The Gang Exploits a Miracle | Always Sunny Podcast – The Always Sunny Podcast
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Episode #15

The Gang Exploits a Miracle

I don't get my Jesus cracker?

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15. The Gang Exploits a Miracle

On the pod, the guys revisit The Gang Exploits a Miracle from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 2, Episode 7.

Rob McElhenney: Now, we had a bi-a bit of a-a different kind of episode last time.

Charlie Day: We did. It was a departure. I think that's probably good, you know?

Rob: Fine on once in a while maybe. I don't know. We'll see if people like it. If they- if they do maybe we'll do more of them, if they don't-

Glenn Howerton: Well I think people-

Rob: -fuck 'em.

Glenn: -come to these podcasts because they wanna learn something-

Rob: Mm.

Glenn: -about life and they wanna learn from us, uh, because they know how wise, wizened-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: -we've- we are.

Rob: Sure.

Glenn: Um, and they trust, uh, anything we say. So you know, we could do-- I-I think it behooves us, and uh, the fans of the podcast to take on a bunch of different subjects, because we could really educate people through this, uh, through this podcast.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: You know what I mean?

Rob: Sure.

Charlie: I tell you what about last week's thing, I was like sort of thinking about the conversation we had, and I felt bad about specifically naming the kid from my high school.

Glenn: Well, we could beep it out.

Charlie: I think maybe we oughta-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: -only because it's like then that's still, then I'm just passing down the bullying.

Rob: Mm.

Charlie: Now, I have the upper hand and I'm slamming down the bullying.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And bullying only stops when someone takes the high road.

Rob: Mm.

Glenn: So you wanna take the high road on that?

Rob: You wanna take the high road? We'll go back and beep them.

Charlie: We'll beep his last name out, leave his first name-

Rob: Okay, great.

Charlie: -beep his last name out. Yeah.

Rob: How are you gonna do that with Brendan McPoyle?

Glenn: Can't do that.

Charlie: Bre-- I love Brendan McPoyle, okay? Brendan McPoyle is--

Glenn: Don't lie.

Charlie: He's my buddy man. I just like I feel bad that--

Glenn: He was.

Charlie: -you know?

Rob: Yeah, he might but to me-

Glenn: He shouldn't be.

Rob: -uh, to me it's like you-you-you're-

Glenn: What's up?

Charlie: Holy shit, Rob. That cat is giant.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: You have a giant cat in your yard.

Rob: I got a big beautiful cat, I love him. I love that cat.

Charlie: What kind of cat is that?

Rob: It's a badass street cat, even though he looks regal and beautiful.

Charlie: Wow.

Rob: I'm not a cat-- Glenn knows I'm not a cat person. I lived with him for years with cats-

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: -and this-this fucking cat, I love this cat.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: What is it with-with the smell of cat shit being a thousand times worse than dog shit?

Glenn: It's not. It's just it's in the house.

Charlie: Oh, maybe that's it.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Your dogs aren't shitting in the house into a litter box like, so you know-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -it smells up the whole fucking–

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: This cat doesn't shit inside anymore.

Glenn: He shits outside?

Rob: He only- he only shits outside.

Charlie: The cats are brown now, which is a line-

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: -from this episode.

Rob: Oh, yes.

Charlie: That's a good segue.

Rob: “The cats are brown now.”


Charlie: So let's talk about, uh--

Rob: Miracle.

Charlie: Mira-- what is the title?

Megan Ganz: The Gang Exploits-

Rob: The Gang Exploits a Miracle.

Charlie: The Gang Exploits a Miracle.

Glenn: Exploits. That's good.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Um, yeah. What do you guys remember about this episode? I mean I-I-- well first of all I mean, most significantly it's the introduction of uh, Rickety Cricket.

Rob: Mm.

Charlie: The- yes.

Glenn: Probably, right? That's probably the most significant thing about it.

Charlie: David Hornsby, I'm sure we've discussed him on this podcast already, uh, who's a brilliant actor and writer, and really been with us from the beginning, uh, you know, giving us tons of funny ideas and-and doing a lot of great writing and--

Glenn: He was the first person to write on the show. I mean we-we tried to like-- We tried to hire out a couple of some people to write scripts so--

Charlie: Well this episode, we did hire two writers.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And they did a pass at this episode, and we used a chunk of their material.

Glenn: Yes.

Rob: Oh, that's right. Right, right. yeah, they were-

Charlie: Chris Romano and Eric Falconer.

Rob: Eric Falconer, right.

Glenn: And I believe uh, maybe I'm remembering this incorrectly, but didn't they come up with the name Rickety Cricket?

Charlie: They might have.

Rob: I-I think they did.

Glenn: Mm. I don't know.

Rob: I think they did.

Charlie: They might have.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: It's possible.

Charlie: They had a lot of funny ideas and they were- they were-

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: -good writers and they were--

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: This was the first time we sort of successfully had someone, uh, you know work with us to-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -to write an episode. Aside from you know David's contributions, uh, earlier.

Rob: Yeah

Glenn: Yeah, well and Hornsby wrote I think the one that we're gonna do next, right? The Gang Runs for Office-

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: -or whatever that one is.

Charlie: Oh, that's right. That's right.

Glenn: I believe he wrote that one yeah so- yeah, I had- I had forgotten that uh, Chris Romano and Eric Falconer wrote for us in season two. I-I thought that the only other person who wrote for us in season two was Hornsby.

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: That's cool. Yeah, no so, uh, it-it's weird though, did you guy-guys notice how like [chuckles] how grounded, uh, David's performance is?

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. Oh, he starts out very--

Rob: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Glenn: He's like a real person.

Rob: He's a real person-

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: -like a real actor playing a real part.

Glenn: Like real- like really good, like watching his perform, I'm like "Damn, he's-he's a really good actor. What happened?"

Rob: Yeah, he just leaned too heavily–.

Glenn: No, I'm joking.

Rob: He leaned too heavily into the bits.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we-we threw away any groundedness by the very next usage of his character I think.

Glenn: Pretty much.

Charlie: He was banging on a garbage can shirtless in the next episode I think.

Glenn: Is that the next ti-- that can't be the next time.

Rob: Wow, that's a big jump.

Charlie: I think that's the- I think that's the next time we see him.

Glenn: Right, it's-it's in the-the, um, the gangster episode or whatever, where he's on the streets, and-

Charlie: Yes.

Glenn: -you guys get him doing cocaine, and shit like that, yeah.

Rob: What I noticed about this episode was that there was like five storylines all happen-- Like every character had a distinct and specific storyline that was separate from the other characters, and they were all- they were all connected obviously in some way, but everybody was sort of off on their own. Well, even, yeah, Mac and Charlie were together-

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: -but each one of them had a different want and need. And I don't know I ca-- I thought that was interesting in how we took each individual character and gave them their own story.

