Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass | Always Sunny Podcast – The Always Sunny Podcast
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Episode #17

Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass

Can we just stop it with The Beatles?

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17. Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass

On the pod, the guys revisit Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 2, Episode 9.

Rob: We're all here.

Charlie: We're totally just excited to talk to each other.

Rob: The thing I-I noticed about the cameras is that because they're on this side, that you always ha- you kind of have a great shot.

Glenn: No matter what.

Rob: Yeah, because you're looking left, you're looking right. We gotta--

Charlie: Oh, Megan. Oh, my God.

Glenn: Megan, that's--

Rob: Megan.

Glenn: Megan, we can't do things like that. We can't do things like that.

Charlie: Oh, no.

Rob: Let's get a camera on it. Let's get a camera on it.

Charlie: Don't get electrocuted. Megan has, for the listener at home, she has dropped a liquid-y thing and it was--

Megan: God, a glass bottle has shattered everywhere.

Charlie: Did it shatter? Did it break?

Rob: It's a glass bottle that shattered?

Megan: – just leave it.

Charlie: She has shattered a glass bottle, but she's willing to-to work through it.

Rob: Wow. This is Meg's worst nightmare.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: You guys, this is great stuff.

Rob: She's now the center of attention.

Glenn: Are we rolling? Are we rolling?

Rob: Yeah. Oh, we're rolling. Yeah.

Charlie: This is all- this is all good stuff.

Glenn: Oh, wow.

Rob: Meg, did you want to talk a little bit about the broken-- No.

Megan: No, it's cool. I'm just gonna check if I turned on the fucking camera.

Rob: Oh, wow. We’re starting–coming in hot.

Charlie: I see a little red dot on the cameras. Yeah, there's cameras now. We're now filming those podcast.

Rob: Meg, don't cut that. Don't--


Glenn: Uh, Rob, I have a question for you. Um, did you come straight from the set of AP Bio, and are you playing Jack now, because you're dressed in my wardrobe on the show?

Rob: What show is this?

Glenn: AP--

Rob: [laughs]

Charlie: Is it still on?

Rob: Are you still doing that?

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Oh. Cool.

Charlie: Oh, I didn't realize--

Rob: No. Honestly, I know--

Glenn: It got canceled. it got canceled.

Charlie: Oh, well.

Rob: It got canceled?

Charlie: I didn't even tell you guys that?

Rob: No.

Charlie: Officially canceled? I thought you were done. I thought you said we were gonna do three and then that was it.

Glenn: Uh, no. Well, we did four.

Rob: We did four.


Glenn: I love it. Charlie doesn't even know how many seasons we did.

Charlie: Well, you know, seasons are- they all blend together now.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Charlie produces a show that we're doing that I don't know that he knows how many seasons we've done.

Charlie: That's not true. That's not true. I know and I have critiques, but you won't listen to them. So, good luck. Good luck.

Glenn: Uh-oh. That's the kind of thing that'll get- that's the kind of thing will get you fired up.

Charlie: Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Glenn: That-that kind of thing.

Charlie: Telling me that I- that I don't care about the thing that I'm producing. Yeah. That gets under my skin. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: I can tell. I can tell by his face.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like it. I don't like it.

Rob: Why?

Charlie: Yeah, because you're tempting to discredit my, uh, connection to the show.

Rob: Not really. I'm-I'm-I'm just giving you bullshit.

Charlie: Yes, you are. That's what you're doing. No, no. There's something under it. There's something- there's--

Rob: No, no, there really isn't.

Charlie: Glenn?

Glenn: No. I-- No.

Rob: There really isn't.

Glenn: There really isn't. I don't--

Charlie: No, I know that there isn't.

Glenn: No. It's just something you're sensitive to for whatever reason.

Rob: In the same way I'm joking about Glenn, not knowing Glenn's show. Even though I actually put this on this morning and thought, "Oh, this is the way that Glenn--"

Charlie: Well, I'm not sensitive- I'm not sens-- If you said I didn't know your show, um, that's fine, because I have nothing to do with your show.

Rob: Yeah. Right.

Charlie: I minimally have something to do with your show.

Rob: You created the show.

Charlie: Because I have as much- I have as much to do with your show as you want me to do, which seems like not too much, which I appreciate.

Rob: Yeah. Remember? That was the original deal. We wrote it together with Megan, and then, um, and then you--

Charlie: And then-then you-you kids are on your own.

Rob: That's fine.

Charlie: You're fine. You're doing great.

Glenn: Thank you.

Charlie: I love the show.

Rob: Thanks, Bud.

Charlie: Fantastic.

Glenn: He-he's, uh--

Rob: Thank you.

Glenn: He's offering his services, but he doesn't want you to take it up on it. You- him up on it.

Rob: I'm well aware of that.

Charlie: You nailed it. You nailed it.

Rob: We've-- There have been a couple times where I'm like, "Oh, do you want to come in the room?" And then he's like, "Yeah, yeah, we can-- I'd love that. We can work it out." But then I'm like, he doesn't really want to. He's saying that he does, which is really nice.

Glenn: Yeah. He wants to play golf.

Rob: Yeah. And he should be able to. He's earned that.

Charlie: No, I-I-I do. I-I-- Like, the couple times you've been like, "Hey, you wanna work on episode? I've been psyched to do that."

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And I would come do some acting or whatever. That'd be a lot of fun. So, I dig the show.

Rob: Well, look guys, the thing is that nobody's listening--

Charlie: We're not talking about that show, though. That's not--

Rob: Exactly. Nobody cares about AP Bio, guys. Nobody cares about Mythic Quest. They care about it, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Glenn: I don't know about that.

Charlie: You guys seen that Beatles documentary?


Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: It's fucking great.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Don't get me started.

Charlie: You don't-- What's-what's-what's your deal?

Rob: Glenn. Gle-Glenn.

Charlie: What's your deal?

Glenn: Don't get me started.

Rob: This is amazing. [laughs]

Charlie: I wanna hear it.

Glenn: This is gonna get me in trouble.

Charlie: This is bullshit. Go ahead. What do you got?

Rob: Let's get him started. Glenn hates Beatles. He hates The Beatles.

Charlie: Oh, get the fuck outta here.

Glenn: No, that's not totally accurate. What I hate is that The Beatles seem to be, uh, given the credit for having, like, I don't know, invented music or something. Like, can we just stop it with The Beatles? That's-that's my thing. Right.

Rob: Yeah. No, I--

Glenn: There was so much musical innovation happening at the time that The Beatles were out. Okay. Were they part of that? Yeah, they were a huge part of it. Maybe even the biggest part of it. But did they invent Rock and Roll? Did they- did they did-- Was anyone else from the '60s worthy of, uh, uh, uh, of the kind of attention that The Beatles get? It's just like, can we just shut the fuck up about The Beatles? Goddamn it. We get it.

Charlie: So, you- you're not annoyed at The Beatles. You're annoyed at people's love of The Beatles.

Glenn: I'm annoyed at the-the-the-the amount of times that the Bea-- It's like, I'm annoyed at how, like, the amount of shit out there there is to celebrate The Beatles, but not to celebrate all the other bands that were doing cool shit at the time. That's what annoys me.

