How Philly Are Youse? | Always Sunny Podcast – The Always Sunny Podcast
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Episode #48

How Philly Are Youse?

Comin' in ice cold, baby.

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48. How Philly Are Youse?

On the pod, the guys take calls from local Philadelphians to determine who is the Philliest.

Glenn Howerton: This like when I come into this building and I hear like you playing the piano, it was evoking a certain feeling in me and I was like, "What's that feeling that I'm feeling?" And it's-- It reminds me- it reminds me of like walking into like my old church youth group.

Megan Ganz: [laughs]

Glenn: Yeah, there's like always somebody playing the piano like you know there's like people all around like there's you know people talking and stuff and like somebody's off like playing some sort of thing on the piano and--

Meg: Those good memories.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, great memories, yeah. This thing of like it's really, uh, it's really disturbing how often I feel like kids are asked like what they wanna do when they grow up nowadays and they're like, "I wanna be famous."

Meg: Oh, yeah I know.

Glenn: You're like, "Oh."

Meg: For doing what? Doesn't matter.

Glenn: I just-- I really like-- I don't know. It really affects me.

Meg: The only thing sadder I've ever heard than that in that vein is that my husband Humphrey told me that, um, because he went to school with Prince William.

Glenn: Okay.

Meg: Um, yeah, and, uh, they were in the same class and when he was-- When they were like eight or nine they did this thing where they asked all the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up, and, um, William said he wanted to be a police officer and all the kids laughed because they were like, "You're not gonna be a police officer, you're gonna be the king." And I was like, that is so deeply tragic to me-

Glenn: Surely.

Meg: -that you have this kid that's like, "I wanna be a police officer," and they're like, "No, you’re stupid." Isn't that sad? It's like to think about that 'cause I think about that all the time like when that he went to school with Prince William and I'm like it's not like people that went to school with George Clooney where it's like he wasn't George Clooney when you went to school with him.

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: Like Prince William was the prince when he was eight. So everybody that knew him in school was like, "You're not normal, you're gonna be the king."

Glenn: Like going to school with Emmanuel Lewis, you're like, "Oh, man. Holy shit, Webster." [laughs]

Charlie Day: He's got to be king one day.

Glenn: I can't believe it. It's right there. We'd better get in his good graces now.

Charlie: Look how he eats his porridge.

Glenn: Yeah.


So much less sloppy than how we do.


Charlie: He's using a spoon.


Glenn: I'll just use my hands.

Charlie: I have a really funny, stupid question. What are their last names?

Meg: Whatever.


Charlie: I was just sitting here thinking like Prince William, Prince Harry, Queen Elizabeth, what the fuck are their last names.

Meg: Uh, that's a good question, “of Windsor”?


Charlie: Do you not know either?

Meg: I don't.

Rob McElhenney: It's like Reagan.

Charlie: Reagan. I hope it is.

Meg: No. Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor. It is Windsor.

Charlie: Windsor.

Meg: Yeah.

Charlie: Where are the Windsors?

Glenn: Okay, well, so-

Charlie: Well, I mean-

Glenn: - I mean, I don't wanna-- Well, no, okay.

Charlie: Let's say between 9:00 and 9:15 and he'll come in at 9:12.

Glenn: Well, on the text chain, the text chain was I could be-

Meg: Yeah.

Glenn: - there by 9:00 and then everybody gave a thumbs up.

Charlie: Oh, it was that we said hey we're gonna be out by like a certain time, so--

Glenn: And so you were doing us a service and saying like, "You know what? I'll-I'll make it work. I'll be there at 9:00."

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: We have 15 extra minutes.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Um, so I took it as that but then but-but to be fair to McElhenney, you know, Mara's email did say arrival between 9:00 and 9:15.

Meg: Yes, that's true. So.

Rob: Well, I hope you haven't started.

Glenn: Well, we started but it wasn't-

Charlie: Look, if we're here, we're doing bits.

Glenn: We were doing bits.

Meg: We were doing some bits.

Charlie: So, it started-- it sort of started naturally.

Rob: We're not late.

Charlie: Wait, is it 9:12?

Meg: It's 9:08.

Charlie: 9:08.

Glenn: Buddy-

Rob: I'm basing my entrance on Glenn because Glenn--

Glenn: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: Charlie's always here and sitting down. You roll in around 9:00 and sometimes you're early but you never sit down until it's like 9:14. I said that's fine. That's exactly what it should be.

Glenn: Oh-oh yeah. You mean like at 9:00? Yeah. I'm-I'm ready at-- I-I wanted to-- I think we should distinguish-- We should know like what our-- It's-it's almost like fuck arrival time. Like I-I'll arrive whenever the fuck I want.

Meg: Just start time.

Glenn: Tell me the start time and I'll figure out how early I need to get there.

Meg: Got it.


Glenn: That shirt is real tight. It's on the verge. I mean-

Rob: It's tight?

Glenn: Now here's the thing. You're in very good shape right now. And you look great.

Rob: Thanks, buddy.

Glenn: Okay? And I mean that in all seriousness. That shirt is very tight, however, and I don't know that it needs to be quite that tight.

Rob: Quite like fitted, you mean?

Charlie: Mm.

Glenn: Um, it's on- it's on the verge. I-I'd say you're pulling-- You're definitely pulling it off.

Charlie: Is it tight on Kaitlin too?


Meg: Nice. Nice.

Glenn: Hey, that's a good one.

Charlie: Hey you. Hey. Come on, come on.

Glenn: Nice little ribbing yeah?

Rob: I tuck it in.

Charlie: You can't tuck it in.

Glenn: I-I-I don't know. I feel like, almost tucked in almost looks-looks more-- It-it justifies the tightness of the shirt even more. Um-

Rob: Well, I don't think the shirt is gonna be as, um, horrifying the people is the ankles, remember?

Glenn: I do like that shirt.

Rob: They don't like the bare ankles.

Meg: [laughs] They do not like the ankles.

Charlie: No I-I-- It's fine. I wouldn't tuck it in. It's just um-

Rob: It's so hot and I felt like this is a summer look.

Charlie: You had to get your linens on?

Rob: I had to get-- This isn't linen.

Glenn: That's not linen. But I do have- I do have linen. I could have worn it.

Charlie: What is it? Towel?


Glenn: I mean that just looks like regular shirt material.

Rob: It's cotton, buddy.

Charlie: Is it cotton?

Rob: Yeah. It's cotton.

Glenn: Does that look like something special to you?

Rob: Yeah, it does. I'm seeing like a texture. Um, I iced my coffee today since it's so darn hot. It's about a thousand degrees.

Glenn: I got-- I got-- I got an iced coffee too.

Charlie: Every time I go to sip it, it's throwing me off. I keep forgetting that I iced it.

Glenn: Oh yeah.

Charlie: And then I'm like this coffee's gone cold.

Glenn: Do you think you're gonna be alright?

Rob: It's gone freezing cold.

Charlie: I'll-I'll be alright.

Meg: Are you guys coming in iced today then? Is that what's happening?

Rob: Coming in cold.

Charlie: We're coming in icy cold.

Glenn: Coming in ice-ice cold, baby. Ice cold.

Charlie: Yeah. Hey, uh, we were just doing a little, uh, bit about, um, the Royal Family and, um, uh, I was realizing I don't know their last names.

Glenn: We-we-we looked it up, so we know, but-

Charlie: We looked it up. Do you know off the top of your head?

Rob: Well it's-it's the- it's House of Windsor.

Charlie: Okay, so that's it. That's it.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: You didn't have to tell him the-the ultimate answer, which is that, that-that is actually their last name. Is that where you were headed with that?

