The Gang Finds a Dead Guy | Always Sunny Podcast – The Always Sunny Podcast
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Episode #6

The Gang Finds a Dead Guy

Love the face, hate the voice.

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6. The Gang Finds a Dead Guy

On the pod, the guys revisit The Gang Finds a Dead Guy from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 1, Episode 6.

Glenn: You told a story about seeing some dead bodies the other day.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: We should have saved it for this one, but maybe we could--

Rob: That would've made more sense.

Glenn: Well, maybe we cut it into this episode.

Rob: Or maybe we just make it as confusing as the first season of this-- of the show.

Charlie: That's an unusual technique and process, I think.

Rob: Yeah. We're finding it.

Glenn: We're just sort of finding it.

Rob: But I think it's fun that the audience is finding it as we find it. So it's a shared experience.

Glenn: What do you mean?

Rob: Well, I mean, you know, they're seeing the creative process in action, where it's like, "Hey, this doesn't work." Right? But we're gonna air it anyway because we want you to be part of the process, uh, listener.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Okay. So are you saying you're gonna get feedback from people on this thing-

Rob: No, no-

Glenn: -and-and you're gonna make adjustments--

Rob: -no, this is an outgoing communication.

Glenn: Got it. Got it.

Rob: But I think it's gonna be fun for people to-to kind of see how-how bad things can get.

Glenn: Well, let me ask you a question, Rob.

Rob: Okay.

Glenn: Since we're talking about this. How do you feel the podcast is going so far?

Rob: I think it's pretty good. I think if our general rule is, like, we always kind of approach the show this way, which is like, if we are laughing, then at least it's fun for us. And I think that alone is a good enough reason to do it.

Glenn: And what if we're not laughing like right now?

Charlie: Mm.

Rob: Well, sometimes not--

Charlie: Could also be interesting though, right?

Rob: Yeah, life's not always about laughter.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Rob: There's lots of, you know, I mean, you know, I-I--

Charlie: Like, what's your take on God? You know, that kind of stuff like-- Yeah.

Rob: Well, we addressed that in the show. We addressed that in the show.

Charlie: We did?

Rob: Well, in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Charlie: Oh, right, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: I-- you know, I-I, for a long time I felt this pressure, and I think it's understandable, to be funny all the time when doing, like, interviews and podcasts-

Charlie: Mm.

Glenn: -and, you know, red carpet events and things like that. And, um, I found that it was taking me to a really dark place because I was resenting--

Rob: You? You? Wait, you were getting dark?

Charlie: You went to a dark place, huh?

Glenn: Can you believe that? Can you believe that?

Charlie: I cannot.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Guys, you know what's funny?

Charlie: What?

Rob: Dead bodies.

Charlie: What?


Rob: Now, in this episode, we found a dead body and we started-

Charlie: Yes, yeah, and we should get to it.

Rob: -with-with a-a crack about Tom Brady. Now, at the time, it was 2005.

Glenn: Correct.

Rob: And, uh, I believe we had just watched him, uh, or I had just watched him beat the Eagles and that would've made it three Super Bowls for Tom Brady in 2005.

Charlie: Three already by 2005.

Rob: Yeah. And I think we were making some sort of joke about how we were gonna hurt him physically.

Glenn: Well, you were gonna break his arm.

Rob: Yes, and of course then, Dee, rightfully so, suggests that there's no way we could beat up Tom Brady. Tom Brady would beat the living crap out of all of us, especially me. And then, uh, either way, Tom Brady went on to win four more-- three more Super Bowls after that and play in five-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: -maybe six. And he's played in about 10 AFC Championships.

Charlie: I mean, the last Super Bowl there was, he won.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Rob had dinner with Tom Brady the other night.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Now, that's where you've gotten to in life. And-

Glenn: Did you really?

Rob: I-- Yes.

Charlie: -you-you invited me, a kid from New England, and, uh, I-I declined. I didn't feel like going.

Rob: He didn't-

Glenn: What?

Rob: -he didn't wanna go.

Charlie: Meh, I didn't wanna go.

Glenn: Yeah. My wife did a commercial with Tom Brady in the early 2000s. I don't remember what it was for, some sort of credit card or something like that. You can-- I think you can find it-

Rob: Oh.

Glenn: -online somewhere. I think we looked it up on YouTube once, 'cause I wanted to see that.

Charlie: Glenn, did you do-- I did a ton of commercials. Did you do commercials for--

Glenn: I tried. You know, I have a funny little story about when I first graduated from college and I was meeting with, like, agents and things like that. I met with a commercial agent. Is that what they're called?

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, Abrams Artists was the- was the joint in New York, I remember.

Glenn: Yeah. Well, there was one other one. It was called S--

Rob: Cunningham? SE M&M

Glenn: Yes, that's-- SE M&M. That's who it was.

Rob: That's who I was with.

Glenn: That's who I was with too. Yeah. Okay. I forgot the name. Good-good memory. So I went to--

Rob: Schiffman Ekman Morrison & Marx.

Glenn: That was another one? [crosstalk]

Rob: No, that's SE M&M.

Glenn: Okay.

Rob: And M&M.