Glenn: I didn't notice that, yeah. That's a tough thing to do with-with only 22 minutes to try to have like, you know, three or four stories. But usually the smallest story just it's like a couple bits.

Charlie: I had a couple-

Glenn: It's kind of like my thing. Like my fasting thing-

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: -in the episode.

Charlie: I found that very amusing. I found the-the stuff between you and- you and me very amusing. I had some real genuine laughs that I sort of was, I think my memory, I remember feeling like, "Yeah, this one's not so great."

Glenn: Yeah same.

Charlie: And then I watched it and really enjoyed it.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Um. Especially the stuff with you and me and-and preaching to those- to the followers.

Glenn: Yeah, you got to do- you got to do some really fun stuff like putting on that big white suit, and you know, the-the song.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Do you guys remember how we came-- I mean, I rem- I remember us like ta-talking about that song, and like joking about the song, but I don't remember where exactly.

Rob: I think almost all of it was improvised. I think- I think that whole section of shoes and the Lord giving you shoes-

Glenn: Oh, that was- that was, yeah.

Rob: -I don't think any of that was scripted.

Glenn: Well, I know it was-- You know how I know it was improvised? Because Charlie is- you can see how amused Charlie is as he is coming up with the whole like shoe thing. You know, trust in God, he'll give you shoes, bit, you could see--

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm laughing.

Rob: He's got a smile.

Charlie: You know I was thinking about that too. I was thinking, you know, "It's funny," right? Like, "Okay, you go do some drama, you're not gonna be amused the whole time," but you're- you know, you get together, you're making a comedy, and you start playing with an area and you find it amusing, you know, and it's-- There's something in that high wire act of like, obviously, we put a lot of hard work, and we take what we do very seriously, and then it's completely not serious to the point where it's almost okay to just be laughing while you're doing it-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -and there's some spark there. I don't know like- I don't know if I can--

Rob: I wonder if like subconsciously, 'cause I see it other shows, right? Where I'm like, "Oh I think that person's laughing." But I think at the end of the day, maybe even subconsciously you're like, "Oh they're having fun doing what they're doing."

Charlie: I think so.

Rob: And I think on a show like this that can be so like acerbic and aggressive and difficult like subject material like to see that we're having fun-

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: -and that we're making fun of the people that we're playing--

Charlie: And I feel like there's like a- there's like, "This could all fall apart at any moment,"-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -kind of a feeling to it, right?

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Which is like it's hanging on by a thread, and that's why it's funny.

Glenn: Yeah, 'cause when you find it-- if you find something as you're like-- as you're standing on that high wire-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -you know, it's-it's-it's really gratifying to know that to-to just know that you've hit on something that's like- that's gonna strike a chord, or at least, that you think is funny.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: I remember distinctly that priest, uh, spitting directly into my face-

Glenn: Oh, I remember that.

Rob: -and how fucking disgusting that was.

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Glenn: I remember that.

Rob: And then- and then we were- we got a little bit into this yesterday, but like how often we have characters spitting into each other's faces?

Charlie: Sure.

Rob: It's a lot.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Like maybe the most in the history of any comedy ever, right? Like 'cause that's not necessarily funny.

Glenn: No, no. It's pretty- it's pretty wildly gross, and like not, you know?

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: It's-- I mean, yeah, so the kid spits in your face in the abortion episode.

Charlie: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: The priest spits in your face. Then we have the 1776 episode where like three or four different people spit in Hornsby's face.

Charlie: Spit in Hornsby's face, yeah.

Glenn: Um, what else? Was there more than that? Am I

Rob: I mean that a-

Charlie: I'm sure- I'm sure a few.

Rob: -that alone-- Hornsby gets his face spit-spat on so many times in that 1776 episode.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: He took it like a champ. He really did. By the end though he was like--

Charlie: It's a runner.

Glenn: "I-I had enough."

Rob: That's enough.

Glenn: He's like, "That's enough guys, come on." Like-like, take after take of it too. Like how many times did that priest sp-spit in your face?

Charlie: I think one.

Glenn: I just--

Charlie: I think that was one-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: -we got it, and uh--

Glenn: Yeah, and it is like--

Charlie: That guy was hilarious.

Rob: I also–Yeah, and I don't know that he was too far off from the character he was playing.

Glenn: No, well-well, I'll tell you something. I had looked him up. Did you guys look him up? He's still alive.

Charlie: No, he is not.

Rob: Wow.

Glenn: He’s still alive.

Charlie: How old is he?

Glenn: Well, I mean, I-I don't know maybe I got looked him up on IMDB, maybe they don't know that he's dead, but, uh, he's-- But he was born in 1930, as I recall, so he was-- he would've been 76 when he made the episode with us, so now--

Charlie: Oh, he looked bad for 76.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: He looked 96.

Rob: Yeah, he didn't look great, yeah.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Oh my God.

Glenn: No, I think he-- No, he's--No I-I-- You're wrong actually 'cause he's like a theater guy. He's like a real-- I think like an acting teacher.

Rob: Maybe he was method.

Glenn: I-- He went real-- yeah, I think he--

Rob: Maybe he was method.

Charlie: Yeah, he was good. I remember him being very, very good. Um, Rhea Pearlman's Father-

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: -is in that episode.

Glenn: Oh, yeah, Phil.

Rob: Phil.

Charlie: Phil, as the guy who says, "I think I'd rather get a blessing from him. He looks a little more--"

Glenn: "He looks a lot more religious than you."


Charlie: Is that the line? Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie: Um--

Glenn: Yeah, he seems- he seems a lot more religious than you.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And he was in Cheers.

Glenn: Many times, right?

Rob: He was many, many times, a recurring character in Cheers, yeah.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah. He's funny though. That was a thrill. He was great.

Glenn: But was he- was he- was he an actor or did--

Rob: No.

Glenn: Or was he just a funny guy and they were like, "Let's put him on Cheers 'cause Rhea's on the show-

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: -and it'll be fun."

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: So he's not an actor at all?

Rob: No. No, I think he was like an accountant-

Glenn: That's great.

Rob: -or something. We should find out exactly-

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: -what he was.

Glenn: Yeah, he's fucking great.

Charlie: You know what we talk a lot about on this show? Uh, religion.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Like a ton.

Glenn: It's 'cause we all grew up.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: It's 'cause we all grew up in religious households. I mean you grew up Catholic-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -although you-you were- you-your parents weren't like hardcore Catholics though, right? You just--

Charlie: No.

