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Episode #63

The Gang Hits the Road

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63. The Gang Hits the Road

On the pod, the guys revisit The Gang Hits the Road from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5, Episode 2.

Charlie Day: Oh man. Oh, you got your Wrexham scarf on.

Rob McElhenney: I put my scarf on. Um, you know, you gotta enjoy the wins. I, I just watched a Wrexham win. We’re top of the league. Um, we’re in first place. And that feels good. And I know that’s, I know this isn’t a Wrexham podcast. But it’s part–

Charlie: It’s good, it’s good to be number one.

Rob: It’s good, it feels good to be in first place.

Glenn Howerton: Mhm. 

Charlie: You know what else feels good? Uhhh, watching this episode.

Rob: Maybe my favorite episode thus far, during the rewatch.

Megan Ganz: Really? 

Glenn: Truly–

Charlie: Up there for me too.

Glenn: It’s, it’s up there. Probably one of my, top ten episodes of all time. 

Charlie: Same.

Glenn: Feel like I say that a lot. But, um, yeah uh. You wanna do us an intro? Meg? You wanna, like…

Meg: Yeah. Um, sure. Uh, we’re getting right into the episode. Don’t, none of you are comin’ in hot.

Charlie: You know–

Glenn: No, let’s see–

Charlie: No, let’s give the fans what they want. They wanna hear us talk about the episode. This is a good one to talk about. We’re in the process of working on the show. So it feels like it’s very present in our minds, how things happen. And, and, how, how they happened. Let’s get into it.

Glenn: Well, I mean unless we wanna give some people some context of where we are. We are one day out, from production, on season 16 of Always Sunny–

Rob: Yes we are.

Charlie: Livin’ tomorrow, baby!

Glenn: in Philadelphia. We start filming, tomorrow–

Meg: Mhm.

Glenn: and, we’re finishing things up. Uh–

Charlie: We’re in good shape.

Glenn: we’re a little behind, on uh a few things. But–

Charlie: No more than other seasons.

Glenn: Nope.

Charlie: We usually have one script or two that we’re like, okay we’re gonna be workin’ on those in our trailers.

Glenn: That’s right. That’s right.

Charlie: Uh, we got it though. That’s where we’re at. 

Glenn: I, it’s fun to watch an episode like this though. Because it gets me excited to act. 

Charlie: Yeah. Me too.

Glenn: To transition into acting on the show.

Charlie:  Me too. It’s a good like, uh, it can feel like this, we’re doing something right. 

Rob: Mhm.

Meg: Great.

Rob: Very inspiring.

Glenn: Very inspiring.

Rob: It is very inspiring. 

Charlie: Meghan, let’s tell the audience what the episode is about.

Meg: Yeah. So, uh, it’s Season 5 episode 2 is what we’re discussing today. The Gang Hits the Road. It aired on September 24th, 2009. Was written by, Charlie and Glenn. And directed by Fred Savage. “The gang tries to expand the horizons by going on a road trip to the Grand Canyon, but they hit a few speed bumps along the way.”

Rob: Mmmm.

Glenn: Oh. Yeah.

Rob: More than a few! 


Glenn: Right. Charlie, I remember writing this episode with you. Uh, it was the first year we were in these offices on the Fox Lot.

Charlie: Mhm.

Glenn: However, we were one floor down from here. We’re on the fourth floor. We were on the third floor, when we wrote that. We were in the exact office, below the office that we’ve–

Charlie: Mhm.

Glenn: been writing this entire season from.

Rob: And as all the creeps can tell, it, it’s so inspiring.

Glenn: It’s very inspiring.

Charlie: The decor is very…yeah.

Rob: It’s so inspiring. And by the way, Meg put these up.

Meg: Mhm.

Charlie: Yeah, I don’t know if they can see ‘em.

Rob: Just to have something to break up the walls. Otherwise–

Meg: It’s just white walls.

Rob: it’s just a white room.

Meg: Yeah.

Rob: Uh, with windows! Which are, which are nice.

Meg: Mhm.

Glenn: Sterile. Very sterile.

Rob: Very sterile.

Glenn: But I like to start from a sterile place. You know, before I get things dirty. 

Charlie: Okay.


Rob: You like the purity of the–

Charlie: Well, yeah. It forces you to go somewhere else in your mind, and that is your imagination. And that’s where stories come from. 


Glenn: Yes, it is. He’s right. He’s right.

Charlie: But Glenn, uh, tell me about what happened.

Rob: *Laughter*

Glenn: Well–

*Opening Credits 3:11*

Glenn: We had a lot of fun.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: We were having a lot of fun. Um, I, I don’t remember exactly how specific and extensive the break was. But I do remember that it came to us very very quickly. And, we had a draft, an entire draft of the episode done by the end of the first day of writing. With it, which is outrageous. Um, it just happened very very quickly. And I don’t even think we changed that much. We, we always, you know we went back through it. And we, ‘cause it had only taken us a day. We were like, let’s just take another day and, and go back through it and make sure everythings as good as it can be. But, it just flowed really mostly–

Charlie: Yeah. You can tell like, watching it and, my favorite thing is when we’re writing and ya hit, ya hit that thing where the writing is actually doing the breaking for you. So like, you’ve done some breaking, but you’re coming up with things and how you execute a scene. That you’re like, oh we’ll, we’ll actually pay this off later. So things that I imagine were in there as, as we were like writing it. I, I, remember these kind of things coming up. Like, probably like the pee in the window joke. And stuff like that. But yeah, I don’t, this was–

Glenn: Do you remember, do you guys remember where the, all the fruit stuff came from? Or that–

Rob: Scott Marder.

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, so.

Rob: Our writer, Scott Marder. 

*TIME STAMP 04:36*

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: This sort of thing that he–

Glenn: Scott Marder had never had a blueberry I believe.

Rob: He had never eaten a blueberry. And–

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: We just couldn’t believe that–

Meg: That’s right.

Rob: that a person had never tasted a blueberry.

Glenn: It was astonishing.

Rob: And that was just the beginning. Then we really got into listing all the things that he had never eaten. An apricot.

Charlie: Uh-huh.

Rob: A pear.

Glenn: Uh-huh.

Rob: And it wasn’t just fruit specific. 

Glenn: No it was–

Rob:  It was vegetables. It was other like, certain kinds…like a chicken sandwich.

Glenn: Very common.

Rob: It was very common–

Glenn: Very very common foods. Like extremely common foods. Not rare foods, not exotic foods, very common foods.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: And he had not had a number of them. It wasn’t, you know, it’s very…it’s one thing when somebody’s, like I don’t, I know it’s weird, but I don’t like blueberries. Okay, I get that. A little weird. Blueberries are delicious. But I get it. Never even tried one.

Rob: Never tried ‘em. 

Glenn: Never even tried them.

Rob: But every once in a while he’d bring in like, smelling salts. And he’d be like, let’s do these today.

Glenn: Yeah. Sure.

Rob: And he’d smell those.

Charlie: How do you get that far in life without trying a blueberry?

Glenn: Well, you know, that’ll be a question for when we do the Marders on our podcast.

Charlie: Yeah. Let’s save that for when these guys…he’s not here today, right?

Meg: He’s not here today.

Charlie: Yeah.

Meg: But, they have agreed that they will record a podcast.

Charlie: We’ll bring them in–

Rob: Oh! Thanks!

Glenn: Oh, you are going to deign us with your presence. 

Rob: Oh will you? We’ve only kept you employed for 15 years.

Glenn: Well, no–

Meg: You guys are missing fun conversations with them in the writers room. Like uh, Rosell and I talked for an extensive period of time about nitrous the other day. Which was fun.

Rob: Sure. 

Charlie: Yeah.

Meg: ‘Cause I was gonna go get some for like a little, outpatient procedure. And he was like–

Glenn: Oh yeah! What happened with…did, did, did you have the nitrous?

Meg: Yeah, I did. And I–

Glenn: How was that?

Meg: It wasn’t as good as I thought it was gonna be. 

Glenn: It’s not.

Meg: I thought it was gonna be strong and it was fine.

Charlie: Mmm.

Rob: Yeah. 