Glenn: I think that's- I think that's- I think that's the one that I was with. Anyway, I went to, uh, meet with, uh, somebody there who was, like, one of the main guys there or whatever. I'm, like, waiting for a long time. They've got me sat at, like, a coffee table area or whatever. Guy finally shows up, he comes in, he sits down across from me, and he just looks at me, you know, just looks at me, and I'm like, "What the fuck is going on?" I'm like, "Hi, hi, nice to meet you." He's like, "Yeah. Mm-hmm." He just--


Rob: I know-

Glenn: You know this story.

Rob: I know this story.

Glenn: No, I know. I know.

Rob: Of course I've heard this--

Charlie: I don't- I don't know it. [crosstalk]

Rob: Yes, you do.

Glenn: Yes, you do, you do, you do, you do.

Charlie: No, I don't. I don't.

Rob: Maybe you'll get it when you [crosstalk]

Charlie: I don't. I don't.

Glenn: You'll remember it.

Charlie: I don't know it.

Glenn: I think you'll remember it. When I [unintelligible 00:04:24]

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: So he's just staring at me, looking at me and I'm like, "This is fucking so weird." Like, he's taking like a full, I mean, you know, like the longest 15 seconds of my life, you know. He finally-- he goes, "BHB." Keep in mind, I'm, like, this kid, just straight outta col-- I wasn't really a kid. I was like 24. Uh, felt like a kid. And I was like, "Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, I-- what do you- what do you mean?" He's like, "BHB." And I was like, "I-I-I'm-I'm so sorry. I don't-- I'm-I'm new to this, but I don't know what you're saying."

Rob: Blow him, boy.


Glenn: Somebody chimes in from another office, "Blow him, boy."

Charlie: From behind the glass wall. We're filming.


Rob: It's still the late '90s. He can get away with it.

Glenn: Um--

Rob: No, that's not what BH- that's not what BHB stands for.

Glenn: But I mean, this guy, he was so fucking douchy. It was like he would-- he just-- he loved, like, that I didn't know what he was talking about. He loved the power or-- it was, like, the weirdest fucking thing. And I was like, "I-I'm so sorry. I don't know the terms. I don't know what that is. I don't know what you're saying to me. And I'm so sorry." You know, I'm-I'm just-- I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm a child. He was like, "Big heads book."

Charlie: Oh my God. Never heard this story.

Rob: So he was both complimenting--

Charlie: I would remember that. I would remember that. Come on.

Glenn: He was looking at me, he was looking at my head and he was going, "You're gonna book stuff 'cause you've got a big head, and big heads book."

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: And you know what?

Rob: He was wrong.

Glenn: Well, I don't know about that. I mean, John Travolta has got the biggest head that has ever been put on a human being. [crosstalk]

Charlie: Do you know [crosstalk]

Glenn: And so does Danny DeVito.

Charlie: Well, yeah, that's true.

Glenn: Yeah, he's got a bowling ball. That's a- that's a bowling ball. That's an- that's an extra large bowling ball-

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: -sitting atop his shoulders. I didn't book any commercials though. To answer your question, I didn't book a single fucking one.

Charlie: Wow.

Rob: Bec-- well, because you didn't blow him. Like, let's be honest, that's really what it was about.

Glenn: That's what BHB really stood for? [crosstalk]

Charlie: He can't get you the commercials though. He's just getting you in the door. Then you gotta do the--

Rob: But he's the big--

Charlie: You gotta get in that door and then start blowing.

Glenn: But I also, by the way, I also probably went to 10 commercial auditions total before I just went, you know what? I don't care how much money it is, I'm not doing this anymore.

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Glenn: And I-I just sto-- I just stopped going. 'Cause I was like, "I-I-I'll live off $400 a week doing off-Broadway plays. This is so fucking humiliating."

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: I hate-- and this is, by the way, no offense to people who do commercials. I get it. You make a lot of money. It's a great way to make a living, and certainly, if you've got a family to feed, it makes a lot of sense. Personally, I just, I did not like it. I did-- I didn't like it. I didn't like how it made me feel, I didn't like the auditions. I was like, "This is a fucking waste of my time.

Charlie: Coming out of Juilliard, where you're, like, working on scene and character. And they're like, "All right, so here, the soup's really hot," and you gotta tell your buddy, give him that. Like, oh my God, it's hot. Look, but--

Rob: Like, awooga, like-like really, like, a big--

Charlie: You know, and then the hot chick walks by and you-you're like, "But that's hot too." And then you're like, you know, someone yells Doritos, and then, you know, and then--

Glenn: And then your eyes pop out of your head.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, and then maybe say something funny, but don't--

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And then, uh, yeah.

Rob: And then there's only 400 or 500 other guys that are looking for the same part.

Charlie: Glenn, I had the opposite experience. I booked the first commercial audition I ever went in on.

Glenn: Wow.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Wow.

Charlie: It was for Footlocker.

Rob: You were-- you did a lot of commercials.

Glenn: Oh, wait, is-- can we find--

Charlie: I did.

Glenn: -can-can-can the listener find, uh, your Footlocker commercial on YouTube?

Charlie: You know, that was not out there. My-my Cascade one's out there.

Glenn: What was the one where you were on the stairs? You were passing somebody on some stairs, maybe talking about bagels or something.

Charlie: Oh, oh, that's Thomas's bagels. That's out there.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie: Yeah. And--

Rob: Were they voice over somebody else's?