Charlie: Okay. Um, the documentary is amazing.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: It's great, because you really just see, like, that- the moment where Paul picks up the guitar and he's trying to figure out songs. He's like, "Jojo wasn't much of a--"

Rob: You see the creative process. So, like, really laid bare.

Charlie: This is a stupid thing to compare it to, but it really made me appreciate our process in what we get to do. And just, you know, the times that we've just been in a room stuck and then you're just bouncing ideas, and you're-- And seeing the creative process, seeing how something comes from seemingly nowhere and then goes through someone and then gets shaped by someone else is exciting to watch. So, whether you like The Beatles or not-

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Whether you like The Beatles or not.

Charlie: -seeing the Creative Process-

Rob: What you have to accept is that Charlie feels, and I agree, that we are The Beatles of Basic Cable late night television.

Glenn: Well, no, no, no. I would say that we're- I would say that we're The Kinks, right?

Charlie: Oh, shut up.

Glenn: We were, like, we were-were around for--

Charlie: The Kinks?

Rob: We were-- Yeah. Because they-they- because they made music for, like, forever. The Beatles made music for, like, six years, maybe.

Charlie: Okay. All right. All right.

Glenn: Like, six years, and they were, like, "We're out."

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: You know what I mean? And The Kinks just kept going and going and going and going and going.

Rob: And they were always, like, pretty cool-

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And never got enough credit.

Rob: -nd and people listened to them, but they were, like, they never really got it.

Charlie: Yeah. All right.

Glenn: Yeah, exactly. Like, they-- Did they have some hit songs? Yeah. They had a bunch of hit songs. They had great hit song. By the way, I'm a big Kinks fan. I love The Kinks. Um, but they also--

Rob: They never hit, like, the mainstream.

Glenn: Not-- Well, I mean, they did. They did. Especially, like--

Rob: They have a couple of songs, but people don't- people recognize the songs, but if you ask them who are The Kinks, they would have no idea.

Glenn: Yes.

Glenn: I can't name The Kinks. I can- I can name The Beatles.

Charlie: Which Beatle would you- do you think you are then if--

Rob: Definitely Paul.

Charlie: Yeah. I can see that.

Glenn: Okay. Well, who- which-which Kink are you?

Rob: Jerry Garcia.

Glenn: Yeah. See there? Oof.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah. See, that's the problem with The Kinks.

Glenn: Oof.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Yikes.

Charlie: Then what--

Rob: Bob Weir.

Charlie: If you're Paul, which Beatle am I? Which Beatle do you think I am?

Rob: I-I think you're a little bit of Paul. I think you're Paul too. I think you're Paul.

Glenn: If you guys call me Ringo, I swear to fucking God. [laughs] I swear to God.

Rob: I think we all have a--

Charlie: George Harrison.

Glenn: Yeah. George is--

Rob: Maybe John-- I mean, it's interesting.

Charlie: You're definitely Harrison. Like, you know, like, uh--

Glenn: He's about to-- Yeah.

Charlie: He's damn good. You could--

Glenn: He was about to call me John Lennon.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: He was about to give me John Lennon.

Charlie: I know, I know but–

Rob: Well, in terms of the relationships that you have with each other.

Glenn: He was, he was, and you cut him off.

Charlie: I know. You got a little John Lennon too. You got a little John Lennon.

Glenn: Okay. I don't know. Because I don’t–

Charlie: But you got that George thing where you could- you could go and write an amazing song on your own, and then you don't get the credit for that. But then you're like-- You can do it, man.

Rob: But you see, like, Paul is like a maniac, like, constantly, like, pushing things forward and saying, guys, like, let's go, let's go, let's go.

Glenn: That you.

Rob: I think that's me, but I feel like that's you too.

Glenn: Yeah, it is. That's true. Yeah. I don't write about--

Rob: Okay. So, we're-we're all a little bit of Paul McCartney,-

Charlie: Yeah. A little bit. A little bit.

Rob: -a little bit bit of John Lennon, some-some George Harrison.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And nobody's Ringo? Ringo's fucking great, by the way.

Glenn: Is he?

Charlie: No. Yeah. We're all three ego maniacs, right? We think we're-we're The Beatles.


Rob: The difference is that we're in our 40s and The Beatles broke up in- when they were 26.

Glenn: That's right. Yeah.

Charlie: But they looked like they were in their 40s.

Rob: Yeah, they did.

Charlie: They have baby faces, but they also look ancient the way people used to.

Glenn: That's interesting. I-I-I do agree with you though, Charlie. I-I've always-- And I've talked to you guys about this. Like, I've always felt like our show-- Like, I've always felt- I thought of us more as a- almost more as a band than, uh, than people who are making a TV show, because, you know, there's-there's not many people out there that, uh-- And there, you know, there's a handful, for sure.

But, like, there's- there are- very few people are actually the writers on the show who are also the actors. Like, who make the show, write the show, produce the show, and act on the show. You know what I mean? In the same way that a band writes their music and then goes and performs it.

Charlie: Well, that was the interesting thing to me too, is, like, how sort of generous they are with each other. In that where, you know, you sort of hear these stories about, oh, they were fighting and stuff, but not really, you know. It's like, Paul would've an idea and they would, like, hear it out. And then John would wanna do a thing or George got a little testy about something, but then they, you know, they're like, All right, let's do it your way. And--

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Oh, so I am George. You said he got testy. That I'd see-- I don't know their- but that sounds- that sounds like me.

Charlie: I'm feeling- I'm feeling chippy this morning.

Glenn: You are. What's going on?

Rob: Yeah you are. You seem chippy.

Charlie: I got, like, four hours of sleep.

Glenn: Oh.

Rob: Oh. Well, are we gonna talk about Sunny or are we gonna talk about how we're The Beatles?

Glenn: I just pulled-- [chuckles] I just pulled up my notes.

Charlie: I think The Beatles conversation is a hair more interesting, but yes, we can segue into Sunny.

Glenn: Yeah. And listen, then we can segue back into The Beatles. I'm-I'm down with that. Or-or we can talk about other bands, uh, you know, that aren't the fucking Beatles.

Charlie: This episode did not make me feel like we were The Beatles.

Rob: No.

Glenn: No.

Rob: No. It doesn't--

Glenn: No. This is--

Rob: It didn't hold up for me, but there were moments.

Charlie: Well, there were- there were-- Yes. There was a lot of really, really funny moments. So, there were, like, some high, high highs.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: And then there's a couple kind of clunky lows, I feel like.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: There were some things-things though that we established in this episode. Um, like, I-I believe this is the first reference- am I wrong about this? Of-to Charlie killing rats.

Rob: Oh.

Glenn: He comes into the beginning, he's like- he's like,-

Charlie: Yeah. Might be. Yeah. Yeah.

Glenn: -I just- I just killed about how many ever rats in the basement. And I'm like, "Good work." Yeah, you know. Um, and that-that- I think that was the first reference to you being the guy who's, like, you know, killing rats in the basement.

Rob: This show is so old and we- we did that so long ago, that there were still many, many places- bars- that allowed smoking indoors.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Yes, yeah. I picked up on that right away.

Rob: Right? And it- it was around that change where they were making the laws.

Charlie: There was a debate in this episode about-

Rob: There was even a debate about it.

Charlie: -whether or not you could smoke inside. And I'm sure you can still inside some places.

Rob: Yeah. Casinos and whatnot.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. Right, right, right.