Meg: They were like, it feels like a warm blanket, kinda like come, like, kinda, sitting. And it was good, but I don’t think it the strength of the kind that Rosell was telling me about. Which was when you just huff off of a–

Charlie: Yeah.

Meg: Off of a–

Charlie: Out of a balloon. 

Meg: Out of a can. 

Charlie: At a parking lot at a Phish concert.

Meg: Yeah. And then–

Glenn: Sure. *Laughter*

Meg: you, you basically go, you go braindead for 30 seconds. And then–

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: You go braindead.

Glenn: Everything just goes, woah, woah, woah, woah. 

Rob: You fall down. And then like

Glenn: Right? Isn’t that–

Rob: Yeah. That’s what it is.

Glenn: That’s what I remember. I remember there always being this woah woah woah woah woah woah.

Meg: That’s the sound of your brain dying. 

Glenn: That’s what it is. It’s the sound of the blood trying to–

Meg: Um, but yeah, it wasn’t as good. But you know, it was because it was administered to me by a doctor and not a whipped cream can. 


Glenn: Not officially–

Rob: Not a 14 year old who, who, had the cracker. 

Meg: Yes.

Rob: Do you remember that was the thing that actually got into the nitrous. Was the, was the cracking tool.

Glenn: No I don’t know what you’re talking about. 

Rob: Then, then, then you didn’t do whippets.

Meg: *Laughter*

Glenn: No. I did whippets, I did whippets with the–

Rob: Oh, oh, oh, oh, the big, you did the big nitrous tank.

Glenn: I did…yeah, yeah. We had, we had tanks. 

Rob: Well, you know, you could buy the individual ones.

Meg: Yeah.

Glenn: Oh. Yes.

Rob: It was the same as like the keg tap. Whoever had the cracker, is the person who had the tap.

Glenn: Yeah. 

Rob: That was the, that was the, the tool that would allow you to crack the thing open. And then fill up a balloon. Ya know, it was just another 15 year who was in charge of the cracker.

Glenn: I just, I just now that I’ve got kids, I just–

Meg: *Laughter*

Rob: Had enough.

Glenn: don’t want to think about that. For my kids, I, I’m happy to say I probably only did, I could probably count on two hands the number of times I actually did it. Maybe 3, hands. Uh–

Rob: Sure. But you hit a certain point where you realize, okay I’m gonna stop doing that because I, I truly believe–

Meg: Yeah.

Rob: I don’t even love the sensation that much.

Glenn: It’s not that great. 

Rob: I’m just gonna experiment with it. And then I realized I’m actually killing myself.

Meg: Mhm.

Rob: And then there were the kids who were like, I’m gonna do this everyday.

Meg: Forever.

Glenn: Forever. 

Meg: Forever. 

Rob: And then you realize, well, you’re gonna do lots of things every day and…hey look, to each their own.

Meg: Speaking of things that make you pass out. From the episode, I did notice on this rewatch, uh, very funny choice for when you guys light the wicker chairs on fire. And it like, gasses you in the, in the trailer. And you open up the thing, and Charlie is just face down.

Glenn: Oh yes. We were laughing about that. Yeah

Meg: Just completely like…so funny.

Glenn: Yeah. He made the choice to, to, to just lie face, face directly–

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: face down. Arms at his sides as if he had–

Charlie: Arms backwards, yeah.

Glenn: As if you’d just like, yeah. We’ve, we’ve always enjoyed that kinda fall where–

Meg: That’s great.


Glenn: something, you get knocked out instantly. And your arms are not even, you’re not even stopped yourself. Your arms are just at your sides. It’s just–

Charlie: I remember wanting to do it in a way that was like, it seemed really believable that he made no effort to stop himself.

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: Yeah.

Charlie: But also I remember being like, you know you gotta wait for a, a, a good chunk of dialogue before they the thing. And just being like, this is uncomfortable and just straight on my–

Glenn: Oh yeah. Straight down on your face. That’s not–

Charlie: Knowing would be funny but like, but it’ll be a good bit. 

Glenn: It’s worth it. Yeah.

Charlie: The biggest laugh for me in that whole episode, is the hibachi grill legs kicking up and sliding out. Like, I’m proud of the, the joke, like the writing of the joke. But I’m really proud of the special effects team.

Charlie: That’s a pretty sweet duct tape rig you got going on the door man.

Dennis: Yeah. You like that? Taped the chairs down too, so no sliding.

Charlie: I know. I know, but you stopped at the grill, and that’s got me confused.

Dennis: Ran out of tape actually.

Charlie: Oh. It’s not gonna slide through the crack?

Dennis: It won’t because I measured the crack and the crack is smaller than the height of the grill. 

Charlie: We are all hooked up here dude. 

Dennis: Mhm. Wanna shotgun a beer?

Charlie: That’ll calm the nerves.

Dennis: It sure will. 

*Noise of grill falling out of fan*

Rob: Do you remember–

Glenn: Yes.

Rob: how hard it was for that to happen?

Glenn: No.

Rob: Oh. Oh my god. 

Charlie: Yeah. To get, we had to get a filament to pull the, the legs sideways. And then have someone pull it straight out.

Glenn: Wow.

Rob: Yes. Now, but at the time we were very very frustrated. And we had a, we had a great special effects team. But for some reason, this was the one that sumped ‘em. 

Meg: *Laughter*

Rob: Because you had to get the timing exactly right.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: So I remember exactly how this happened. ‘Cause you guys were in the van.

Glenn: Oh, sorry…also yes. You know what I do remember? Also the time…this may be what was you were talking about when you say timing. Because it wasn’t like, when to do it, it was starting it slow and then speeding it up.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: It’s like, do we yank it out? And it’s like, no. 

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Do we do it all slow? No. You start slow and it’s, it’s like uh.

Charlie: I’d be like, it hits a bump. So it’s gotta go, ba-boom. 

Rob: Uh-huh.

Charlie: And then the legs have to–

Glenn: And then the legs have to tuck in.

Charlie: collapse.

Rob: And the legs have to collapse at the same time.

Charlie: Uh-huh. 

Rob: It can’t go one, one. 

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Rob: That’s not what is funny. It’s gotta go, bump, bump, and then out.

Glenn: And then, yeah.

Rob: And so, so, we’re, we’re, we’re thinking, well we’re in Hollywood but we know that at this point our show’s a piece of shit. And, and, and we don’t have any money. So we gotta figure out, now again we’ve seen dinosaurs on screen in 1993. 

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And yet, we can’t just get this goddamn hibachi grill–

Meg: Mhm.

Rob: to just, do what we need it to do. They wound up having 2, 3, 2 special effects guys. One on one side of the trailer. One on the other. They cut a whole through the, through the van. And they pulled the string this way. And then a third special effects guy, that pulled the thing out.

Charlie: That’s right. And you know what? Because the van, the tightness of the van is such, that we couldn’t put 2 guys in there to, to pull on the strings to have the legs come out.

Rob: Yes. 

Charlie: So we had to like, drill through the–

Rob: Yes: 

Glenn: From the outside.

Charlie: the uhaul.

Rob: And originally, what they did was, they, they fed the wire this way, right? And then, through a little like, snake hole out. So the, the way that they had to, so, without drilling a hole. So all 3 guys were on the other side of the truck and pulling. But, how do you get the timing right, where the tension isn’t this way, the tension is this way, but then eventually it’s gotta pull like through like a pulley system.

Glenn: But it’s also–

Rob: It was so complicated:

Glenn: There’s so many different ways–

Charlie: Until they got it.

Rob: Until they got it.

Charlie: And then we’re like, thank god we spent the time on this.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: ‘Cause it like–

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: a huge laugh.

Meg: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. You wouldn’t think that it would be that difficult. But, it’s also like because we have a very specific sort of like, timing in mind, of what we want to happen. It’s like, as you said, it’s gotta fall, both legs have to collapse first.

Meg: Mhm.

Glenn: And then there has to be like, the tiniest micro beat and then it just, shwwwwww–

Meg: Yeah.

Glenn: You know what I mean?

Meg: Then you guys have such a funny reaction of just like, starring at it.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we had it up.

Meg: It’s like a very, muted reaction. We sort of, there’s the area of like the, eh we coulda’ seen that coming. 

