If you’re a good shot you are.
Glenn: “If anything’s over my skies, I shoot it down god damnit.”
Meg: That’s pretty good. Um, if you did–if you were the one who saw an alien spacecraft like, about to land, and you had the ability to either shoot it out of the sky or let it land, what would you pick?
Glenn: Well I–
Rob: Definitely let it land.
Glenn: You gotta let it land, right?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Meg: What if you’re responsible for the complete destruction of humanity as we know it. Because it was uh–
Glenn: Yes. Score the evolution.
Charlie: If it’s figured out how to fly here–
Rob: It’s gonna be sup–vastly superior to us.
Charlie: More where it came from. Yeah. That’s like, yeah–
Glenn: Right. Would the assumption be that it’s up to no good? Or–
Meg: But we figured out how to fly there and we’re not that smart.
Glenn: What if he’s just here on a–on vacation?
Charlie: “What if he’s just here to fuckin’ body surf?”
Glenn: “What if he just wants to body surf nar, dude? Ocean nar.”
Charlie: “Oh, man. If I had a collar bone I would’ve just broken it. “
*Laughter*
Glenn: “Good thing I’m mostly liquid.”
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: “I have a collar sp–” You know.
*Laughter*
Glenn: Just jelly people–jelly people uh, you know, from the skies. That wanna shred ocean nar.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: On earth. That may be all they are, right? Is just, jelly people from another planet that wanna shred nar on our planet. And we keep shootin’ ‘em down. They’re just like–
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: “Fuck man.”
Charlie: Could be what it is.
Rob: We should write that movie.
Charlie: We don’t want more trash in the ocean. Um–
Glenn: Jelly people. That’s the–
Charlie: Jelly people. I’d go see that, for sure. You know–
*Laughter*
Charlie: Uh–
Glenn: “You know.”
Charlie: Interesting times were living in. You know, spy balloons and–
Glenn: So you don’t wanna postulate what may, what may be up there. You–you–you, you guys don’t wanna theorize?
Charlie: I have no idea. It’s really interesting. They’re not letting us know.
Rob: If I’m being honest, if I’m being honest, I have, I have checked out of the news cycle for the last few days. Um–
Glenn: Is that right?
Rob: Well, the–the circus of the Super Bowl in combo, with me just spending three solid days with my son. And just having a good time, and I was like, “I’ll–fuck it. I’m not gonna–I don’t care. I don’t care about any of that bullshit.” And now I’m hearing people talk about the–yeah, I don’t know. It’s probably space trash. Maybe it’s aliens. I’ll find out in a few days.
Charlie: I’m getting too lazy to read the full articles.
Rob: Yeah.
Charlie: You know? I’m like, seeing the headline, and then I’m try–skimming for like, any pertinent information. I’m like, “Come on. What are we doing? Spy balloon, alien, gimme alien. Alien, alien, alien, no alien. Alright fuck it.”
Rob: *laughter*
Charlie: You know?
Glenn: Right. You’re just skimming the article lookin’ for the word alien.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: And then when you don’t see it, and it’s just talkin’ about debris and spy balloon.
Charlie: I want–I want something entertaining to happen, you know?
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: I saw my cat fight off a hawk. I will save that for the next one.
Charlie: Alright, now we’re talkin’!
*TIME STAMP 47:37*
Glenn: I wanna–I wanna hear about this.
Rob: Well, okay. So my cat is the baddest mother fucker.
Charlie: Nice.
Rob: Cats are insane.
Glenn: Well, by the way. By the way, you describe your cat that way, but all outdoor cats are this way. Just so we’re clear.
Charlie: Special agent Jack Bauer style cat, we’re talkin’ about here.
Rob: Yes. This is a cat that grew up on the streets.
Charlie: Uh-huh.
Glenn: Yes. Street cats, outdoor cats are–are, they’re badass.
Charlie: *singing* Street cats.