Rob: But, like, your average pub in the US, I don't think--

Glenn: Nowhere in the United States now? Is that going everywhere now? I think it is, because I-I haven't been to a bar in any--

Rob: I think it's a state- it's a state by state thing. So, I have to think that maybe there's some states that just don't give a fuck.

Glenn: Can you-- But you can also, like, have-- Make that a rule of whatever establishment you own, right?

Rob: I believe. Yeah.

Glenn: Like, regardless. Yeah, of course. That'd be crazy.

Charlie: Because you know that- where that rat thing was coming from?

Rob: Mm-mm.

Glenn: No.

Charlie: Because I had so many rats in my house.

Rob: Oh, yeah.

Charlie: They were getting in my house.

Rob: Yes, you had real rats.

Glenn: Oh. And also you had a rat terrier, your dog.

Charlie: And then rat terrier was just like, [snores]. Sleeping and then the rat would like run over its head. Um.

Rob: I-- Yeah. You had the bat-- I remember very distinctly, you have it in the bathroom.

Glenn: I do remember that.

Rob: But-but you-you had a good system and then I-I've adopted that system. And I just used it last weekend when I- when my cat had a mouse that was, like, still alive and he was, like, playing with it, because-

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: -he's a savage. And I use the-the way that you-you taught me how to kill it.

Glenn: Oh, man.

Charlie: Oh, man.

Glenn: How would you dispense?

Charlie: I don't remember and I was pretty ruthless in the day and I-I-- It haunts me.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: You could still hear their screams?

Charlie: It's like, put it in the bag.

Rob: You put it in the bag.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: You put it in the bag.

Charlie: Oh, man.

Rob: No, it's a good way to go.

Charlie: Let-let me tell you something.

Glenn: It's quick.

Charlie: Okay.

Rob: You put it in a bag and you smash the fucking bag. Because it’s fast.

Charlie: There-there are humane traps. You can catch- you can catch these things and you can bring them way out to the woods or whatever. But during the pandemic, I had two mice get into my house and they were- they were, like, shitting everywhere and wreaking havoc. And I caught these fuckers in a glue trap. And I was like, "I can't do. I can't do it. I can't kill the mouse." So, I got ol- olive oil. I got the thing out of the trap, right? I got all the glue out of its fur and I released it in my yard. And I was, like, I felt better about that. I'm like, "All right. I'm sorry little mouse. Just don't--"

Glenn: And then a hawk just immediately comes down and fucking gobbled them up.

Charlie: Well, tell you what? The fuckers came back. They came back in the house.

Rob: Oh, now they gotta die. Now they gotta die.

Glenn: Shut up, everyone. Shut up. This-this episode-

Charlie: No. I didn't kill it. No, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Glenn: -brought to you by PETA.

Charlie: Don't turn me into a murderer.

Glenn: This episode is brought to you by PETA. Uh, giving animals a chance all over the world and, uh, making you feel bad about your choices regarding animals.

Charlie: Hey, I'm PETA and I bash rats. Peta Rat Basher.

Rob: Oh, Peta.

Charlie: Oh, Peta.

Glenn: Peta, that's it. That's it. Yeah.

Charlie: So then these fuckers come back in the house and I get a humane trap. I'm not gonna-- I catch them in a humane trap. I catch them. I drive them all the way to-- I read that you have to take them, like, 20 miles from your house, otherwise they-- So, I find a nice trash dumpster in Griffith Park. But I'm like, "This is a good place for you to live."

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And I let them out there.

Glenn: Oh, good for you. Hey, you know- you know, there are actually-- [chuckles] This is crazy. Somebody told me, because they were having a rat problem at their house. This was a friend of ours, and, uh, they said that they found a rat sanctuary. Okay. So, there are places you can get-- The thing that I find so funny about-- So, what they do is they take in rats, right? Like, in the way that you would- that other organizations have maybe taken a stray cat or stray dog.

They take in stray rats, right? From people who have trapped them and don't want to kill them, I guess. And then they try to-- You know, they have a certain email list or whatever, they contact people who would like to adopt these rats.

Rob: Great.

Glenn: And the thing that I think is so funny about that is I can almost guarantee you that 99% of the people that are adopting that are feeding them to other animals.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: You know what I'm saying? Just nobody's like-- There aren't enough people out there that are like, "I would like to have a rat as a pet." No.

Rob: Sure.

Glenn: They're, like, feeding it to their-

Charlie: Their snakes.

Glenn: -to their boa constrictors.

Charlie: Literally snakes.

Rob: At least there's a-- You're-you're-you're reinstituting the natural order of things.

Glenn: So, it's-- That's not a bad thing.

Rob: Yeah. And-and in my case, I'm talking about my cat is a legit savage and will-

Glenn: Yeah, cat's are--

Rob: -bring the mice in and torture it. It's-it's dead. It's dying.

Charlie: I do now have a stray cat to-to keep all manner of small creatures from my home.

Glenn: How do you think--

Rob: And so-so, the mouse is already dying and the cat's like, "I'm gonna keep this thing alive so I can fuck with it." And so, that's why bashed ‘em.

Glenn: Do you think if they could, uh, the organization PETA would, like, have a go at your cat and have- come-come-come down on your cat and make your cat feel bad about what it does to these mice? You know what I'm saying?

Rob: No.

Glenn: It's torturing animal-an animal.

Rob: Yeah, but it's another animal who doesn't have the brain capacity to understand what it's-- It's just doing what a cat does.

Glenn: I think it knows what exactly what it's doing. Because the thing is it's, like, the spirit of a witch is living inside that cat. You know that, right?

Rob: Yeah. Yeah.

Glenn: You know, that's how it works, right?

Rob: He is a--

Glenn: Witches, they die. Their bo- they shed their bodies, and then they- and then they go into cats. And then you rescue them and they torture animals. So, you know, really it would be PETA, you know, sort of, uh, ad-admonishing a witch.

Rob: They'd be coming down on witches, though. Yeah. Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah. By the way, I don't- I don't mean to put down all witches. I-I think there are probably a lot of witches out there that are doing good things. I just don't know what they are.


Rob: Well, you gotta educate yourself. Do the work.

Glenn: Well, we don't-- [laughs]

Charlie: First of all, there are no witches out there. Don't go calling yourself a witch, until you get your ass on a broom and fly across the sky.

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: Bullshit.

Glenn: Yeah, you're not a witch.

Charlie: You know? You're not a witch. You could be into witch shit.

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: That's cool.

Rob: You could be witchy.

Glenn: You could be into witch culture.

Charlie: You can identify as a witch, which in these days is about as close as you can get.

Rob: Is it still appropriate to call a male witch a warlock or is that a separate thing?

Glenn: No, no, no. I-I think you're right. I think it is- I think it's a warlock.

Rob: So, witches was very specifically only women?

Glenn: I bel-- Yeah, that's-that's right. Well, you could be a witch--

Rob: Megan, you speak for all women. Is that- is that accurate?

Glenn: You could be a witch doctor. Uh, in which case you could be a man or a woman, you know, because doctors are men and women. Why did you give me that look? Men-men and women, and all non- all-- All people can be doctors. So, witch doctor, you know. You wouldn't call it a warlock doctor. Although that's pretty cool. [laughs]

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: Warlockter?

Glenn: Oh, warlockter. We just invented-- We just created a new show, guys.