Glenn: Did not think about that.

Rob: I love the attitudes throughout the entire episode. It’s always fun when characters are on the same page. Or excited and happy and having fun. So Dennis and Frank when they first get back there, how excited they are. And how on board they are.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And there’s very little fighting. There’s very little arguing. It’s more, they might have a little disagreement but Dennis is up for anything. And Frank’s up for anything. Same thing when Charlie got back there as well. Everyone was excited.

Glenn: I miss playing those, colors as Dennis. I miss like, playing like, you know, the, the, the like, he was still calm and still, everything, and still kinda narcissistic and full of himself. But like, I don’t know, not always angry. Just…happy.

Charlie: It’s a simple story. It’s a simple story. No big theme we’re trying to jam in there. There’s no like, we’ll there on a road trip but it’s really about, uh, you know, we’re really saying it’s about x y z. No. They’re trying to go on a road trip and they’re unable to pull it off. And that’s it. So it allows for those grounded moments, because people can relate to it. Right? We don’t have to, we don’t to sort of invent a motive for why people would want to go on a road trip. 

Glenn: Mhm.

Charlie: Like, people go on road trips. So, yeah, so then, then we have nothing but free reign to then be like, okay. Well, what are the funny things that happen to keep them from going on this road trip. 

Glenn: Yeah. 

Charlie: So yeah. It doesn’t, it wouldn’t make sense to have a like, heightened part.

Rob: One person that we’ve talked about on the podcast in the past, um, and now people can put a face to his name, is Cha Cha.

Glenn: Cha Cha.

Rob: Cha cha, who we’ve mentioned on the podcast–

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: was Danny’s friend um, who may or may not have been–

Glenn: Hang on.

Rob: in an organization. That may or may not have existed somewhere in the northeast part of the country.

Charlie: You can’t prove that.

Rob: We can’t say for sure, but, we were, it could be, that he possibly was a member of one of those, types of organizations.

Charlie: Like the American Legion? Like what–

Rob: Yeah. Yeah, whatever the, the carpenters union, something like–

*TIME STAMP 14:05*

Glenn: I don’t say shit. 


Rob: And, um–

Meg: He played a fruit vender.

Rob: Now the thing is, that, Cha Cha has since passed. So we’re open, we’re, we’re clear to talk about–

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: him in, many different ways. But none of the ways that will get us beaten up or murdered.

Glenn: Ideally. 

Rob: Cha Cha was the best. 

Glenn: He was, he was so–

Charlie: Wasn’t he a boxing promoter–

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: for Tony Danza, and that’s how Danny met him?

Rob: Yes. 

Glenn: Yeah. Cha Cha had a night, where he took me to a uh, a fight at Madison Square Garden. And we had–

Rob: What?

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: When was this?

Glenn: *Exhales*

Charlie: Around that time, I guess.

Glenn: I was in New York City in, it was…oh I don’t know. It was something like we were shooting in Philly, and there was a big fight coming up at Madison Square Garden. And I was talking to Cha about it. I think it may have been, even been when we were doing that episode. And he was like, I, yeah, he was like, I could, I could get us into that fight. Ya know? And I was like, let’s do it. You know what I mean? So I went to New York and I stayed in New York. And I went to his, he had a, he had a big, cof…a cof…a coffee uh, like a cafe bakery–

Charlie: On Mulberry Street?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: On Mulberry Street. Exactly, in Little Italy.

Meg: Oh in Little Italy.

Charlie: Yeah, it was like a gelato place.

Glenn: Yeah. 

Rob: It was gelato. It had pizza. It had lots of things. 

Glenn: It had lots of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It had coffee. It had calzones.

Rob: Whatever you wanted you could get there.

Meg: Uh-huh.

Glenn: Suuuuuure.

Rob: And everybody knew Cha Cha there. 

Glenn: Everybody.

Charlie: Everybody knew Cha Cha.

Glenn: Everybody knew Cha. And, so, you know. He, he, I, I, I went there and I met him there. You know he, he, he fed me, gave me some espresso. And we went to the fight together and uh, had a blast. You know, and everybody at the stadium knew him. Like, everybody you know. And uh, we just, we just had a really, really fun night. And I think very fondly on Cha Cha. ‘Cause he really, he really like hosted that night. It was, and it was really cool. He was a great guy.

Charlie: Well, those scenes down in the Italian market are like, they feel very alive. 

Glenn: Mhm.

Charlie: There’s a lot of pedestrians. And you know, we didn’t like, pay for like 200 extras that day. We were just filming, down in the–

Rob: Mhm.

Charlie: the market. And you know, I’m sure we had like 15 or 20 people maybe we you know, had them cross through a shot or two.

Glenn: Now was it the Italian market? To be clear. And to–

Charlie: Yeah. But like, we, that was still at a time when I think we could shoot and we wouldn’t draw a huge crowd. Right? 

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And I think, 2000…sea…yeah season 5? No yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. We could still get away with it. 

Charlie: Although I do remember people yelling to Danny when we were driving around the clock.

Rob: Okay yes.

Charlie: But when we hit the guy, with the, with the, by the way. The stunt guy nailed it.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah he sure did.

Charlie: Going over the bike.

Rob: Well start that, well start that from the beginning. ‘Cause that was a really fun moment in the shooting of the show that we reference a lot. Because it was, very specific. We were going around a big loop. So when we were shooting we would just, cause I had to throw it at that guys head. And I think I missed like 3 times. But we had to do this giant loop around this one neighborhood in Philly. 

Charlie: Mhm.

Rob: Where we would just go up and down this street. 

Glenn: And the cars being towed. Right? So I’m not–

Rob: And the cars being towed.

Glenn: I’m not really driving it’s uh, yeah.

Rob: Right. And so we have a camera car shooting us and then, and so we’re just going around. And we’re passing the same houses and the same people. An no one knew our show. In…in…including people in Philadelphia. But everybody knows Danny. So, the neighbors were out on their stoops and everytime we would pass by–

Glenn: Mhm.

Rob: they would yell out at us.

Glenn: “Hey Danny!”

Rob: “Hey Danny! Come on over Danny. I’ll make you some ziti.” And then we’d be past them.

Charlie: Mhm.

Rob: We’d turn around and we’d come back around.

Glenn: And then just more and more people.

Rob: “Hey Danny!”

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And we had a joke, a running joke in the car about it getting more extreme. Like “Hey Danny, come over and let me tie you up in the basement for a few hours.”

Glenn: “Hey Danny. Let me wear your face Dan. I got a spot in the–”

Charlie: “Danny I’ll only take off the foot. Come here Danny.”

Glenn: “Danny just a little piece of your body. For the base…for the trophy room. Danny!”

Charlie: “Danny I wanna kiss you all over.” 

Rob: *Laughter*

Charlie: “Danny I’ll bake you into a ziti. Come here Danny.”

Rob: *Laughter*

Glenn: “Danny can we eat you for dinner tonight? Danny!”


Charlie: Yup. Yup.

Glenn: Yeah. Everybody wanted a piece. Everybody wanted a piece of that Danny Devito.

Charlie: Yeah. They wanted a piece of Dan.

Rob: They wanted a piece of Danny.

Glenn: They wanted a piece. You know? Who, who, who can blame ‘em? Who could blame ‘em? 

Rob: And then uh, and then also if you remember from that shoot, um. One of the trucks got hit by lightning. 

Glenn: *Cough laugh*

Rob: One of our camera trucks got hit by lightning.

Glenn: No I don’t remember that.

Charlie: Go on.

Rob: Oh yeah. We were shooting while there was a thunderstorm. A lightning storm, out of nowhere.

Charlie: Ooo! I remember. It was a huge thunderstorm.

Rob: Yeah. And you don’t really know where to go because we don’t have a set. So, the neighbors were like “you can come into our house.” And we were like–

Charlie: Nah, nah.

Meg: We’ll take our chances with the lightning. 

Rob: Yeah, we’ll take our chances with the lightning. We go up in these trucks, these giant metal trucks. Which of course are grounded from the tires. But still it’s terrifying. And like, the trailer’s like shaking and what not. And then one of our trucks got hit by, hit by lightning.

Meg: Jesus.

