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Episode #73

Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens

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73. Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens

On the pod, the guys revisit Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 5, Episode 8.

Rob McElhenney: Good morning.

Charlie Day: Aye!

Glenn Howerton: Yeah man. Whatever you say, dude. 

Rob: Whatever you say. Is what it is I guess bro.

Charlie: I mean dude, if you say so. 

Glenn: Yeah man. If you, if you say so. 

Rob: I guess it’s good. 

Charlie:  I mean, what makes it so good?

Glenn: If you say so, if you say so man.

Rob: Okay. Season five, episode eight.

Glenn: Oh Jesus Christ.

Charlie: Right into it. Rob, what makes the morning good?

Glenn: Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Charlie: Why is the morning good?

Glenn: I haven’t even had a sip of coffee yet. I haven’t even had a sip.

Rob: What!

Glenn: I haven’t even had a sip of coffee yet. And I’ve been up since 5:15.

Rob: Really?

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Why’d you get up so early?

Glenn: Um, I'm trying so hard to be somebody that can wake up early and like, you know, workout first thing in the morning. I've tried, I've done it. I've done it for periods of time before. But it’s just–

Charlie: Sure.

Glenn: –it’s brutal.

Rob: Are you wakin’ up and you’re going straight to workout? 

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Are you eating anything?

Glenn: No.

Rob: Are you–and you don’t have any coffee before? 

Glenn: No. I go–I–so, yeah. I’ll–the alarm goes off at 5:15. I jump out of bed, throw my gym clothes. I go downstairs, I drink basically a giant glass of water. Uh, and uh, take some amino acids. 

Rob: Sure. 

Glenn: Right. So a little protein for the muscles to syn–synthesize, while I'm working out. 

Rob: Okay.

Glenn: And then I go straight to the gym. 

Rob: Wow. 

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: But, you know–

Rob: How you gonna have any energy?

Charlie: Here’s the thing that–

Rob: Without any food?

Charlie: –that stinks about it. 

Glenn: I have more energy. 

Charlie: You get older, and like, everything gets a little stiffer. A little creekier. And it’s like, boy if–if you’re doing that workout at like 9.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: 10. 

Glenn: Bodies had a chance to warm up a little bit.

Charlie: Yeah. You’re feeling–

Glenn: I spend the first–

Charlie: -you’re feeling moible.

Glenn: I spend the first five minutes on the treadmill on–

Charlie: Getting loose. 

Glenn: On a steep uphill climb. Like walk.

Charlie: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

Glenn: You know? Gettin’, gettin’ the muscles warmed up. Getting everything loose. 

Charlie: Mm-hm.

Glenn: And then, and that’s the beginning of my warm up. And then I do, I have like a whole warmup routine that I do. So I warmup for 15, 20 minutes before my workout even starts. 

Charlie: Wow.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Good. And how long is your workout?

*Light Laughter*

Glenn: The workout itself is probably uh, 45 minutes.

Charlie: Thus the 5:15 wakeup. Because–

Glenn: Yeah. Exactly. ‘Cause I’m not, I’m not done until–I’m not in the gym until, you know. Just after 5:30. And then, you know, my workouts not really done until around 6:40. 

Charlie: And being honest. How long you think we’re gonna be keepin’ up this, this early morning regiment. 

Glenn: I’ve gone through long periods of time, long stretches where I’ve been good about it. Um, It’s just a matter of–like it really sucks like, I’m just–I want so desperately to be one of those people that can just get 7 and a half hours of sleep. It seems like a very reasonable amount of sleep to get. And I can do it. But like really, my body wants 9. So, I’m forcing myself to just get 7 and a half. And uh–why, why are you laughing? 

Charlie: You know why I’m laughing. I really don’t know. 

Glenn: You know, it’s just–

Rob: Talkin’ about what your body wants. With such–

Charlie: Yeah. 

Rob: –clarity and earnestness. 

Glenn: Well because, what–what I–so, what I’ve heard, and I don’t know if you guys have heard this. But that our body sleeps in 90 minute cycles. Right? So you wanna–you wanna be on a 90 minute cycle, no matter what it is. Whether it’s hour 6. You wake up 6 hours of sleep. That’s a 90 minute cycle. 7 and a half, that’s 90 minutes. 9, but like, anything not that is not as good. 

*Laughter*

Glenn: I don’t know man. 

Charlie: I don’t know either.

Glenn: I do find that it’s true. That around, around 6 like–I wake up in 90 cycles and go back to sleep.

Charlie: *Laughter* I’m trying to take this seriously. But I–

Glenn: I don’t know why this is so funny. 

Charlie: I don’t, it’s just–it just–

Glenn: It’s the–my, my peculiarness. Particularness.

Charlie: It’s funny because like, yeah. The specificity of it. 

Glenn: Yeah. I know.

Charlie: Where it’s like, you know. Go to bed, wake up. Don’t worry about it, like–

*Laughter*

*Opening credits*

Rob: I’m all over the place now. I’m all over the place.

Charlie: With your sleep?

Rob: With everything. I, I, I went to–for a while, without drinking alcohol. Just to see how that made me feel. Same.

Glenn: Same?

Rob: Same.

Glenn: I thought you, I thought you–I seem to recall you saying it made you feel worse.

Rob: Yeah. Maybe worse.

Glenn: ‘Cause you weren’t as, you weren’t–like, you weren’t experiencing the joy of having a manhattan at night. 

Rob: That’s right.

Glenn: And that was the only difference. And as a result, you took one joyful thing away, and replaced it with nothing.

Rob: Yeah, well, I was drinking those, those “Feels Frees”. Which I–we might have around the office here. That Glenn–

Glenn: Yeah, we’ve got some in the fridge.

Rob: You introduced me to something called a, “Feel Free”. 

Glenn: Sorry about that. 

Rob: Which is just an over the counter supplement. Which I thought was like, you know, like an energy drink or something like that. And it turns out it just gets you high.

Glenn: Nah. 

Rob: It gives you something. Whatever it gives you.

Charlie: A little bit of a high.

Rob: I thought, “Well, I feel free. I’ll drink one of these to feel free, instead of, instead of the manhattan at night.”

Glenn: Sure.

Rob: Just to have something. You know, to–

Charlie: Mm-hm.

Glenn: Well, that is what it–that was the guy who created “Feel Free”, was um, a recovering alcoholic. Who wanted something that he could drink socially, yet wasn’t bad for him. But that made him feel, something.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: So, so–

Glenn: That was the whole purpose of it initially.

Rob: –so I, I, I, I felt free. And uh, and decided to stop drinking the manhattan at night. And then um, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it. It was fine. But I didn’t feel better. And so then, I thought, “Well what if I just have a second Feel Free?” Now, you’re not supposed to do that. 

Glenn: No you’re not.

Rob: That’s exceeding the uh–

Charlie: That’s too free.

Rob: That’s too–*laughter* too free. You’re exceeding the recommended do–

Glenn: Dosage.

Rob: –you’re doubling the recommended dosage. Which of course, that’s never gonna lead to anything. So, I stopped doing that. But then I, I–last week started drinking in Manhattan again, now I'm happy. Now I'm happy because I'm drinking Manhattan, but I didn't take away the “Feel Frees”. So–

Glenn: You’re doing both.

Charlie: So you’re doubling down. You’re getting free.

Rob: I’m doubling down. I feel almost–

Charlie: You’re free enough to have a manhattan.

Rob: I feel almost in that stage that was–that I was in, I don’t know, 12 years, 15 years ago. Where uh, I was smoking very heavily. And then decided, okay. I’m gonna quite smoking–

Glenn: Wait, how many years ago did you say?

Charlie: More than that buddy.

Glenn: I think it’s a lot more than that buddy.

Charlie: I hate to–

Rob: Really? 20 years ago?

Charlie: I hate to–yeah. 

Rob: Yeesh.

Charlie: Yeah. We’re looking at 20.

Rob: Well, that’s good though. 

Glenn: That’s very good.

Rob: That’s good, that’s good news to have. I’ve been–I’ve been smoke free–I’ve felt free from smoke for 20 years.

Charlie: Mm-hm.

Rob: But I would chew the nicotine gum, instead. And I chewed so much nicotine gum. 

Glenn: It's great. 

Rob: And it was great. I loved it. But then one night, I was out probably with you. And I was like, well, I'll just have a cigarette. So then I had a cigarette. And then I realized I was smoking at night and then just chewing the gum all day long. And I was doing the nicotine gum and the cigarettes. 

Glenn: And the cigarettes. Yeah.

Rob: And then I had to stop it all. So that's kind of where I'm at right now. Where I'm, I'm drinking the, I'm drinking the “feel–”. Well, first of all, I'm starting the day with a “five hourse of energy.”  *Laughter*

Glenn: A “five hour energy drink”?

Charlie:  Are you drinking one of those every day? 

Rob: Every day. Instead of–the same way you guys

Glenn: I still have never tried one of those. I’ve never tried. I’ve got to try it.

Rob: That’s because you’re not adventurous. When I drink–

Glenn: I am adventurous. I like adventure. I like mystery. I like discovery. 

Rob: I–you handed me a “Feel Free” and I said–

Charlie: He just told you that you were not adventurous, but you gave him the “Feel Free”.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Exactly. I, he’s like, “Hey. Try this.” I was like, “All right.”