Glenn: Warlockter. You know what I mean? He's a--

Charlie: A time traveling medicine man.

Glenn: [laughs]

Rob: Medicine person. Medicine person.

Charlie: Sorry. Medicine-- Well, no. We said specifically that the war--

Glenn: He's a warlock.

Charlie: The war-- If you add war to it, it's male.



Glenn: Um, let me consult my notes, guys.

Charlie: All right. So, shout out to Lucas Papaelias. He was-- He's so good in the episode.

Rob: He’s great.

Glenn: He's great.

Charlie: Yeah, he plays the, uh--

Glenn: You still keep in touch with that guy?

Charlie: Uh, minimally, but I should. I miss him. I should reach out to him. The guy with the long hair who's protesting.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Was an actor pal of mine from New York.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And a very talented guy.

Glenn: It was always fun to--

Charlie: We still lived in New York at the time, so it was easy for him to make the trip into, uh, Philly.

Glenn: Right. It was always fun to hire our friends, because, you know, uh, uh, first of all, a lot of our friends are super talented and- but it's also that-- There's that dynamic that you guys have in that scene that, like, you just wouldn't get necessarily with a- with a regular guest.

Charlie: With a stranger.

Glenn: Yeah. With a stranger guest star. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, he's-he's really playing with you, because he knows your sense of humor and he knows your style.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: And he knows he can play.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: Bringing it back to the warlock conversation. Charlie may dabble in the dark arts, because I believe--

Glenn: Charlie Day or Charlie Kelly?

Rob: Charlie Day.

Charlie: Why do you think that?

Glenn: Okay. This man.

Glenn: Because you're only person consistently, uh, through season, through season, that doesn't change the way-- You look exactly the same. You look very different, Glenn. Kaitlin looks very different. I looked different, I think. Danny looks different. You look the same.

Charlie: That's just- that's just genetics, man.

Glenn: We'll see, he might not be dabbling himself, but, like- he, like--

Charlie: I could have a good witch on my side.

Glenn: That's what I'm saying.

Charlie: Who’s gonna stop their witchy spell, because they heard me to denounce witches. I take it back. Thank you for your witchery.

Glenn: Thank you, witch.

Charlie: And thank you for this fountain of youth. Uh, um--

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Charlie: I don't- I don't agree I look much younger in those episodes.

Rob: Well, looking at you now, yeah.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: But in my mind you-you-you seem, I mean, but yeah, dude, that was six- 16 years ago. You don't look dramatically different.

Glenn: No, you don't look dramatically different. It's-it's kind of weird.

Charlie: I haven't done dramatic things to myself, you know?

Rob: That's' true.

Charlie: I haven't, like, uh, gained a dramatic amount of weight.

Rob: Starved yourself silly for years.

Charlie: Yeah, I can't. I don't have the discipline.

Glenn: Yeah. Gotta have discipline to starve yourself, guys. It's not easy. It hurts.

Rob: Yeah, yeah.

Charlie: Yeah, I bet. I bet. Because your body's dying.

Glenn: Yeah. Exactly. Oh, yeah. Can you tell-- Okay, so Charlie, tell-tell everybody this story, um, behind the-

Rob: Rock, Flag, and Eagle.

Glenn: -Rock, Flag, and Eagle song that became so iconic.

Charlie: I feel like it's a riff that, like, Hornsby and I had.

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: Where Hornsby and I would joke about truck commercials, and that they, you know, they-- At that time- I don't know if they're still doing this- it seemed like they were just pumping out the most stereotypical American things. So, it was, like, Eagles and rocks and it was just like, you know.

Glenn: Flags.

Charlie: Flags.

Glenn: Flags flying everywhere. Bald Eagles on--

Rob: They're still doing that.

Charlie: They're still doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: Yeah, absolutely.

Glenn: Yeah. But the-- I think the F150 is the- still-still the, um, highest selling vehicle in the United States of America, I think. Megan, you wanna verify that for me?

Rob: Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan.

Glenn: I believe that's right or maybe it's the highest selling truck, but I think it's the high-- I think it's the- it is the highest selling vehicle.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: So, we used to joke around about, like, car commercials and, you know, like, "I got rocks, and flags, and eagles," you know. Drive a big truck, gonna kick some ass, whatever. So, that-- I think it was just coming from there. Just, like, grabbing that riff in my head, but also, you know, Mary Elizabeth had a really funny one, too. She used to joke [chukles] that they would take it as far as, like, Jesus carrying the cross.

And then all of a sudden, like, a truck comes up and he, like, throws the cross in the back of the truck to-to take himself up the hill. It was like, "Jesus drives a Ford." So, credit-credit to Mary Elizabeth for that one.

Glenn: That's a- that's pretty great.

Rob: But that was not scripted at all.

Glenn: Was-- What was scripted?

Rob: There was not a song to be sung. He just started singing it.

Charlie: I think it was just like, "Don't try it on me," or something. Don't try it on me.

Rob: Yeah, Don't try it on me, and then--

Glenn: I remember- but I remember talking about this with him at the time. I don't remember if it was when we were writing the script or when we were doing the scene, and him telling-- Because I remember him telling us back in the day-

Rob: Yeah. Rock, Flag, and Eagle?

Glenn: -that it was something that he and Hornsby used to joke about.

Rob: Yeah. Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah, about trunk commercials.

Rob: But the song, I think, was just- you just came up with it.

Glenn: No, the song--

Charlie: Yeah, just spit out on the spot.

Glenn: I do feel like the chorus, the rock, flag, and eagle, that--

Charlie: That was the from thing.

Glenn: Yeah, it ended with that, but then that was the thing that you guys used to do,-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -but you added a whole thing before it.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Like, I love the- [chuckles] I love--

Rob: You were laughing through the whole thing?

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah, that I can see.

Charlie: Yeah

Rob: I remember they were laughing too, which is why we don't cut- which is why we don't cut to them.

Glenn: Wait. No, we don't cut to us,-

Rob: Cut to- cut to us, I mean.

Glenn: -but thank-- I think, that's why-- Like, I was watching the episode last night and-and Jill was with me. And she-she-- That's, like, one of her- the favorite- her favorite moments on the show.

Charlie: [chuckles] That's funny.

Glenn: Uh, and, uh, she loves it. Like, we sing it all the time at our house, but, um, uh, it's great, because you look at Kaitlin and she just reacts like a real-- You know what I mean?

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Just, like- just, like, looking at him like, "What- what is he doing?"

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: You know what I mean? I get-- I know for a fact that you and I were just laughing.

Rob: Yeah, but that's why you don't- you don't cut to us at all. We basically wait until he leaves and then it cuts back to our reaction.

Glenn: That's right. That's right.

Rob: Because we were laughing through the whole thing.

Glenn: Yes. [chuckles]

Charlie: That's funny.

Glenn: And we would have ruined it. Um--

Rob: I also remember laughing--

Glenn: I don't think you would be able to get through that now. I think you- you would've cracked yourself up even more now than you would back then. I think-- No?

Charlie: No, I think it's switched. I think at the beginning, I think I was much more quick to, like, think something's funny that I was doing. And now, it's-it's fucking you, man, and you too. Like, I-- When you do a funny thing, I'm dead. I'm like, I can't-

Glenn: It kills you?