Rob: Uh-huh. I’ve told the story before on the podcast. We then made him an indoor cat for about two weeks, and he just would sit by the window and just beg to go out. And I was like–
Charlie: “Let me kill.”
Rob: “This cat, he–we are now denying him the life that he wants to live.”
Glenn: That’s right.
Rob: “Let’s keep him out during the day, let him do whatever he wants. And then at night we’ll bring him in because–”
Glenn: Just covered in fuckin’ blood every night, when you bring him in. “God damn!”
Rob: He is covered in blood, three out of the seven days of the week.
Glenn: Well he’s white.
Rob: He’s white.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Glenn: So he’s like a white fur cat.
Rob: He’s a beautiful white.
*MUSIC*
Rob: He’s like–he’s the most graceful creature that’s ever been created.
Charlie: A white street cat. What a find.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah.
Rob: When he came in he had a giant big black spot on him.
Glenn: Uh-huh.
Rob: And we thought okay, “So, white cat with a giant spot on him.” And then over the course of a week and half–
Glenn: Just a fuckin’ oil stain.
Rob: It was an oil slick. It was an oil stain.
Charlie: Yeah, like–
Glenn: *Laughter*
Rob: It was an oil stain.
Charlie: Dang.
Rob: And he just licked it off him.
Charlie: Oh!
Glenn: And he’s a fuzzy mother fucker too.
Rob: He’s so cuddly. And he’ll just come up, and he’s like a dog. So he’ll just come up in your lap.
Charlie: Alright. So he’s drinkin’ oil, fightin’ hawks.
Glenn: He’s drinkin’ oil. Alright, so tell us–
Rob: During the day he’ll sit on your lap. And he’ll just like, lick–he’s just the sweetest animal.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: And then it–at night, if he–he can be a savage.
Glenn: Savage, yeah.
Rob: So, um, one of my kids, we have a out–outside of my bedroom we have like a little patio outside.
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Rob: And then, and we’re up on the second floor. And then uh, the cat–my kids left the door a little open. And you know those cats–cats are like liquids, They’re just like–
Glenn: Oh yeah. They’re like a sheet of paper. They can literally–
Rob: Yes. So they just left the door, just a tiny bit open. And the cat found his way out. And I watched this whole thing happen. And I was like, his names Moose. I’m like, “Moose, come on.” So I chase moose out and he’s–and now he’s on the roof.
Glenn: Sure.
Rob: And then he goes up to the top of the roof where there’s a peak.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: And it’s pretty high up. And so he’s up on the peak and I’m like, “I’m not gonna chase you. You–go do whatever you’re gonna do.” So I go back inside, and then–and then I feel bad. I’m like, “I gotta get the cat inside.” So, ‘cause I, I, I just gotta get him inside. I’m afraid something’s gonna happen. So I get uh–a can of cat food, which he’ll always come back for. And he just hears the sound and he comes runnin’.
Glenn: Sure.
Rob: So I, I come back out, and as I come back out, I call him and I like, I took a fork and I like, hit the can. Well, what happened was when the–when I hit the can, I think I made a sound which blew up a hawk’s spot. I think the hawk was like, like lookin’ at his pray. And Moose is still on the peak of the house.
Glenn: Wait, wait. What–he was lookin’ at–he was lookin’ at Moose?
Rob: Apparently–this happened so fast. So I hit it like, “Clank, clank.”
Glenn: Yeah, now, hawks eat cats?
Rob: A hawk–well, this hawk tried to eat this cat.
Glenn: Right.
Rob: The hawk comes out of the tree, which is right in front. I’m watching the–I got a front row seat.
Glenn: Wow.
Rob: It comes out of the tree, which is right near the peak of my house. The cat is on the edge of the peak like a gargoyle, looking down. And the hawk comes right at him and I saw Moose go, “Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum!” like, 17 jabs in half a second.
Glenn: *Punching noise* Like fuckin’ Mayweather.