Glenn: I opened a whole new realm for him. 

Rob: That happened here.

Charlie: Define your–define adventure? 

Rob: That–that happened here. You said, “Here. You should drink this.” 

Glenn: Oh, yes.

Rob: And I was like, “Oh. Okay.” 

Glenn: It was after–

Rob: And so I drank it. I was like, “That–that tastes bad.” And you went, “Did you drink the whole thing?” By the way, they’re this big. “Did you drink the whole thing?” And I was like, “What the fuck are you talking about? You said drink it.” And then you turned your head, and when you turned back around, I drank it.

Charlie: Oh. And you were high as a kite for a while. 

Rob: I was like–It was just a strange feeling. It felt like uh–

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Like, it felt like you were high. 

Glenn: Well the first time–yeah. Especially the first time you are really only supposed to drink half a bottle. And some people–that, that really is one dose. One dose is half a bottle. And then you can take a second dose later. Should you so choose, and drink the second half of the bottle. But you just downed the whole thing.

Rob: But the bottle is–just to clear.

Glenn: No. It’s tiny. 

Rob: It’s this big.

Glenn: Yeah, it’s what? 2 ounces? Maybe?

Rob: So anyway, yeah I’m–I’m a, I, I don’t drink the coffee. I do the “five hours of energy”. Solely because it doesn’t hurt my stomach. I’m drinking one of those–I’m drinking one of those a day.

Charlie: You’ve had so many thousands of hours of energy.

Rob: Buddy, yesterday I–Buddy, yesterday I had 10 hours of energy. 

Charlie: Wow.

Glenn: What do you mean?

Rob: I got up early, I did my “five hours of energy”--

Charlie: Yeah, see. That’s not enough energy.

Rob: I said I need ten hours of energy today.

Glenn: Five hours later you took another one?

Rob: So, about, about six–five, six hours later–

Glenn: You needed more energy.

Rob: I needed–I, I had a long day of work yesterday. 

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And I had to, I needed, I needed to push through. And I see when everybody has their afternoon tea.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Or coffee. 

Glenn: Now how did the second one make you feel? Did it, did it do–sometimes I have the afternoon coffee, and it’s just no good. Like, it just, it makes me more tired. Or something. Like, it just doesn’t, like my body just rejects it. 

Rob: No, not me. It blasts me back off.

Glenn: No, your body was happy?

Rob: But then it’s, it’s hard–it, it definitely makes it harder to sleep at night. 

Glenn: Oh yeah. Effects your sleep.

Charlie: Mm, sure. Sure.

Rob: Hence the manhattan. 

Charlie: Sure. Hence the manhattan. 

Glenn: *Laughter* Ah.

Rob: It’s a really good system. I think Judy Garland had this nailed. Like at one point.

Charlie: I’m so full of energy, I gotta get the energy–yeah.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: You know what I mean? Where like, you get up, you get down.

Charlie: Barbiturates. Or whatever. 

Rob: And then, eventually you stay down.

Glenn: And then–*Laughter* 

Charlie: The studio gets you down. Well until–

Rob: But listen, I’m also, I’m coupling that with this green juice. 

Glenn: That’ll cleanse you. 

Charlie: Okay, okay. Your Athletic Greens. 

Rob: Now, this isn’t just green vegetable juice. 

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: Okay.

Rob: And then I workout. You know, I workout pretty hard. Which means my hearts probably gonna explode at some point.

Glenn: Now, you know that the vegetables. They’re fightin’ ya too. Right? You know the vegetables they’ve got their own defense mechanisms. And they, they’re difficult to break down. And uh, so everything’s killing us guys. Everything’s killing us.

Rob: Are you tell–are you telling me that, not to drink vegetables now?

Glenn: I’m telling you–

Rob: Not to eat vegetables.

Glenn: I’m telling you that vegetables have things in them that make them, somewhat toxic to us. 

Rob: *Laughter*

Glenn: Not all. Most of them do. Most of them do. This is true.

Charlie: *Laughter*

Rob: When–

Charlie: You guys are so amazingly Mac and Dennis. 

*Laughter*

Charlie: You know. Like, like–I mean the overlaps are really funny. Like when–

Rob: Well it all comes from somewhere.

Charlie: Yeah. It does. It’s gotta come from somwhere.

Glenn: Of course it does. 

Charlie: Well, smoke some cigarettes and suffocate the–the–

Rob: Toxins.

Charlie: –the toxins. From the appleseeds.

Rob: When did, when did–where? This is new. But I, you always come in with new, new, new, new age like, information.

Glenn: Well, we’ve known this for a while.

Charlie: New that vegetables are bad for you? Oh dude.

Glenn: Well, we’ve known this for a while. Like, people have problems with–

Charlie: We’ve known.

Glenn: –people have a problem with nightshades. Right?

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: You know of people who are like allergic– “I’m allergic to nightshades.” Or whatever.

Charlie: Sure.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: It’s because–

Rob: Well, Tom Brady. I’ve heard Tom Brady say that. That he doesn’t train–

Glenn: Yes.

Rob: –eat nightshades. 

Glenn: So–

Charlie: He’s trying to keep his information down.

Rob: Yeah. 

Glenn: Yes. Exactly. But why would eating a vegetable give you inflammation? For all the same reasons that I’m talking about. So too much of anything basically, is not a, not a good thing. I’ve co–I’ve come full circle on the meat thing. I mean look, we were told for a long time. Like you're not supposed to eat red meat. It's bad for you, don't eat red meat.

Charlie: Sure. Get your cholesterol out.  

Glenn: And then everybody in the world of like health and wellness and longevity is like no, no, eat nothing but meat. Vegetables are killing you. Like you can have some asparagus and some zucchini but that’s it.

Charlie: That’s the whole Atkins thing. And he died at like 50. Right?

Glenn: Yeah. But that’s ‘cause, that’s people were doing that wrong. And, and you know. He was eating like, you know–

Rob: Also, didn’t he slip and fall. And hit his head.

Glenn: –factory bacon.

Rob: I think–

Charlie: Oh really? 

Rob: –one of those cats like, like died young. And people use that as evidance as to how not to live. But I think he like cracked his fuckin’ head open on the sidewalk.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. But that’s ‘cause he didn’t have the nutrients that he needed.

Charlie: Might not of if it landed on an eggplant.

*Laughter*

Charlie: To soften the blow. Threw some vegetables around, he would’ve been fine.

Glenn: Yeah. Couple of nightshades to land on.

Charlie: Right? But you land on that little piece of chicken, it’s too thing.

Rob: It’s, it’s the extremes. I love–

Glenn: Landed on a cutlet.

Rob: –the one I love is the Glenn of extremes. ‘Cause I do appreciate and respect how, how much time, effort and care you put in–to doing research. On, on, on whatever it might be. You’re gonna buy a, a, a new–you’re always like this. You’ve, you were gonna buy a new rug. And he would do 6 months of research on, on spool count. 

Charlie: Ah. Spool count. Nice.

Rob:  Thread count and spooling, spooling methods.

Glenn: I didn’t do that but he’s–I know what you’re saying. 

Rob: Yes. And so uh, when it came to your health, uh, constumption control. 

Charlie: Mm-hm.

Rob: Um, that you, you always just dove in head first. And I appreciate it. But then you would come–

Glenn: Okay. I’m, I’m a scientist. Is what I am.

Charlie: See, spool count would grab me. This conversation would grab me. And suddenly spool count, I would be like, okay.

Rob: That’s the whole scene.

Charlie: So, so Dennis is obsessed with spool count. 

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And has–

Glenn: And thread count.

Charlie: –and has–yeah. And thread count. And has been convinced that you guys have a rug in your apartment with a certain spool count. Only to find out that your spool count is like, way less–

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: –then what, you know–

Glenn: And as a result, the mice have really taken hold.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: And you know, they’ve built their little houses. And laid their eggs.

Charlie: And wants a return on the rug. Because the spool counts too low. Anyway–

Rob: So Mac starts injecting himself to get his spool count higher. Think that he’s talking about something else. 

Charlie: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: Thinking that I’m talking about jizz? 

Charlie: Your personal spool count. 

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: Um, but go on. You, you research and you–

Rob: Well and then, and then this would happen throughout the entire run of the show. Where Glenn would come in, and it wouldn’t be like, hey I’m trying this new diet. Or, I’m trying this new experimental thing. It would be, he would come in and be like, don’t you guys understand that eating food that is cooked is killing you. And we would be like, oh. Yesterday you–

Glenn: Again, just an example of something. Not something I’ve ever actually said. 

Rob: Ish.

Glenn: I’ve never said that cooking food kills you.

Rob: No, but like, when you were going through the um, the cayenne pepper thing. Which we’ve, which we’ve talked about.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: But you were very clear about how like, you, the, the things that you guys are doing, are, are killing you. Everything you put into your body is a toxin. 

Glenn: Mm-hm.

Rob: And then you would come in 6 months later and be like, everything I said 6 months ago is wrong. 

Glenn: Actually no. No. I would say I’m–

Rob: Sure.

Glenn: –on the cutting edge. 

Rob: No.

Glenn: Of something.

Rob: I would say that that–

Glenn: Yes, yes.

Rob: –I would say that–*laughter*. I would say that–

Glenn: No. No. 