Charlie: -I can't look at you. You know?

Rob: The, uh, the scene I remember that was really hard to get through was-was you talking about explaining-

Charlie: Yeah, what girls gone wild is.

Rob: -that you don't want wild girls, you want-- And you- and we got, like, so close.

Glenn: Yeah, so close.

Charlie: Oh, my God, you were so straight in this episode.

Rob: Yeah. Oh, I am so straight.

Charlie: You are so straight. You're a different character.

Rob: Yeah. Yeah, I'm a completely different person.

Glenn: Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. And I- I- I-- That's actually-- I was thinking that too when I was watching them like, "Oh, this is the-- I'm feeling this is the first time I ever did that sort of, like, Dennis creepy-- you know, creepy Dennis thing." Like, you know-- Because it's very- it's very reminiscent of what we do later in the episode where I say like, "Don't you wanna live in another man's skin?"

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: You know what I mean? There was something very funny to me about, like, a very low voice. Like, very intense.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: You know?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: I remember thinking that at the time like, "Oh, that's funny." Like, if-if it gets very quiet.

Rob: Yeah. And I think I remember Charlie kept saying like, "Get closer. Get closer. Get closer." The closer we would get- I mean, it's, like, almost like the way I talk on the microphone.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And your lips were, like, right up against my face, and I couldn't stop laughing. [laughs]

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie: I've noticed you better without the pop-card. The pop-card was luring you in, in a way.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: It was, yeah.

Charlie: Like, without the pop-card, you seemed to be fine.

Rob: Yeah. Well, yeah. I'm just--

Glenn: I don't know if they-they-- But I will say the pop-card, I feel like does a better job at preventing the pops, because I can pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop the shit out of this thing,-

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: -and, you know.

Rob: We might have to go back to the pop-cards.

Glenn: That might be a Juilliard thing. I've gotten so good at- I got so good at articulating. You know what I mean? That, like, my Ps are particularly--

Rob: Plosives.

Glenn: My plosives are particularly intense.

Charlie: Mm. Mm.

Rob: Mm. Yes. [chuckles] p

Charlie: Plosives?

Megan: The-the top three vehicles in the US are trucks.

Rob: Yes.

Megan: The top one is the Ford F-series, yeah.

Glenn: What'd I say? Yeah.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: What percentage of a person--

Rob: How-how good would that make you feel? You were very happy about that. You were so excited to be right about that.

Glenn: Well, you know, it's, like, you- when you, you know, it's like one of the things where you're like, "I know I'm a smart guy."

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: And then when I say something smart, and it-it proves to the world how smart I am, then it's like, "Oh, now not only do I know that I'm really, really smart, now everyone knows."

Rob: Right. Right.

Charlie: Right.

Glenn: So, of course it feels good.

Charlie: It's satisfying, yeah.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: For sure. For sure. I like when I get something right. I'm very happy with it.

Rob: Yeah.


Charlie: Always, always.

Glenn: If you get super happy about getting something right though, probably what it really is, is that-that--

Charlie: You're super insecure about how much you get wrong?

Glenn: About how often you get it wrong.

Charlie: Yeah. Oh, my God.

Glenn: Yes, yes, yes. That's exactly what it is.

Charlie: Yeah, we all are. Everyone's got that.

Glenn: Sorry. Go ahead.

Charlie: Um, can- but can we stop down for a second to talk about trucks?

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Why did-did that percentage of people need trucks? How do people need a truck?

Glenn: Well, the-- Listen, you're not--


Charlie: A lot people need trucks? A lot of people are working and need that truck.

Glenn: That's what I'm saying. You're not hauling lawn equipment around and lumber and all that kind of stuff,-

Charlie: No. No, I know. Yeah.

Glenn: -but I think you know, the average American is just- is like, needs to be able to haul shit around, because they can't--

Charlie: The average American? Mo-- The-the-the per-- The majority of people are hauli- needs to be able to haul--

Rob: No, they're super--

Glenn: Yes. Yes.

Rob: Yes, and they're super cost effective.

Glenn: They are cost effective. Yeah.

Charlie: By the way, I like trucks. I kind of want one.


Rob: I absolutely want a truck. I had- I had a pickup truck.

Glenn: You had a Toyota Tacoma?

Charlie: Yeah, you had a Toyota. Pretty un-American of you, but you had a pickup truck, for sure.

Glenn: Yeah, that was a little bit un-American of you, though. You wanna talk about that?

Rob: Toyota? It was th-- Yeah. That was made- that was made in the US of A.

Charlie: Did you color out the side, so it just said "Yo" on the back?

Rob: No.

Glenn: Oh, you didn't do that move?

Charlie: No. That's the move.

Rob: Oh, I should've. That would have been cool.

Glenn: It would've been funny for you to do it knowing how stupid that is, but to do it just to annoy your friends?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: You know what I mean? That would've been the kind-- That seems like your sense of humor.

Rob: That's a great truck. My brother still drives that truck.

Glenn: He still has that?

Charlie: No. It's still--

Rob: Yes, he does.

Charlie: Yeah, they-- Well, Toyota makes a good truck. They make a good truck.

Glenn: Those things-- Yeah. Those things last forever. Forever.

Rob: Great truck.

Glenn: Great truck.

Rob: Great truck. And you really do use it a lot more often than you- than you think.

Glenn: Well listen, I mean, you know, i- if you can't- i-i-if you can't hire a-a mover, because, you know, you don't want to have to pay the money, then, you know, you get friends together and you-you throw stuff in your trucks, and you haul it from here to there. You know what I mean?

Charlie: Yep. Yep. Yeah, my buddy's dad hauled kids in the back of his truck.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Oh, yeah.

Charlie: You know, like, we would go to baseball games and stuff in the back of his truck.

Glenn: That was before they ha- that was before the-the dual cab truck was more prevalent, right? So,--

Charlie: The only time that we had to, like, get down is, like, when we were going over the bridge and going off the island in Rhode Island. And-and he'd be like, "All right, get down when we go through the toll booth, because I don't want to get pinched going, like, 50 on the highway with, like, six kids in the back of a pickup truck.

Glenn: A couple of kids in the back? Yeah, yeah.

Rob: We used to ride sometimes in the back.

Charlie: But I'll tell you, it was awesome.

Rob: It's totally awesome.

Charlie: It was the best way to ride.

Glenn: Super fun.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: Super fun. Super dangerous and super, super fun. We did the same thing.

Rob: Yes. That’s what makes it fun.

Charlie: Safety kills the fun, man.

Glenn: It does, doesn't it?

Charlie: It kills all the fun.

Glenn: Oh, God. Uh, uh, there's a- there's moment in the episode that always made me laugh. That's- the- there's a lot of it that's, uh, in the, uh, um, there's outtakes of it in the bloopers, but it's-- [chuckles] I always find it's so funny, the concept of, like, Dee asking you, "Where's your breath?"

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Glenn: And you're thinking it's in-

Charlie: Yeah, it's in my mouth.

Glenn: -and you think it's in your mouth. It's-it's-- The reason it's funny to me is because, like, it- there- it's plausible that somebody would be like, "Where's my- where's my breath?" Well, I feel it in my mouth. Like, that's where--

Charlie: Yeah. Well, technically it is in your mouth also, you know. And, like--

Rob: If you- if you're- if you're looking for it, where would you find it?