Glenn: Ooof.

Charlie: What happened? Did it like, blow up? Or like…

Rob: No. *Laughter*. Nothing.

Meg: Maybe that’s why this episode is so good. Cause it’s like, infused with the power–

Charlie: Struck by lightning. 

Glenn: Infused for the power of Zues. 

Meg: Zeus. Yup.

Glenn: Right? Power of Zues came through us. Um, with this episode.

Rob: Lot of Philly stuff. 

Meg: Yeah. You, did you shoot this entire…other than the, the scenes in the bar or in front of the bar, did you shoot all of it in Philly? 

Glenn: No.

Meg: Like gas stations and stuff?

*TIME STAMP 18:51*

Charlie: No. Gas stations was in LA.

Glenn: That was in LA. Uh, not far, I believe not far from the Paddy’s set. 

Meg: Mhm.

Glenn: Uh–

Charlie: We had a loop in downtown–

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: Yeah.

Charlie: that like, could really pass for Philly. ‘Cause it was just very urban. Not a lot of like palm trees or anything.

Meg: Yeah. Like when Dee runs up and chases you guys.

Glenn: That was in LA.

Charlie: That’s LA. 

Glenn: That was downtown LA.

Meg: Um–

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And I wonder, ‘cause we haven’t been shot down there in a while. Like, the more and more we go down to the neighborhood–

Glenn: It’s nicer and nicer.

Charlie: It’s nicer and nicer. 

Glenn: We can’t even, we can’t even shoot outside that Paddy’s set very much anymore. Because it’s got…it went from judgment night to like, you know, hipster, hipster.

Meg: Yeah. 

Charlie: Do you remember like in the early years, where, wherever that…we might’ve talked about this in the podcast. The guys across the street–

Rob: Oh yeah.

Charlie: would just lay on their like car horn–

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: when we were filming. And our line producer had to go over and just give them cash. And it was just uh–

Glenn: They were just extorting them.

Charlie: It was just a shakedown.

Rob: I kinda see both sides of that though. 

Meg: I know, me too.

Glenn: Sure.

Rob: I mean, there was shooting on my street like 2 weeks ago. And I pulled up and they were like, “You can’t go up there.” And I was like, “No I live up there.” And they were like, “Sorry. You can’t go through.” And I was like, “Sorry, you’re claiming I can’t go to my house?” And they’re like, “Yeah. They’re filming.” And I was like, “I’m gonna drive–”

Meg: Yeah.

Rob: “and if you get in front of my car I’m gonna run you over.” Like, what the fuck? And of course it’s like, it’s some poor PA who’s like 

Meg: Rob justice.

Charlie: It’s his first day on the job like, “I was told not to let anyone up the street–”

Rob: Totally.

Charlie: “I really wanna work in TV and uh–”

Rob: Totally.

Charlie: “I think that’s Rob McElhenney.”

Rob: The guys, the guys uh, across the street from us. They had a business, and we would just shut the street down. Or we would do like, intermittent traffic. 

Charlie: Yeah. They had a business like Cha Cha had a business. 


Charlie: “Cars come in. Cars come out. Who’s car they are, I don’t know. *horn noise* But the horns fuckin’ work. So give me cash.”

Rob: That one time in part…in particular I remember. And they were starting, they started to blur music–

Glenn: Yeah. 

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: out of their cars. And it was because the, they were told that they couldn’t bring…they had some importing exporting business. They couldn’t bring their trucks in.

Charlie: That’s right. Somebody told them they couldn’t bring their trucks in.

Rob: Yeah. And they were, “This is our business. You just, you can’t shut down the street–”

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: “unless you pay us.”

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: So we paid ‘em.

Glenn: Yeah. I see it from their perspective.

Charlie: Yeah yeah yeah. It’s a middle, there’s a middle a ground.

Rob: I think what we’re saying is there’s a middle ground. 

Meg: *Laughter*

​​Charlie: In that case, there is a middle ground. There is a middle ground.

*AD BREAK 20:55*

Charlie: Alright. Who here hates cooking?

Rob: Oh god. Thank you.

Charlie: Who hates cooking?

Rob: Overrated.

Glenn: It’s just, it’s, it’s, it’s so much time and energy. Hours of shopping, and prep, and cooking, and cleaning.

Charlie: Also it’s just not economical.

Rob: Well check it out Charlie. We’re sponsored by Factor, Americas number one ready to eat, meal kit.

Glenn: They ship fresh, nutritious meals made with high protein. Uh, I love that, I love protein guys.

Charlie: Yup. 

Glenn: Big protein guy.

Rob: I love Factor, especially the protein plus meals. Because they are extra filling and great for my busy days where I want a quick and healthy meal.

Charlie: Well that’s a huge boom when we’re busy on set.

Glenn: You know, we’re just kicking off production and there’s hardly ever time to fit a meal into your schedules. 

Rob: Well, we do have a caterer. You’re aware of this, right?

Glenn: Well yeah. I mean, but you know, the caterer, he’s not dietitian approved. Factor is, you know? Plus it only takes 2 minutes to heat up. Versus charging over to the truck and you know, waiting in line.

Charlie: Yeah. Who’s making you wait in line?

Glenn: Well, I’m not…I cut to the front. But…

Charlie: Yeah, you don’t wait in line right?

Rob: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Glenn: No, but I’m saying in theory. 

Rob: Be like Glenn. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of your meal time, ever again. Head to and use code sunny50 to get 50 percent off your first box.

Glenn: So that’s code sunny50 at to get 50 percent of your first box.


Charlie: What else from this ep…from this–

Rob: Oh, Runaway Train

Charlie: Yes. Kaitlin’s performance–

Glenn: Well, Kaitlin’s performance in the Runaway, in the Runaway Train uh, scene–

Charlie: And your performance in of getting the piss in the face is very real.

Glenn: Yes, yeah. You played that real. 

Rob: Well, I really got slapped in the face with apple juice or something like that. 

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. So you were feeling the actual frustration.

Rob: Yeah, you’re feelin’ it. 

Charlie: Now, that kid’s gotta be uh–

Meg: Oh yeah.

Charlie: 62, 63 years old or something.

Meg: Shannon McKain. I’ll look it up.

Charlie: Shannon McKain. 

Glenn: What’s his name?

Meg: Shannon McKain.

Glenn: Shannon McKain. What’s he up to? Is he, has been workin’ that much.

Meg: Let’s see. He is 38 years old now. And uh–

Charlie: Wow. That’s pretty–

Rob: Did he get into the porn?

Meg: it does appear that he is still regularly working. 

Charlie: Good.

Rob: He didn’t have to get into the porn? Like, like Dee thought?

Meg: Uh, no. With “that tiny little body of his.”

Glenn: “With that teeny tiny little body of his.”

*TIME STAMP 22:58*

Meg: Um.

Glenn: So that means he was 24 when he did it. Did the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Charlie: Well, I think Runaway Train was your pitch. I feel like, maybe I remember like working on that. And like, might’ve had some different song, or some thing. And I think–

Glenn: That wasn’t in the break?

Charlie: Ah, maybe it was.

Glenn: I feel like it was in the break.

Charlie: Or maybe it was something you had in the room. ‘Cause I feel like you liked that song. 

Rob: I liked, well I liked that, that. I remember that song being on the summer of, probably 1990…I’m gonna say, 4. 

Glenn: Sure.

Rob: The summer of 1994.

Glenn: That sounds right.

Rob: That song was on constantly.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And the video, they would play the video and it was all about like, runaways. And then, it became a whole marketing campaign. Uh, where they were talking about how many lives the song saved because people were, runaways were like inspired to like, call home or come home. And this was like, all engineered by MTV. And I thought man, it just seemed like such a scam to sell, to sell records. 

Glenn: Right.

Rob: As if there were like kids on the street that would hear that song and be like, oh you know what? 

Glenn: I’m the runaway train.

Rob: I’m the runaway train.

Glenn: I’m the runaway train in this scenario.

Rob: What I gotta do is get back in touch with my family who’s, who’s definitely lookin’ for me. That’s why I ran away in the first place.

Meg: Mhm.

Rob: They’re really um–

Glenn: Right. They’re really upset.