Charlie: Oh, no, no, that was, um--

Glenn: Oh, what? They put somebody else's voiceover. [crosstalk]

Charlie: That-that was Excedrin.

Rob: Yeah, Excedrin.

Charlie: That was Excedrin.

Rob: Like, when you're on a date.

Charlie: Yeah, where-


Charlie: I'm on a date and the girl throws water in my face, and then it cuts to, like, a box of Excedrin, and they say, like, uh, "I didn't know she was your sister." So it's implied that I was staring at her sister or something.

Glenn: Mm.

Charlie: And it was about, like, some tabs that dissolve quickly, you don't need water. Like, that was a joke. I did a, like, a two hour session with the- with the producers trying to get me to say, I didn't know she was your sister in the way that they wanted. And I was like-- They probably were just hearing this voice and being like, "I didn't know that voice was on that face. This is, uh, what are we gonna do here?"

Rob: Love the face. Hate the voice.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Love the face. Hate the voice.

Charlie: But-but--

Glenn: The Charlie Day story.

Charlie: I had enough self-confidence at that point to be like, in my mind, like, "Okay, guys, go fuck yourself."

Glenn: Go fuck yourself.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Get somebody else to do it.

Charlie: And that's what they did.

Glenn: That is what they did.

Charlie: And it was like a British accent.

Glenn: If I may, uh, Charlie, you know, and look, you're still a very handsome man, but you were strikingly handsome as a young man.

Charlie: Well--

Glenn: Truly, I don't understand why-

Charlie: Come on.

Glenn: -you cover it up with the beard all the time. Because I-- whenever you shave, I'm always like, "Look at that fucking guy."

Charlie: Well, I'll tell you what happened with the beard.

Glenn: Look at that jawline, look at-- very handsome, Charlie.

Charlie: Here's what happened with the beard. We-we were like, "Oh, it would be funny for the character to do the-- to have the beard in Sunny."

Glenn: Sure.

Charlie: He's scraggly and he is, you know, sloppy. He-he's not taking care of him, so he doesn't care about, like, a nice shave.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And then we never stopped doing the show.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: So then I would be between gigs and they were like, "Well, I-- you might as well just keep the beard because then it's gonna," like, "We're gonna run back into Sunny." And then I just always-- and then it was like, "Well, now if you take the beard off, it's gonna frighten people and disappoint them." So I just kept the beard, but that's nice of you to say, Glenn, I did not feel strikingly handsome growing up at all.

Glenn: Well, you've got a very- you've got a very handsome, very symmetrical face.

Charlie: Well, thank you. Thank you.

Glenn: And I enjoy looking at it on a daily basis. And you know what? You also look good with a mustache.

Charlie: Women did- women did not agree with you when I was in school.

Rob: I-I-I think-- I find that hard to believe.

Glenn: I do too.

Charlie: It's just the way it was.

Rob: I think maybe you weren't picking up on it.

Charlie: Guys, we were young men and they would flock to the two of you and they'd be like, "There's-- that one, he doesn't seem neurotypical." And then they would just go, like, away. [laughter]

Rob: Well, maybe the fact that you're- you are not neurotypical.

Glenn: What does neurotypical [crosstalk]

Charlie: I don't know.

Glenn: I'm sorry, I don't know what that means.

Charlie: We don't know, but like the things, like, you know, ADHD or whatever are going-

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: -to like, uh--

Glenn: Oh, I see.

Rob: But maybe you weren't picking up on the social cues-

Charlie: No-

Rob: -with the ladies who were--

Charlie: -that is true.

Rob: Okay.

Charlie: I needed a flashing green light-

Glenn: I did--

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: -to-to try anything.

Rob: Yes, fair.

Glenn: Yes, so did I.

Charlie: And I remember be-- dating a girl-

Glenn: Still do.

Charlie: -in college once where I went on like nine dates with her and she's like, "Are you gonna kiss me?" I'm like, "Okay, so this is, like-

Glenn: So you want that?

Charlie: -so this is something you want?"

Glenn: Okay, you want my lips to-- all right, okay.

Charlie: Yeah, I was not, uh--

Glenn: I was always the same way, Charlie. I-I could-- I'm so, so, so not like Dennis, in that regard. I-I needed a big, as you said, flashing green go sign before I would ever make a move, but mostly because I was just so terrified of rejection, terrified of ever having a moment in my life where I went to kiss a girl and she was like, "Oh, no nope, nope."

Rob: Charlie tells a great story of that actually happening.

Charlie: I did that once, and that kind of--

Rob: That really scarred you.

Charlie: It did.

Glenn: That scarred you?

Charlie: It did, yeah.

Glenn: All right, what's that story? What's that story?

Charlie: Well, you know, there was a girl, I liked her, and we had a flirtatious relationship, and, uh, you know, I think it was probably early 20s or 21, 22.

Rob: Glenn has heard this story.

Charlie: Um.

Glenn: Of course, I have, of course.

Charlie: Uh, and Horn-- I think I asked Hornsby. I was like, "What's-what's the deal?" You know, "Do you think she likes me?" And then Hornsby was like, "Just go, just-just try." And then there was, like, a moment, a little charged moment where I thought, "Okay, maybe this is--" and then I tried to kiss her, and her face scrunched up like she just sucked like 900 lemons. And I-I mean, I-I was devastated.