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: You find it in your mouth.

Glenn: And then- and then in the bloopers- [chuckles] in the bloopers, uh, you know, because you misunderstood, you know, like, she's like, "No, no, it's in your diaphragm." And you're like, "What? No, the diaphragm? That's the--" Then you, like, make a gesture, like, to keep the baby's out or whatever.

Charlie: There's a little rubber, like, uh,-

Glenn: Yeah, yeah.

Charlie: -Yamaka that goes into you.


Glenn: In the- in the- in the outtakes, uh, you refer- you say that, like, "Yeah, it goes in- it goes in the monkey hole."

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Rob: Oh, my God, that's right.

Charlie: Yeah. We cut that. Why didn't we put that in the episode?

Rob: I don't know.

Glenn: Maybe we thought it was too far, uh, too far? I don't know. I don't know.

Rob: I don't know.

Glenn: Maybe-maybe because, like, you guys were laughing? I- I--

Charlie: Yeah. Maybe we laughed through it. Probably.

Glenn: That was- but that was one of the first instances in which somebody was making Kaitlin break consistently.

Charlie: Oh, yeah. She's tough to make laugh.

Glenn: She's- she's a tough nut to crack.

Charlie: She's tough.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah. That's one of the first scenes I actually remember doing, just me and Kaitlin. Although I know there are other ones from the- like, when we go to see the pop pop.

Glenn: Yes.

Charlie: In the season before. But for whatever reason that one sticks out to me is, like--

Glenn: It wasn't a pairing that happened all that often.

Charlie: Yeah. And we were riffing, and it was- and it was funny.

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love that- I love that scene. I love that. I love everything about that.

Charlie: Yeah, I don't get that pairing a lot, and I always enjoy it. Those-those episodes are always really funny to me.

Glenn: Yeah.


Glenn: Yeah. So, the big theme in this episode is obviously, is, uh, is patriotism. Right?

Charlie: Uh-huh.

Glenn: Do you guys consider yourselves patriots? Are you proud of this country?

Charlie: Yeah, absolutely. [laughs]

Rob: Yeah. I love this country.

Glenn: So do I. So do I. Good. I'm glad we've established that. Now, if you were to fight for this country and join one of the armed forces, um, which armed force- which branch of the military do you think you would be inclined to join?

Rob: Wow.

Charlie: I think I'd want to be a Marine.

Glenn: You wanna be on the ground? You wanna get out there?

Charlie: Yeah. Just to have gone through that and say, "Yeah, I'm a Marine. Don't fuck with me." [chuckles]

Glenn: Right.

Charlie: That'd be pretty cool.

Glenn: So-so, you wouldn't do it to fight for your country. You'd do it, because on the other side of it you'd be, like, considered-

Charlie: For both, pal. For both.

Glenn: -considered a tough guy?

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Glenn: The perception. You like the perception of being a Marine?

Charlie: No, I would like the reality of of being Marine.

Glenn: You would?

Charlie: Yeah. My buddy, Carl, is a Marine. And when the shit goes down, I know Carl can snap to action-

Glenn: Oh, I see.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -and take care of business.

Glenn: Right, right, right, right.

Charlie: That doesn't mean just, like, a bar fight. That means any kind of situation.

Glenn: Yeah. Right. Getting stuck out in the woods and knowing how to build a fire, and,-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -you know, how to get rescued, and, you know, if you come across a bear, you're like, "Bitch, I'm a Marine." And then you get killed anyway, because it doesn't matter.

Rob: Yeah, because it's a bear. It's a bear. Unless-unless you have a gun.

Glenn: Yeah, but your attitude is different, right? You're not screaming, uh-- You're not screaming and running away. You're screaming and running at the bear, and the bear is going, "Oh, no, that doesn't work. That doesn't work."

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: "I know you've been taught that, but I'm gonna maul you now and then you die." Either way you die hero, because you were a Marine.

Charlie; Unless you win. Unless you kick that bear's ass.

Glenn: Yes, that's true. How would you do that?

Charlie: I'm gonna rip it's head right off. I'm a Marine, man.


Glenn: Right. Just jump on its head, like- jump on it from behind and cho-choke it out, and then fucking, you know, like, start going at it with your bowie knife?

Charlie: Yeah. I’d grab the nearest source of distraction, right. Whether it's a big rock or maybe just, like, a little branch, you wave it at it's face.

Glenn: Yeah, they love that shit.

Charlie: Yeah, you know, it's like a--

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah. And it's like, "What the fuck is this? What is this? Is this food? Is it- does it- does this beast have a longer arm?" Then before--


Charlie: Before that stupid ass bear knows it, bam.

Glenn: You're on it.

Charlie: Rock to the head. Yeah.

Glenn: Rock to the head.

Charlie: Yeah, but this is fantasy marine me. It's just--

Glenn: Yeah, that's right. Well, by the way, a rock to the head on a bear I think would probably just be like, "Ow."

Rob: Just might piss it off.

Glenn: It's just gonna piss it off. You know what I mean? Like, the- there's--

Charlie: Right down the throat, and it chokes on the rock.

Glenn: Oh, you stuff it down its throat like- like, uh,--

Charlie: I don't know. I don't know. I'm not a marine. I haven't been trained on this.

Glenn: I would stick a bone in its mouth, like Luke Skywalker did to that creature in Return of the Jedi. You remember when he gets-

Rob: Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: -when he falls down into the pit and into Jabba's lair?

Rob: Yeah, and then he can't--

Glenn: The Rancor. The Rancor.

Charlie: Oh, yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. He's in the-- he's got a-- And so, he takes a bone and sticks it in its mouth, and, you know, that was pretty- that was pretty cool. And then he throws a rock and hits the thing and the gate comes down on the Rancor's neck.

Rob: Kills him.

Glenn: Yeah. You know what I always really loved about that scene? Can I just say this real-real quick? Like, I- what I was- what I- what I find so-- This is why- this is why those- for that first trilogy was just so great.

It's one of the reasons. One of the many reasons, but, like, I love that, like, he kills this, like, this-this monster, this monstrous scary fucking creature that, like, basically its whole thing is it eats the people that get thrown into that pit, right? And it's scary, and it's got a scary mouth, and it looks scary, and it sounds scary. And then Luke kills it, and-and as it's dying, it sounds like a-a sweet little-- It's like, [makes sound], and you kind of feel bad for it. Then, the-the trainer, the guy who- the handler, the Rancor's handler that's like this fat guy, comes waddling in and is crying.


Rob: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Glenn: He was crying, because he's so upset that--

Charlie: Just to really fuck the kids at home up, but, you know.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah, I remember- I remember that.

Glenn: Yeah, I know. I just- I just thought that was such a good touch, like that. That's fucking smart.

Rob: Somebody's sad. Yeah.

Glenn: Most movies in the '80s, they would not have- they would not have portrayed a creature-- Like, it was more simple than that. It was like, this is a bad monstrous creature, and the good guy is gonna kill it, and you're not going to feel bad at all, because it was a bad creature. But in this one, you're like, "No, no, no." It's like, there was someone who cared for this creature,-

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: -who fed this creature, who took care of it. I just think that's brilliant. So, good job, George Lucas.

Charlie: Good job, Star Wars.

Glenn: Great, yeah. Good job, Star Wars.