Glenn: -they just were Catholic.

Charlie: No, I went to every Sunday. I did all the--

Glenn: Oh, so they were?

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Okay a-and then and obviously you're well, your dad was pretty religious right?

Rob: Yeah, it's all very confusing. I definitely grew up Catholic going to Catholic School all the way through-

Glenn: But did you did you go to church every weekend?

Rob: We sort of waxed and waned.

Glenn: Did you go to church every Sunday?

Rob: Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, every Sunday.

Glenn: Every Sunday, every Sunday school?

Rob: Uh, no, we didn't have to go to Sunday School because we went to Monday through Friday school.

Glenn: Oh right.

Rob: Where we got the Catholic beaten right into us.

Glenn: Right, right. Yeah, and I grew up Methodist Church every Sunday, Sunday School. I mean Church was like in-in our lives like, the Church we went to in Montgomery Alabama was, I mean it was huge. It was one of those like-- It was like a megachurch before there were really a lot of megachurches, you know?

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: They even had, I think they had their own show but it wasn't like-- It wasn't as big as like the Joel Osteen type thing, or anything like that. But it was, but for the area I mean it was- it was huge, and so like the youth- the youth group aspect, they had a youth group, and that whole aspect of it was so fun. I mean we had a full--

Rob: Yeah that's when you went to the camp.

Glenn: We had a full court basketball court, we had like, you know, all kind of games and stuff. They were always put- like putting together activities and stuff, you know. So I spent a lot of time, you know--

Rob: I think the major difference that I see is like the vast majority, for better or for worse it seems like more people from like that part that like section of the country, that like Methodist born again, they truly believe.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And I feel like I was just surrounded by people who didn't-

Glenn: Right.

Rob: -but they just go because that's what their parents did, and their grandparents did, and their parents before that. I didn't-- There wasn't a lot of like dialogue really. It was just like, this is what you do.

Charlie: I feel like it’s the Catholic thing, you can just kind of like check in and check out. There’s a lot more than that.

Rob: Yeah. It becomes like a- a part of your identity, but it's not really like something you're-

Glenn: Right.

Rob: You're actively engaging in.

Charlie: But there's less of the social thing of like--

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Explain this to me. So, lots of battles, bloody, bloody wars-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -hatred, pointing fingers between you know a Protestant and Catholic let's say in Ireland uh, or just like Baptists--

Glenn: They went a lot further than pointing fingers at each other.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pointing all sorts of things.

Glenn: Pointing guns and--

Charlie: Yeah, pointing things that explode. Uh, that's just, it's, it's just fucking bananas.

Glenn: It is bananas.

Charlie: It's the same religion.

Glenn: Well yeah.

Charlie: It's the same God but you're-you're like--

Glenn: Well, you guys are obsessed with the Virgin Mary. What is that? Right? We're not obsessed with that, with her, uh, over-over in the Protestants. I mean we like her. You know, we recognize her contribution.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Uh, but there's a whole thing with the virgin.

Rob: I think you hate women more as a culture than-- I'm not sure what was it that? They said that the savior is a man.

Glenn: No, no. We only hate women who try to act like they're equal to men.

Rob: Ah, right.

Charlie: Okay okay that's--

Glenn: The women who know their place, we don't hate them.

Rob: Got it, got it, got it.

Glenn: We love them deeply.

Charlie: Right, right.

Glenn: So as long as you know your place, you're good. You're good with the Protestants, um, but yeah w-what's the deal, like what is it about like I-I w-what is it, in you guys' mind-

Charlie: What is it about the person who gave birth to God?

Glenn: Yeah no–

Rob: I'm sorry--

Charlie: Is that your--? "What is is about this person?"

Rob: She didn't even have to get fucked to do so.

Glenn: Yeah right, right.

Rob: Like think about that.

Glenn: Oh, that's it, that-that goes back to the thing with my, with my grandmother how she said she'd never been with a man in spite of the fact that her daughter, my mother was there to see her at the nursing home.

Charlie: God bless.

Rob: Yeah. yeah.

Glenn: Uh, so she saw herself in that same way, um, right.

Charlie: I did sleep in a bucket of sperm one night, and I believe that's maybe how yeah.

Glenn: It soaked in. Yeah, it soaked in.

Charlie: Yeah, it could have happened that way.


Glenn: Rob, I'll pop this question to you-

Rob: Sure.

Glenn: -since you already asked a question Charlie, like what is the pro- what are the pro- like what are the things that separate Catholicism from Protestantism, like-

Charlie: Well, I'll tell you right, there was a guy named Martin Luther, and he was all up in arms about people paying to go to heaven.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And there was, I forget what that, there was a fancy term for, do you remember the term for those things were Rob, it's like--

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: I think it's like--

Charlie: It's- its sounds like reparations or something.

Glenn: Yeah, whoa, whoa.

Charlie: But it's not that it's--

Glenn: No.


Charlie: But anyway so he's all- he's- he's getting pissed about this and he goes and he, and he writes sort of like a list, and he hammers it on a door in a church somewhere.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: And the list is like, "No we don't need to have, uh, crucifixes in the church. And we don't need all this ornamentation. And we don't need to pay to go to heaven." And this whole trans-transubstiation thing where the- where the cracker actually turns into Jesus. No, that can be a metaphor and you guys, you guys are focusing on the wrong things. Let's focus on the real sort of like, uh, more pious things."

Glenn: Yeah, was he objecting, was he also like objecting to like the, the sort of the hierarchy? The-the whole like, you know, just Bishops and Cardinals, and all these motherfuckers that are like, "Who are these fucking people?" Like I can have a direct relationship with Jesus Christ that's got nothing to do with the Catholic Church.

Charlie: Possibly.

Glenn: And everyone was like-

Charlie: And I think what sort of happened was, people saw that pamphlet, and then there was an uproar. He- I think he was probably killed. I'm not a historian so--


Glenn: Are you not? Are you not?

Charlie: But-but then you know then I don't know then at some point England was like, "Actually I think- I dig- I dig his way." And then there was all sorts of bloody wars and-and--

Rob: Well I think that's, so what's interesting about Catholic School is like, we didn't really learn. We knew that that guy existed, Martin Luther right, but it was like, "Well he's a heathen, we don't really talk about it."

Glenn: Right, he-he who shall not be named.

Rob: And-and we-we had classes, right, called, "Religion Class."

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: It was called, "Religion."

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And then you would go you sit there, and it would be Catholicism.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And then even at like 14 you'd be like, "Well this is a religion."

Glenn: Right right.

Rob: And they're like, "No no this is the religion." And you wouldn't learn about anything else. Anything except for Roman Catholicism.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Which was very specific.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: So when you get into like the nitty gritty of like other versions of Christianity, I have no clue.