Glenn: That is-- that's- that's the worst-- That's gotta be the worst feeling in the world.

Charlie: And she's very nice about it. She's like, "It's not you, I-- there's-there's this guy that I'm with." And I'm like, but I'm like, "No, it's-it's-it's me and I'm dead. I'm so sorry.


Charlie: I'm so--

Glenn: Did you apologize?

Charlie: Oh, of course.

Glenn: Did you actually--

Charlie: Yes.

Glenn: Yeah, I'm so sorry.

Charlie: Oh-

Glenn: I'm so sorry for putting you through that.

Charlie: -I'm so sorry. No, no, no, it's-- I'm sorry, I misread the room. I'm gonna go- I'm gonna go, I'm-- I'll be fine- I'll be fine.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Um, Glenn, you said there's a noose around here somewhere, right, yeah.


Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: No, but, uh, I was fine. That was the- that was the only one time, but you know.

Glenn: Rob, uh, you-you were the kind of person who would get rejected and you'd just be like, "Well, I guess on to the next." Like, you-

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: -you would be-- you were- you were playing the numbers game, weren't you?

Rob: Yeah, the-the rejection was coming so often-

Glenn: Right.

Rob: -and at such high volume that it--

Glenn: Kinda like getting in cold water. You just--

Rob: Yeah, but think that-- again, if we're gonna get back into, uh, the psychology that we've set up earlier in-in previous episodes-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: -I-- it has something to do with hitting puberty late.

Glenn: Oh.

Rob: So you got-- you gotta just try, you know, like you're 17, 16, 17 and all, like, the me-- like the boys who are- who are becoming men are the ones that are attractive to the women, not the 5'2 obnoxious one.

Glenn: Right.

Rob: So I was trying, just-just-just doing my best to, you know.

Glenn: But I mean, this-this was still the case well into your 20s.

Rob: Yeah, because I took that with me.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Which was, like, I didn't take it-- even though I should have taken it personally, because it is quite personal to try to attract a woman, and her to reject you.

Glenn: Right.

Rob: But I would take the rejection and then I would just-- I would say, "Okay, thank you very much," and then I'd move on to the next rejection. [chuckles]

Glenn: I think that's-- Listen, I-- on some level, I think that's very, very healthy. I think it's good to acclimate yourself to--

Rob: To failure.

Glenn: Look, go after what you want and acclimate yourself to failure so that it doesn't completely destroy you and you still continue to pursue whatever it is that you're going for.

Charlie: Yeah, you're like a tick. Like, the tick doesn't mind if someone one picks-- you know, flicks it across the room and picks it outta their hair. [crosstalk] It goes and it finds other hair, you know.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And like--

Glenn: You're like a tick, Rob.

Rob: It's also-- oh, I've accept-- I acce-- I've accepted that a long time ago. I've-I've-I've attached myself to you guys, like-

Glenn: That's true.

Charlie: That's true.

Rob: - you didn't even- didn't even notice.

Charlie: And drained us dry.

Rob: Yeah, I did it to Megan too.

Charlie: No, we notice.

Rob: I did it to my wife, you-you guys are aware of it. [laughs]

Charlie: Hey, guys, shut up.

Glenn: He's a human parasite.

Charlie: Hey, guys, shut-shut the hell up. Um, today's podcast is brought to you by air. Um, 95% of air breathers survive. Uh, breathe air.

Glenn: Get air in your mouth.


Charlie: This episode that we just watched-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -so much of our transition music-

Glenn: Mm.

Charlie: -I feel like Dennis, you're finding Dennis a little bit in this-- the dynamic between the two of you-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: -very funny.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Mac's really finding his sexuality. I think we-- you see the s- the seeds being planted.

Glenn: Do you?

Rob: That we knew we were gonna use later down the road with Mac coming out.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: That was very clear.

Glenn: I don't know what you're talking about. I literally don't.

Charlie: No, no, that's sarcasm. It doesn't play.

Glenn: There are a lot of firsts in this episode. We found some new transition music, as you said. This is the first time where, like, we actually wrote funny stuff for Dee. Like pretty much from start to finish, where she wasn't a wet blanket. She had a very funny objective, which is to try and, you know, overcome her fear of old people, to try and have a relationship with her grandfather, but she's so disgusted by old people that she can't move past it, and it was just really fun to watch Kaitlin finally get to do something really, really funny. Uh--

Charlie: It's kinda like a defensive mode for her. I-I think we-we really kind of hit-hit a stride with her when we made her go pure offensive.

Glenn: Oh, totally, yeah. When we made her just as despicable as we are.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: 'Cause you're right. The comedy came from a-a much more of a reactive place than an active place.

Rob: Also, the first time it feels like we have one of those scenes that we then went to the well, and continue to go to the well, 'cause it's so fun, of two characters sitting across from-

Glenn: Mm.

Rob: -some authority figure-

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: -and trying to do something ridiculous.

Glenn: Right. The mu-- you're talking about the museum curator.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: We're trying to sell the Nazi uniform and-

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: -profit off of it.

Rob: And that-- and we--

Glenn: And not picking up on the cues and just sort of like, barrelling through it, and yeah.