Charlie: I think you're gonna make it.

Glenn: Yeah. Star Wars, The Beatles of movies.

Rob: What I'm-- I-I know you're the host- the host of the podcast. I'm sorry to take, um, that responsibility from you for just a second, but can I ask you, what, um, what armed force would you like to join?

Charlie: Oh, I did want to go back to that. Yes, what would--

Glenn: Well-well, I-I think, um, I think I pretty, like, by default almost, would've probably joined the Air Force, because my- just because my grandfather was-- Well, at the time, it actually wasn't the Air Force, it was the Army Air Force, because the Air Force was a part of the, uh, the army. They weren't their own branch yet, but, um, and that-- So, he was in the Air Force, and then my-my dad, of course, was an Air Force Academy graduate and flew airplanes. And so, he was in the Air Force. So, I think I probably would've done that, you know?

Rob: Yeah. It's pretty awesome.

Glenn: Yeah. I mean, it's- it's, like, you know-- And by the way, that's the reason my-- My grandfather joined the Air Force when-when he was, like, in his late 20s, because he knew he was gonna get drafted for World War II. Uh, he was a jazz musician. He-he played the trumpet and he played the piano. He was in a jazz band, that's what he did. He was a jazz musician, but he was like, "I'm about to get drafted." And he's like, "I think I'd rather be in the air than on the ground." So, before getting drafted, he joined the Air Force and became a pilot, which I think is pretty interesting.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah. And your dad- and your dad fought in Vietnam, right? I mean, he's a--

Glenn: My dad flew in Vietnam, yeah. Yeah, but it's interesting, because my-my grandfather also-- I mean, he saw some-- I-I, you know, I think he thought maybe it was gonna be safer in the air, and boy, was it not.

Rob: Well, my grandfather thought it would be safer in the sea, and it wasn't.

Glenn: No, it wasn't safe anywhere. No. No.

Rob: Well, it was a war.

Glenn: It was a war. It was a war.

Rob: These are- these are some tough people.

Glenn: No, but I-I mean, I'm not kidding when I tell you that my dad tells stories of my grandfather that were told to him by my grandfather. My grandfather never got around-- I never got around-- I just-- I don't know, kid, and I never got these stories, but, like, my dad was telling me. Almost- after almost every single mission, my grandfather would bring his B52 Bomber back and land it, and it would just look like Swiss cheese.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Just-- You know what I mean?

Rob: He’s just getting shot. Just shot to pieces up in the sky. I know.

Glenn: Like, barely getting back.

Rob: I know. Yeah. My grandfather was on an aircraft carrier, and he would talk about getting strifed, like, on a daily basis.

Glenn: Strafed.

Rob: Strafed, sorry, on a- on a daily basis, and then, like-- And he would come home and the-the boat would be, like, torn apart. He got- he got shot.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: Like, they were in their early 20s.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: I-I-- When I was in my early 20s, I was navigating traffic down Franklin.

Glenn: Right.

Rob: You know what I mean? I was like, "This sucks."

Glenn: I bet you were bitching about traffic?

Rob: I gotta fucking sit here while they got traffic up Laurel Canyon. I'm like, "I gotta get home. I gotta--"

Charlie: My grandfather died.

Rob: In the war?

Charlie: Uh, in a military training accident, uh, in the airplane.

Rob: I didn't know that.

Glenn: Oh, my God. Wow, I didn't know that either.

Charlie: My dad was four. So, I never met the man.

Glenn: Oh, man.

Charlie: Yeah. How about that?

Glenn: Should we hug?

Rob: Wow.

Glenn: Should we hug? Do we hug him?

Charlie: You know, so my grandfather--

Glenn: I'm looking at his hands on his hips.

Charlie: Yeah.


Charlie: My grandfather, you know, so-- You know what I mean? Thanks, guys.


Charlie: I mouthed the mic.

Glenn: That’s so awkward.

Charlie: I never met the man. Never met the man.

Glenn: Oh, that is sad.

Charlie: That is sad.

Glenn: That-that's too bad. That's too bad, yeah. Uh, my-my grandpa- so, my grandpa-- One story that my dad told me about my grandfather that I'd never heard, and he told me this last Christmas, I think or the Last Christmas I was home, which sadly was two years ago, because of the pandemic. Um--

Rob: Can you get- can you get more specific about when the story was told to you?

Glenn: Oh, God. I know, I know, I know. I go into unnecessary detail. I apologize.

Charlie: Give me- give me the time.

Rob: Yeah. It was, like-- Approximately what time was it?

Glenn: It was about 12:30. Um--

Rob: We're you hungry? Had you eaten?

Glenn: I was still just doing the coffee thing. I think, probably, but--

Charlie: Okay. 12:30 pacific coast time?

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My cousin was there too. He was a helicopter pilot. Anyway, um, all these unnecessary-- Anyway, he was- he was flying a mission one-one time and he was flying low um, and his copilot, who was a very close friend of his, the plane was getting strafed. And at one point, um, he looked-- his-- he saw his, uh, um, his friend and his copilot, literally just get physically cut in half. Cut in half by bullets.

He then fell forward on the yoke, and was pushing the plane downward. So, my grandfather had to proceed to fly the plane with one arm, while holding his best friend with the other arm. Holding him up, so that he wouldn't-

Charlie: Push the plane down?

Glenn: -push the plane down. And landed the plane that way. That's the kind of thing that, like, I can't even--

Rob: No, you can't wrap your head around that.

Charlie: No. No. To tie it in the episode in some regard, because we have a Deer Hunter reference in this episode. For those who have never seen the movie, The Deer Hunter. The- the, sort of, roulette- the Russian roulette game they're playing at the end with Frank little eyepatch is stolen directly from the movie, The Deer Hunter.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: When I saw that film, it rocked me.

Glenn: Me too.

Charlie: For two- for two reasons. One, just, like, uh, maybe I-I was young enough to be like, "Oh, this-- A war is like this? Oh, war is- war is bad."

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: But-but also in terms of acting, where I think, you know, you're a kid and you see Superman or The Three Amigos or whatever, and, you know, I don't really think much of acting. And you see The Deer Hunter, and you're like, "Oh, acting can be that? That's what acting is." That's the thing that really-- That's the movie that changed me in terms of--

Glenn: Yeah, the performances in that movie are just-- If you guys haven't seen The Deer Hunter, you gotta. You gotta. It's just, like, it's required viewing.

Charlie: It's just like Sunny.


Rob: It's very similar to Sunny.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: It is amazing to think about, like, because I've met your dad, and-and I've have hung out with your dad many times, and he couldn't be kinder or sweeter. He-- It must be difficult, though in some way, to like come back from what he- what he had to experience in Vietnam. And then just fold-- Not only just fold back into normal society,-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: -but then also have to listen to people complain about the shit we've complained about.

Glenn: That's right. It was--

Rob: Like, everybody's experience and pain and struggle's relative, we get that, but still, like, to go through something like that and then come back here, and to hear me bitch about, like I said, like the traffic on Laurel Canyon. I mean,-

Glenn: Yeah

Rob: -who gives a fuck?

Glenn: Yeah. No, I-- He did-- I mean, he did experience that, as I recall. I mean, he-he, I don't know, was-- I-I can't see how old was he when he came back? I can't remember. He must've been 25 or 26 when he came back.