Glenn: You don't know, yeah.

Rob: No idea, other than like talking to you, or talking to Charlie or talking--

Glenn: I guess I don't really either because I-I only went to Catholic Church one time with a friend of mine, and I remember being-- [chuckles] I remember all the-- This is why when we did that with the-the episode where we were like constantly standing and kneeling.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Uh, it was like I remember bringing this up to you guys back then, um, because the one experience that I had was like, we were constantly standing and kneeling, and everyone knew when to do it.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: And I was like "What the fuck is this?"

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Like why are we constantly standing and kneeling? And I didn't get it. And then when they went up to take uh, communion, um, they were like, "Mm, why don't you- why don't you just stay here?"

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Like they didn't let me take communion.

Rob: Correct.

Glenn: And I was like, "Fuck these people."

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Like, "What?

Charlie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Glenn: I don't get my Jesus cracker?"

Charlie: No, man no.

Rob: No.

Glenn: The fuck?

Rob: No,

Charlie: No man, no. You haven't gone through the steps.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: I-I wanna get--

Glenn: Sorry what are the steps? There are steps?

Rob: Well–

Charlie: Oh yeah there's the educational thing.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: And then first there's baptism, and then there's confirmation.

Rob: Yeah, you weren't-- Oh, you were Baptized.

Glenn: I was Baptized.

Rob: But you weren't Baptized Catholic.

Glenn: No.

Rob: Well, you're fucked.

Charlie: Oh you're gonna go to hell no matter what.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Unless--

Glenn: Well, if there is a Hell, yeah.

Charlie: Unless, on your death- on your death bed-

Rob: Unless at the very end.

Charlie: -you have enough time to be like, "My bad.”

Glenn: “Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior."

Charlie: Yeah basically, and then you're good.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah. No, I got both. I went to both Catholic, my dad went to a Catholic church in town.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: And my mom went to the Protestant church.

Rob: Oh, right that's right, yes, yes.

Charlie: That-that her mother and I guess father went to.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Boy. Ooof.

Charlie: Uh, so every now and then I got to go dabble in-in the Protestant thing too.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: I didn't care for it though. It was a lot more kind of hippy dippy.

Rob: Oh you like your shit.

Glenn: Oh that's so weird.

Rob: Conservative.

Charlie: No I like my shit like, "Don't bother me. Let me come in and do the kneeling, standing, eat the cracker, and get outta here." I don't wanna--

Rob: Now that was what we saw a lot of Roman Catholicism.

Charlie: Yeah

Rob: It was like, hey, you just show up, you go to the shortest mass, whatever like we know there's a priest that does--

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: -like a 25 minute mass. That's the one you do.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: You get in, you get out. Everybody's happy, right?

Charlie: Yeah. I don't wanna do the whole like-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: -bake sale, and then we're gonna be holding hands and singing like-- None of that shit.

Glenn: Oh, Methodist it's, uh, it's a, it's a life, it's a lifestyle.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: It is. It is for some people.

Rob: But there's some value in that 'cause that's-

Glenn: Sure.

Rob: -the whole community aspect of it.

Glenn: That's right.

Rob: And that's the thing that's like I think that is strange and difficult, and we've talked about this a little bit already, but it's probably the reason why it keeps coming back up on the show, is that it's very confusing.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: For me personally, because the Catholic church has also done amazing things for the world and for me personally.

Glenn: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Rob: But like my schooling, my education.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: -going through Jesuit, well I've talked about this like quite a bit. But like my Jesuit edu-education is like truly who made me who-who I am today. So it's really-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: -I have this like very odd relationship with them.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: It's a tricky thing right, because like you said, tons of good all around the world done all the time, and tons of bad, and tons of people taking advantage of it, and twisting it, and-and also the fact that it-it sort of, it needs to feed the beast like any other religion, or cult you know, where everyone's like, "No we need more people." "We need more money." Like, it's tricky.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: It's tricky.

Rob: Yeah and so I remember at the time there was a whole, and it continues to this day, but there was like a year where people were seeing the Virgin Mary all over the place.

Glenn: Oh yeah, yeah.

Rob: All over the place.

Glenn: There was like a Virgin Mary in a piece of toast at one point. Remember that shit?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Somebody toasted and--

Charlie: Have you guys had any visions like ghosts, or like anything, anything of the spiritual realm that you feel like--

Glenn: I had a- I had a really crazy experience once in my apartment in New York, um, that scared me beyond belief.

Rob: Mm.

Charlie: Go.

Rob: Go.

Glenn: So, so I was asleep or half- in that sort of like half asleep-- No, no, no, I was, this is what it was. I was asleep, and-but in my dream I could see myself in my bed asleep, and there was this dark amorphous thing floating through the air, floating in, and it floated into my room and I could watch it but I couldn't, and I was like trying to wake up 'cause I knew I was asleep, But I couldn't wake up. And-and I was like, frozen.

It was one of those things where you're like paralyzed in your sleep, and it just, and it- and it was getting closer. And as it got closer, there was this, like, humming noise. It was like [humming noise]. I mean, it was freaky as fuck. And then it was just hovering directly over me, just like- just like fuck, this dark-dark-dark energy or whatever the fuck it was. And then I remember I was finally able to open my eyes and when I opened my eyes, it was still there.

And then it-it-it-- the sound went [humming noise] and like, it-it like dissipated and went away. But like, when I fucking opened my eyes, it was still there. It-- I mean, again, probably all in my head, but still, it was- [laughs] it was one of the scary-- It's-it is the scariest thing that I've ever experienced in my entire life. I don't know what the hell was going on there. It was an old building. They-they tore it down.

Charlie: Were you mildly aroused as well? I mean.

Rob: It could have been the night man.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Could have been the--

Rob: Sounds like the night man.

Charlie: 'Cause there's-there's a ghostbuster situation there, with Dan Aykroyd sleeping-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -and then all of a sudden the ghost hovers over him. Then suddenly-

Rob: Mm.

Charlie: -his-his pants unbuckle. I was watching that with my son, when he was much too young to, well he's still too young. And we get to that scene, he goes, "Daddy, what's happening?"

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And you know, Dan Aykroyd's getting a blowjob from the ghost. And I go, "Uh, Russell, he's-he's chasing ghosts so much that he's- that he's having dreams they're getting him dressed for school."


Charlie: Russell’s like, "That checks out."


Charlie: He was like, "Because I thought was getting a blow job, dad, but, All right. Okay."

Glenn: Okay. “You said he was getting dressed, but yeah, he seems way too happy about it.”