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: But you knew that though? Not that you suspected that it was, but that you knew that it was.

Rob: I'll tell you this, prior to the last, like six months, I knew very little about the, um, about the Royal Family.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Uh, maybe last year 'cause then-- but then I started watching The Crown, then I got into it a little bit.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And then I-- Now I spend a lot of time over there.

Glenn: Mm. What are you doing over there?

Charlie: In the House of Windsor?

Rob: You know, I own a football team, um, over there in the UK.

Glenn: I didn't know they play football over there.

Rob: Yeah, they do. They play football.

Glenn: Oh my gosh. I don't think I've ever seen a British person in a- in a football helmet.

Rob: Yeah. No, no, no. We call it soccer here, uh, but everywhere else in the world, they call it-- they call it football.

Glenn: Ah, you're talking about the actual-

Charlie: The game that you kick a ball with your foot.

Rob: Where you kick with your foot.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And, uh, no, I'm a big fan of American football too. But, um, you know, I also have a documentary series. It's launched. It's a big hit, but you know, you don't- you don't support me in anything I do.

Glenn: I love documentaries.

Rob: I'm sure Charlie's seen it.

Glenn: I love documentaries.


Charlie: Walk me through again what it is.

Glenn: What channel is it on?

Rob: It's-it's-it's on the same channel that Sunny is on, um, FX, but it's also on Hulu. It's available on Hulu, uh, next day.

Glenn: Congratulations, man.

Rob: Thank you. It's, um, it's a very, very big hit for them, which feels good. Now again, you guys aren't really a part of the zeitgeist or-or the culture.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Um, and so you wouldn't- Yeah I don't know what's in your newsfeed. Your newsfeed is sort of food-related or- There's a lot of conspiracy.

Glenn: Oh, I-I don't have a news feed. I don't know what that means.

Charlie: I don't get fed news.

Glenn: I don't get fed news. I-I don't--Yeah. I don't wanna be fed news.

Charlie: So you got- you got a soccer documentary and it's going-- I mean a football documentary.

Rob: Yes. I will say-

Charlie: And you've learned all the last names of the Royal Family. And uh-

Rob: [laughs] Yeah, that's a byproduct of-of just spending a lot of time over there.

Charlie: Okay. Okay, and you're feeling overall good about it? It's like you're just like-

Rob: Which, my relationship to the Royal Family or?

Charlie: No, the whole thing. This has been a good venture in your life. It's been a positive.

Rob: It's been a-- It's been a great experience. People seem to be really enjoying the, um, the documentary series. Not you guys, but um, millions of people across the globe. And, um, it's been really fun.

Charlie: They're trying to get an inside look at, uh, two rich white guys who buy a football team.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And I'm-- I see this rich white guy all the time. I'm not interested.

Rob: I'm surrounded by rich white guys, why do I need it?

Glenn: I-I know your point of view on almost everything else. I don't know what I need to know what your point of view on football is. No, I'm kidding.

Charlie: I will tune in. I will tune in. By the way, when did you-- When did it to launch? Yesterday? Two days ago?

Rob: Uh, last week.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Last week it was um-

Glenn: I'm gonna watch it but I think-- is it appropriate to watch with Miles? I-I assume it is.

Meg: There's some language things, but other than that, yeah.

Glenn: I don't care. That's fine.

Meg: There's no like hardcore graphic sex.

Glenn: Oh, so you guys aren't-

Rob: No, the players aren't fucking each other. I'm sure they're-they're-they're definitely fucking off camera. But not each other.

Charlie: You and Ryan don't, uh-

Rob: No, but-

Charlie: -try to make it work?

Rob: I mean-

Glenn: How do you cover the dongs up in the locker room? Do you just use like the-

Rob: Oh, by the way, that-that does happen. The-- They-- The-the cameras go into the locker room-

Glenn: Sure.

Rob: -and the boys don't care. And if I looked like that, and if I had the dongs that these guys and, I wouldn't care.

Glenn: Oh. Big-big, strong legs and football butts.

Rob: Big, giant, young men.

Meg: Full of testosterone.

Glenn: Full of testosterone. Just balls, just filled with semen.


Ready to explode at any moment, you know what I mean? Just in every way. Wow.

Rob: It's been a- it's been a very fun experience and, um, and-and the show's, uh, it's-it's really catching on. There's a lot-lot millions more uh, Wrexham fans out there. So that's nice.

Glenn: Yeah, I will say I-I do think it's very clever on the- on the posters that you guys are Wrob W-R-O-B and Wryan W-R-Y-A-N. Yeah. That was very clever.

Rob: Yeah. Making my name even harder to spell.

Charlie: So the FX marketing team come up with that or?

Glenn: Yeah, who came up with that?

Rob: Yes. Yeah, that was the FX marketing team. They seem to be doing a pretty good job.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: They're good.

Rob: Yeah, so, you know, if you guys could-- You-you check it out.

Charlie: I'll check it out.

Glenn: No I am gonna watch- I'm gonna watch- I'm gonna watch it with Miles. I-I mean, uh, it's a perfect thing to watch with him 'cause he's obsessed with, uh, soccer.

Rob: Yeah. Yeah. It's a- it's a-- And you don't really have to even love soccer to love the documentary. You don't really even-

Charlie: I love a good doc.

Rob: Yeah, you don't really even get into soccer until the end of the second episode. So it's really more about the town and the people of the town and then you get invested.

Glenn: Okay. Okay.

Charlie: Yeah, we'll be sure to watch.

Rob: Thank you. Yeah. Welcome to the podcast, everybody. It's a giant commercial for a show that you don't care about.

Meg: Well, I am really excited about today because we, um, asked podcast listeners and creeps to send in videos to prove that they're the most Philly in honor of us going to Philly for our first live shows, uh, later this month. Um, and we got so many really funny submissions and one dick. So, that was pretty good though.

Glenn: What do you mean, we got a dick.

Meg: Like somebody sent a video of their dick.

Charlie: It was funny or was it disturbing?

Rob: Was it video or was it a still pic?

Meg: It was a video of them swinging it around. Those are pretty good numbers, right? Though like just one dick for all the video submissions we got. That's pretty good.

Rob: Pretty good. How many video submissions did we get in total?

Meg: Um, what? Like 150 maybe. Yeah.

Rob: 1 out of every 150? Okay. All right.

Meg: So we picked some favorites and I've got all of these people in a waiting room on Zoom to meet you guys right now.

Glenn: That's terrific.

Meg: So what we're gonna do is show you their submission video so you get to meet them, and then one by one we'll bring them on.

Rob: Great.

Meg: And you guys just get to talk to them. You can just talk to them about stuff, but they're all super fans of the podcast and you guys so really excited to show you some of these.

Meg: Great.

Glenn: I like that.

Meg: And if you want to, you can give people tickets to the live show. If it's people that are in Philly and wanna go. Some of them already have tickets, but-

Glenn: Okay.

Meg: -if you feel like offering anybody-

Rob: Okay.

Meg: -I'll just mark it down and we'll give them free tickets.

Glenn: Okay.

Rob: Are we starting with the dick?

Meg: Are we starting what?

Rob: With the dick?

Meg: Uh, no. I wasn't gonna show that to you guys unless you wanna see it.

Rob: Oh, I do.

Glenn: Absolutely.

Rob: You have to understand that like, for-for as abusive as it is for you to receive dicks or Mara, and you-- and you have experienced that over and over again, we don't get to experience that.

Meg: So you wanna do that first or do you wanna wait until the end?

Rob: Um, it could be good to start off with it. I mean, just to get the juices flowing.


Charlie: Let's go ahead and see what we're dealing with here.

Glenn: Let's start with the dick.