Rob: *Laughter*

Glenn: Uh, I’m on the cutting edge. I don’t underst–I don’t know what you’re saying. I, I’m, I’m having trouble following this. Basically, I’m following the science. Right?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Right. And that’s constantly changing. And evolving. Because as we know, science is a liar sometimes. Right? So we’re constantly learning new things, right? The guy who created AI, didn’t know what it was gonna become. Of course he didn’t. How could he? Right? So science is evolving. We are evolving. As people, right? We learn, we learn new information. I’m sti–I’m 47 years old. And I’m still taking in new information. 

Rob: *Laughter*

Charlie: *Laughter*

Glenn: Can you believe it? Can you believe it?

Rob: Okay. This is why I lead with, I, I appreciate you’re always learning, and growing, and trying new things. 

Glenn: Do you?

Rob: It’s that you come in with such conviction that, that there is no doubt–

Glenn: No.

Rob: –in my mind–

Glenn: No.

Rob: –that starving myself–

Glenn: When was the last time I talked to you about food? And diet?

Rob: Today. 

Charlie: *Laughter*

Glenn: Yeah. But that;s because it came up on the podcast.

Rob: Oh. I see

Glenn: But like, do I, I–I don’t preach about what I eat. I don’t talk about what I eat with people. Unless they ask. Or if it comes up on a podcast–

Rob: I’m not saying that you preach about it.

Glenn: –cause it’s interesting. It’s a, it’s a good forum, you know, to talk about like, you know. We’ve gotta talk about something. 

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Right? 

Rob: Sure.

Glenn: But like, I don’t go around telling people–I, I don’t talk about my diet. 

Rob: No.

Glenn: I don’t talk about what I eat. I don’t talk about my supplements. I don’t talk about any of that shit. Now, maybe I used to. But I don’t anymore.

Rob: Okay. 

Glenn: So get off me–

*Laughter*

Charlie: That was great.

Glenn: So off my fucking balls.

Rob: Should I, should I drink the, the vegetable juice?

Charlie: I don’t know, I don’t know.

Glenn: I don’t know.

Charlie: We’re a little, the jurys out. 

Glenn: Well, what vegetables are in there?

Charlie: You can drink it, but it’s gonna fight you a little bit.

Rob: Look how green–

Glenn: It’s gonna fight you. Yeah, exactly. 

Rob: –look how green it is.

Charlie: Well, speaking of all these wonderful products. And getting heated about products.

Glenn: Yeah. That’s what we’re doing.

Charlie: Let’s talk about “Kitten Mittens. Home of the Original Mittens”? What is it? What is the title of the episode?

Rob: “Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens”. 

Charlie: “Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original–” 

Rob: Guys. This is season five, episode eight. Now this is–

Glenn: Why don’t you set this up for us, Rob.

Rob: Well, this is what happens in the episodes.  

Charlie: Okay.

Rob: Um. It aired on November 5th, 2009. It was written by Sonny Lee and Patrick Walsh. And directed by Randall Einhorn. 

Glenn: Another Einhorn.

Rob: “When a merchandising convention comes to town the gang tries to develop marketable products in attempt to build the Paddy’s brand.” I love this episode.

Glenn: Yeah. It’s very funny. Yeah.

Rob: I loved it. 

Charlie: Uh, I loved it as well. I, I didn’t remember a lot of it. Uh–

Glenn: It’s been a while.

Charlie: Yeah. It’s been a while since I watched it. It’s not one I think of often. Um, but it was pretty simple and fun and good. Uh–

Glenn: Yeah. I mean, there’s some iconic stuff. The most, the most iconic being of course the, the very first thing. The Kitten Mittens commercial.

Charlie: Is your cat making too much noise all the time? Is your cat constantly stomping around, driving you crazy? Is your cat clawing at your furnitures? Think there's no answer? You're so stupid. There is. Kitten Mittens. Finally, there's elegant comfortable mitten for cats.

*Cat noise*

Charlie: I couldn’t hear anything.

Charlie: I remember shooting that commercial and, and laughing how funny the cats walking was. 

Rob: Mm-hm.

Charlie: But I remember like everyone's like cracking up because, you know, oftentimes the video uh, monitors for the scene or just behind a, a fake wall. 

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: It's a set. Right?  So, you guys were in the other room. I remember like Randall like, laughing out loud. And you guys laughing. But I remember doing it and not thinking it was that funny, doing it. Just being like–

Glenn: That’s a weird thing, right? When you’re doing something and you’re like, “I don’t even–” and everyone’s laughing. You’re like, “I don’t even know why–this isn’t that funny.” 

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Normally I think everything’s funny. And I’m laughing as well.

Glenn: Yeah. Of course. Yeah, I know.

Charlie: I’m sure I was laughing a little bit there too. But uh–

Glenn: Well, you and I have always really enjoyed ba–like, bad acting.

Charlie: Ourselves. 

Glenn: Bad acting. 

Charlie: *Laughter* Bad acting.

Glenn: No. You know what I mean?

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love bad acting.

Glenn: Like, acting bad acting. Acting bad acting is always really, like, really, really fun. I think that was–and like, I know that’s what I was enjoying about it too. Is like you’re, you’re really bad inflections. 

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: You know what I mean? Like, pronouncing, like just, just the weird musicality of your–

Charlie: Yeah. Getting it wrong. Like, looking at your own hand. And, you know like, just like being–

Glenn: Doing a hand and then realizing, what was that. 

Charlie: Yeah. You did a hand, like is that okay to do.

Glenn: *Laughter*

Charlie: But uh, yeah. And then, and–your whole story line. I kinda forgotten a lot of it. Dude, the, the thong thing.

Rob: Yeah. So funny.

Glenn: Paddy’s Thong?

Charlie: Is so funny.

Glenn: Yeah. 

Charlie: And disturbing. And great.

Glenn: It’s really disturbing. 

Rob: Well, yeah. The, the–but that does feel like the rationale of the character. Is, I’m gonna buy–I’m gonna–we’re gonna sell women’s underwear, but we’re not gonna sell them to women. 

Charlie: We’re gonna sell them to men.

Rob: We’re gonna sell them to men. Who are gonna buy them for their ladies.

Glenn: It’s a visual stimulant. 

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Yeah. It’s not for the ladies. It’s for the man. *Laughter*

Charlie: And then of course Brian Unger. Who plays The Lawyer. Who we should have on this, on this podcast at somepoint. 

Glenn: Yeah. We really should. 

Charlie: He is so–

Rob: He’s so good.

Glenn: We should have–that’s a good–yeah. 

Charlie: He’s so good in it. He’s so funny. But, you know. I was watching it, being like, I don’t know what to talk about with this episode. Because I don’t remember any sort of like funny, things while filming.

Rob: Well, let’s talk about the dick towels.

Glenn: I can’t remember how the dick towel thing in particular–

Rob: I, I, I remember–

Glenn: Okay, yeah. How–

Rob: My, my mother came out to visit, my two mothers. And uh, we, we were living um–

Glenn: Not how I expected that story to start. 

Rob: Yeah, yeah. Well, we were, we were down in Venice Beach. And you know, when you walk along Venice Beach, or any beach town, really, I'm sure you could find this in Myrtle Beach or Virginia Beach. Um. They have those stores with–

Glenn: Oh. Yeah, yeah. 

Rob: –the funny t-shirts outside. And like–

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. There’s all–

Rob: –the big towels. Right? And–

Glenn: Yeah. Venice Boardwalk’s got tons of that. 

Rob: –and I remember seeing–

Charlie: Most beaches.

Rob: Most beach towns, yeah.

Glenn: Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Rob: And so, I just always remember seeing those ridiculous ones with the bikinis. And I, I’d always be like, “Who thinks that’s funny?” Like, “Who would ever buy that?” And–

Glenn: *Laughter* Your parents. Your mothers.

Rob: Both my mothers come out, and, and I’m back at the house. And they come back from the beach, and they’re both wearing them.

Glenn: *Laughter*

Rob: And they’re like, and they’re like, “Look at these! This is hilarious! It’s the funniest thing–” 

Glenn: It’s the, it’s the big t-shirt with the bikini–

Rob: Yeah. With the bikini ladies–

Glenn: –lady. 

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: –with the large breasts. And my mom would be like, “Look. I got big tits!” And I’m like, “Yup. That’s it. That’s–”

Charlie: Uh-huh.

Glenn: There it is.

Rob: There it is. 

Glenn: Yeah. That’s who.

Rob: And it was, and it was funny. I mean, it was funny. So, um, so that–we were talking about that. And then we were like, “How can we do a version of that in towel form?” And I still have the original dick towel, that Hornsby–

Glenn: The original.

Rob: –drew. So, I was explaining it to, I was explaining, like, what I was thinking. Where–

Glenn: Yeah. Mm-hm.

Rob: –one side would be this. And one side would be the other.

Charlie: Uh-huh.

Rob: And so, we had to do the math, where you folded it over and then it had to fit perfectly. And David just drew it.

Charlie: Right.

Rob: The first one. Just drew it. I still have it at that, at my house.

Mac: Okay. I’m thinking to myself, “What do people love more than anything else in the world?” They love comedy! 

Dennis: They do love comedy.

Mac: Everybody loves comedy! Right?

Dennis: Yeah.

Mac: So–and I’m funny. I, I could do funny. But, you gotta have functionality with your comedy. Okay.