Charlie: “He sure is enjoying getting dressed for school.” [laughs]

Rob: I just had to deal with this last week because I, we should talk, we-we could do a whole podcast on introducing the show, our show to our kids.

Glenn: Mm.

Rob: But-but I took Leo to the mix and-and that's an audio mix and I thought, "I dunno, it's gonna be fun. Go see what dad does." And I didn't even look at the episode, but in the episode, I won't give anything away because we've done this a million times. Dennis is bedding a woman-

Glenn: Mm.

Rob: -and we have a very specific shot.

Glenn: Oh God.

Rob: Dennis is like streaming as he's--

Charlie: How'd that go?

Rob: Yeah. And he just turned to me and was like in the mix. He's like, "What is that?" And I was like, "He's doing pushups."


Rob: And Dennis, you see Dennis has like-- Glenn's got a great body.

Glenn: Thank you.

Rob: And we have to justify it by making Dennis do exercise.

Glenn: We have to justify it. [laughs]

Rob: And he was like, "Oh."

Charlie: Let me ask you a question.

Rob: “Exercise.”

Charlie: How-how old-- How? Nine? He's nine?

Glenn: Why is there a woman--?

Rob: Old enough for him to be like, "Mm."

Glenn: Yeah. There's a woman screaming--

Rob: Mm, there's something else going on.

Charlie: I mean, at what- at what point? It's probably most people listening are like, "Uh, yeah. It like three years ago." Do you- do you like, explain sex and be like–

Rob: They've, I've already--

Glenn: They're teaching-

Rob: -the conversation with Axel who's 11.

Glenn: I think they're-- I mean they-they start teaching sex ed at-at-

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: -at-at our, the school that, uh, mine and Rob's kids go to.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Um, at a pretty early age. I mean they, I--

Rob: They're breaking the- they're-they're breaking the ice. Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: But-but I've had- but I've had to sit down like, "Let's talk about it."

Charlie: What is the church's stance on sex these days? Is it still, "Hey, just don't do it." Um-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Is it-- Are-are they still furious if you use a condom, or have they lightened up on that?

Glenn: That's a Catholic thing.

Charlie: That's a Catholic thing, right? It was. Right. It was like an abstinence was the only--

Rob: I-I still believe that birth control is problematic for them. Yeah.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: As is abortion. And that was always the rub.

Charlie: Okay. I won't touch abortion yet, but let's just start with birth control. How are you gonna have a problem with that? I just--

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Because sex is, sex is solely for procreation.

Glenn: Yes. For procreation.

Charlie: Oh, sex is solely for–

Rob: And you can- and enjoying it is a byproduct.

Glenn: Yes.

Rob: But-but is-- but it is something that is blessed by God. This is for God, not for you.

Glenn: Right.

Rob: The two of you to enjoy.

Glenn: Right, but also like the-the Catholic church wants you to make more little Catholics. You know what I mean?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: It's like they-they-they want more of-of them. You know? It makes the cult stronger.

Charlie: Can you imagine that that information's first getting out to people where it was like, "We will love each other like our brothers?" "Ah, yeah. Yeah." "Only the poor and the meek show inherit the earth." "Ah, yeah, yeah." "Sex is really bad and we won't do it anymore."

Glenn: “Oh, wait-wait-wait. Whoa.”

Charlie: “Are you sure?” [laughs]

Glenn: “Wait-wait-wait-wait.”

Charlie: “Yes. Quite sure. All sex? Uh, yes. What about anal sex? No, very bad- very bad. We're going to destroy whole city where they're doing that nonstop.”

Glenn: [Noise]

Charlie: “A hand job? Still not good- not good.”

Glenn: “Not great- not great.”

Charlie: “Masturbation? No-no masturbation, [laughs]. None of this- none of this.”

Rob: Well I do know, yeah, masturbation is problematic-

Glenn: “You're taking away the only–”

Rob: -because you're taking the seed and you're- and you're killing the-the-the seed of the, you know, from God.

Charlie: I remember the specific thing, like your seed was not supposed to touch the ground.

Rob: Right.

Charlie: Like if it- if it hit the--

Glenn: Oh boy.

Rob: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah-well.

Glenn: Well, my seed never touches the ground. I try to avoid letting it touch the ground to this day.

Charlie: “What if it touches a cup? Or a sock?”


Charlie: “Get land and a river, [laughs] or stream.”

Rob: That may have been the only time where women felt pretty good to be excluded from the conversation altogether.

Glenn: Uh-huh.

Rob: 'Cause it was like, "Well I guess we can just keep doing it. They're not even mentioning us.

Glenn: Right.

Rob: 'Cause we don't even matter enough.

Glenn: We can doodle our self stupid.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. 'Cause they're not even, yeah.

Rob: Absolutely.

Glenn: Yeah. That's fun.

Rob: Well, speaking of--

Charlie: “Next men, women are your property. Ooh. Damn. So close.”

Glenn: Yeah.

Glenn: “Okay, well I like that one.”

Charlie: “Well that works. But I can't have sex with them? No.”[laughs]

Rob: Well you can, but they gotta get pregnant. And if they don't--

Charlie: But you must make babies.

Rob: Yeah. Then the women are like, "Goddammit."

Glenn: Well, I'll tell you guys, uh, something that, uh, on the surface is sexual, but uh, you know, it-it really isn't sexual. It's just about, uh, you know, humiliation in comedy and that's putting someone's balls-

Rob: Oh.

Glenn: -on uh, on someone else's chin.

Rob: Okay, let's talk about that.

Glenn: Or-or-or, so the-the network, we originally in the script it was, uh, that we teabagged him, right?

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: 'Cause that's, uh, uh, for those of you who aren't familiar with that expression, if you're listening to the podcast, you probably are.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Uh, teabagging is where you dip your balls-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: -into someone's mouth. Uh, as one would a teabag.

Rob: And an unconscious person. And by the way--

Charlie: No-no-no. That doesn't have, this episode's unconscious. But you could teabag a conscious person. I'm perfectly sure.

Glenn: You could have if they were willing.

Rob: If that was a sexual willing.

Charlie: “Can we teabag-”


Charlie: -each other? Yes, that's fine-”

Glenn: “That's fine. That's fine as long as it's only for comedy.” [laughs]

Charlie: “If it's done for comedic purposes, then it's fine.”

Glenn: “Thank you.”

Rob: Both of my kids have asked me what teabagging is because that's a popular video game. There's a video game out there that where they're teabagging each other.

Charlie: Wait, what?

Rob: The game.

Glenn: What game are you letting your kids play?

Rob: Uh, Fortnite.

Charlie: Oh, do-- you should get them off that crap. What are you doing?