Rob: That’s the nuclear family that I need to be…

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. 

Meg: I love that she’s like, you need to hear this song. This has got a message for you. And then she cannot remember the words. 


Meg: And just delivers all the emotion–

Rob: Yeah.

Meg: but few of the words.

Glenn: I also like that she, she immediately invade…is like invading his space.

Meg: Yeah.

Glenn: Like she’s gotten drunk like, so fast. 

Meg: And she also mimes, like you get, she starts moving.

Rob: Yeah.

Meg: As, like before she reveals the piss jar.

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: She does a couple movements which on second viewing you’re like, oh that was her zipping up at the end.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Yep. Yep. That was, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dee: I got something you need to hear about. Hold on one second. 

*Runaway Train playing*

Dee: (singing) Runaway train yeah never going back. Wrong way on a one-way track. 

Hitchhiker: I’ve actually got this uncle out there and he said that I was–

Dee: Somehow I’m neither here nor there. Runaway train(unintelligible drunk singing). Runaway train(unintelligible drunk singing). (Mumbling) Shit. 

Mac: Ah! Ah! What is that? Is that piss? 

Meg: And it’s an open mouth jar. 

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: It’s like, so how did she…*laughter*

Glenn: I…

Rob: That’s, that’s a bunch of dudes right?

Charlie: No that’s a bunch of guys who know how, how does it work?

Rob: And then being like Dee, Kaitlin, just figure it out.

Charlie: I don’t know. She’s got good, good aim. 


Charlie: I wonder how many of our cars we wrecked. ‘Cause we wrecked the, the first, the blue one in Mac and Charlie Die. And then this one gets stolen. And then we, we wrecked the one at the McPoyle wedding massacre. 

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: By driving into the pole. I think it’s a purple pt cruiser.

Glenn: Yup, yup, yup. Is that it?

Meg: There’s a few.

Charlie: And that’s maybe it. 

Glenn: I don’t remember.

Rob: Three's a lot. 

Charle: Three’s a lot. Three’s a lot of cars.

Glenn: Three’s a lot of cars to wreck. Yeah.

Rob: Destroyed.

Glenn: Um, what, do you remember anything else about the writing of this episode, uh, Charles?

Charlie: Nope.

Glenn: Me either. 


Glenn: Um…

Meg: You guys…did you have all the…what I like about it, is there’s just this simplicity in just mixing up the pairings. Like, somebody goes back into the back. And then somebody moves to the front seat. And like, that kind of energy of the story is just really funny. 

Glenn: Yeah, yeah.

Meg: Uh…but, was that planned? Or did you guys–

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: just be like, generally they’re gonna be on a road trip and–

Glenn: I mean, I think it was planned.

Charlie: It was so long ago, it’s really hard to remember. 

Glenn: Yeah it is hard to remember.

Charlie: Like.

Glenn: I mean, I don’t think we would’ve gone into writing it without there being some kind of–

Charlie: I don’t think we broke them in the detail that we break the stories now. Like sometimes we did, and sometimes we didn’t. Sometimes we’re like, they go on the road trip this happens. They go to the farmer’s market. We do the blueberry run. The car gets stolen. You know, like…

Meg: Mhm.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Well like, the ocular patdown, um…

Charlie: I think you improved, improved on that on the day.

Rob: Possibly. I mean, I remember Rosell pitching the sheriff for Paddy’s. 

Charlie: Okay. So that was probably it. Right? ‘Cause it comes back in the last scene.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn:  But I think, the ocular patdown thing, joke, I’m pretty sure you came up with though. 

Mac: Yeah I did an ocular patdown and I cleared him.

Frank: Say what?

Dee: I’m sorry?

Mac: I’m saying that I did an ocular assessment of the situation, garnered that we was not a security risk, and I cleared him for passage.

Frank: *Laughing* Ocular patdown.

Dennis: What the hell are you talking about?

Mac: I’m talking about breaking down the security situation, clearing an individual, and making it safe for passage.

Dennis: How exactly do you view yourself within the context of our group?

Mac: The sheriff of Paddys. 

Dee: Ugh. I can’t, I can’t have this conversation.

Dennis: The sheriff of–

Rob: But my favorite part of that whole thing was, is setting that up, then in the end finding out that Charlie is also very much aware of the process. And, and he’s like, “We cleared him. I thought we were good.”

Meg: “He cleared him.”

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Rob: “He cleared him.”

Charlie: “He said the kid was clear so I figured…”

Glenn: Yeah. Which is great.

*TIME STAMP 27:55*

Rob: “I cleared him. We’re good.”

Glenn: Coming off the heels of us having no idea–

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: of how we view stuff and uh–

Charlie: The funny reveal that we’ve had these conversations many times.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 

Meg: I so liked the little run about the glaze on the chairs. You guys being like, “There must’ve been some sort of glaze.”

Charlie: Yeah, real quick. 

Glenn: Yeah. The poison glaze.

Charlie: Yeah. ‘Cause we passed out instantly.

Rob: Passed out instantly. Passing out instantly. 

Charlie: Well, I don’t remember how we did, I guess we just had a smoke machine in there. I don’t remember how we did that.

Glenn: Yeah. I think it was, I think it was just that.

Charlie: Yeah. 

Glenn: I don’t think it was anything more complicated than that. Thank god we didn’t have to actually set anything on fire. ‘Cause they, they send the whole fire department when you do that. Fuckin’ light a candle on set these days, and the whole fire department’s gotta show up.

Meg: I, I tried to cook my husband dinner on friday and the fire department carled…called. Which is about how–

Rob: Why?

Charlie: Did you set off an alarm?

Meg: I did. I set off our own fire alarms. And apparently we have uh, we have a, it’s somehow connected to like the security alarm. And then they, they called us and the fire department called. And so two very embarrassing conversations where my husband just had to be like, “No, my wife’s just cooking. Yeah, it doesn’t happen very often. That’s probably why we haven’t been–”

Glenn: So they actually came by.

Meg: No, no. They just–

Glenn: Oh they didn’t…okay, alright. Well so, I experienced uh, I don’t know, maybe this was about a year ago. And we were, we had like a, busted pipe in our landscaping. And we had like, expanded our landscaping so, I knew where the landscaping, the, the, the controls were for turning off all the water that goes to the landscaping. Except there’s this new section of landscaping that had been done, and it wasn’t on the same pipe. So I was like, I don’t know how to stop this. And there’s fucking water geysersing. So we had to call, we had to call uh, I don’t if we called, I guess we called the fire department or somebody.

Meg: And they shut it off?

Glenn: Yeah. I guess we did. But they, they shut, you know. We were just like, just like, why do you always have to show up in a fire truck? 

Meg: *Laughter*

Glenn: You know, it’s like, it’s like midnight, you know. The whole, wakin’ the whole neighbor…neighborhood up. The siren got like blaring. Honkin’ the horn. Like lights blowin’ up. You know, we’re like, we’re just like–

Rob: Firemen. Firemen.

Meg: Firemen. That’s David.

Rob: Oh, we have to…That’s Hornsby.

Glenn: And I, I, I…these guys got out…it was everything.

Rob: Ahhh…there’s nothing more emasculating.

Glenn: So emasculating.

Rob: “Hey bud. You want us to turn your water off for you?”

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically–

Rob: “Want us to come in there and take of your wife too?”

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: “We can turn her water on. If you know what I mean?”

Glenn: Every single guy was, was like six foot three on average. You know what I mean? Like no one was below 6 foot three. It was like six foot three and above. Every single guy, I’m not kidding you, looked like he could be a male model. 


Charlie: “We got the calendar shoot right after this. So…”

Glenn: It looks like it.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: I will say I notice, I notice the difference, the major difference when I first moved to Los Angeles with the police force. I noticed the, the LAPD and California State uh, the highway patrol. Those are some big people. And in shape people. Even the women, even if the women aren’t large they seemed like they were in very good shape. And all the cops that I knew in New York and Philly–

Glenn: Yeah. Fat as hell.

Rob: Yeah. Not really, or skinny. But never like, not in like, the kinda california shape.

Glenn: Yeah. Where like, these are California firemen and policemen. Right?

Rob: Yeah. 