Dennis: Right.

Mac: You can’t just go throwing jokes around willy-nilly. 

Dennis: Oh.

Mac: So I did one of those. 

Dennis: You drew a mens buttocks on a towel!

Mac: Yeah. You get out of the shower in the college dorm, they got the butt. Right.

Dennis: Oh, okay.

Mac: People are laughin’. Your buddies are laughing’.

Dennis: *Laughter*

Mac: And then, and then you give them one of these. Boom!

Dennis: *Laughter* Oh, that is big.

Mac: That’s a big monster dick.

Dennis: That’s huge.

Mac: That’s the biggest dick you ever seen.

Dennis: Yeah.

Mac: Right?

Dennis: That’s really, that’s not how you see yourself though?

Mac: Now that’s funny. 

Dennis: That is funny.

Mac: That’s funny.

Dennis: Yeah. People are gonna laugh at that.

Mac: But bro, that’s just the setup.

Dennis: What is it? 

Mac: For this. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Dennis: Oh. It’s a baby dick.

Mac: Yeah. We’re gonna sell a million of these.

Charlie: Well, we asked FX. We were like, “Uh. Can we sell these?” And they were like, “Yeah. You guys can. We can’t touch it.”

Rob: That’s exactly what happened. We went to FX and said, “We believe that we have a merchandising opportunity.” And they were like, “Oh, cool. Like, what can we do? T-shirts, like Paddy’s T shirts and Sunny T shirts?” And we were like, “Yeah, kinda. But what we really want to do is towel with two dicks on it.”

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob:  And they were like, “Mm–”

Glenn: “Mm. No.” 

Rob: So we got to FX and say um, “Can we–”

Charlie: “Check this out.

Rob: Yeah. “Let’s merchandise these towels.” And they came back, and they said, “We can’t do this.” 

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: “We just can’t do it. But if guys want to, we’re not gonna stop you.” Which we–which we appreciated. 

Charlie: Yeah. That was nice of them.

Rob: And then, we worked with our friends from Suburban Riot.

Glenn: Well, yes. Then we, then we thought like, “Well, okay. This is, like we could do a really funny episode. But really what this will be about, is selling dick towels.” 

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: You know what I mean? For us. Like, just making a little side money. Right? 

Charlie: I mean, I did hope–

Glenn: So, yes. 

Charlie: –at one point, that I’d be, you know. Charlie Day of the dick towel fortune. You know?

Glenn: *Laughter* I know, I know.

Charlie: I’d be perfectly fine with that. You know? You’re like, your kids in college. And you know, there’s like, “What’s your do?” “Uh, he sells dick towels.” 

Glenn: “He sells dick towels.”

Rob: So we set up the website. 

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Dicktowel.com.

Rob: Dicktowel.com. And then um, and then we had–

Charlie: It crashed immediately. 

Rob: It, it, it crashed–

Charlie: When the–

Rob: Only on the east coast. When it, when it aired, just on the east coast. The whole site crashed. They were not ready for the traffic.

*Laughter*

Rob: Which was a bummer. Because we don’t know exactly how many orders we got. 

Charlie: Right.

Rob: But within the first week, do you remember how many dick toles–dick towels we sold?

Glenn: No. I don’t.

Charlie: Well, we didn’t make a ton a money. 

Rob: Oh yes we–

Glenn: We did, we did pretty good.

Rob: –did. 

Glenn: We did pretty good.

Charlie: No. On the dick towels?

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: We did.

Charlie: Did you pay me? 

Rob: Once again. Charlie just gets checks and he puts them, and they come in, and they just sit on his–

Glenn: Yeah. Just a stack of checks. You know.

Rob: We made a lot of money from that. A lot of money from that. The di–we sold 50,000 dick towels. 50,000. Within like 3 weeks. 

Charlie: Do you think if we went on like Shark Tank, and we pitched each one of those products, which one do you think that they would want to invest in? The pen. The egg. The dick towel. The shotgun. The thong. Am I forgetting one? Is there another one?

Glenn: I don’t know. Do you guys watch that show? I can’t make he–I can’t make, I cannot figure out their thought process on that show. Somebody will come in with like the most amazing product and they’re like, “I just don’t see it. I don’t get it. Fuck off.”

Charlie: The thought process is they say–

Glenn: “This is stupid. You don’t have a good business plan.”

Charlie: “I’ll give you 100 grand and own like 50 percent of your company.” And people are like, “Oh. That’s a good idea.”

Glenn: Yes. But, I can’t–the thought process I mea–what I mean, when I say I can’t figure out the thought process. I can’t what it is–

Rob: What they’re lookin’ for?

Glenn: –that qualifies as something that they’ve–like, they will, they will be like–

Charlie: But that’s why I’m asking. 

Glenn: “I will give you–”

Charlie: That’s why I’m asking. Which product do you think would be–

Glenn: Well, the most successful product was the dick towel. So, I think the one that they would pick would probably be “egg”. 

Charlie: Mm.

Glenn: ‘Cause they’re like–

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: “Well, nobody’s gonna wanna buy you know, a dick towel.”

Charlie: But that’s the funny thing about business. Is like, where some guy goes and–or gal makes a fortune on something that, you know. You just don’t see, right? Like that’s–

Glenn: Totally.

Charlie: –having the vision to see the thing. That’s what, that’s what makes somebody the great business person.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Not me, not me. I wanna do the jokes. I wanna do the, you know–I don’t wanna sell the eggs. But, I’ll sell eggs.

*Ad break*

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Charlie: Yeah. Yeah.

Glenn: Right? Within days. In a very cool, very, very discreet by the way, package. If you don’t wanna anyone to know. It’s very discreet.

Charlie: Okay. That’s helpful. Yeah. And you know, you know what else is great? It’s all done online. You know? So, you know, no, no awkward visits with your doctor. No awkward exams. No announcements over the loud speaker. Like, “This guy here, you know, he’s, he wants an erection.” You know, none of that. None of that. 

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Charlie: And you know what? We actually have a, a special offer for our listeners. Try Bluechew free, when you use our promo code Sunny. At checkout, just pay 5 dollars shipping. That’s Bluechew.com promo code Sunny, to receive your first month free.

Glenn: Why would you do it not for free, when you could do it for free. So visit Bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew for sponsoring the podcast.

Charlie: Woohoo.

*Sunny music*

Rob: Wouldn’t you know it? We are supported by AG1.

Glenn: AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that supports whole body health with each scoop. You are absorbing, get this, absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and whole food sourced ingredients.

Rob: I actually uh, lean on AG1 when I’m traveling. I, I use a, a single serving AG1 travel pack to help support my immune system when I’m going back and forth to Europe. And guess what? I’m not gettin’ sick. Plus it gives me that little pep in my step. You know, a little energy. Which I love.

Glenn: Well, that’s because AG1 is uh, made with a science driven formula. And they’re uh, they’re constantly testing it and updating it. You know, they know how to build your health from the, from the foundation up. ‘Cause you know what? You’re a house. I’m a house. You’re a house. We’re all a bunch of homes that uh, need a strong foundation to stand on.

Rob: Don’t be a house of cards. Be a house of steel.

Glenn: Yeah. Let’s be honest, the stuff just tastes good, right? You guys like the taste?

Charlie: Yeah. I like the taste.

Glenn: Yeah. That’s right. It doesn’t, it doesn’t taste like a foundational supplement like you would normally get. You know what I mean? It’s subtly sweet and delicious.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. It’s like, it’s like having the basement and foundation with like a gourmet kitchen inside.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It’s a lot like that. Yeah, I started taking AG1 every single day. Not only because I wanted to consolidate my supplement regiment, but because I wanted to sure up my gut health.

Charlie: Ah, yeah. Gotta get that good. 

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Rob: That’s drinkAG1.com/sunny. Check it out.

*Ad break over*

Rob: I loved when we talked about how when the, the–I mentioned that the technology just isn’t there to propel water from a gun. 

Glenn: Yeah. Right, right, right.

Rob: “Well, they figured it out with water pistols.”

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. There are water guns. Yeah.

Charlie: “Doesn’t how–you can’t feel the steel. You wanna feel the steel in your mouth.”

Rob: “You wanna feel the steel in your mouth.” 

*Laughter* 

Glenn: One of my favorite bits is, is the uh, eating of the contract. Um–

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: It is very, very funny. You’re, the face that you’re making, the, the, the, the self satisfaction. On your face.

Rob: Of having solved the problem. 

Glenn: Of having solved the problem in that first scene. And us of course, you know, that you’ve also solved the problem. And then, of course at the end, same thing. And then you’re still chewing on it.

Mac: Excuse me sir. Can I see these supposed documents that you have? 

The Lawyer: Why yes. Um, in fact, I happen to have that right here. 

*The gang cheers*

Dee: I knew it! 

Mac: It’s still new enough to be edible. 

Dee: Right in your face. 

The Lawyer: Yeah. You know fortunately I made hundreds of copies of that. So uh, why don’t you all have just a nice day. 

Charlie: How is the taste of the contract? And of course, you never actually swallowed one, right?

Rob: I never, never swallowed it. But I also don’t remember there ever being prop paper. I think it was just a piece of paper that I ate.

Glenn: Yeah. It doesn’t taste like anything, it’s just paper.

Rob: Just paper.

Charlie: Prop paper is paper.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: That’s right.