Charlie: He's-- He's obscured his face.

Rob: Why does he obscure his face?

Charlie: But he has-- He clearly has a tattoo.

Rob: He's got a tattoo. What does the tattoo say?

Glenn: Uh, oh. I'm starting to regret this already. Okay.

Meg: Go for it.

Charlie: Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm a little nervous.

Rob: Oh, you can hear it.

Glenn: Oh, you son of a bitch.

Charlie: All right.

Glenn: Oh, wait-wait.

Rob: Oh, oh, wow.

Charlie: That's the problem with sending a dick pic. It's just never what you hope it's gonna be.

Glenn: Yeah.


Well, you-you realize very quickly that you don't want to have anything to do with it. You know what I mean?

Meg: Yeah.

Rob: And I-- Also, I don't know if I wanna encourage this guy, you know?

Charlie: No.

Meg: Great. Okay, well, let's get started meeting these people, if you guys are down.

Charlie: Let's do it.

Meg: Um, I'd like to start with Kaitlin please. Um, and if you guys wanna hear these, just put your headphones on.

Glenn: Of course.

Meg: And you can leave them on because also when we Zoom with people, that's how you'll hear them.

Charlie: Okay.

Kaitlin: Hi, huns. My name's Kate. I'm from Northeast Philadelphia, born and raised. And I'm the Philliest because I actually refused to watch your show for ages. People would be like, "It's so funny." And I was like, "No, like I'm from Philly. Like, it's just gonna be stereotypical. Like, that's not funny. Like, whatever." And then, this guy I've been dating for like three years now, we first started hooking up. We had like a little, you know, Netflix and chill situation a couple of times. And it'd be so funny, I'd be like laughing even though we were banging, like, I'd been watching the show in the background.

Glenn: You'd be laughing even though you were banging?

Kaitlin: Uh, so, yeah. Huh. Love you guys. Go Birds. Big fan.

Rob: Okay. All right. I have- I have a few questions. That's an amazing accent.

Glenn: Amazing.

Charlie: Yeah, it is good.

Rob: And I-I wonder if she's turning it on a little bit.

Glenn: Amazing.

Rob: It feels a little bit modulated.

Glenn: Does it feel that way?

Rob: That she's putting it on a little bit.

Charlie: You mean like, juiced it up for the live thing?

Rob: Patrick, my brother. My brother Patrick here is, uh, in, uh, like a--

Glenn: Oh, you know her?


Glenn: You could hear that though, right?

Rob: Did you feel as that-- though that accent was a little juiced up?

Patrick: A little juiced up.

Rob: A little juiced.

Charlie: Right.

Rob: I think that that's her accent, but she turned it up for laughs.

Charlie: Right, turned it up for laughing.

Glenn: Well, we're going to find out.

Meg: Good news, we're about to meet her.

Rob: Exactly.

Meg: So--

Charlie: We'll find out.

Rob: Let's find out.

Glenn: We'll find out from Kaitlin. Hello, Kate.

Kaitlin: Hi, huns. How are you?


Rob: Where are you from?

Kaitlin: I'm from Northeast Philly. Mayfair, specifically.

Rob: Oh, Mayfair. I have lots of friends from-from Mayfair.

Kaitlin: Mayfair, yeah.

Charlie: Hey, hun, did you go to St. Matt's?

Rob: Uh.

Kaitlin: No, I went to St. Tim's University. [laughs]

Rob: Uh, okay. Of course. It's either Matt's or Tim's over there.

Charlie: Matt's or Tim's.

Glenn: So, Kaitlin, we were-- we were debating, uh, based on your, uh, the video that you sent in, whether you were turning on the accent just a little bit more. Were you just-- or did you dial it up a little bit for the video?

Kaitlin: Oh, of course.

Glenn: Yeah.

Kaitlin: Just a little bit.

Glenn: Okay. Just a little bit. All right.

Charlie: Tuned it up.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: It's pretty good.

Kaitlin: You gotta know your audience.

Rob: [laughs]

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: Now, you were introduced to the show by your boyfriend.

Kaitlin: Yeah. So, I like refused to watch it for years. I just like completely wrote it off, honestly. Like I didn't look-- I didn't look you guys up. You could have been from Philly, I had no idea. I was just like, "That's gonna be about Philly. It's gonna be corny. I'm not gonna watch it." But then he was like, "No, you have to watch it." And like, I wanted to hook up with him, so I would watch it.


Like I- like I would actually hear it and it would be funny. I'd be like, "Wait a second, that joke was good." [laughs]

Rob: Well, now I'm hearing that the-the accent was not turned up that much.

Glenn: Not that much.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: This is—it’s pretty heavy.

Glenn: I'm also finding out that our show is sometimes used as a tool of sexual manipulation.

Charlie: It's an aphrodisiac. Yeah.

Kaitlin: No, a thousand percent.

Glenn: Okay. All right.

Rob: What's that necklace you have on? Like, is that-- It's-it's--

Kaitlin: This one?

Rob: Yeah.

Kaitlin: It's a Cornelian crystal and then my grandmother's old ring.

Glenn: Okay.

Kaitlin: Philadelphia people love heirlooms. [laughs]

Rob: Yes.

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: Gotta have your heirlooms.

Kaitlin: I feel like everybody's always got like their grandma's ring or something.


I've definitely worn it.

Rob: Are you coming to the live show? Are you coming to the podcast?

Kaitlin: I wish. No, I didn't get tickets. I didn't get tickets, but I should have. We should've gone.

Glenn: Yeah, you should have.

Rob: Well--

Glenn: But we can-- might be able to remedy that.

Rob: We might, we might be able to offer tickets.

Charlie: Probably figure that out.

Kaitlin: [laughs]

Rob: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it?

Kaitlin: 9.

Glenn: Yes.

Kaitlin: 69.

Rob: You got it.

Charlie: Oh.

Kaitlin: [laughs]

Rob: It wasn't.

Kaitlin: I knew it.

Rob: It wasn't, but it doesn't matter.

Charlie: It wasn't.

Rob: It wasn't, but it doesn't matter.

Charlie: You got the tickets anyway.

Rob: You got it. You won the tickets.

Meg: Now, if you--

Kaitlin: Perfect.

Meg: If you bring your boyfriend, can you assure us that you guys aren't gonna bang during the show?

Kaitlin: Oh, uh, I can't promise, but if we do it, I'll be good.

Rob: [laughs]

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie: No promises.

Rob: Nice to meet you, Kaitlin. We'll see you at the live show.

Kaitlin: I'll see you guys there. Bye.

Rob: Bye!

Charlie: Bye bye.

Meg: Thanks so much, Kaitlin.

Glenn: Bye.

Meg: Bye. Okay, great. Next, we're gonna watch Robert's video.

Rob: Robert.

Charlie: Okay, Robert.

Robert: I'm gonna explain to you really quick why-why I am the most Philadelphia out of all Philadelphians. Now, like most Philadelphians, I keep a framed photograph of my uncle and my father, right?

Glenn: [laughs]

Robert: And I'm gonna explain to you, both these fellows were-were born and raised in Fairmount, uh, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He died of a drug overdose and my dad became a cop, and there's nothing more Philadelphia than that, my friends.

Charlie: Okay. It sounds all right.

Robert: So, please consider me.

Charlie: Okay, this person's amazing.

Glenn: [chuckles] I love this guy.

Rob: Wow.

Glenn: He's like-- he's like a young Matt Groening, right?

Meg: [laughs]

Rob: Yeah.

Meg: Right.

Charlie: That person is amazing.

Rob: What's his name? Robert?

Meg: Robert.

Rob: Okay.

Charlie: Robert.

Meg: So, bringing Robert in now.