Rob: Yeah, and I think I'll bet you, you could go through our editing room and find, uh, we always-- we would always shoot-- and we-- I think we still do it from time to time, is shoot headers to those scenes, 'cause we're like-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: -already in the chairs generally, and the person is coming into their own office to sit down.

Charlie: So sorry I'm late, uh--

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: So you-you had some-- you know.

Rob: And so we usually-

Glenn: Right.

Rob: -would shoot a scene, we definitely script it, and we'd shoot a scene, but basically talking about what we were gonna do. The characters were like, "Okay, here's what we're gonna do, and here's why we're gonna do it," and then we didn't have enough experience to realize like, "Well, why don't we just do it instead of talk about what we're gonna do?" And yet we kept writing it and kept shooting it. So I'll bet you there's like hundreds of those scenes-

Glenn: Oh, yeah.

Rob: -that we've never seen before.

Glenn: Headers that we cut-

Rob: Headers that are-

Glenn: -where the characters are explaining what they're about.

Rob: -that are just riveting.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Just riveting.

Charlie: And we would do it at the end of a scene too, which is like, now, let's go to so and so's place.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Or something like that.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, but we-- I think-- at least we had the presence of mind to cut that stuff in the editing room. I mean, it's not so bad to shoot it, have it-

Rob: Sure.

Glenn: -in case for some reason you get in the editing room and you realize-

Rob: Sure.

Glenn: -you know, this is actually a little confusing.

Charlie: Yeah, sometimes- sometimes-

Glenn: I can't-- I don't know why they're--

Charlie: -you need it, sometimes you don't.

Glenn: Hey, guys, I caught another band sticker in that bar scene, I think it's a band. Avenged Sevenfold. Did you-- have you guys been seeing those stickers?

Rob: Let's look it up.

Charlie: Okay.

Rob: Meg, should we look it up?

Glenn: All right, here we go.

Charlie: I-I will say we-we-we did crack the case of those Thrice stickers.

Glenn: We did.

Charlie: We remembered that there was a-a person who worked in that Herald examiner building that was the old newspa-paper factory.

Rob: Mm.

Charlie: That the bar set was in.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Who was sticking those stickers up?

Rob: Yeah, Baxter.

Glenn: Oh, hey, Bax? Bax, you son of a bitch, you had no right to do that. You had no right-

Charlie: And just sort of bombed--

Glenn: -to push your agenda on our audience.

Charlie: Pushed your Thrice and Bax agenda all over our show.

Rob: Now, I will say that there is a system of checks and balance that-that balances that is in place for that, like, say, the art department-

Glenn: Right.

Rob: -who might be looking to see what's being up-- [crosstalk]

Glenn: Did we have an art department?

Charlie: I-

Rob: I don't know.

Charlie: -I bet there was a deal that was cut.

Glenn: Pretty bare bones. Yeah. [crosstalk]

Rob: A deal was cut.

Charlie: A deal that was cut, and Bax said-

Rob: Yeah, money was changing hands.

Charlie: -"hey, let me get these stickers in here-

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: -and--"

Rob: A backroom Baxter deal.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: I'll tell-- A backroom Baxter.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Backroom Baxter cut some deals under our nose and got his stickers up, Bax-

Glenn: That's a real-

Charlie: -you dirty bird.

Glenn: -that's a real downtown LA mentality.

Rob: Yeah. [crosstalk]

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, that was the way things were done.

Rob: He walked away with 20s of dollars.

Glenn: 20s. 20s.

Rob: 20s of dollars.

Glenn: Like multiple 20s-

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: -for that.

Charlie: He came in with a few things, he was like, "Can I kiss the lead actress?" They're like, "No."

Glenn: [laughs] Right.

Charlie: Uh, "Will you send me the extras to my trai-- uh, my trailer?" "No." "Can I put the sticker up?" "Yeah." You know, that's probably what happened.

Rob: There you go.

Charlie: That's the way it was done.

Glenn: And also like, a-and this is gonna be s-- a little bit sadder than the other request, but can I just hang out with you guys?

Rob: I remember him-

Charlie: No.

Rob: -hanging out though.

Glenn: [laughs] He did, that's what I'm saying.

Rob: Yeah, we'd roll back, hey, Bax.

Glenn: He did hang out.

Charlie: We didn't have a problem. [crosstalk]

Glenn: Guys.

Rob: We have-- it's confirmed that that is a band.

Glenn: Avenged Sevenfold has a song on Spotify that has been listened to 319 million times.

Rob: Woo.

Glenn: So guys we are the assholes.

Charlie: Bax, that's a lot of listening pal. Bax has been listening-

Glenn: Here we go.

Charlie: - to that song like crazy.


Charlie: Yes.

Glenn: That's what I'm talking about.


Rob: Sounds like fucking AC/DC. I like it.

Glenn: Yeah, that's some AC/DC shit, isn't it?


Glenn: I can get down with this.


Glenn: Okay, Bax.

Rob: Birds of war.

Glenn: Oh, yeah, a little bit


Glenn: Okay, I guess.

Charlie. How was the lyrics?

Glenn: It just sort of goes on and on like that for 15 fucking minutes.

Charlie: 300 million.

Glenn: 300 million people are like, "Yeah."

Charlie: I enjoyed that.