Rob: In Fortnite. Uh, they don't play it anymore. But there was a period two years ago. [laughs]

Charlie: They were just teabagging their classmates.

Rob: And yeah, they teabag each other, when-when there's a dead body, they like basically crouch over it, and they call it teabagging. And so I had to explain what that is. And you know, this-- Megan and I were talking about this yesterday. Like this is where there's this very specific, um, and dangerous gray line, that is very specific to men and not, and does not cross over into women. Where it is theoretically funny to have a-a friend who's asleep, and you put your-

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: -dick or balls onto his head or face.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Because he might wake up. Now I would never do this to Glenn, for example. You gotta know the audience, 'cause he's not gonna find it funny. I don't think Charlie would either. But I know many guys, especially when I was 15, 16-

Glenn: Uh-huh.

Rob: -you know, 17, where if that happened to you, you didn't feel violated. You didn't feel assaulted. Right? 'Cause, that's sexual assault.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: I mean legitimately sexual-sexual assault. But-but wait--

Charlie: Come on-- I think--

Rob: Oh yeah? What happens if Megan's passed out right now? And we're like--?

Charlie: That's sexual assault, but if you pass out and I put my balls--

Rob: That's the point I'm trying to make.

Charlie: And we take a picture.

Rob: That's the point I'm trying to make.

Charlie: That's just hilarious.

Rob: That's the point I'm trying to make, which is that there is a difference-

Glenn: Right.

Rob: -between doing that to, but you still have to recognize that it's a willing participant, meaning it's your buddy.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And he's gonna wake up and be like, "Oh, they got me, now I-I can like get him."

Glenn: No--

Rob: But it can't be some stranger that you're doing it to. You're sticking your genitals into his mouth.

Glenn: That's what I'm saying, yeah. Like what if he- what if it was, there were something called-

Charlie: First of all--

Glenn: -called plumbing. You know what I mean? It was like to plumb someone.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: And-and you enter their, you know, anus while they're asleep.

Rob: Sure.

Glenn: You know, uh-

Rob: It's the same.

Glenn: -for comedy.

Rob: It's the same thing for comedy reasons. It's not sexual, it's funny,

Glenn: It's funny. You got plumbed.

Charlie: I will say is a bizarre thing to actually do. Like talking about it in a vacuum is one thing. But like I would- I would never be like, "Hey, this is gonna be really funny when I put my genitalia into this guy's mouth." [laughs].

Glenn: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: Like, no. But I-I don't think we-- I ever even did that in high school.

Charlie: I also never saw anyone do it.

Rob: The closest thing- the-the closest thing I can think is like, we had a thing where if you were sitting and your back was to people, like every once in a while you'd look over and there was a dick on your shoulder.


Rob: A dick or-or like a ball, dick, and balls on your shoulder.

Glenn: That's pretty good.

Rob: Yeah. And we would never, ever, even at 16, we would never do that to like one of our girlfriends or a woman.

Glenn: Right.

Rob: 'Cause we knew that that was, even at 15, 16, that-that was inappropriate. But for dudes, like every once in a while you'd just be sitting there, and you'd feel something, and you knew, you could feel a presence behind you. And then you knew was, you knew what was there.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And then you had to get it, you had to slap it as fast as you could before the guy knew-

Glenn: Pulled it away.

Rob: -that it was coming. Yeah.

Glenn: Oh that's-that's a good- that's a good- that's a good comeback to that. Right? To slap the penis.

Rob: Oh yeah. You're gonna-- And that's why the balls stopped coming.

Glenn: Yeah. Right.

Rob: So the penis, you-you catch a penis with a- with a-- okay, you can get over that.

Glenn: That's gonna sting, but it's not gonna--

Rob: But if you get the-the whole nut sack, that's painful.

Glenn: Very painful. Yeah. Ouch.

Charlie: That's, um, now me and my buddies were not doing that to each other.

Glenn: No. We weren't doing that either. We weren't doing that. We don't do that in the south.

Charlie: I mean the way like, uh-- [chuckles]

Rob: So that was just like a Philly thing.

Charlie: That was just yeah, you and your homoerotic friends.


Charlie: I'd say-- I mean sometimes, you know, like a good, draw a good mustache on somebody with a Sharpie.

Glenn: Sure.

Charlie: That kind of gag. Yeah.

Glenn: Sure.

Charlie: You know, but we're-

Rob: We had different kinds of friends I think.

Glenn: Sure. Yeah. Well, I-- But I wanna tell-- So I do wanna talk about this 'cause I remember us finding this so perplexing, that the-the network would not let us say teabagging on the show.

Charlie: Oh yeah, yeah.

Glenn: So we had- so [chuckles] we submitted “balls to the chin” to them.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: And they were like, "Yeah that's fine."

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: What a strange thing, like, uh--

Glenn: So strange.

Charlie: Who writes the rules?

Glenn: I guess the idea is maybe one's less offensive, because you haven't entered the person's mouth, technically you've just put your balls on their chin? And that's like slightly less offensive somehow? I don't know. Now I think if we wanted to put teabagging in the show they wouldn't give a shit.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: They would definitely let us put it now, right?

Rob: Yeah right.

Charlie: It is crazy as a society how, and this must go back to like a puritanical thing just from the roots of the country. But like, you know, because we were escaping, uh, religion and, yeah, for stricter religion. We were coming here and being like, "No we wanna be more strict about religion." And, why, I mean, like our most popular movies are extraordinarily violent with people getting shot and blown up.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: And like if you saw someone's penis, like that's-that's way too far. That's taking things too far. What? That's crazy, right? How did we- how did we come to this? Now I'd rather maybe see violence in a movie-

Glenn: I don't know.

Charlie: -than a bunch of dicks but-- [laughs]

Rob: But not, but not everybody. I know lots of people who would rather see dicks than violence.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: Yeah. But it depends on the movie. It depends on the movie.

Glenn: Right.


Glenn: So there are [laughs] there is a type of movie, right there's a type of movie that you would like to watch that has dicks, just all over.

Charlie: How are you gonna give me Magic Mike without the dicks? You know what I mean like?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Right, right.

Charlie: That doesn't feel very magic to me.

Rob: I enjoy looking at a dick. I-I like a-

Charlie: I don't have a problem, I don't have a problem looking at anything.

Glenn: Okay.

Rob: Great, well we've established that.

Glenn: That's great guys. That's great.

Charlie: Well I'm just saying it doesn't seem right. It seems like uh, you know, religion got in the way.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Of-of us viewing dicks, especially dicks for comedy.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Dicks and comedy, that's definitely funny.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: It used to be that male nudity immediately elicited a, uh, uh, an X rating.