Rob: Let's bring in Robert.

Meg: Hello.

Robert: Oh, hi.

Rob: Hello.

Charlie: Oh, Robert.

Glenn: What's up, man?

Charlie: All right. You on your commute?

Robert: Nothing.

Rob: I hope that's--

Robert: I'm just hanging out in a parking lot right now.

Charlie: Nice.

Glenn: Okay.

Rob: Now, what's the parking lot, and why are you there?

Robert: So I'm-I'm in Virginia right now 'cause I have-- my parents bought a cabin here, so they have-- they decided to bring me down, uh, right when I'm gonna do this podcast, and there's no internet at the cabin. So, I had to make the trek to this Holy Land. What is this? The-the Exxon Gas Station about 20 minutes away.


So, I've-I've come down here just to speak with you, guys. Uh, don't feel flattered or anything.


Um, but thank you for having me on. I'm extremely grateful.

Glenn: Yeah, man.

Charlie: Uh, it's very un-Philly of you to not be in Philly.

Rob: Yeah.

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: But-but we'll have to call that out, but it's, uh, you know, that's just bad luck, right? What are you driving there? Wh-wh-what are you in? Is that a-- uh, I can't--

Robert: This is, uh, mom's van.

Charlie: That's a van. Okay.

Robert: That's a van. It's mom's van, chilling out in here. It's hot as hell out.

Charlie: Yeah.

Robert: And having some fun. Um, so my dad- my dad's from Fairmount. My grandparents still live in Philadelphia about two blocks away from Eastern State Penitentiary.

Rob: Oh, I also, yeah, of course. That's very close to my high school.

Charlie: Nice, nice, nice.

Rob: So was your dad a cop in Bethlehem or in Philly?

Robert: He was a cop in Philly. He, um, worked for the housing authority in the 1990s.

Charlie: How old are you, Robert?

Robert: About 17 years old.

Charlie: 17, young man.

Robert: Yep.

Glenn: How long you been growing that hair out, buddy?

Meg: [chuckles]

Robert: Uh, probably for the, um, um, past two years over the-the horrible, dark times of the-

Charlie: Oh, sure-sure.

Rob: Mm.

Robert: -evil, um, virus.

Rob: Sorry. Can you tell, uh, us what month you were born in?

Robert: June the 19th.

Rob: Uh, this television show is older than you. -

Glenn: Wait, wait, what--?

Charlie: Oh, whoa.

Glenn: Wait, wait, wait, how old are you again? Sorry Mr-mr--

Megan: He said 17.

Charlie: What year were you born?

Glenn: You're--?

Robert: I am 17 years old.

Glenn: It's like to the year. I mean you were born in 2005?

Robert: I was born in 2005, June 19th, 2005.

Charlie: Yeah, wow.

Glenn: When did this sh-how first air?-

Rob: August of 2005.

Charlie: Yeah. I was--

Rob: Which means we had shot the television series.

Charlie: Yeah-yeah.

Glenn: Oh, we had shot it?

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: So it was birthed-

Charlie: So in a sense-

Rob: -before he was conceived.

Rob: -you are the show.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: It's basically his age.

Robert: Yeah [chuckles].

Charlie: Um, are you coming to the live show?

Robert: I would love to. Uh, unfortunately, I'm broke as hell. So you know, that's, um, the a barrier between me and the show here.

Charlie: Uh, yeah, it's a barrier between-

Rob: Got it

Charlie: -most things in life, uh-uh--

Rob: -got it. Let's just give him the- give the kid a ticket. Right?

Charlie: Give the kid a ticket.


We are supported by Athletic Greens.

Glenn: Did you guys eat breakfast this morning?

Rob: Who has time for breakfast?

Charlie: I drank the leftover milk from my son's cereal bowl on the way out the door.

Megan: [chuckles] Yeah.

Charlie: That's what you mean, right?

Glenn: Well, guys, I think it's high time you get on that AG1 train.

Charlie: I don't know, you know, I bought into that whole wheat grass movement in the '90s, and that didn't do much for my physique.

Glenn: Listen, no hard sell here. I'm just trying to keep my boys healthy-

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: -and sharp. I take it and I love it, okay? With just one single scoop of AG1, you're getting 75, that's right, 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, super foods, probiotics, and adaptogens to kick your day off right.

Charlie: Well, you do seem, uh, spritely. You know what I mean? You got a good pep in your step.

Glenn: And to make it easy, Athletic Greens is gonna give you a free one-year supply of immune supporting Vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.

Charlie: All you have to do is you gotta go to And that's all you have to do.

Rob: That is to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


Rob: When we started this podcast, we had to make sure we set ourselves up for success.

Glenn: Yeah, and you know, look, it's been a process, you know? I mean, we've started out just doing an audio- doing audio episodes, you know?

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: And then we started filming video in-in just random offices and shit, you know?

Charlie: Mm mm-hmm.

Glenn: And now we've got our very own studio.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Yep-yep. We've even got merch and, uh, and we're about to have our first live shows, which is I-I know we're all pretty excited about.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: It's a full-blown operation here that-that Meg has been running.

Rob: Meg has been running the show-

Charlie: Yeah. Meg is running the show.

Rob: -and-and it really is a big operation. We're very grateful to her. And thank you for all the creeps and listeners out there for sticking with us while Megan figures out what the show is-

Charlie: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Rob: -and tells us what it is.

Glenn: What we're supposed to be doing and saying.

Rob: Yes-yes.

Glenn: Now, Charlie, you mentioned merch a second ago and I'm-I'm-I'm sure you guys remember the bumps that we hit when we, uh, launched our merch store, Oopsie Daisy.

Charlie: Yeah. Oopsie.

Glenn: Uh, I've got a feeling that we could have avoided all that if only we had used Ship Station.

Charlie: You're right because Ship Station software is the number one choice for online sellers.

Rob: And do you know who uses Ship Station? Our pal, Nick Offerman, for his small business, Offerman Wood Shop.-

Charlie: Is that right?

Glenn: That guy is so cool-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -he's so cool that he emasculates me every time he shows up on screen-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: -I feel emasculated.

Charlie: Uh-huh, yeah. Talking about it makes me miss my mustache-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -that I was rocking for Megan.

Glenn: You may not have a mustache like his anymore, but, uh, this is another way you can be like him, all right. Go to Okay? That's today and sign up with promo code, Sunny, for a free 60-day trial.


Megan: Great. The next person we're gonna meet is Darius Johnson.

Speaker 1: What's the Philly-est thing about you? Go.

Darius: Youse guys is my safe word.

Speaker 1: Not Philly enough. Go.

Darius: All right. I once snuck cheese steaks and crumpets into the Franklin Institute and ate them in the heart.

Speaker 1: Not Philly enough. Go.

Darius: All right, fuck it. I had an orgy with Kevin Hart, Pink, QuestLove, Tina Fey and Bradley Cooper and, the Philly Phanatic on the Septa bus and that shit was crazy. Boyz II Men were on the side and they sung angelic backup vocals. It was amazing that we went through so much water, you as guys wouldn't believe it. And at the end, we climaxed. The sound was so beautiful, we made another crack in the Liberty Bell. Will Smith wasn't there, but he said it slapped. [laughter]

Charlie: All right, I don't know, all right.

Glenn: Oh, he put on a show.

Rob: He put on a show, yeah.

Charlie: He came prepared with some material, he put some effort into this-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: -all right? Then they caught him on the toilet.

Meg: All right, um, guys, please meet Darius. Darius, can you turn on your camera and meet the guys?

All hosts: Darius.

Glenn: Oh, he's got the merch.

Darius: How's it going?

Rob: Oh, he's got the merch.