Glenn: It doesn’t have to be any–

Charlie: It could’ve been like some sort of rice based paper that they made.

Rob: Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe.

Charlie: So that you could actually eat it.

Rob: Yeah. It seems, that seems like something that a real show would have. Wouldn’t it? 

Charlie: I don’t know how many real shows have people eating contracts.

*Laughter*

Charlie: Just like, some lawyer show where it’s like, “Well, I solved another one.” Just eats the contract.

Glenn: Just eats it at the end.

Rob: Speaking of real show. We had a lot of, we had a lot of non speaking featured actors. That were not background in, in the episode. 

Glenn: Mm.

Rob: And one of which, uh, I remember, I distinctly remember being in, in the scene uh, the young woman that Fra–that Frank brings in. 

Glenn: Brenda.

Rob: Yeah. And–

Glenn: I believe is the characters name.

Rob: –where everybody’s talking and she doesn’t say anything. And I, I remember her saying like, “I think I should say something here.” And our response wasn’t, “No you shouldn’t.” It was “We can’t afford–”

Glenn: “We can’t–”. Yeah. 

Rob: “We can’t afford it.”

Glenn: Yeah. “We can’t pay you the extra that it costs in–”. And for people who don’t know this, like, the second a character, a character has a line you–they’re pay goes way, way up.

Rob: Way up. And I, I, I remember being like, “She should say something. This is ridiculous.”

Charlie: Yeah. It’s, it’s–

Rob: They’re just dead silent in this episode.

Glenn: It wasn’t that we–it wasn’t even that we couldn’t afford it. It was that we hadn’t budgeted for it.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: So we couldn’t afford it in the sense that it would’ve been–

Rob: So everybody on the set like–

Glenn: –an overage.

Rob: Yeah. It–you can’t do it. And we already had guest cast, speaking guest cast–

Glenn: Yeah. 

Rob: –in the show. Brian.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: The guy at the end.

Charlie: And we were young enough to not know that we could be like, “Yeah. Let’s just do it.”

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Oh, now we would do it.

Charlie: Now. Yeah, yeah. “Just go ahead and say something. And then we’ll figure out where to save the money somewhere else.”

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. 

Charlie: The other woman who Dee and I bring in to uh, she plays a prostitute and it’s our form of payment. 

Glenn: Oh yeah. Wasn’t–

Charlie: Was on a reality show with like, Axl Rose. Called like–

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Love is a Rose? Or, Love is an Axl? Or–

Glenn: She was a *laughter*. 

Charlie: For the love of an Axl Rose? Um, I don’t know.

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah. 

Charlie: I don’t know what the show was called. It was like a VH1 reality show.

Glenn: Yeah. That’s right. Yeah, I forgot about that.

Charlie: Um–

Glenn: I don’t remember what it was though. Was it–it was some kind of a dating show though? 

Charlie: Yeah. I think he was like choosing who to be his next wife? I don’t know. I don’t know what it was.

Glenn: Weird. 

Charlie: I don’t remember.

Glenn: That seems weird that Axl Rose–was that–was it maybe not Axl Rose? Maybe, maybe it was–Oh no. There was the guy–

Rob: Bret Michaels?

Glenn: Bret Michaels did a show.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: That seems like something Bret Michaels would do. 

Charlie: Yes, yes, yes.

Glenn: Well he did do–he did have a reality show. It was like, Give me Love. Or something.

Charlie: That’s what it was. I think that’s what was.

Glenn: Give me it. Um–

Charlie: I don’t know–that–they conflict with me as people.

Glenn: Maybe you’re thinking–wait. Did they sing Every Rose has its Thorn? Is that Bret Michaels?

Rob: Isn’t that Poison? Yeah.

Glenn: Is that Bret Michaels?

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah. That might’ve been what the show was.

Glenn: That’s what you’re thinkin’. That’s, that’s why you were thinking Axl Rose. ‘Cause he sings that song. Every Rose has its Thorn.

Charlie: Yeah. 

Glenn: Maybe.

Charlie: Rose. Rockstars. I don’t know. Glamrock.

Rob: But Axl Rose is in a different category–

Charlie: Absolutely. Of course.

Rob: –I mean, I know what you mean. In terms of the, the file system in your brain, I get why you put Bret Michaels and Axl Rose in the same category. That, that does make sense. But, they’re drastically different. 

Charlie: Yes. As performance of course.

Glenn: Yeah. Some say.

Charlie: Um, but like–

Rob: Axl Rose top five voices in the history of rock and roll, yes? Yes? Voices.

Charlie: Top five voices in the history of rock and roll? 

Rob: No. Top ten. Top ten. In the top ten. 

Glenn: Pshuu.

Rob: So distinct. When you hear his voice–like, if you hear Bret Michaels sing, yeah he’s got a–

Charlie: Top ten of all rock and roll? 

Rob: Well, what’s the criteria? Are you say–

Charlie: Mm. No.

Rob: Like, he rocks. 

*Laughter*

Rob: Loud. 

Charlie: He’s loud.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: He’s loud. He’s consistent. But you know–when you hear his voice you know it’s him. It’s dist–it’s distinct.

Glenn: Okay. But how many distinct–

Rob: But not in the way of like–by the way, like, like Bob Dylan has a distinct voice. But you wouldn’t say, you wouldn’t say–

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Rob: –like, it’s like a great–I mean, a traditionally great voice. 

Glenn: Right. As in like, he can’t hit the notes. And he sometimes–

Rob: Yes. And–

Glenn: –sings straight through his nose.

Rob: –that idiosyncratic delivery is what makes him, also what makes him great.

Glenn: Yes. That’s right.

Rob:  But you wouldn’t classify that as, like a traditionally great voice.

Glenn: Yes. Whitney Houston–

Charlie: So Axl Rose, in terms of like range and ability, you mean? Like, yeah. Well I mean, yeah. Yes. Very impressive voice. No doubt.

Glenn: Certainly when it comes to–

Rob: Doesn’t he have like a larger vocal range.

Charlie: Maybe top ten. Sure, sure. Sure. If that’s what you, if that’s the criteria. Yeah.

Glenn: Cert–*Laughter*. Yeah. Certainly when it comes to like, rock and roll. Yeah. Like, like, metal.

Rob: Who else is up there? This is fun–I think this is fun for the podcast.

Charlie: James Brown.

Rob: James Brown. Soul. Soul.

Glenn: Or are we just talking about singers period? Or are we talking about rock and roll?

Rob: That’s soul and R&B.  Which I guess you could fit into the same category. 

Charlie: That shit is rock and roll, man. 

Rob: Okay. 

Glenn: All right.

Rob: Okay, okay.

Glenn: Yeah. No. He was, he was incredible. I mean I gotta–

Rob: Like Are–like Aretha Franklin, you wouldn’t call that–

Charlie: Are we talkin’ about men and women? Or just the dudes?

Glenn: Oh. Okay. If we’re talkin’–

Rob: Oh, okay. All right.

Glenn: Yeah. Listen, what’s her name, what’s her name? Ann–

Charlie: Men and women, then I think Axl Rose gets bumped out. But if we wanna go just the dudes–

Rob: Okay, let’s go, let’s go men. 

Charlie: My favorite dude–

Glenn: My favorite rock vocalist though is um, uh, Ann, oh god what’s her name? From Heart. The vocalist from Heart. 

Rob: Okay.

Glenn: I think she is the most incredible rock vocalist of all time. Personally. I think her voice is unbelievable. Have you ever heard her do like, Zeppelin songs? 

Rob: No.

Glenn: It’s way better than Robert Plant. I’m sorry. She fuckin’ slays Zeppelin. 

Charlie: Now, like, are you adding into like the mix like, Mariah Carey? And like–

Rob: No. But that’s pop. 

Charlie: That’s pop. That’s not rock.

Rob: I’m thinkin’ just voices that, voices that rock. *Laughter*

Glenn: Voices that rock. Well, I got–-listen. I mean, I also gotta–

Charlie: Just rock. For the hardcore–well, are we just saying just rock and roll? So like–

Glenn: Ann Wilson.

Charlie: –post like, 90s it’s done?

Rob: I don’t know. I thought this would be fun but it–

Glenn: It is fun!

Charlie: It’s too much. It’s too big a category.

Rob: He’s naming people nobody’s fuckin’ ever heard of.

Glenn: Ann Wilson? Nobody’s ever heard of Ann Wilson from Heart?

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: No, no. I know. Of course I’ve heard Heart. It’s just–yeah.

Charlie: I–you could see it. You could read the comments now. 

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: You shouldn’t of said that.

Glenn: I–listen. Yeah. I mean, well, I gotta shoutout to my boy Mike Patton. Tomahawk is a Mike Patton project. Uh, he is widely considered–

*Charlie and Rob laughter*

Glenn: –no, listen. In, in rock circles, he is widely considered to be one of the, probably the top three greatest rock vocalists of all time. Easily.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: And by many, number one. Hands down. Hands down.

Rob: In rock circles? 

Glenn: Mm-hm.

Rob: All right.

Glenn: Ask people in the business. Like, like the general public, like a lot of people like don’t really appreciate or understand what it is that he’s doing. But if you’re in the business, you can, you can see what he’s doing. And be like, “Holy shit.”