Glenn: Rated X yeah.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And now I believe finally that's been eradicated, but-but an erect male penis I think might still get you.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Might still get you that, that, that X.

Glenn: Right.

Rob: Which I-I don't get it.

Glenn: Well it's the- it's the, you know, the-the state of ecstasy that the man is either in or not in that determines the rating.


Glenn: Yeah, I don't know.

Charlie: I guess it's to keep our, it's for the same reason why we're like dancing around the topic with our kids. You know, it's like we gotta put an X on this, so no kids stumble into seeing these-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -penises and vaginas.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: I don't know. I feel like the rules were made up by men at a certain point. Certainly like the MPAA. It was just a group of dudes who were like, "It's okay to see women naked, like we can exploit women that's fine.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: That's, that's no problem."

Charlie: But you can't really see vaginas though? Like I think that would get-

Rob: Oh yes you can.

Charlie: -that would get you an X rating.

Rob: No fucking way. The entire '80s,

Glenn: Yeah, in the '80s. Yeah.

Rob: The entire '80s it was like, it was just bush, after bush, after bush.

Charlie: You're seeing pubic hair, but you're not seeing the vagina itself right? You're like-- [laughs]

Rob: Do you mean if someone's [laughs] taking the hair and splitting it to get-

Charlie: Yeah yeah just-

Rob: Oh.

Charlie: -the same way that if, that if a guy was running around with nothing but a giant bush of pubes [laughs] and you couldn't see the guy's penis, they'd probably be like, "Yeah okay that's funny." [laughs] They'd be like, "That-that works." You know? But if e-even a little bit of penis peeks out of that-that bush there, we’re getting you know.

Glenn: Yeah that's no good.

Charlie: We gotta slap a new rating on this thing altogether.


Glenn: Well what else about this episode? I mean we've talked about my-my weird, uh, diet.

Rob: The diet, we've already discussed the diet.

Glenn: Yeah we talked about that right?

Rob: And this is the episode where we really leaned.

Charlie: That's why we wrote-

Rob: Into it.

Charlie: -we wrote, decided to write to it.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah, yeah.

Charlie: Um--

Megan: How'd you fall off of the bar stool?

Rob: Oh yeah. Oh that's a great stunt. That's a great stunt.

Charlie: Oh yeah, you fainted off that bar stool.

Rob: You fainted off that bar stool. Yeah that's some stagecraft.

Glenn: Yeah uh, I don't know. I think uh, just that that's sort of like a younger man's- a younger man's game, you know what I mean? Like if I was asked to do that now I'd be like, "Oof goddamn that's gonna really hurt." Like I think back then I was like, "Oh yeah I can do that. That'll be fun." Like I thought-

Rob: You nailed it.

Glenn: -it would be fun. And it was. I don't know. It did look real though, my-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: The trick right is to not- to not like put your hands out.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Like that was the tricky thing about it I remember. But I don't know. I don't know. Ah it's beginning like I hurt my shoulder man, I don't know.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: I slept on it weird or something. My right shoulder's fucked up. And that's just from sleeping on it. Imagine what would happen if I fell off a bar stool now?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Oh God In heaven. Oof, everything just hurts more these days guys, you know?

Charlie: Yeah I'm all banged up.

Glenn: Ah God damn.

Rob: Podcast brought to you by--

Charlie: Well you're fine. You're fine, said you attributed it to the ice baths that you take?

Rob: I attribute-- I have no real chronic physical issues. I think I have good genetics. My dad doesn't really, and-and also I don't know, never being an athlete ever. Like you spent years-

Charlie: Not wearing down a specific joint.

Rob: Yeah, yes. You spent years and years and years wearing down very specific joints doing all the, even if it was in your youth, like-

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: You know, and for 10, 12, I never did any of that.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: I also find that almost every acting thing that I do, whether it's on Sunny, or any of the other projects I've gotten to do, I'm going through a lot of like slamming into things and, you know?

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: Just like it's very physical.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah when it comes to like the physical comedy stuff where you have to really like you get, and that shit really like I think people think, like there is a way to do all those things, all those stunts and things like, "safely." But that doesn't mean you're not getting hurt. You are getting fucking hurt.

Charlie: Oh yeah.

Glenn: You're just not like breaking a bone ideally, or you know, something worse than that. But like, you know, when, uh, when you fall off of something, or you gets slammed into a wall, it fucking hurts.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: It fucking hurts. You get bruised up, you get beat up I mean.

Charlie: When we did Fist Fight, you know, I'm not playing a guy who's supposed to look like Rocky Balboa in his prime right? I'm not-- I'm playing-

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: -the nerdy guy who doesn't want to be in the fight. And so obviously I'm not like ripped and in amazing fighting shape. And we shot that fight for like a week straight. So you're doing like 14 hour days, all day, every day-

Glenn: Just-

Charlie: -just you know. And Ice Cube is not a stunt man. So sometimes when he goes to throw you into a school bus, he overshoots it, and you go slamming into the school bus, you know? And I got sciatica on that. Like I couldn't feel my foot. It was crazy, it was crazy.

Glenn: Oof wow.

Rob: Well I can remember like, so I'm watching a lot of football now, soccer in the US, and I'm so used to watching it on TV, and it looks like their guys are always flopping and they're like, "Oh man I mean get the fuck up." They're all faking it. And when you go and see it live in person, like on the field, you see how hard they're smashing into each other.

Glenn: Oh it's brutal.

Rob: It's brutal.

Glenn: Brutal.

Rob: And so I was asking them about like, "What does it feel like when somebody's like you know, you're running at each other," and I've heard this from a lot of professional athletes they say, "You know the big hits aren't the big things. It's like the small things you weren't expecting." And I remember the biggest, I think the worst injury you ever had Charlie--

Glenn: You broke a rib.

Rob: On Sunny. Yeah was that time, well no you didn't break it, you bruised it, right? You landed on your elbow--

Charlie: I got like a hairline fracture and it, and-and bruised it.

Rob: And yeah. And like I remember it was lingering for like eight months. 'Cause I remember the doctors were like it almost would've been better if you cracked it completely 'cause it could heal-

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: -otherwise it couldn't heal. And I remember you were in pain for like forever.

Glenn: A long time.

Charlie: It's those little nagging things, yeah.

Glenn: That was from- that was from the snowblower in the Christmas episode

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Where we did a-

Rob: And that was just-

Glenn: We all did a stunt.

Rob: Yeah well you just jumped into the air, and you just happened to land-

Charlie: I missed the mat.

Glenn: Oof.

Charlie: I missed the fall mat. So there was a fall mat, but there was so much like snow blowing I couldn't really get a sense. So I jumped as high as I could in the air, curled my back into a ball, and then just came right down on the ground.