Glenn: Yeah, yeah. Just comin’ correct. Just comin’ straight from the gym. Like, hittin’ the gym at 4 am every single morning. You know what I mean? Cookin’, cookin, uh you know, stickin’ to uh, a paleo diet down there. At the, at the firehouse, right. Cookin’ everybody chicken and vegetables. “Let’s lay off the rice guys. We’re gaining a few lbs. When we show up to these peoples house, we really gotta make the men feel small. That’s the primary goal here, right?”

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: “Putting out fires? Absolutely. Every time, if we can. More important than that though, impressing the woman and emasculating the man.” 

Rob: That’s why they became firemen in the first place, right? 

Glenn: Yep. That’s right. I think you’re absolutely right. Let’s stick with that.

Charlie: Uh, “I eat stickers all the time.” Was that improv on the day? I can’t remember.

Rob: Definitely.  

Mac: The whole thing? 

Charlie: Yeah. It was pretty gross.

Mac: The stem, and then the core?

Charlie: You didn’t tell me not to eat the stem dude!

Mac: Did you eat the stickers that are all over it?

Charlie: Yeah it was gross!

Mac: Of course it’s gross! It’s a sticker!

Charlie: I eat stickers all the time, dude!

Mac: Oh my god. This whole thing is a disaster. I’m going back to the car.

Rob: We thought about that in the editing room.

Glenn: Yes we did! Yes we did. 

Rob: Because you were, we both were on the same page when you’re like, uh, I thought it was funny. 

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: ‘Cause you improved it. “I eat stickers all the time.” And then you were like, that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. 

Glenn: What does that mean?

Rob: Is that establishing that Charlie eats stickers all time? We’re like, yes.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Okay. Good, you guys remember that too.

Rob: Oh yeah. 

Glenn: Yeah. I’ll fully admit that, that, that there’s…and everybody’s got a line, right? Everybody’s got a line.

Charlie: So like, the earlier seasons, right? Maybe the characters aren’t, haven’t gone as crazy yet. So, you’re, you’re still having the conversation, you know, do or do they, not eat stickers? You know, by season 6 and 7, we know that Charlie and Frank, and possibly sometimes, maybe Mac, eat stickers.

Glenn: Sure.

Charlie: Sure.

Meg: You eat contracts and all sorts of things, right? Like, you know–


Glenn: There’s wolf hair in your feces. 

Charlie: There’s wolf hair, well that was season 3 so. 

Meg: So that’s been established.

Glenn: Yeah. Credit, pieces of a credit card, wolf hair–

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: All inconclusive of course.

Rob: The line is always changing.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And always…but we just had a conversation this morning.

Glenn: I know.

Rob: Where Glenn was pointing something out that was like, I don’t think this makes any kind of rational sense. And Charlie and I were both like, yeah I know.

Glenn: I can see and I can feel…like, there’s part of me that just wants, like in those moments I wanna back down, just ‘casue I don’t, I, I can just sense you guys being like, oh no.

Rob: Yep! But, we didn’t fight back though.

Glenn: No, you didn’t, you didn’t.

Rob: We didn’t fight back.

Glenn: I could feel the energy.

Rob: We were like, okay, okay. Um, lets, lets see. Let’s pivot. Let’s see if we can figure it out.

Glenn: Yeah. And often–

Rob: There is a, there is a tendency to wanna just be like, well come on man. We, we do crazy shit all the time. Why is it this thing? But, we each have one of those moments–

Glenn: Mhm.

Rob: throughout the week. Where you’re like, nah this is my line. And, we can either like, tell the person they’re being stupid, or we can kinda figure out–

Glenn: Well, I usually like to be like, do you guys stand behind, do you fully stand behind this? And if you do. And if you guys are like this is amazing. I fully stand behind it. I still might fight back a little bit. But I’ll eventually just be like, alright I’m just gonna back off.

Rob: Yeah.

*TIME STAMP 33:45*

Glenn: You know what I mean? Uh, because–

Charlie: I don’t feel like you do it that often. 

Rob: No.

Charlie: It’s just every now and then. 

Glenn: No, no, no. I mean it’s, it’s–

Charlie: Like if the joke is, really funny, you know, you probably get a little insecure about it. Poke some holes in it. 

Glenn: No, you know what it is. It’s actually the opposite. It’s when I’m like, this, if it’s really really funny, I care less about how ground, grounded it is. You know what I mean? If it’s making me–

Charlie: No it’s just is–

Glenn: But that’s me, that’s my, me thinking something’s funny or not funny. You know. Where as you guys might find something funny that I’m like, I don’t even think that…so not only is that not funny, but it, but it also that’s not grounded in any sort of reality that I can believe. That’s what I struggle with.

Charlie: Yeah that’s, it’s just the reality thing right? 

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: The sticker thing for you. Or the gun thing with Frank in that, in the episode where he’s shooting in the thing, where we’re like–

Glenn: It’s just not that funny to me. So I’m like, why are we–

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: ending reality for some…but it’s funny to you guys. And it’s funny to a lot of people in the audience. So, okay well…

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.  

Glenn: It is what it is. 

Charlie: What about now? Is the sticker thing funny to you now?

Glenn: No.

Meg: Do you find it–

Glenn: It’s not that funny. But I can appreciate why, I, I, I, I understand why other people think it’s funny. Uh, I just don’t think it’s that funny. I mean, I think–

Charlie: You don’t buy that the guy would eat stickers all the time?

Glenn: No. I buy that you would’ve eaten the sticker on the pear. And that it tasted awful, and that you ate the stem and the seeds and all that kinda shit. ‘Cause you don’t know how to eat a pear. Like somehow that’s okay with me. But–

Charlie: It’s just the one step past the eating the stem–

Glenn: It’s the one step past where you say like “I eat stickers all the time.” That means, that means you’re a man who looks at a sticker and goes, I’m gonna eat that.

Charlie: Yeah. Probably just like a scratch and sniff sticker. But yeah.

Glenn: *Laughter* Well see, now that would’ve saved it for me!

Rob: They smell so good.

Charlie: So that additional line would’ve brought it back for you. If he was like, “What are you talking about? Like, you scratch, you sniff, you taste!”

Glenn: “You scratch, you sniff, you–”

Charlie: And then like, “It’s just scratch and sniff.”

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: “Since when?”


Rob: “Been scratchin’ it for days.”

Charlie: “Scratch and sniff and taste.” The ones on the bananas do taste like bananas. 

Meg: Um, have you guys ever been to the Grand Canyon?

Glenn: I have.

Charlie: I have, yeah.

Meg: You’ve seen it? 

Glenn: Once. 

Rob: Never.

Meg: Really, you’ve never gone?

Rob: Mmm-mm.

Charlie: Mary-Elizabeth and I uh, did a road trip once with our dog, many years ago. Our first dog Arthur, and um, it was 2 degrees when we got to the Grand Canyon.

Glenn: Ooof.

Meg: Ooof.

Charlie: And Arthur had to take a crap. And I remember like the steam comin’ up from it. 

Meg: *Laughter*

Charlie: Like, he was just like, squeezed one out. Took a dump at the Grand Canyon and we stayed at like a Red Roof Inn. You know?

Glenn: Yeah. 

Charlie: The old days.

Glenn: The old days, right?

Charlie: I looked at it. It was like, this is really sad. But looked at it, and was like, yeah sure.

Glenn: Oh really?

Charlie: Yeah. I think because I’d seen things in books and on television so many times. Yes, what, is it impressive? Of course? But, there’s something about uh, this world that we live in now that you have access to things so much. You’re like, I imagined seeing that for the first time when you’re riding your horse across the country and you’re like, “Oh shit. Hole!”


Charlie: “Big hole! We got a hole!”

Glenn: “Big hole!”

Charlie: “Big hole!”

Glenn: Yeah. 

Charlie: Could be the end of the world. Not sure.

Glenn: This…yeah. This is where the world–

Rob: It is strange, ‘cause I’ve flown over it–

Meg: Yeah.