Rob: I guess what I was–what I was lookin’ for was like, a robust conversation that everybody could jump into. That, where you’re like, “Well who’s the best basketball player of all time?” And it would be like, “LeBron James. Michael Jordan. Larry Bird.” And you’re like “Sam Bowie is one of the most well respected–”

Glenn: Yeah. “Pistol” Pete Maravich.

Charlie: Yeah. Well, I mean–

Rob: Exactly. And I’m like, I can’t–I’m not gonna dispute it. But at the same time it stymies the conversation.

Charlie: That’s the thing with superlatives man. You know, it’s tough. 

Glenn: You think it’s–Yeah. But you know, that’s the thing–

Charlie: With sports, with sports–

Rob: You’re supposed–

Charlie: At least there’s a metric with sports.

Glenn: It’s subjective.

Charlie: It could be like, “Well, this person has the most championships, or points.” With music, how–

Glenn: It’s subjective. 

Charlie: It’s very subjective.

Glenn: ‘Cause like, I listen to Axl Rose and I find it kinda grating. You know what I mean? But I get it. I understand why you say that. And I understand why people like it. But I, I don’t see as big of as distinction between Guns N’ Roses–I’m gonna get fucking crucified for this. And I know this, but that’s okay. I don’t see as big of as distinction between Guns N’ Roses and like, Poison, as some people do. To me it’s kinda, well–no. That’s not true. No. They’re definitely better. They’re definitely much, much better. In my opinion. But, I don’t know. It’s still not my thing. It’s not my thing.

Charlie: Well, where I made the overlap is just in fashion, look, and feel. You know? I mean, were going the same–they’re shopping at the same place.

Rob: *Laughter*

Charlie: Okay?

Rob: They were for a long period of time, yeah.

Charlie: Yes. They’re getting their hair done by the same dude.

Glenn: *Laughter*

Charlie: And–

Rob: Sure.

Charlie: You know what I mean? And–

Rob: They’re, they’re all having sexual relations with the same women. 

Charlie: Yes, yes, yes.

Rob: Right? Across–around–

Glenn: What are we talking–I’m lost. What are we talking about?

Rob: Around the country.

Charlie: We’re talking about Brett Michaels and Axl Rose. 

Glenn: Sure.

Charlie: We’re talking about–

Rob: If you were a member of Motley Crue and a member of Poison, and a member of G and R, when you would travel around the world, you would run into the same group of–

Charlie: Yeah. 

Rob: –groupies

Charlie: Like, if you take those two dudes–

Glenn: Is that true? I don’t, I don’t know this to be true. 

Rob: *Exhales*

Glenn: I’m not saying it isn’t! I’m not disputing–

Rob: I know but are you following what I’m–

Glenn: No.

Rob: –what I’m saying?

Glenn: No! I’m not.

Charlie: You’re saying 19–eh, late 1980’s Pam Anderson was, was hangin’ around both concerts. Potentially.

Rob: You’re going on a world tour. And–

Charlie: But we don’t know.

Rob: –and you’re in a, you’re in a glam band. A glam rock band. And you’re going to Detroit. And you’re going to Saskatchewan. And you’re going to Germany. And the people that are buying the tickets to go to those, to go to those–

Glenn: Yeah. Are the same people.

Rob: –concerts. And they’re–the ones that are trying to get backstage–

Glenn: Are the same ones.

Rob: –are the same. Are the same. That’s all.

Glenn: Okay. I got you. You’re saying, you’re saying the people that are going to the Poison are the same people that are going to the Motley Crue concerts. 

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: The same people going to the G and R. 

Rob: I’m saying–

Glenn: I got you.

Rob: –that there was–syphilis was introduced into the group. And it was passed by the same people.

Glenn: People. Around and around and around.

Rob: It started with one. There was a patient zero.

Glenn: Sure. 

Charlie: Mm-hm.

Rob: And it could’ve been a member of the Crue. 

Glenn: Syphilis Suzie, let’s call her.

Rob: You went, you went to the groupie. I went to one of the band members. Yes.

Glenn: Oh. One of the band members. Yeah, yeah.

Rob: Yeah. 

Glenn: Okay. Well–

Rob: This has been great.

*Laughter*

Rob: You know what–

Charlie: We’ll have to cut this entire episode.

Rob: You know like on, on–

Charlie: We’re good. 

Rob: –on sports talk radio like, that’s all they do. They have a whole business that’s revolved around just talking about like, “Who’s the best ever?”

Glenn: Well, I’m–

Charlie: Rob, give us your top five. 

Rob: I don’t want to anymore. 

Charlie: Yeah. 

Rob: *Laughter*

Glenn: That’s the thing. I think this is like–

Charlie: Top five glam rock voices? 

Glenn: Why can’t we–

Charlie: We can do that.

Glenn: Steven Tyler.

Rob: Okay.

Glenn: But why can’t we bring up–

Rob: Steve Tyler’s got one of the great, one of the great voice–

Charlie: He’s got a great voice.

Rob: Of course you can. It’s just that nobody knows, I mean–

Charlie: Yes.

Rob: I’m not gonna–

Glenn: Nobody knows the song Barracuda? What the fuck you talking about? We use a Heart song alone on the show, all the time.

Rob: Yeah. 

Glenn: I think she’s one of the greatest if–I think she’s one of the greatest rock vocalists of all time. I think she blows all of those people that you named, out of the fuckin’ water. She’s incredible.

Rob: Okay.

Glenn: And, and look at the comments. Look at the comments. ‘Cause the only people that are gonna comment are people that actually understand and know music. And listen to a lot of music. And will look at this and go, “Finally. Somebody’s recognizing Ann Wilson.” Those are the comments. It’s not gonna be like–

Rob: Those, those–

Glenn: “Ann Wilson? Ann Wilson’s not as good as fuckin’ Axl Rose.” None, none of the comments will say that Axl Rose is better than Ann Wilson. In terms of vocals.

Charlie: I’m gonna go out, right now, and say I will not read the comments on this. Because they will be exhausting.

Glenn: Yeah. 

Charlie: Exhausting.

Rob: I know but that’s part–yes. But, going–

Glenn: But see, I do find this to be an interesting conversation.

Rob: The same person that would say “Ann Wilson”, would say Tim Duncan is greatest basketball player of all time. And you’d go, “‘Cause he’s consistent. He–” But it’s apart of the fun fight.

Glenn: It’s in his name. I mean, it’s in his name.

*Charlie and Rob laughter*

Glenn: Um, I would say–terrible joke. Um, I, but I would say–

Charlie: That’s why he was good.

Glenn: -amongst, amongst like, sports nerds? That is the conversation. If you’re gonna have a conversation with somebody who’s a music nerd, like me. You’re gonna get, you’re gonna get cra–you’re not gonna get like, “Oh you know who’s the greatest fuckin’ vocalist of all time? Is like the, the lead singer of–” I can’t think of like a popular band.

Charlie: But, but at the–then sometimes you gotta be like, but where does–

Glenn: You know? Coldplay. Like Chris Martin.

Charlie: –popularity play into the metric. Right? Like, because that’s a–that’s a part of it. Right. Let’s say you’re naming the greatest band of all time. Right. And someone say The Beatles. Right? And you’re like, “No way dude. Mr. Bungle’s way better than The Beatles.” Right? Well–

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: You got–at some point you have to take success–

Glenn: They are by the way. But go ahead.

Charlie: –uh. No. At some point you have to success into the equation. Right? It’s got to play in at–I don’t know. It’s a good–I don’t know.

Glenn: No, it’s all subjective, right? It’s all subjective.

Charlie: It’s all subjective. 

Glenn: Yeah. That’s the thing. That’s the–and again, like you were saying with sports. Like, you can, you can quantify like the number of points. The number of assists. 

Charlie: There’s some guy maybe. Some legend of like, street basketball. Right? Who like–

Rob: Exactly.

Charlie: –could make a–

Rob: That’s the point I’m making.

Charlie: –make a hoop from everywhere. But–

Glenn: But you can’t equate that guy–

Charlie: –you can’t say they’re better than Michael, Micahel Jordan. 

Glenn: But, yeah. But you can’t equate that guy to Ann Wilson of Heart. You know what I mean? Like, that band was huge. That band was huge. They weren’t as big as Guns N’ Roses, but they were huge. Like, in other words. She’s not like some–

Rob: I hear ya. Maybe it’s almost about when, when it was introduced. Meaning like, it would be–I just keep bringing it back to sports ‘cause this is what people do in sports talk radio. And I–people find it fascinating. You’re talking about like, Michael Jordan. You’re talking about LeBron James. You’re talking about Larry Bird. You’re talking about Wilt Chamberlain. 

Glenn: Yes.

Rob: Or Bill Rusell.

Glenn: If you are close minded–

Rob: You’re talking about like–well, no. I mean in the beginning of the conversation.

Glenn: Yes. If you’re close minded.

Rob: And then someone comes in and says, “Yes. But you’re not thinking about Tim Duncan. The most consistent player of all time.” 

Glenn: Right.

Rob: And then you get into that part of the conversation. But there’s no way in if you sty–from my perspective. If you stymie it from the very beginning by being like, “You’re all–you’re thinking about it all wrong.” But we haven’t even gotten to that point yet. 

Glenn: A lot of tension in the room today.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: But you stymied me. 

Charlie: You’re too free.