Glenn: What's up man?

Charlie: Hey, there he is.

Glenn: Oh, there he is. Okay.

Rob: Darius, thank you for putting so much effort into your video.

Darius: Oh.

Glenn: Yeah, you actually- you actually wrote a bit.

Charlie: Yeah, you put a whole bit--

Glenn: You-you put a whole bit together. That was great.

Darius: Thank you. You know, I had to.

Charlie: Now do--

Glenn: Okay, what's the deal now? Are you- are you-- Is this, uh, a common thing for you? Writing bits, are you an actor, or are you a performer in some fashion?

Darius: I-I am, yes. I'm an actor.

Charlie: All right.

Glenn: Okay. That comes through-

Charlie: -um, all right.

Glenn: -that comes through.

Darius: [laughs]

Glenn: That you're a good-

Charlie: How's that going from Philly?

Glenn: -good looking guy.

Charlie: Is there- is there a lot of stuff happening in Philly, acting-wise? Is that really good?

Glenn: Yeah, are you- are you professionally acting and--?

Charlie: Or do you have to go into New York for stuff?

Glenn: Yeah.

Darius: I actually moved to sunny LA with you guys.

Charlie: Oh, all right-

Glenn: Did you?

Charlie: -you're over here?

Rob: Oh, you live in Los Angeles?

Darius: Right.

Rob: What-what p- what p-

Charlie: That's probably a very Philly thing.

Rob: -what part of Phi- what part of Philly are you from?

Darius: From like the Fairmount area. Kind of like, uh, Spring Garden, that area. But I've lived all over. I mean, I went to Westchester outside of Philly in the Bucks County area, all over.

Rob: Wow. Okay, yeah, so a lot of Fairmount showing up today.

Charlie: Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Rob: Yes. That's where my high school was-

Glenn: It's a common theme.

Rob: -you guys been to Fairmount?

Charlie: Okay.

Rob: Yeah. Spring Garden Street-

Glenn: St. Joe's.

Charlie: St. Joe's.

Rob: St Joe's, yes.

Glenn: Yep.

Meg: [chuckles]

Charlie: Um, where, uh-uh, in LA are you?

Darius: In Koreatown.

Charlie: All right, all right-

Rob: Koreatown, yeah-

Charlie: -very popular.

Rob: -that's the Philadelphia of Los Angeles.

Megan: [laughs]

Glenn: Is that right?

Rob: Yeah, I don't know, I don't know.


Darius: Pretty much.

Rob: Um, would you like to see if you-- Well, you're not- you're not gonna come to the live show 'cause you don't live in the city.

Charlie: You-you're all the way over here. Darius, you got anything you need to plug while you're here? What are you working on?

Glenn: Yeah, what are you working on, man?

Darius: Uh, what am I working on? Uh, my mental health.

Charlie: Okay.


Rob: Yeah, yeah, yeah, well--

Charlie: Okay, that's and that's--

Darius: There’s that.

Rob: -you know, that's-that's why we came to Hollywood. That's what we're all working on.

Charlie: Oh, yeah, uh-huh, hh-huh.

Glenn: [laughs]

Darius: Um, but, uh, yeah, I just, uh, been working on an animated series that's going to be released on Nickelodeon next month.

Glenn: Hey.

Charlie: There you go-

Megan: Oh.

Charlie: -he got a gig.

Darius: Yes, that's pretty much is all-all I can say, but, uh, it's coming out around, uh, like the Halloween time. It's gonna be a big deal 'cause it's something that was from childhood. That's kind of, you know, in the reboot, you know, era, so, yeah.

Glenn: Cool. Halloween sounds like a Scooby-Doo.

Charlie: All right, all right, yeah.

Megan: [laughs]

Glenn: -type thing, but, uh, I'm not- I'm not gonna, you know, force you to say 'cause-

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: We'll see, we'll see.

Glenn: -uh, that's cool, that sounds fun. And so, uh, do you have an agent? Are you a-- You've got probably an agent, manager, or you-- Yeah?

Darius: Yeah. Agent and manager.

Glenn: Nice, man.

Megan: Nice.

Charlie: All right, man.

Rob: Well, do your thing-

Darius: I'm doing great.

Rob: -make your shit, make your own shit.

Glenn: Make your own shit-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -and, uh, you know, in the meantime-

Darius: You said well.

Glenn: -hopefully we will, uh--

Charlie: We'd invite you to the, uh, live show, but you're not gonna go. So, uh, kick butt here in LA and, um--

Glenn: Well, how about this- how about this? We gotta get you to audition for the show. How about that? We'll-we'll-we'll-

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Meg: Oh, yeah, that's a great idea-

Glenn: -we'll see- we'll see if we--

Charlie: Oh, that's a cool thing-

Glenn: You know what I mean?

Charlie: -all right, can--

Meg: Okay.

Glenn: So when we- when we write this next, uh, season, um, you know, we'll-we'll-we'll send your info over to our casting director and we'll see if we can get you in for something because-

Charlie: Come in and read for something.

Glenn: -that would be cool.

Darius: I fucking love that.

Me: [laughs]

Rob: Awesome.

Glenn: That'd be amazing.

Charlie: All right.

Rob: All right, awesome.

Charlie: Darius.

Meg: It was really nice to meet you, Darius.

Rob: All right, Darius.

Glenn: [laughs] Nice to meet you, man.

Darius: All right.

Meg: All right.

Darius: Appreciate you guys so much.

Charlie: Bye-bye.

Darius: You guys take care.

Meg: Bye. Um, great. So next we have, um, Michelle.

Michelle: Hi, my name's Michelle. I'm the Philliest of the Philly because, um, well, I'm from Northeast Philly, born and raised. Also I am a diehard sports fan. Like, you know, we tend to be in Philly. Um, however, I cannot stand the Eagles, do not like the Eagles. I have a strong distaste for the Eagles. So, my Philly mentality is, when they went to the Superbowl, played the Patriots in the Superbowl, I left town. I took a trip to New York, went for two days by myself, um, 'cause I had to leave the city, just because I couldn't stand them that much. It's a Philly move, Philly mentality.

Glenn: [chuckles]

Rob: So many questions.

Charlie: Yeah, a lot of questions.

Glenn: A lot of questions, oh my.

Charlie: Very curious.

Meg: All right.

Charlie: Well, let's get into it.

Rob: Let's get into it, yeah.

Charlie: -let's get into it.

Glenn: Yeah.

Meg: Uh-huh.

Rob, Charlie, Glenn: Whoa, there she is.

Meg: Hi, Michelle?

Michelle: Hi. Can you see me?

All hosts: Yes, we can.

Charlie: Yeah, we see you.

Megan: Can you see us?

Michelle: Hey, hey.

Charlie: Well, we've got questions.

Rob: I think we got questions.

Glenn: Yeah, lots of questions over here.

Michelle: [laughs]

Meg: Okay.

Charlie: Well--

Meg: I've shown the guys your video-

Charlie: Uh-huh.

Megan: -that you sent in-

Michelle: Okay.

Meg: So they have questions for you.

Rob: Question number one. What is written on your knuckles?

Meg: [laughs]

Michelle: Um, so it's Ray. Um, it's my boyfriend's name. He passed away in 2020.

All hosts: Oh.

Glenn: I'm so sorry-

Rob: I'm sorry to hear that.

Glenn: Jeez, okay. Terrible.

Michelle: Thank you for asking.-

Glenn: -that's horrible.

Michelle: -it means a lot [chuckles].

Glenn: Oh God, I'm so sorry.

Rob: So-sorry to hear that. Um, so--

Michelle: He was a huge Eagles fan by the way, too.

Rob: Well, um, but now-

Glenn: Okay.