Glenn: Never-ending intro to a song. Um, no, that sounded great, guys. Avenged Sevenfold, uh-

Rob: That sounded pretty good. [chuckles]

Glenn: -my apologies to-

Charlie: You're better at what you do than we are.

Glenn: You guys are clearly very good at what you do and-and again, just like with Thrice, I'm gonna hit the gym. I'm gonna put on your album, and you've got one song to hook me, 'cause [laughs] I don't have a lot of patience.

Charlie: Yeah.


Glenn: You get one song, guys.

Charlie: Here's a genuine question about that first season, which I do not recall. Rob, where were you living when we shot that very first-

Glenn: Oh.

Charlie: -season?

Rob: We had apartments right next to each other.

Rob: Was that Season 1?

Glenn: Yeah, that was Season 1.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Rob had an apartment on Coldwater Canyon with Chris Backus-

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: -for a long time.

Rob: -but after that I live with Charlie.

Charlie: Yeah, you lived in my house for a little bit.

Glenn: For a little while, and then you-- well--

Rob: I got kicked the fuck outta there.

Glenn: And then--

Rob: 'Cause you guys were getting married. 'Cause you guys were getting married.

Charlie: Oh, we we’re getting married and we didn’t need a roommate

Rob: You were-- and you were like, "We don’t need a roommate. [laughs]

Glenn: And then you were- and then you were living in Shiloh Strong's guesthouse

Charlie: Yes.

Rob: Wasn’t I living there at the time?

Charlie: You were--

Rob: I was living in the garage. [crosstalk]

Glenn: For-for the first part of it. For the first part of it, yes, you were, and when we shot the FX pilot and all that, you were, but by the end, 'cause I actually specifically remember writing to bring it back to this episode, us working on this episode together and going through stuff in what became your apartment, which was literally right next to my apartment in West Hollywood on Crescent Heights.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: See, my memory of that is that you guys were there when we did the pilot, but you guys were there when we did the first season, huh?

Glenn: Yeah, so we--

Rob: The pilot- the pilot, I was definitely in-in the garage.

Glenn: You were in the garage I think for quite a bit of that.

Rob: And then we did the first season--

Glenn: I like Shiloh Strong. I wonder how that guy's doing? I really like him.

Rob: He's good, I text with him once in a while.

Glenn: Yeah, I-I talked-- I've talked to him a couple times, but I haven't seen him as much.

Charlie: Brother of Rider Strong?

Glenn: Brother of Rider Strong, yeah. Boy Meets World.

Rob: Boy Meets World, yeah.

Glenn: And many other things. Rider Strong, who I always felt like kind of looked like you, Charlie.

Rob: Similar look.

Glenn: It's kind of similar looks.

Charlie: Handsome.

Rob: Very handsome.

Glenn: I feel like you and Rider Strong could definitely play brothers.

Charlie: Cool. Well, I'll pretend I know who that-that is.

Glenn: Oh, come on.

Rob: Charlie.

Charlie: No, I know who that is but, I need pictures, I need-- it's--

Glenn: At least acknowledge what a fucking cool name that is.

Charlie: It's a cool name. It's-it's--

Glenn: Rider Strong. Do you remember the-- what their dad's name was?

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: King Arthur Strong.

Charlie: No, it wasn't.

Glenn: I swear to God. Wasn't that--

Charlie: Shut up.

Glenn: Am I making that up? No, I swear to God.

Charlie: Shut up.

Glenn: No, I swear to God.

Charlie: Google it.

Glenn: Look it up, Megan. I swear to God, Shiloh and Ri--

Charlie: Oh, that dude. Yeah, I know him.

Glenn: Yeah, take a look at that guy. Come on [unintelligible 00:21:42]

Charlie: I can't remember names. Faces, no problem.

Megan: King Arthur Strong.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: What did I say?

Megan: A firefighter.

Rob: He's a firefighter.

Glenn: He's a fighter.

Charlie: Wow. [crosstalk]

Rob: These-these guys are badasses.

Charlie: I figured he would have worked at, like, uh, you know, like, uh, one of those- one of those places where you can pretend to be a knight and a king and uh--

Glenn: Oh, yeah, medieval times

Charlie: Medieval times. It's what it is.

Glenn: And I remember that Shiloh was very handy.

Rob: Yes

Glenn: Like he-he was always--

Rob: And he was a volunteer firefighter.

Glenn: He was a volunteer fighter, but he was also doing a bunch of shit in his house all the time. I mean, the guy, he was an actor and a good one, uh, but he was-- he also had, like, a lot of stu-- other shit that he was into, which is also so healthy, 'cause I never had any of that.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: You know, I play a little basketball on the side, but not very good at it. Always twisting my ankle and whatnot. Uh, yeah.

Rob: Well, that's good.

Charlie: How's your ankle now?

Glenn: Well, I don't- I don't play basketball anymore, but it's fine.

Charlie: It's fine.

Glenn: Yeah, it's fine. It healed, but, uh, it scarred me for a while. I was not aggressive on the ba--

Charlie: Scared. Scared to take it to the hole?

Glenn: I was-- take-- [laughs] Scared, right. I was scared to bring it all the way to the hole.

Rob: We would play ba-- that was like-- we-we did play basketball.

Glenn: Like a lot of basketball?