Rob: so many times. ‘Cause that is the direct route back to the east coast.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And so you look at it from the sky. And of course it’s imp…it’s impressive. It’s a massive gorge. But because of the scale, because of the height–

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: you’re like, you can’t really get a sense of it. ‘Cause, so I’m kinda like, eh. I get it.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: I had the exact opposite reaction. Uh, I did not exp…I actually expected, well maybe it’s because my expectations were low. I fully expected to not be impressed by it. Because I’d seen so many pictures of it, right?

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: I’m like, we’ll I mean–

Meg: Mhm. 

Glenn: it’s not, it’s a fuckin’ hole in the ground. Who gives a shit? Ah, but whatever it was, we were on a road trip. My girlfriend and I at the time. It was early 2000s and we just, we were like, let’s stop by the Grand Canyon. Great. Went to the Grand Canyon. We went to like this one are, where you could really like stand like really like close to the edge. And um, which is maybe, a lot of it. But I was absolutely floored. 

Meg: To me it gave me the feeling of being like, oh I’m so small and insignificant.

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: In a way that actually is like, kinda great. And–

Glenn: Yes.

Meg: found it really, yeah.

Glenn: I felt the same way.

Charlie: Pictures of space do that for me.

Meg: Yeah.

Charlie: Where you see like how many galaxies there are. And you’re like, wait wait, we’re one dot–

Meg: Yeah.

Charlie: in one of these things? Like, I find that comforting.

Meg: Yeah.

Charlie: But the Grand Canyon I was like, oh, it’s nice. 

*AD BREAK 38:00*

Rob: We interrupt this podcast to talk about, Meg, your favorite subject, boners!

Glenn: Yayyyy! 

Charlie: You know what, Bluechew is back!

Charlie: Choo choo! The Bluechew train.

Glenn: Bluechew is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable form at a fraction of the cost.

Rob: And now they also have vardenafil mint flavored chewables, with the active ingredient in levitra and staxyn. So you can stay hard and fresh.

Glenn: Yeah! 

Rob: We’re 14, we’re 14!

Glenn: Eeee ooooo. So no more having your partner tell you you taste like boner pills. 

Charlie: Bluechew tablets are uh, performance enhancement for the bedroom and can help men gain extra confidence when it’s time to perform.

Glenn: You know what else?

Charlie: What?

Glenn: It’s simple. Ya sign up at, consult with one of their licensed medical providers. And once you are approved you receive a discreet box to your doorstep, in days.

*TIME STAMP 39:04*

Charlie: If you don’t think you need it, you haven’t tried it. And here’s a special deal for you listeners. Try Bluechew free, when you use our promo sunny at the checkout. Just pay 5 dollars shipping, and get those free boner pills man. 

Rob: That’s promo code sunny to receive your first month for free.

Glenn: Thought we’d get through one of these without hearing from Athletic Greens? Well, you’ve got donkey brains.

Rob: That’s right. Because we are once again supported by Athletic Greens and their delicious green powder AG1. 

Charlie: With one scoop of AG1 you’re absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole foods, sourced super foods, probiotics and adaptogens.

Glenn: Ehh, key word, absorbing.

Charlie: Right.

Glenn: Not every multi vitamin gives you so many important nutrients that your body can actually absorb.

Rob: So absorbing everything it can, is a good thing?

Glenn: Oh no no no, it’s good. My body’s working at 100 percent efficiency. Yeah, my body’s absorbing every single nutrient and not wasting a thing.

Charlie: Your body is taking its job very seriously. 

Glenn: My body is doing its job like it never has done it before. You know. Plus AG1 supports muscle recovery and better sleep quality. Which is a big reason I take it every day.

Rob: It also has less than 1 gram of sugar, no gmos or nasty chemicals, and no artificial anything.

Glenn: Spoiler alert, you don’t wanna be absorbing that. Go green instead with Athletic Greens.

Charlie: Yeah!

Rob: To make it easy Athletic Greens is going to give you a free 1 year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and 5 free tribal packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit 

Charlie: Again that is to take ownership over your health. And pick up the ultimate daily nutrition insurance. 


*Turkey noise*

Meg: Have you guys hitchhiked and/or picked up a hitchhiker before?

Rob: Yes. 

Meg: Yeah? Which one?

Charlie: Mmm, no I don’t think either for me.

Rob: In New Jersey.

Meg: Hitchhiking?

Rob: In New Jersey like you know in like those–

Glenn: You picked one up or you were hitchhiking?

Rob: Both. Many times, yeah. 

Glenn: You’ve hitchhiked?

Rob: I have. But, not like, not like a hobo across the country. You know like, Jersey Shore towns, like in Shore towns where people are just going back and fourth to different like vacation spots. People would be hitchhiking all the time.

Glenn: Okay.

Rob: I’ve hitchhiked many, many times. I mean through like, entire summers back and fourth.

Glenn: But how many people did you uh, did you rob? How many people did you jack?

Rob: Zero. I had, I had, I had zero negative…I got into a car accident one time with somebody who was–

Glenn: Uh-oh.

Rob: who I was…I had hitched a ride with somebody who had been drinking.

Glenn: Mmm.

Rob: And I shoulda said, maybe I’ll get outta’ this one. I didn’t, and we got into an accident. But–

Glenn: Any of these people, they try to talk you into putting your mouth on them?

Rob: I, I, I woulda’ done it. 

Glenn: Sure. At the time.

Rob: I mean, at the time I woulda’ done it. 

Glenn: Now is that because you just were so appreciative of them giving you a ride. And you were like, well the least I can do is, is get my mouth on ya.

Rob: I was tryna get my mouth on anything I could. I was–

Glenn: Anything?

Rob: Well, not a dick. But that was just wasn’t my thing. But like, yeah I guess I’m saying–

Charlie: You said you woulda’ done it. And you did not specify what type of–

Rob: I’m thinking, I’m thinking more of if it was a female. 

Glenn: No. I was picturing a man. So…

Rob: Interestingly enough I didn’t even go there. I went right a woman, a young woman asking me to put my mouth on her for a ride. And that’s never happened in the history, in the history of human beings.

Glenn: In the history of hitchhiking no, no no.

Rob: I think it’s gonna be a man, that’s gonna be…and that–

Glenn: Sure, sure. 

Rob: I just, if I ran into Sizemore maybe. But other than that–

Glenn: Sizemores gonna want you to split him up like a coconut.

Charlie: Like a coconut, yeah. 

Meg: *Laughter*

Glenn: There’s so many moments in this episode that, that had me chuckling. Umm, I’ll try to remember–

Charlie: Little things that–

Meg:  You guys trying to name the states. I thought was very funny. Saying east Virginia and West Virginia and north Virginia and all those.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Some of the things from my…well that, that…the east Virginia West Virginia and north Virginia came from a thing that, I swear to god I was like 25 or 20, no, 23 and I was in New York and I was looking at a map of the United States. And I was looking at West Virginia and it was like as if someone had told me there was like a west California. I was like, I just kinda forgotten, I had forgotten about West Virginia. I just, just for…’Cause like, I’m like which teams or like…you don’t hear about it. There’s a chunk of my life from like, 5th grade when you learn the states to my adulthood where I had forgot about West Virginia. Eh so, I think that like, that state thing was like going in there to like make fun of that. Also like the, her opting out for the cheaper uh, radio situation.

Meg: Uh-huh.

Charlie: Was something that my parents had done in my childhood. 

Glenn: Oh yeah, yeah.

Charlie: Which I think I’ve said on this. Where they, I had a Honda–

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: accord 1985. Well, they had a Honda accord 1985 with no radio. 

Glenn: Yeah. 

Charlie: Just a little plastic plate that said Honda. 

Meg: *Laughter*

Charlie: Because it was cheaper to get the option with no car radio.

Glenn: Listen, not even, not a cd player, not a tape deck, no radio?

Charlie: No radio man. So I would ride around with a boom box. And yeah. Well I think music is distracting when you’re driving and therefore dangerous.

Meg: Yeah.

Charlie: Also like, they didn’t like listen to like pop music. Like occasionally like–

Glenn: Throw on a classical station, no?

Charlie: Yeah, mhm. Like some NPR, the news. Usually the news was on. Or someone would sit a piano and be like trying to like figure like, knuckle out like a–chopin piece. Or something–

Glenn: It’s funny, I look at your parents and they look like the physical embodiment of NPR. 


Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: You know? That’s like, it’s like NPR in human form. 

Charlie: Yeah! It’s just, they were, they were music uh, theory people. But not like, not like Rock N Roll people.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: So uh…yeah, so like my mom’s just teaching music class from Kindergarten to 8th grade. My dad is teaching at the local college. And yeah, music, everywhere but right not in the car.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: But like, I got music in the car. So in High School, my buddy uh, Sean Culter had a Male Jeep. He had, he had put a uh, a radio in there, that he sorta put it in himself. And the radio had a brand name, it was called the Sparkomatic. 

Glenn: Ohhh.

Charlie: Now I bought the Sparkomatic off of Culter and put it my car. I had the, it didn’t quite fit, so you had to put like little pieces of wood in there just to kinda like, get it to stay in.

Glenn: Sweet.

Charlie: And it worked. Went to, had it for like 2 weeks, went to one Motel 6 party, somebody stole the Sparkomatic man.

Glenn: They jacked it?

Charlie: The Sparkomatic dude! 

Glenn: Oh, the Sparkomatic. 

Charlie: Of all things. 

Glenn: Oh man. What a bummer.

Meg: Do you think that the absence of that, the hole that it left behind, led to your hatred of holes? And why you weren’t impressed by the Grand Canyon?

Charlie: That’s a good callback you were tryna’ do there.

Meg: ‘Cause you were…yeah, was tryna’ ducktail.

Glenn: Tie it all together.

*TIME STAMP 45:36*

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: This is what Meg does. You’re a great storyteller. 

Meg: *Laughing*

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Um, one thing I did uh, I did pick up on that I remembered in the conceiving of or the writing of the episode. I don’t remember where it came, if it was in the break or if it just came when we were writing it was, the French press.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Getting the French press at the Italian market.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Because that came from a very specific um…I did a road trip from Alabama to Los Angeles. I uh, my highschool car kinda died on me and so I went back to Alabama and I bought my moms car. Like an old Lexus es. I was like, ya know, driving across the country you gotta have, you gotta have coffee. Right? But the coffee at gas, this was before there was a Starbucks at different exits. Right? So the coffee, you could really only get coffee at like gas stations and stuff like that. So I was like, I’m gonna buy, I’m gonna bring my own coffee grounds. And bring like just a little like personal French press. And I’ll stop at the gas station, I’ll fill up, I’ll go inside and I’ll ask where the hot water is ya know, for the tea and stuff. And I would just go in the gas station and I would put my own coffee in the French press. And I would fill it with water.

Charlie: “Excuse me sir, where’s your hot water for tea?”

Glenn: You know–

Rob: That’s the Glenniest Glenn shit I’ve ever heard. And yet, it makes absolute sense.

Glenn: It does, right?

Rob: It’s definitely the thing that I would make fun…and at the time did make fun of you for, and would still make fun of you for. But also would love, I would love to enjoy a cup of that coffee.

Glenn: Exactly so–

Rob: It makes absolute sense.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: It’s just so particular but it also is fantastic.

Glenn: Yes, no it is very, it is very very very Glenn. You’re absolutely right. Adding as many steps to my life as possible. You know what I mean?

Meg: Or as, Rob would’ve just sucked somebody off for a better cup of coffee.

Glenn: Right, he would’ve just. 

Charlie: Right, right, right.

Rob: If I needed a lift across the country.

Glenn: He would’ve let the guy drink an espresso, and then sucked his cock.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: And got the caffeine that way. 

Charlie: I mean, that’s when uh, the show is at its best. Like everyones bringin’ stuff from their own lives. And you know, you got Marder’s blueberry story. And like, just every little things goin’ in there. And then–

Glenn: Do we do that anymore? Is there any thing, any piece of our lives left–

Charlie: That is the fear right? The longer you’re in the business, that you’re like, ah…do I live enough of a life to–

Glenn: Well, yes–

Charlie: Right? Write to it and–

Glenn: I’ve thought about this a lot. Where I’m like, I need to just like take a year off and just like live, like refill…you know, have stories to tell. I don’t have, you know, if you’re working all the time you run out of stories to tell. 

Meg: In the writers room we very typically go, what do people do? 

Glenn: Yeah, no–

Meg: That question comes up now and then.

Charlie: What do people do?

Meg: What do people do? 

Glenn: What do people who–

Meg: What’s a thing that people do?

Rob: Especially if you’ve been working together for so long. You already know what everybody’s parents did to fuck them up. And that’s what every writers room is anyway. Is like, people trying to like, mine their, their, history. And try to figure out who they are and why they are like that. And then put it, like imbue it into the characters. We already, we already know, I know all the secrets.

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Rob: I know all the secrets.

Glenn: Yeah. Oh boy. 

Rob: We’ve already gone to the show.

Glenn: Oh boy.

Meg: Do you guys have any travel destinations still on your bucket lists you’d like to see before you die? Anything, you wanna check out?

Glenn: Before I die…uhhh–

Meg: Maybe the Grand Canyon, Rob?

Rob: Nah. I’m not really interested in the Grand Canyon as much.

Meg: Nah? Nah, nah.

Glenn: The Grand Canyon’s pretty awesome dude.

Rob: I’m gonna, I want to go to um, I wanna go to Africa. I’ve never been to Africa.

Glenn: Mhm. Yeah. I’d love to go to Egypt, yeah. I would like to go to Egypt. Definitely, I wanna see the pyramids before I die. For sure.

Meg: Mhm.

Charlie: Same with me, but I’d wanna go–

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: everywhere. Just uh, not right now. 

Meg: *Laughter*

Glenn: Yeah. Tiring. 

Charlie: But at some point. 

Glenn: Mhm.

Charlie: At some point. 

Glenn: Mhm.

Meg: Well, the next trip we’re taking is just right across the way, to the stages. 

Glenn: Stages, yeah.

Meg: Where you guys are gonna live for the next um, few weeks.

Charlie: We walked into the bar, uh today.

Meg: Oh you did. How’s that?

Charlie: And every season since like, five or six, I get a crazy sensation walking into that bar.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Mhm. 

Charlie: Where it feels like, you’re home. And it feels like this place that you’ve lived. And that, in a weird way that you also are the character even though you’re you. I know this sounds psychotic. But like–

Meg: You’ve worked there for a long time.

Charlie: Yeah. 

Glenn: It’s few…you click into something immediately stepping onto that stage. Maybe that’s part of what you’re talking about? Like, you step onto the stage and you start to feel like you’re becoming the character, again or something?

Charlie: A little bit. And you feel the history of how many years we’ve been working on that sta…that set…in that, that bar.

Rob: There’s also still the excitement, especially in the very beginning. Where everything’s still being put together. And all the electricians are there. 

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And the construction people are there. And the props are there. And wardrobe is there. And the ADs are there. And there’s an energy to it.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: That it’s all coming back together.  

Charlie: Yeah, maybe it’s that. But to me it’s like the floor. And the bar.

Glenn: Mhm.

Charlie: And the space. And–

Glenn: Certain little triggers like that.

Charlie: Yeah it takes me all the back to the Herald Examiner. Where we kinda, found the location and started you know–

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Working on it for the first time. To all the years that we’ve been there.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: To this weird like, other life that I’ve lived. Where it’s like, I’ve been…I’ve had a life but I’ve also been this person for a long time.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah.

Charlie: And it’s sweet. I love it. You know? It’s like uh–

Glenn: Boy you could really see the dust in the air though, couldn’t ya? Did you guys see that? You guys pick up on that? I wa…I of course, that’s my brain goes. 

Charlie: Too dusty?

Glenn: I walked on the stage and it was just like, “Oooo. What am I breathing? What am I breathing?” That’s my first thought.

Meg: Let that settle.

Glenn: Your first thought was like, “Oh you know there’s so much history here.” Such a more, a much more healthy thought. You know what I mean?

Charlie: Well, you know, I feel that way about movie sets. The way you feel about the Grand Canyon. 

Glenn: The magic is there for you on a movie set. 

Charlie: The magics there for me in a false reality. So, is it better? I don’t know. 

Glenn: I’m not sure.

Charlie: I looked at the Grand Canyon, I saw a lot of dust. 


[End Credits]


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