Meg: [laughs]

Rob: -okay, that now-now my questions.

Charlie: Okay, all right. So, yeah, it's all more confusing.

Glenn: [laughter] That's even more questions.

Rob: So, when-- So-so you say- so you claim to be an Eagle, a Philadelphia sports fan.

Michelle: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Is that right?

Michelle: Yes.

Rob: Um, well, there's only a few organizations in the city and you happen to hate one of them. Why?

Glenn: Did she say she was a Philadelphia sports fan-

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: -or did she say she was a big sports fan?

Rob: A Philly sports fan.

Glenn: Okay, Philly.

Michelle: Okay, so I am-- Yeah, like I am I'm a huge sports fan, um, huge Philly's fan and I'm a huge Union fan. I don't really follow hockey anymore. Um.

Glenn: Wait, can I guess? Can I guess?

Michelle: Yeah.

Glenn: What happened here? You had some sort of a run-in with an actual Eagle.

Meg: [laughs]

Michelle: You know what? It's so funny. Someone else said that too. One of my other friends mentioned that before too. He's like, "That's the only reason why you could like hate them that much," but no, it's not true. That didn't happen.

Glenn: No, because you did not- you did not encounter an eagle and get into some sort of a situation with this bird, where you felt uncomfortable or threatened?


Rob: Oh, you're talking about the bird the flying bird.

Charlie: Oh, an actual eagle.

Glenn: Yes.

Rob: Oh, not-not a player.

Charlie: Not a player on the team.

Glenn: No, no, no.

Michelle: No.

Glenn: An actual eagle who, you know, gave her the eagle eye.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: Got it.

Charlie: Okay. [laughs]

Rob: Okay. So-so it's not with an eagle, not with a- not with a player.

Glenn: Okay, all right.

Michelle: It's not.

Charlie: Do you hate the color green?

Michelle: No. I don't hate the color green.

Glenn: All right, she's gonna tell us. What is it then?

Rob: Do you hate champions?

Meg: [laughs]

Michelle: No, I'm a Patriots fan.

Rob: Oh.

Charlie: Oh, that's why.

Rob: Now we get it.

Charlie: Now how did that happen to you?

Michelle: You know, I don't know. So I understand why people like hate it and they roll their eyes and they like make fun of me, but-- I don't know, I was never an Eagles fan. I never connected with them for some reason, even though I'm a huge sports fan. I've been watching sports since I could like understand words and pictures.

Charlie: Now, so you hate the Eagles. Do you hate it's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

Glenn: Do you hate us?

Michelle: No, are you kidding me? It's my favorite show. Look, I have another-- I don't know if you can see, but I have another poster of you guys.

Glenn: Yeah, show us. Le-let's see what you got.

Charlie: 'Cause we're not actually a --

Glenn: Oh.

Rob: Oh.

Meg: Oh.

Charlie: Oh.

Rob: That's a good one.

Glenn: I love that one.


Charlie: That's the best one. Now we're not affiliated with the Eagles in any actual way. So--

Glenn: No, or actual eagles. The birds.

Charlie: No. Well, no.

Rob: I feel like we should ask her. Um, first of all, do you have tickets to the live podcast?

Michelle: I have tickets to the Monday show, yeah. The Sunday show sold out like instantly, so.

Rob: Well, we have tickets to the Sunday show, if you want to see both.

Meg: Would you want to come to both shows?

Michelle: Yes, absolutely. Can't wait.

Meg: We’ll get you those tickets.

Rob: All right, see you there. Go Birds, Go Birds, Go Birds. Hang up on her.

Meg: Go Birds.

Rob: Hang up on her, hang up on her. Go Birds, go Birds, go Birds.


Charlie: Bye.

Meg: Okay, um, next we are going to have Connor. Now, Connor is very special because Connor tried to send in his video seven times and then he eventually had to have his mother send it in for him.

Rob: Oh, God.

Meg: Um, which was very sweet.

Glenn: Wait, what?

Meg: Um, and so I imagine, we-we were having fun imagining a lot of screaming in their household of like, "Mom, it's not sending!"

Glenn: "Ma!"

Charlie: "Send my video in!" Now Connor, I believe likes the Eagles.

Meg: [laughs] Here is Connor.

Charlie: I believe he likes this football team.

Connor: Hello, I'm Connor. I'm 20 years old, about to be 21. Um, I live about an hour and 30 minutes outside of Philadelphia. Been an Eagles fan my whole life. As you can see here in my room, all Eagle stuff, got the Always Sunny in Philadelphia stuff. I've been an Always Sunny fan since I was about 11 years old. Um, the show is almost as old as me, which I think is crazy. I would love to meet-- You can tell I'm out of breath, can't even breathe. If you can gimme a chance to meet you guys.


Connor: Go Birds, go Birds.

Glenn: Aww.

Rob: Aww.

Charlie: Aww.

Glenn: What a sweetheart.

Rob: Let's get Connor on. [crosstalk]

Charlie: Sweet kid.

Meg: Now, Connor, welcome to the podcast. Can you turn on your video and meet the guys?

Charlie: Connor, we can't see you.

Rob: Is your video on?

Glenn: We cannot see you.

Charlie: We can't see you.

Rob: Call your mom in and have her come turn on your camera, buddy.

Charlie: Oh, wait. There it goes.

Connor: Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Charlie: He's got it.

Connor: We might be able to get it here.

Meg: He's coming in. There he is.

Meg: Hi, Connor.

Charlie: He's got it. Connor, are you in your basement?


Connor: I am now, yes.

Charlie: Yeah, I could tell that was a basement. I don't know how I could tell, but I could tell.

Rob: Connor. Question for you, do you have tickets to the, uh, to the podcast live show?

Connor: Yeah, it's the live at the Met? I think.

Rob: Yeah, you have tickets to that already?

Connor: No, I haven't bought them yet.

Meg: Okay, well, we might be able to hook that up.

Rob: Now, you realize, um, which-which-which night would you like to go, the Sunday night or the Monday night?

Connor: Whatever night works. Let me tell you.

Rob: Well, I see that you're a big Eagles fan. I have- I have some bad news. Unfortunately-

Connor: Oh, don't say bad news.

Rob: -it's going to be, the-the-the time of the Monday night, um, show is the exact time of the Eagle's home opener on Monday night.

Glenn: That was smart, that was smart of us.

Meg: [laughs]

Rob: Yeah.

Connor: That was smart.

Rob: Uh, I tried to get out of it. As soon as the NFL-- We actually booked it before the NFL schedule came out and then as soon as I found out, I-I emailed everybody and said, "Any way we can change it," and Meg was like, "No."

Meg: No. [crosstalk]

Charlie: You called the NFL. You're like, "I'm also a sports team owner. Can we, you know-

Rob: Anyway we can shift the, uh, the game, Jeff?

Charlie: -we see eye to eye here."

Glenn: I also own a football team.

Connor: That's crazy timing though. That was hilarious. -

Charlie: If you could-- We're at the live show, what would you want to see? I'm just curious as a super fan.

Connor: What I would want to see?

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Connor: I mean [chuckles] I mean people are there just to see you. So I think that's the number one thing, but I mean, I-- we just wanna hear you guys talk, like how you guys honestly do it. Like we don't want-- don't get the, um, fans involved too much. I hate that.


Connor: Talk like how-- act like it-- No, I'm serious-

Glenn: People like you.

Connor: -act like the fans aren't there.

Rob: Yeah. Connor, I hate to break it to you, but you-you're experiencing it right now.

Charlie: Yeah, you are it.

Rob: You are it. You are who you hate.

Charlie: You are what you hate right now. Uh, it's happening live.