Rob: We played bas-- ba-bases. You did roll your ankle one time.

Glenn: Were you there-

Rob: Oh, yeah, I was there.

Glenn: -for that one? That was the big one that destroyed me.

Rob: That was a bad one.

Charlie: Then you guys got into racket ball for a little bit.

Glenn: We sure did.

Rob: Well, 'cause you could play it at The Y.

Glenn: Yeah, we were-- 'cause we were editing-- Well, we were--

Rob: I had anger issues. My-- I-I had more anger issues than you did.

Glenn: Buddy, you were breaking--

Rob: I-I transferred--

Glenn: You were smashing racket ball rackets left and right. [crosstalk]

Charlie: You were so angry, you-you-

Glenn: It was hard to watch.

Rob: [unintelligible 00:23:12]

Charlie: -you-you lost that.

Glenn: I kind of liked it though.

Rob: Yeah, I lost it.

Glenn: I kind of liked it. I thought-- I was--

Charlie: What do you attribute that to, wild success, and money, and fame?

Glenn: Wait a minute, wait a minute, what are you talking about?

Rob: Growing up, growing up a little bit.

Charlie: Growing up a little bit

Rob: Growing up a little bit.

Glenn: You know, the Bruce Springsteen song?

Charlie: It’s not all about you, and you can let stuff go a little bit.

Rob: I think so.

Charlie: Okay.

Glenn: I think so, but how many golf clubs have you smashed in the last year? Go.

Charlie: No, hey, man, you have not been tossing clubs. I’m super proud of you.

Rob: See.

Charlie: I'm super proud of you.

Glenn: Okay, in the last two years?

Rob: In the last two years I've brok- I've broken one or two clubs, but name me a golfer who hasn't. Name me a golfer who hasn’t. I've only smashed one phone.

Glenn: How many--

Rob: And I smashed one-one laptop, but that's 'cause the laptop was-was pooping out on me already, and I punched it. And the screen shattered, and it was kind of awesome.

Glenn: Oh, that's cool. I wish I could have seen that

Rob: I mean I've pu-- I punched it as hard as I could-

Glenn: Oh, fuck, really?

Rob: -and it, like, I did exactly what you wanted it to do.

Charlie: Nice.

Glenn: Oh, that's so fucking awesome. Did-- So you really got-- made contact with it.

Rob: -Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: That must've been very satisfying.

Rob: And it did exactly what it wanted-- It was--

Glenn: It splintered, the screen- the screen splintered like a windshield-

Charlie: I'm sorry.


Charlie: Please forgive me.


Glenn: What are you doing, Rob? Oh, Jesus, I can’t do that

Rob: Uh, I-I immediately shamed myself, right? Didn’t I call you, Meg? I was like, I have to tell people. I went to Kaitlin. I was like, "Kaitlin, I'm a child. I can't believe I just did this. I'm 43 years old. I punched a computer, and it was -and it was awesome."

Charlie: Sticking with this bit. What are you doing?

Glenn: [singing] Over the love of you. What am I doing, Rob?

Rob: You're doing, uh, Space Odyssey 2001.

Glenn: 2001: Space Odyssey, that’s right

Charlie: Really? I don't remember that-that scene.

Glenn: As he's shutting down, he's singing Daisy, Daisy, and he's getting-- it's getting slower and slower.

Charlie: See, I delete the files, guys.

Glenn: Oh, you can’t delete that one. That's the greatest movie ever made.

Charlie: I was like, "I don’t want to."

Glenn: That’s the greatest movie ever made.

Rob: I think we should have a whole separate podcast maybe as a bonus episode of stories that I know, that you guys know that you told each other.

Glenn: Ooh, that’s a fun game.

Glenn: Well, you remember them all though.

Rob: I don't know why I do.

Charlie: Just name-name one

Rob: What just happened today?

Charlie: No, no, no, I'd never heard that story.

Rob: Well, that's the thing. You don't know what you don't remember?

Glenn: No, he's saying stories that we don't remember-

Rob: It did happen-

Glenn: -that he does.

Rob: Yeah, that he-he told-- you-you know that story.

Charlie: What story was this?

Glenn: Wait, he's talk-- Oh my God.

Charlie: [laughs] I don’t recall this one.

Glenn: BHB.

Charlie: When did this happen? What's BHB?

Glenn: You-you have said--


Charlie: I've never heard this

Rob: I think on every-- It's fascinating to say that you've never heard-- and you-you’re saying that with such confidence you’ve never heard that story before.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: When also, I mean, 30 seconds ago, and once every podcast, you make it very clear that you delete files.

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: Yeah. I did-- No, I've never said that.



Glenn: You know what I really love in that episode, guys, uh, the moment where Kaitlin-- where Sweet Dee throws up through her fingers.

Rob: Oh, God.

Glenn: That's a very specific thing that anyone who's ever gotten a little too drunk or been a little too sick, knows that thing of where you're, like, running to try to get to the fucking toilet on time, you don't quite get there so it just comes right through your fingers.

Charlie: It's a--

Glenn: Aww. It was a good choice.

Charlie: It's a funny thing when we-- whenever we do a scene like that you gotta put a little cream and mushroom soup in your mouth and it's cold and it actually really does make you feel like you're gonna throw up. It makes you feel like you have a mouthful of throw up.