Glenn: ‘Cause I, I threw–

Charlie: You guys are too free this morning. 

Glenn: –I threw some–

Rob: I–by–maybe that’s part of the problem. 

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: I haven’t felt free.

Charlie: You haven’t felt free enough. 

Glenn: *Laughter*

Charlie: You’re freed out.

Rob: I haven’t felt free.

Glenn: No, no, no. You’re not free enough to take in the inform–

Charlie: These are the hard questions.

Rob: *Laughter*

Charlie: These are the things that the listener at home wants to know. You know, is Mr. Bungle better than The Beatles? You know–

Glenn: They’re so different. I mean it’s–

Rob: They’re so different.

Charlie: They’re so different! 

Rob: Of course.

Charlie: You can’t compare. You know.

Glenn: You can’t. 

Rob: Of course–In the same–yes. In the same, for the same reason you could say Steph Curry might not be the greatest basketball player of all time. But he’s the greatest three point shooter of all time. 

Glenn: Mm. No doubt.

Rob: And then somebody else might say, “No. It’s Reggie Miller.”

Charlie: Not at all.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: But that, there’s a whole–

Charlie: Well–

Rob: –multi billion dollar business based on people just fighting about this kinda stuff. And maybe we’re not, maybe we’re just not that. 

Glenn: But no. It’s interesting–

Charlie: No. We’re trying–

Glenn: –it is interesting–

Charlie: –we’re trying. We’re having the fight now.

Glenn: –but it is interesting to me–we were talking about rock vocalists and I threw in a name, I threw somebody’s hat in the ring, and then you accused me of stymieing the conversation. 

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Like, I went with what you were saying. Like, I–you know what I mean? 

Charlie: He’s just saying–

Glenn: I mean, I understand what you were–

Rob: But do you understand the point I’m making? 

Glenn: –I understand the point you’re making. I just disagree.

Charlie: It’s very provactive to throw a name in, who’s not a household name. 

Rob: In the–as the second person. 

Glenn: But–because she is a household name, is what I’m saying. She is a household name. 

Rob: If you–

Glenn: I couldn’t even think of her name. 

Charlie: In your house. Yeah, yeah.

Rob: You couldn’t think of her name. 

Glenn: Yeah. But that was just–

Rob: I’ve heard of the name Heart. But if you asked–

Glenn: –I just blanked.

Rob: –the entire audience who is the lead singer of Heart. Again, no offense. She’s got an incredible voice.

Glenn: No. Way less people would know who Ann Wilson is then, then, then uh, Axl Rose. 

Rob: Yes. 

Glenn: Yes. Oh, so satisfied with yourself. You make me sick today.

Rob: *Laughter* I’m not–

*Ad break* 

Glenn: Cha-ching, cha-ching. Money talk.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: You know what I’m saying guys? 

Charlie: That’s a cash register. That’s universal, that sound. 

Glenn: Cha-ching.

Charlie: That means money. 

Rob: Yup. That’s the sound of a brand new sale on Shopify. Aka, the moment someone’s business dream just became a reality. 

Glenn: And not only someone’s business dream, our business dream. 

Charlie: That’s right. Shopify is the uh, commerce platform. It’s revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Including ours. And whether you’re selling boiled denims, fight milk, it simplifies selling online and in, in, in person. So you can focus successfully on growing your business.

Glenn: It covers every single sales channel. You know. From an in person POS system. To an all in one, E-Commerce platform. It even lets you sell across social media market places. Like uh, like Tiktok, Facebook, Instagram. You know. All the hits. All the big ones. All the, all the good ones.

Rob: Plus it’s packed with industry leading tools. Ready to ignite your growth. Shopify gives you complete control over your business and brand, without having to learn any new skills in design or code.

Charlie: And thanks to 24/7 help and an extensive business course library, Shopify is ready to support you every step of the way. 

Rob: We here at the Always Sunny podcast use Shopify.

Charlie: We do.

Rob: For all of our podcast and tour merch. It’s so easy, we could get silly with marketing and serious with selling. 

Charlie: Yeah. And now it’s your turn to get serious about selling and try Shopify today. 

Rob: Sign up for a one dollar per month trial period at Shopify.com/sunny. All lowercase.

Glenn: Go to shopify.com/sunny to take your business to the next level today. 

Charlie: Shopify.com/sunny.

*Sunny Music*

Rob: This is now the second episode where Meg is not here. 

Charlie: Uh-huh.

Glenn: I for one have no idea who’s supposed to steer the chat when we’re discussing the episode. I, I–

Charlie: Mm-hm, mm-hm.

Glenn: –I feel rudderless.

Charlie: Yeah. I’m having trouble keeping on track too. And um, at what point do we go ahead and just replace her? 

Rob: No.

Charlie: You know?

Rob: No, no. There is no replacing Meg. First off, where would we even find someone to fill her shoes. It’s impossible. 

Charlie: Didn’t we have luck on Ziprecruiter when we were looking to replace that camera operator? 

Glenn: Yeah, yes.

Charlie: Ziprecruiter was good for that.

Glenn: We used Ziprecruiter for that. That’s true. Ziprecruiter is a, it’s a hiring platform. That uses the most cutting edge matching technology to help you quickly sift through candidates and invite the most qualified ones to apply. You know. I mean it’s, look. It’s certainly worked for the, for the camera job. But again, that was for a, a role with a wide, a wide field of applicants. You know. All right. You know what? I’m with Rob actually. Uh, there’s no way we can find another Meg. Even, even with how top notch Ziprecruiter is.

Charlie: There, there is no replacing Meg. That, that, that’s fine. I’m just super high on Ziprecruiter, you know what I mean?

Glenn: They’re great.

Charlie: ‘Cause it always is giving us such good candidates for all the, all the positions that we’re lookin’ to fill. You know. So, if you’re listening at home and you’re thinking, “Okay. I too am in need of a great candidate to hire.”, we’ve got some advice for you here. We really do.

Rob: Stop waiting and start using Ziprecruiter. No matter what your business is, Ziprecuirter can help you find quality candidates for all your roles fast. And right now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/sunny. 

Glenn: Yeah. Here’s an interesting fact actually, you guys like facts? 

Rob: I love facts. 

Charlie: Let’s go. 

Glenn: Okay. Well did you know that on average it can take up to 11 weeks, to hire a, a person for a position? 11 weeks? I mean, that’s too long. 

Rob: 4 out of 5 employers who post on Ziprecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. How insane is that?

Glenn: So, speed up your hiring process with Ziprecruiter, all right? See why 3.8 million businesses have come to Ziprecruiter for their hiring needs. Yep. Just go to this exclusive web address to try Ziprecruiter for free. Ziprecuiter.com/sunny. 

Charlie: Again, that’s Ziprecuiter.com/s-u-n-n-y. Ziprecuirter, the smartest way to hire.

*Ad break over* 

Rob: Greatest band of all time?

Glenn: Oof.

Charlie: Oh my god. 

Rob: Glenn.

Glenn: No.

Charlie: Heart. It’s been established.

Rob: It has been established that Glenn believes that Heart

Glenn: I don’t think that Heart is any where near–

Rob: And the lead singer, Mary Heart? Who is the–

Glenn: Ann Wilson. 

Rob: Ann Wilson.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: And rice.

Glenn: No. Heart is not one of my favorite bands. I do like a lot of their stuff. But, it’s not–nowhere near, not even in my top 50. 

Rob: *Singing gibberish* Is that Heart? *Singing* Ooo, baby, ooo, ooo.

Glenn: Isn’t that Fleetwood Mac? 

Rob: Fleetwood Mac. 

Glenn: Fleetwood Mac.

Rob: *Laughter* Fleetwood Mac. 

Glenn: I, I, I don’t know. 

Charlie: Now the answer is Hanson, and here’s why. 

Rob: Okay.

Glenn: *Laughter* They make great soda too.

Charlie: You have to take age into account.

Glenn: Uh, anyways. Okay, so Kitten Mittens. Uh–*Laughter* 

Charlie: That’s it. I mean, you know.

Glenn: How the fuck did we start talking 

Rob: This episode is dedicated to David Zdu–Zdunich.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Who we called Z. 

Rob: Erinie the bar fly. Do you have any memories of working with him? 

Charlie: Now, now when he popped up in the video, I started uh. ‘cause you don’t really see him much in the episode until the, the video that you play at the end. For—at the convention. And I, I was like, “Wait. Did we shoot this earlier?” ‘Cause in my memory he had, he passed away season 3. 

Glenn: Mm-mm.

Charlie: But I guess–

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah. So it kinda threw me for a loop that we cut to him at the end of the episode.

Glenn: I think we shot the whole season wth him, and then, and the passed away. Right?

Rob: Yeah. After–

Glenn: And then we–

Rob: After the season was shot. 

Charlie: Yeah. 

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: It wasn’t mid season.

Glenn: And didn’t we, well we called him Z. That was his nickname, Z. 

Rob: Oh. In real life.

Glenn: Yeah. 

Rob: Oh, oh, yes. Yes. 

Glenn: ‘Cause of his last name. 

Rob: ‘Cause we have a character named–

Glenn: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: Yeah. 

Charlie: Yes.

Glenn: But we called him Z. Um, uh, no. I just remember him being overall just a pretty, pretty lovely–

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: –lovely dude. And a total, total trip. And, and, and I kinda regret not hearing more stories from him. ‘Cause he seemed like a–

Rob: Well, he was abducted by aliens. 