Rob: And the hawk’s like, “Fuck this.” And then he goes up. And he’s comin’ back down for another dive bomb. And I’m expecting, I’m like, “Moose!” expecting him to come running back in. And Moose just stays there, and I’m like, “Holy shit he’s gonna do it again.” So the cat, so the hawk comes down again and Moose takes one more swipe and that hawk wanted none of it.
Glenn: That’s crazy.
Rob: And the hawk takes off. And then Moose just comes like, run–like running down to me. And then I like, open the door, and he stopped right outside the door. And sat right back down, outside. And I was like, “This cat. He wants more.”
Charlie: Mm-hmm.
Rob: “He wants to fuck this hawk up.”
Glenn: Bring it. Yeah. Bring it.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Rob: So he got the whole can of cat food there. I was like–
Glenn: *Laughter*
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Glenn: Nice work Moose. You put on a real show there buddy.
Charlie: Nice. Good battle.
Rob: Nice work Moose. Ni–it was a bat–it was insane.
Glenn: You should’ve named it Marion.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: Marion. That is a cool name too. Marion the cat.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Glenn: Yeah. Marion the cat.
Charlie: Cat versus hawk.
Rob: So anyway–Cat versus hawk.
Glenn: Cat versus hawk is pretty badass. Dude, you shoulda filmed it.
Rob: It happened spl–
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was too–you wanted to experience it.
Rob: It happened so fast. You ever see those reaction–the reaction videos of snakes and cats?
Glenn: Yes. Where they can sw–the–the sna–I saw a video recently–
Rob: It’s their reaction speed is like point–
Glenn: The snake was like this close to the cat.
Rob: Yes, yes.
Glenn: Like right–
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: And the cat’s just like–
Rob: Yup.
Meg: *Laughter*
Glenn: He waited.
Charlie: He waited to slap it.
Glenn: And then the second that cat–snake makes a move he’s like, “Pow, pow, pow, pow.”
Rob: It’s got–it’s something about the reaction speeds of cat–of cats are–it’s point 2, 3 milliseconds faster than snakes.
Glenn: You would think–we’ve all seen a snake like, do that.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: And it’s faster than that.
Meg: Cat like reflexes.
Rob: Cat like reflexes, yes.
*TIME STAMP 52:20*
Glenn: Cat like reflexes.
Meg: Yeah.
Rob: Well–
Charlie: Hawks, also very–
Rob: Hawks!
Charlie: –fast.
Rob: Yeah. And they have those giant talons. And this thing came down like *hawk noise*.
Charlie: Now, if it’s a peregrine falcon, “Fastest animal in the world.”
Glenn: “Fastest animal in the world.” As we have established.
Charlie: “Fastest animal in the world.”
Rob: I don’t know enough about falcons to dispute it.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. That’s true.
Glenn: Yeah, no, he’s right. The–a peregrine falcon is the fastest animal on earth.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: Really?
Charlie: Fast as hell, boy!
Glenn: Yes. Because it can dive at over 300 miles per hour.
Rob: *Gasps* Wow
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: It literally gets–it literally turns itself into a fuckin’ missile and then just like–
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: Launches itself.
Charlie: What’s the hawk–what’s the hawk’s move there too? With a pray that big.
Glenn: Grab it.
Rob: I think they grab it and they take it’s head and drop it.
Glenn: Drop it. They just fuckin’ drop it.
Rob: Ooo. Guess what? If he did that, Moose would land on his feet.
Charlie: Yeah. Maybe, maybe.
Rob: And he’d be like, “Fuck you. Come down for more.”
Glenn: “Bring it bitch. I broke all my fuckin’ legs, I’ll still take you out.”
Charlie: Or sprout some like, surprise wings that the hawk had no idea.
*Laughter*
Glenn: Like a griffin?
Charlie: It’s like, “Plop! Check this fuckin’ out. Now I’m comin’ after you.” Yeah.
Glenn: Yeah, like a griffin.
Charlie: “I can fuckin’ fly.”
Glenn: “Surprise bitch! I’m a griffin!” Right?
*Laughter*
*END CREDITS*