Glenn: Well, it depends on the kind of food you're used to eating. If you are used to eating a diet like I eat, it actually tastes pretty good.

Rob: Is that two or three vomit scenes in this first season?

Glenn: What was the other one?

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: We decided no to do [crosstalk]

Charlie: Uh, the kid vomits.

Glenn: Oh the kid.

Charlie: The kid vomits

Rob: Is there another one? 'Cause I-I think we may have even shot another one and we were like, "What is this, guys? Guys, what are we doing?"

Glenn: Yeah, what are we doing? We're the vomit show.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: We're the poopy, pee pee, and vomit show, but you know what, it's how certain people are going to label us no matter what we do.

Charlie: When people talk about life being like a simulation, you know, it's all one big computer simulation and it's not, uh-- explain to me diarrhea.


Charlie: Like, like, why--

Glenn: Why is that part of the simulation?

Charlie: Yeah, why does somebody want to simulate that? What are they trying to study?

Glenn: It's when they wanna take you down a peg.

Charlie: What are they-- yeah, what are they trying to get outta that?

Glenn: The simulation needs to take you down a peg.

Charlie: They're like, "So I was simulating, uh, Glenn the other day, and I thought I'd-I'd have him run to-- So I gave him those stomach cramps and he, like, ran into the bathroom."

Glenn: Is that the- is that the computer programmer talking or is that the computer?

Charlie: It's whoever's enjoying the simulation.

Glenn: Oh, it's the- oh, it's the overlord who's actually--

Charlie: Yeah, it’s the overlord. So I gave Glenn diarrhea. Oh, you gave Glenn diarrhea? Well, I gave, uh, Charlie diarrhea.

Glenn: Oh, there’s multiple overlords?

Charlie: Yeah. Well, yes.

Glenn: It’s not just one.

Charlie: One person giving everyone diarrhea? Come on.

Glenn: No way, not possible, not possible.

Charlie: It’s the stupidest thing.

Glenn: I got a question for you, guys.

Rob: Oh, I thought we were-- I thought it was just sort of ending

Glenn: Why, and this is for anyone, really, but like, why do people want to see the dead bodies of their loved ones after they die?

Rob: Oh, I understand that.

Charlie: Closure, closure.

Glenn: You can’t close without-- you-- like, I need to see the person that I loved dead and lifeless in order to close that chapter of my life.

Rob: I understand bo-- I understand both-

Glenn: Are you fucking kidding me?

Rob: -sides of that

Glenn: Okay, talk to me. I-I-I find the whole thing so fucking morbid.

Rob: Well, oh, so often--

Charlie: Well, yeah 'cause death is involved.

Rob: Yeah, and so-- [laughs]

Glenn: No, that’s not--


Glenn: No, I-I just--

Rob: I mean, that is the definition of morbid.

Charlie: That would be it, right?

Glenn: I know, I know.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: What were we gonna say?

Rob: Uh, you know, somebody dies suddenly, and yes, your b-brain can accept the fact that li-- that is life and death, and sometimes someone--

Glenn: You need- you need- you need that final image of the dead body burned into your brain so that that's the thing you remember.

Rob: Yes, even though you--

Glenn: That makes sense.

Rob: You can- you can-- [laughs] well, that's what I mean. It's not- it's not an intellectual pursuit. It's an emotional one.

Glenn: Ahh.

Rob: You-you--

Charlie: I mean, I-I--

Glenn: Okay, so it's been a couple days, your friend has died, and you're still so emotional that you're like, "I want the last image of my friend or my loved one to be their lifeless fucking corpse

Charlie: Well, Glenn, what if-

Glenn: -done up like a- like a prom queen."

Charlie: -what if you didn’t see them? What-what if you didn’t see them? What if the moment where they--

Glenn: You’ve seen them before. That's why you’re at the funeral. You've seen them many times. They're your friend, your loved one.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Okay, uh, uh, Glenn, we-we can cut this, but let's say your kid is missing.

Glenn: Okay.

Charlie: Your-your-your child is missing.

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: And then you find out that your child is dead.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Do you not want to see the body?

Glenn: No. Absolutely not. No fucking way, not even-- not in a million years.

Rob: I would say that that takes a lot of discipline. I understand why-

Glenn: It’s not discipline, why do I want to see my kid's dead fucking body?

Rob: Well, again--

Glenn: That seems horrible to me.

Rob: Yes, it is.

Glenn: I don't wanna see that. I don't wanna see that.

Charlie: Maybe I think that the psychology sometimes it's to know that it's real.

Rob: Uh-huh

Charlie: You know, to be like, like, I can't-- it's-- this is so-- such a shocking, tragic thing.

Glenn: I'll have Jill- I'll have Jill look at it. I'll have Jill look at it.


Rob: You put her through it?


Glenn: She likes that kind of thing.

Charlie: Cut this, cut this, cut this, cut this.

Glenn: Cut that, cut that, cut that, cut that, no, seriously dude, cut that shit.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. We'll be- we'll be out before you start talking about it people's--


Glenn: We did it. Did we do it?

Rob: Yeah, we've done the thing.

Glenn: Okay, love you, guys.

Charlie: Bye

Glenn: Bye.


[00:30:21] [END OF AUDIO]


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