Connor: Hey, I had to be what I hate.

Charlie: Well, let's get this guy to the show. Save your rainy day bucks.

Connor: Oh my God.

Meg: Get your tickets to the show.

Connor: That-that makes-- That'll make me almost pass out. If you guys saw the video to get on here, whoever picked it out, I wanna thank them because I almost passed out making the video.

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: Yeah, we saw that- we saw that.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, we could tell that. We could tell that.

Connor: Yeah. I almost died. I almost died doing--

Glenn: [laughs] Almost died.

Connor: Yeah. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.

Glenn: Yeah, if you get a chance, say hi to--

Connor: Thank you so much. Hopefully, I'll meet you guys again in the future.

Glenn: Yeah, you too, buddy.

Charlie: All right, buddy.

Connor: Aight. Wrexham for life.

Rob: Yeah. Thank you. Go Wrexham. Up in town. Up in town, Glenn.

Megan: [clears throat]

Glenn: Huh?

Rob: [laughs]

Megan: Great. Um, this is Natalie.

Natalie: What up? What makes me more Philly than the rest is the fact that I got my daily breakfast sandwich. I am right across the street from the bar. I'm on my way to work. And I work in the alley that you guys filmed the scene from The Gang Turns Black in. Are you doing a little musical number? Yeah, this is where I work. Um, I think I'm more affiliated than the rest of you. I ran down Broad Street when the Birds won. Go Birds. Uh, Peace, Love, Gritty. And I literally live around the corner from the patties in Old City.

Rob: Wow-

Glenn: It's pretty Philly.

Rob: That's pretty Philly.

Glenn: Now eating a sandwich on your way to work is not necessarily Philly-centric. That's a thing that I think a lot of people eat sandwiches. A lot of being on that in Philly. People eat sandwiches, elsewhere, breakfast sandwiches. They get breakfast sandwiches. They go to work. They do that a lot.

Natalie: Hello. Hi.

Charlie: Oh. You're at work now.

Rob: You know everybody's at work. I am glad that our listeners and creeps have jobs.

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: Yeah, and it's late over there, so you've had your sandwich already.

Rob: Yes.

Natalie: It's noon or 1:30 where I am.

Rob: Yeah, yeah.

Charlie: Okay.

Glenn: So you had your breakfast sandwich, and-and now you've also had your lunch sandwich. And, uh, what else did you pack in your lunch bag today? Did mommy get you an apple or--?


Charlie: Now what's going on in the alleyway where we did The Gang Turns Black? Uh, that's-- What-what kinda- what kinda offices we have in there?

Natalie: Um, so if you're looking down the a-alley from 13th Street, on the left is apartments and then on the right, the ground floor. I don't know what it was when you filmed it, but now it's a European wax center. And then above that is, uh, an architecture firm.

Glenn: A European wax center? As in a place to go get a wax or get your bits and bobs waxed?

Natalie: I don't know.

Rob: European wax? What does that mean?

Glenn: Yeah, I don't know. Okay.

Rob: Are you on a phone? Are you mobile right now?

Natalie: I'm-I'm on my computer.

Rob: Mm.

Glenn: What? Did you wanna see it?

Rob: Can you call us back on a phone? And I want you to go into that place and find out what the fuck it is.

Meg: [laughs]

Rob: What does European wax mean? What-- Are you- are you purchasing wax? Are you getting waxed?

Glenn: Yeah, to call it a center, I think-

Natalie: I think you're getting waxed.

Glenn: -I think you're getting waxed, but I-I-I think, um--

Rob: Do Europeans do it differently than-than-than in the US?

Glenn: They do everything different. Do you know what I mean? Just like a little off.

Megan: A major chain of hair removal salons.

Glenn: Okay.

Rob: Major.

Megan: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Major.

Charlie: I was gonna call 'em.

Rob: Now, are you coming to the live show that we are doing on this podcast?

Natalie: I was in Denmark when those tickets went on sale and I missed it.

Rob: Well, good news for you. We have extra tickets.

Glenn: Wait, wait, wait. Would she like to go? Would you like to go?

Rob: Yeah, would you like to go?

Natalie: I would love to go.

Rob: Great.


Now a word from our sponsor, Better Help.

Charlie: What's going on, Glenn? You seem a little blue.

Rob: Talk to me, goose.

Glenn: Yeah. Um, well, I'm, um-- I guess I'm having a little- I'm having a little problem.

Charlie: The rashes are back?

Glenn: Right. The rashes are back, but that's not it. I-I, uh, I guess I'm just having a little trouble figuring out, you know, what it all means.

Charlie: I don't know if we're qualified to, uh, give you the answers of the universe. And, uh, you might need Better Help.

Rob: Okay. Now, wait, do you mean better help like superior assistance, which could come from almost anybody other than us? Or do you mean BetterHelp like the online therapy company?

Charlie: Now that's actually not a bad idea.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: What is that?

Charlie: Better Help? Oh, it's an affordable, accessible, and convenient online alternative to in-person therapy. You fill out a brief survey and you get matched with the therapist, okay? And if it doesn't feel like the right fit, you switch therapists anytime.

Glenn: Ah, geez. I don't know. Does therapy really work?

Rob: I think that's just it, right? It's doing the work. Teaching yourself to stay in problem-solving mode.

Glenn: Uh, yeah. I like the sound of that.

Rob: When you wanna be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit today to get 10% off your first month.

Charlie: That's

Rob: I'm gonna do it.


Charlie: The Always Sunny Podcast, is supported by Visa.

Rob: Our characters on the show have had a lot of big ideas over the years and now we're saying that all of the ideas were good ideas.

Glenn: Mm-hmm. No, no, no. They were mostly, mostly bad ideas, almost entirely.

Charlie: I don't know, uh, some of them were-were pretty good like, uh, some-some kittens out there they need mittens, you know. Any way you look at it they don't have enough fun on their paws and they-they wanna keep them warm.

Rob: Okay, one that I personally think, um, what-- that did have a lot of potential, Fight Milk.

Charlie: Mm-mm.

Rob: Because alcohol historically has had not-- it just hasn't had enough nutritional value.

Glenn: Buddy.

Rob: In the market, you know what I mean?

Glenn: I can't agree with you more there.

Charlie: Okay, you know what the problem is though with all these ventures is that our characters never really had the support you need to get-- they get these ideas off the ground, right? You need some backup, you need some support.

Rob: They needed Visa.

Glenn: Yeah, oh, really, Visa?

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Okay.

Rob: Yes. Visa has the power to help bring your game-changing ideas to life.

Glenn: That's right.

Charlie: Visa, anyone can change the game.


Meg: And this is, uh, Billy.


Glenn: He's got a Miller High Life.

Rob: Yeah. This whole thing looks--

Billy: Greetings and fucking salutations. How you doin’? It's Mr. Monday night. Mr. $2 Tuesday, Mr. White Girl Wasted Wednesday, Mr. Thirsty Thursday, Mr. Freaky Friday, Mr. Stupid Saturday, and my personal fucking favorite. Mr. Sunday Funday. How you doin’? Billy Joe Morero over here, I just wanna let you know ain't no guy more Philly than this fucking guy. How you doing, cuz?


Rob: Well, that beer looks good, doesn't it?

Glenn: Hey Billy.


Charlie: Oh, he's got a whole setup. He's got his own podcast going on?

Billy: Wait a minute- wait a minute. What's going on here?

Rob: Oh, look he's got his Bird-

Billy: Oh, yeah guys.

Rob: He's got his lover. What's up?


Billy: This is so wow. Let's start my video.

Rob: Wait a minute, this is a trip man. Your-your-your, you got a whole setup over there. Are you recording your own podcast over there, what are you doing?