Glenn: Sure. *Laughter* 

Rob: He was. Well, according to him. 

Glenn: Yeah. All right.

Charlie: Wait. Okay.

Glenn: Tell–so he told you this story.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: All right. Tell the story. 

Rob: He was abducted–well.

Charlie: Was he probbed?

Rob: Uh, we didn’t get into the specifics of it. But he was–

Glenn: Well that’s a shame.

Rob: –he was taken. He was out and in the dessert, and um, and he–

Glenn: What, Palm Dessert? He was out there–

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Probably? 

Charlie: I don’t think even the aliens would want to probe him. Probe him. 

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: You know. Like, I love the guy. But he’s–

Glenn: You don’t know him. 

Charlie: –he’s not the kind you probe. You know?

Glenn: Well, aliens now–now aliens. They, they don’t see things the way see them. Right? They might see him and be like that’s a–

Charlie: “That’s about as hot–as hot as it gets.”

*Laughter*

Glenn: “As hot as it gets right there.”

Charlie: “I gotta probe this guy, bad. I probed him for you, man.” 

*Laughter*

Charlie: “I was probbin’ him for you.”

Glenn: “I knew you would want to see what’s in there.”

Charlie: “Yeah, yeah. I didn’t do it for me. I probbed him for you.” Um, okay–

Rob: No. He was tellin’--he told, he told me the story. And it was one of things where if you don’t know if somebody is making a joke.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: You know. 

Charlie: How’d they snatch him?

Rob: He was out in the dessert. All he remembers is seeing a b–seeing a lot of lights. And then, he was there, man. He was there. He was–and I was like, “Where?” And he was like, “I was with ‘em. I was with ‘em.” 

Glenn: On the ship?

Rob: Yeah. “I was with them–” Well, he, he, he didn’t say it was a ship. He just said he was in another sp–he was in another place.

Glenn: Okay. So let me tell you what happened. He did as many of us do. He went out into the desser, and he had some peyote. Or he had some mushrooms. Or uh, you know, acid. And uh, and then was abducted by aliens. As many of us have been when we’re high on acid.

Charlie: Or, motherfucker was abducted by aliens. And that’s why he is the way that he is. You know.

Glenn: Right. 

Charlie: ‘Cause that scrambled with his–he got a little scrambled up in there. Up in the ship. And you know, they, they brought him back. They sent him back. But when they, you know–

Glenn: He was never the same?

Charlie: Yeah. Like it just did–the parts didn’t add back up the right way.

Glenn: Again. That is something that is also a result of uh, high amounts of LSD as well.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s true.

Glenn: You know, you come back you’re never the same.

Charlie: No, you’re not.

Glenn: Yeah. Yeag.

Charlie: You’re not.

Rob: He said it was over–

Glenn: God bless him.

Rob: –overall a positive experience. He didn’t remember a lot of it. But he was there. And uh, he said it was–and now he’s back. 

Glenn: Do you guys know anybody personally who claims to have been abducted by aliens? And, and can speak–

Charlie: Other than him? You know, like–

Rob: Other than–

Glenn: Yeah. Other than Z.

Rob: Other than Ernie? 

Charlie: No. I don’t. But I mean, I’m not ruling it out. Seems absurd to totally rule it out. 

Glenn: Oh, it’s totally absurd. I’m–

Charlie: Right?

Glenn: –I’m agnostic when it comes to aliens. 

Charlie: Highly possible. 

Rob: I’m gonna rule it out. Just based on lo–just based on logic as we understand it now. But–

Glenn: But we don’t understand shit. That’s the thing, right?

Charlie: We don’t even know that–

Glenn: I mean the advanced–

Charlie: –vegetables are killing us dude.

Glenn: –the advanced–yeah, you didn’t even know vegetables were killing you.

Charlie: We’re eating vegetables like a bunch of fucking–

Glenn: You didn’t even know that.

Charlie: –animals.

Rob: I’m into it. I’m into the idea of it. I, I love it. 

Glenn: Buddy, there are some plants out there that if they’re not aliens then I don’t know what is. 

Charlie: So you’re thinking–

Rob: At what point did you guys make the transition from, or maybe you haven’t, I don’t know, but–to, to being afraid of ghosts, to not wanting to be confronted by a ghost, to, to really desperately–

Glenn: Oh, wanting to see one.

Rob: –hoping you see one. Yeah. 

Glenn: Oh I have no–

Rob: Like, there are still times I, at 46 where I lay in bed and I hear a noise in the house. And I know it’s not some intruder. And I’m hoping to god I go down there and there’s–

Glenn: Please, no thanks. There’s a spirit–

Charlie: What do you thinks more probable, the uh–

Glenn: You want a spirit to be rumuging around in your cabinets? 

Charlie: –the ghost? Or the alien? I think the, I say alien. Aliens–

Glenn: Ooo. That’s a good question.

Charlie: –aliens for sure.

Glenn: You know what I’m realizing? Can I just stop down for one second? You know what I’m realizing? We, we need Meg here. 

*Laughter*

Glenn: We need Meg here so bad. Um–

Charlie: I mean, I don’t know how much there is to even really say about this episode. That’s it. You know. We did, we sold a bunch of stuff. It was funny.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: You know.

Glenn: It’s weird. Like, I like to have–

Charlie: We didn’t do anything with the camera. We didn’t have a guest start that we haven’t discussed. Like–

Glenn: Uh, there was, there was one joke in the episode, that I would also like to bring up. And I remember thinking was really, really funny when we were shooting it. Was the uh, you spying, spying on the, on the uh, trying to spy on the lawyer. But catching a women–

Charlie: Eating a sleeve of chips ahoy? 

Glenn: –eating an entire sleeve–*laughter*.

Dee: See any sign of that lawyer? Or his secretary?

Charlie: No. And I don’t know why you think we’re gonna catch him having an affair. I mean, the guys wife is really hot. 

Dee: No she’s not. And also, why does he turn his picture away from him? So he doesn’t have to look at her face. Why are we in this shady motel? Where we saw him go in. I’m tellin’ you he’s, he’s banin’ that secretary. 

Charlie: I don’t know. It just doesn’t add up. She’s an attractive lady. You don’t cheat on–

Dee: She’s not attractive.

Charlie: Oh my god! 

Dee: What?

Charlie: The woman in the room right next to him, she just ate an entire sleeve of chips ahoy. 

Dee: Charlie, could you focus on the lawyer’s room please? We’re not here to blackmail a lady for eating too many cookies. 

Rob: And then she asks is she, is she a, a big woman? And you said, “Oh. She’s–she’s huge.”

Glenn: “Oh yeah. She’s huge.”

Charlie: Yeah. 

Rob: Which I found funny, I don’t know. 

Charlie: She’s eating entire sleeves of chips ahoy, it’s gonna catch up to you.

Glenn: Let’s be done with this.

Rob: Okay. *Laughter*

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: This is out of control.

Charlie: Yeah. This is out of control. This was–

Rob: Where’s Meg? Where is Meg? 

Glenn: I don’t know.

Charlie: She is with Humphrey somewhere. Doing a thing.

Rob: Are they on vacation?

Charlie: They’re doing a thing. I don’t know what they’re doing. She’s–she told me though. She told me the words. 

*Laughter*

Glenn: She told you exactly where she was goin’?

Charlie: And I got what I needed. Her and Humphrey.

Glenn: And she–

Mara: It’s her anniversary and her birthday.

Charlie: Okay.

Glenn: Oh, that’s a pretty big deal.

Rob: When’s her birthday? 

Mara: Tomorrow. 

Rob and Charlie: Ohhh.

Glenn: You guys didn’t know that?

Charlie: Well this will event–this, this will air much after her birthday. 

Rob: Somebody sent me a review. I haven’t read a review of Sunny–

Glenn: A review?

Rob: –I didn’t know that they do reviews of Sunny.

Glenn: Do they?

Rob: But they, they some–Landgraf sent me something. And it just made me feel really good.

Glenn: What was it? Tell me. Let’s hear it.

Rob: I’ll read–

Charlie: We–

Glenn: This is good. This is good. 

Rob: This is just–Let’s end on something that feels–it just feels nice, you know?

Glenn: Yeah. Hey guys, season 16 is out. This is, this is exciting.

Charlie: You can see it.

Glenn: We worked very hard on this. We worked very hard on this. And I’m–

Charlie: We worked very hard.

Glenn: –excited for people to finally uh, see what we did. I hope they like it.

Rob: I read this right before I went to sleep. And I thought, you know, it’s always a, it’s a mixed bag. You don’t wanna look for too much external validation. But when you get it, you know. 

Glenn: It’s nice.

Rob: It’s nice. 

Charlie: It is nice.

Glenn: Sure. 

Rob: Quote, “t's truly remarkable that after 16 seasons, not only does It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia still remain hilarious and weird, but that it never feels like it's just going through the motions. Despite all this time. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia remains one of the funniest, strangest and most unpredictable shows, even after 18 years, and it's this type of longevity and brilliance that will make it go down as one of the great sitcoms of all time. 

Glenn: I'll take that anyday. Who wrote that? 

Charlie: My mom.

*Laughter*

Glenn: My mom. 

Charlie: My mommy. 

[End Credits]

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