Rob: Ah, ugh God damn.

Charlie: And then I was like "Ooh that hurt." But the shot was still going, so I did it again and I missed again.

Rob: Oh. [laughs]

Charlie: And I went to the hospital like, I think a few hours later, and Danny went with me being like, "I don't know. I'll help you like get in." I think I mentioned this on the podcast before.

Rob: I'll help you get in.

Glenn: I can get you in.

Charlie: I'll get you to a guy.

Glenn: I know the doorman.

Charlie: I'll get you in. And the nurse had no idea who he was.

Rob: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were saying that.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: What? The nurse didn't know–

Charlie: No.

Glenn: –who Danny DeVito was?

Charlie: No.

Rob: We talked about this on the podcast.

Charlie: We did. We did.

Glenn: No we didn't.

Charlie: We didn't?

Rob: Yes we did.

Charlie: Oh maybe we just talked about it in the editing room.

Rob: Yes we did. We talked about it.

Glenn: No we didn't.

Charlie: We did.

Rob: We talked about this on the podcast.

Glenn: Not when I was here.

Rob: Okay Meg?

Megan: No you didn't.

Rob: Okay.

Charlie: Megan says no, and she's listened to them all.

Glenn: She's edited the episodes. I'm telling you right now we did not. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Rob: Were we in the editing room talking about it? I think we were talking on the podcast.

Glenn: You guys might have talked-

Charlie: I feel like we talked about it. So I felt weird bringing it up. 'Cause look I think I'm repeating myself here.

Glenn: You definitely, definitely, definitely 100% did not talk about it in the podcast.

Rob: It was under the-- It was the conversation we were having was whether or not people like knew the show.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And how weird it was that people like, it has been on for 15 years and people were like, "What's that?" "I haven't heard of that." And then you told the story about Danny. But maybe it was just the two of us.

Charlie: Yeah it might have been.

Glenn: You guys were probably in editing you know?

Charlie: It might have been. Let ask you guys this, did you eat breakfast today?

Glenn: No.

Rob: Yes. I've eaten twice. You guys haven't eaten today?

Glenn: No.

Charlie: I haven't-

Rob: Maybe this is-- I haven't- I have eaten two times.

Charlie: No, I haven't- I haven't eaten today, but I normally would have, but we didn't go to the office, and then I was in the car and--

Glenn: It was- it was a weird- it's a weird time 'cause I usually eat around like 11:30, so I'm gonna- I'm gonna overshoot that, but uh, but I could, I-I cannot eat until noon, one o'clock, something like that.

Rob: Wow.

Charlie: I got here a little bit early, because I just went straight from dropping my kid to school over, and then I was like, "Oh, maybe I'll just find like a little restaurant near you," but there's so much traffic around your house that I was like, "I'm just gonna go park on the street, and do some calls and emails and things." But I should have- I should have gone to a little restaurant, or should have gone to In-N-Out Burger and uh, try to cut the line-

Glenn: It's-it's very similar.

Rob: What?

Charlie: I should go to In-N-Out Burger and try to cut the line.

Rob: We should go out. We should go for lunch, see if anybody's-- See if anything's popping off over there.

Glenn: Oh boy.

Charlie: We are sitting on a miniature set of Paddy's Pub, I should bring this up.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: I-I think it's maybe like so uh, it was in our office, and we got rid of that office and you- and they were like, "What do you wanna do with it?" And Rob you said, "Oh, I'll take it. I'll put it up in my- in my home," in my- in my uh, whatever you wanna call this, little side office. Why did we build this? I have-- Did we just build it for fun?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. We just, we were de-- We-we got those offices. We knew they were gonna be year round offices. We were gonna, we were under a deal, and we were like, "Let's make it nice," you know? We put a little-

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah.

Glenn: -we put like a little, I think we were also like, you'd-you'd see like images, you'd see like the South Park offices, or like the Simpsons offices, or like any like long running comedy show, and there were always like-

Rob: Just cool, yeah.

Glenn: -ping pong tables and putting greens, and like all this cool fun shit. You know what I mean? And we were like, "We should do that." And so, we put in like a little- we put in a little putting green--

Charlie: And yet I feel like-

Rob: We didn't use any of it.

Glenn: We used the ping pong table.

Rob: We-we put, we used the ping pong table.

Glenn: Oh, yeah.

Charlie: I feel like that structure never had that energy though.

Rob: No.

Charlie: But probably only because there wasn't enough space to really like run the show from there.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Prob-probably if we had set that up in a larger space, where we were actually-

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: -running-running the show from then it will have the hustle bustle-

Glenn: I think you're right.

Charlie: -you know of an office, but instead, it was just like this strange little miniature set.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: -in this little.

Rob: We- which we never used-

Glenn: No.

Rob: -because by that point we were all married with kids, and so we didn't have like, we never sat at the bar and had drinks.

Glenn: No, no, not at all.

Rob: No, we've really been– We've-we've really just been kind of people that work together and then when we leave, maybe we'll go out. We used to go out together, but we would never like drink at work.

Glenn: No.

Rob: I think we definitely talked about this too. Like, every once in a while on set we would, but we'd never like drink and write.

Charlie: How many people?

Glenn: No. No.

Charlie: No. I mean, we're doing a job.

Glenn: Yeah, that's-that's a common misconception that we should clear up, right? 'Cause I-I, that's a weird thing. We feel like, "Oh, you guys probably just get high as shit and like write." I'm like, "I'm sorry, no, we so don't. We so don't." Like-like, I mean-

Charlie: There are people who do. I know- I know- I know-

Glenn: Yeah, absolutely, like Seth Rogan can-can-can be high as shit all day long, and write like amazing stuff. And I could-- [chuckles] There's no way I could do that. No way. No. No.

Charlie: Yeah, I couldn't operate, but you haven't built up the tolerance. I think that takes a lot of practice.

Glenn: But I also think, I-I mean weed just- I think any drug just affects everybody differently, right? ‘Cause I mean, there's no way that he feels the way I feel when I'm high.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: 'Cause if he felt the way I felt when-

Rob: He wouldn't, oh yeah.

Glenn: He wouldn't do it.

Rob: He wouldn't do it.

Glenn: He wouldn't do it.

Rob: I-I've tried every single kind of fucking strand.

Glenn: Me too.

Rob: I've smoked it, I've gummied it, I've everything.

Glenn: Yep.

Rob: I, it-it definitely affects-

Charlie: “Can you put it up your butt?”


Charlie: “Um, yes, you can put weed up your butt, Sir. Very good.”

[End Credits]


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