Billy: No, no, negative. Um, uh, I-I do music, so that's why I got the fancy stuff.

Glenn: Oh, okay.

Charlie: Now, let's talk about the championship belt behind you.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Are you the champ, do you have a-are you?

Billy: No, that's a- that's a Stone Cold Steve Austin replica belt.


Glenn: Fuck ya, man.

Rob: That's amazing.

Billy: But it's- but its leather and it's gold-plated, it's legit.

Glenn: Oh, so it's heavy, it's got the- it's got the weight to it.

Billy: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: Okay, so you don't want that to come crashing down?

Billy: It's not- it’s not the maniac's replica belt.

Glenn: Oh, that would have been good, that would have been cool.

Rob: Now, I notice your boy, I don't see yours. I noticed your boy had-had a Miller High Life and it is what is it? 1:30 there, over there?

Billy: No, no, no. Uh, uh, we're doing Boggs.

All hosts: Oh.

Charlie: Okay, I thought you just had stitches taken out so, uh.

Billy: I called out work and told my girl I was like, "If I'm calling out work, um, I'm gonna get smacked when I'm talking to the guys."

Glenn: All right, okay. How many-

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: One, two, three, four, five, of those?

Billy: Uh, uh, it is number six.

Rob: You're on six.

Glenn: Wow. Okay, so you're smashed.

Billy: Six all day though. So that's not bad, right?

Rob: No, that's not.

Charlie: No.

Glenn: That's actually well-paced.

Rob: Yeah.

Billy: I think so.

Rob: Yeah

Billy: I think it's well-paced.

Rob: Yeah, and where's your boy? How-how many does he have?

Billy: Oh, I got two of my homies, I got my boy Fiddler here.

Glenn: What's up Fiddler?

Rob: Fiddler, very close to Billy, great.

Billy: And Mark Bullet.

Charlie: Hey [crosstalk] Fiddler and Bullet.

Billy: I love it, holy shit. I can curse, right?

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: It's cool, yeah.

Billy: Fucking awesome.


Glenn: You look like a sports guy.

Billy: So I grew up in a very blue-collar south Philly family but, um, but as a little boy I had an affinity for theater and music. Grease was like my favorite, uh, movie growing up so.

Glenn: Oh, nice okay.

Rob: You're my favorite caller so far. I like this guy.

Billy: I'm his favorite caller so far, that's awesome.

Rob: You're-you're fascinating.

Charlie: You're very good, you guys-

Rob: He's very, very Philly, he's a lot of fun.


Glenn: Uh, what kind of music- what kind of music you're making over there? You're making the Rock and Roll to make the kids, uh, the kids bopping to it?


Billy: No, I'm gonna be honest with you, I do not. By the way Megan, uh, its-its great to see you. Uh, you're such a nice breath of fresh air considered to these guys.

Rob: Yeah.

Billy: I just wanted you to know that.

Rob: That's really great.

Glenn: I-I love you made that gesture, and then talked about how I was a breath of fresh air.

Rob: You went a breath of-of fresh air.

Glenn: Fresh air.


Rob: I just wanna- I just wanna reach out and grab you, you know.


Glenn: All right.

Billy: I'll say a little penance all right, uh, but-


Charlie: What's your music, what's kind of music you make?

Billy: So, I, jeez Louise, that's such a weird question to ask. Um, it’s-

Rob: It's not a weird question to ask actually.

Billy: It's uncomfortable to answer 'cause it feels a bit pretentious.

Rob: Why don't you- why don't you not explain it, why don't you play some of it?

Glenn: Oh, there we go.

Billy: I think you should- I think you should go with, um, um, Back to Life. That's the best song. [music]

Charlie: Back to life.

Billy: That's a good song too. I'm talking to the Sunny guys.

[Billy's music plays]

I was feeling empty

I was feeling lost

I've been fighting of love

Never mind the cost

Never got the big win

Billy: Charlie's liking it.

Charlie: Yeah, it's good.

[Billy's music plays]

Every time they get in,

They wanna cut me off

Charlie: Drop the beat right about here.

Billy: Yup-


Billy: -drop it on the ninth bar.

[Billy's music plays]

I just want a long life

Well, see me growing old.

Glenn: This is good.

Billy: Thank you.

Glenn: This is good shit.

Rob: Wow.

Billy: That's amazing from the guy that taught me The D.E.N.N.I.S System.


Charlie: There you go. That's a plug.

Rob: All right. You got a plug.

Charlie: It's a plug.

Rob: It's a plug.

Charlie: All right, listen, man. Are you coming to the live show?

Billy: I want to come to the live show. I need to know what date it is 'cause my son is a football player now. He's 14. He's in high school so I need to make sure of that, um--

Glenn: Whoa, wait, what? Wait, how old are you?

Charlie: Nah, nah, nah, nah.

Billy: I'm 35.

Charlie: Oh.

Rob: You started young.

Charlie: Oh, wow, you started young.

Glenn: Oh, okay, okay.

Rob: Wow.

Billy: Yeah but no, I'm Puerto Rican. We start young.

Charlie: Okay, atta boy, um--

Meg: [chuckles] Um, well, it's September 18th and 19th so--

Rob: It's a Sunday night to Monday night.

Billy: September 18 to 19?

Meg: It's a Sunday night and a Monday night.

Billy: I-I get paid tomorrow. I'm buying the tickets.

Meg: Okay.

Billy: Fun fact, when the Eagles won the Super Bowl- the Super Bowl Parade, I lost two pairs of shoes in one day-

Meg: [chuckles]

Billy: -for partying so hard.


Rob: Wow.

Meg: That's great.

Billy: I lost shoes and then someone's like, "Oh, wear your shoes," like, "Yeah, excuse me, get some shoes."

Charlie: I was wondering how that happened. How do you lose your shoes?

Billy: I have no idea, to be honest with you. I was so smacked.

Meg: [chuckles]

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, that's what happens.

Rob: All right. Well, you got the tickets.

Charlie: Get the man some tickets.

Billy: Are you serious?

Charlie: Get the man some tickets.

Rob: Get the man some tickets. You got them.

Billy: Fuck out here. Yeah. [laughs]


Billy: Let's go. Put it down, baby.



Meg: Great. Well, get some for your buddies there too so you, three of us will come as well.

Charlie: All right, yeah, get some for those boys.

Billy: No, no, no, now that I got tickets, I mean, they won't probably be sitting with me, but, um-

Meg: Oh, okay. [chuckles]

Billy: -they're lining up.

Rob: Okay.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, take them out.

Billy: What's it gonna be a Union Transfer? Is it at the Met?

Rob: It's at the Met.

Meg: It's at the Met.

Billy: It's at the Met.

Rob: Yeah, we're classy.

Meg: Classy.

Glenn: Fancy.

Billy: Literally, around the corner from me.

Meg: Oh, great.

Glenn: Wow.

Charlie: You can walk and you probably should walk.

Rob: You should probably walk.


Billy: I'm not gonna drive.

Charlie: Bring four pairs of shoes.


Billy: Let's go, these guys.

Meg: [laughs]

Charlie: Right on, man. Well, we'll see you at the show.

Billy: Oh my God. Thank you so much, guys.

Rob: We'll see you at the show.

Meg: All right, Billy.

Billy: Rock on.

Glenn: Dude, great to meet you, man.

Meg: Nice to meet you.

Billy: Thank you so much. A pleasure to meet you, guys.

Meg: All right. Bye-bye.

Charlie: Bye.

Glenn: See you, pal. Thank you.

Meg: Thanks everybody for coming and we'll see you at the live shows.

Charlie: See you at the live show.

[End Credits]


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