Rob: Well-well, my-my brother-in-law, same thing. He did two tours in Afghanistan, flew Apache helicopters, and- but he couldn't be kinder, or sweeter. And he doesn't-- He just texted me the other day and he's like, "I heard about your foot," you know, because I tore some liga- ligaments in my foot. He was like--

Glenn: Yeah. He wasn't like, "Man up" or--

Rob: No. No.

Glenn: He was like, "Yeah, yeah." He had empathy.

Rob: Yeah. Which is- which isn't- which is crazy, considering what he had to go through.

Glenn: Yeah, I mean, I think those guys felt a-a lot. I mean, I know my dad, he came back, and he was like, what- he didn't- he could-- He was like, he didn't know what was going on in the culture, you know what I mean? He didn't know what was going on- going on, like, music-wise or, like, you know. And I think, yeah, to some degree, everything just kind of felt, like, super weird to him. Like, the things that people concern themselves with were-were-were very strange to him.

Rob: Like The Beatles.

Glenn: Oh. Really? What do you mean?

Rob: You know? That was the '60s?

Charlie: You know, The Beatles-- Yeah, that was the '60s.

Glenn: Oh, you mean- you mean his experience of The Beetles? He was a big-- He actually was a big--

Charlie: The Beetles got long hair now.

Rob: I don't know. I was just trying- I was just trying to bring it back around, just because, you know, it's a comedy podcast.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, cut--

Rob: Yeah, we'll cut that.

Glenn: No, don't cut it.

Charlie: Sentimental shit.

Glenn: Don't cut it.

Charlie: Uh, guys, we love our service members, who-who, um--

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Oh, very. Yes.

Charlie: You know,-

Glenn: Very much so.

Charlie: -but, uh--

Rob: Many friends and family.

Charlie: I don't think about, uh, patriotism, man. That's-that's been adopted by all sorts of extreme groups, that uh, it's pretty frustrating.

Glenn: It is frustrating. It-it's frustrating the implication that if you're a liberal and, uh, a Democrat, that you're not as much of a patriot. That-that's what it feels like. I know that's maybe not--

Charlie: It's just- we're just-- we're all suffering the extremes of this country. Just like the extremes on the right, extremes on the left. I think most people fall somewhere in the middle and are just, like, "What are-- Can we- can we-- Can these guys just shut up?" But they- they can't, that's their thing.

Rob: That's their nature.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: That's, look-- That's what it is, you know?

Glenn: Um, speaking of falling somewhere in the middle, um--

Rob: Can we talk about that jacket? Talk about that jacket for a second?

Glenn: Yeah, sure.

Rob: It's kind of, sort of like a Southwest vibe.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Glenn's wearing a, uh button-up, snap- snap-up, uh, Southwest jacket.

Rob: Yeah, you're gonna have to go to the video to check it out.

Charlie: Yeah. We have video now.

Rob: Kind of has like a--

Glenn: Yeah. Right, like a Santa Fe, kind of.

Rob: Yeah. Like a-

Charlie: I like it!

Rob: -Connor from "Succession" vibe.

Charlie: I dig it.

Megan: [laughs]

Charlie: [laughs] Connor from "Succession".

Glenn: Which one is he-- Oh, is the one who wanted to run for president.

Charlie: From "Ferris Beuller".

Rob: Yeah, from "Ferris Beuller".

Charlie: [laughs]

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah.

Rob: Yeah, you know, he's got that kind of Southwest vibe?

Charlie: I'll tell you, man, that show, the guy who plays Tom,--

Rob: Amazing.

Glenn: Oh, my God.

Rob: E- everybody on that show's amazing.

Charlie: Everyone's amazing.

Glenn: So good.

Charlie: But I feel like I, as an actor, I see that guy and I'm like, "Oh, man."

Rob: Oh, boy.

Charlie: This guy's got all the pitches, fastballs, slider, curve, everything.

Glenn: He does, yeah.

Charlie: Everything.

Glenn: He's got the goods, big time.

Charlie: He's got the goods.

Glenn: Yeah. I couldn't agree more. He's-he's-

Charlie: Holy cow.

Glenn: -and his-his sty-- He's so funny.

Charlie: So funny.

Glenn: Like his style of being funny is like nothing I've ever seen. Uh, I've never seen an actor do comedy the way he's doing comedy. Never.

Charlie: He's great, top-notch.

Glenn: Top-notch.

Charlie: Um.

Glenn: Uh, is there something else you wanted to ask me about this jacket?

Rob: I've just never seen that before. I've never seen you wear that, even, I've never seen you dress in that style.

Glenn: It was--

Rob: Is this a new thing? Is this something we're gonna lean into?

Glenn: No, no. I've actually had this jacket for a really long time and I haven't worn it, because I- I- I thought it was-- I felt like it was too long. Um, uh, you know? You can't really see how long, but I actually asked Charlie when I first came in, I was like, "Hey, man. Do you think this jacket's too long?"

Charlie: No, it's not long at all.

Glenn: And he said, "Why are we talking? Why are you talking to me, we haven't started the podcast yet?"

Rob: Right. Save it.

Charlie: Yeah, save it. Save it.

Glenn: Um, no, but he actually told me that it wasn't too long and now I feel pretty good about it. You know what's cool? It's reversible. Look at that.

Rob: Oh, yeah!

Charlie: That's a ton of fun right there.

Rob: I like it.

Glenn: Isn't that fun? A reversible jacket is just, yeah, it's a twofer.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: It's great.

Charlie: Yeah. Your dad's getting shot to shit, and you got a reversible jacket.

Rob: Here we go.

Glenn: That's right. I'm online looking, I'm frustrated, because I can't find the right twofer jacket.

Charlie: You want a different-- It's too long.

Glenn: Right.


Glenn: Oh.

Charlie: Hey, man, look we gotta live, you know?

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: You gotta be you.

Glenn: Hey guys, this was the first time we had Marga- Margaret McPoyle on the show.

Rob: Yes.

Glenn: Correct?

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Yeah. Ah, one of the funniest things i- in the episode, i- if-- Again, for those of you who are gonna go back and watch these with us, um, in the mo-- There's a moment where, um, where Nate Mooney's character, uh, where Ryan McPoyle is making out with Margaret McPoyle and Liam is just sitting there, watching. Now do yourselves a favor, it's very hard to take your eyes off of what's happening with Ryan and Margaret. Do yourself a favor, next time you watch it, don't watch Ryan and Margaret at all. Just watch Jimmy Simpson. Just watch Liam McPoyle's-

Charlie: Dude, Jimmi's a badass

Glenn: -reaction to that make-out session, because it is so funny. It's so weird.

Charlie: It's it's joyful, right?

Glenn: Wel, yeah, he's just he's just, like, watching with, like, a little, like, smile on his face and he's just, like, yeah.

Megan: [laughs]

Glenn: Yeah. [laughs] And he's almost kind of laughing-

Charlie: Yeah.

Glenn: -a little bit, like, because I think he also probably-- Jimmi probably found it slightly amusing, and he was like, "Well that works for the character."

Charlie: [laughs]

Rob: I think it's interesting that we're we kind of o-- After watching the episodes, we kind of all agree when one is like good, like, holds up,-

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: -you know, to our standard now. And when one does that,--

Charlie: We have a- we have a baseline for what we want it to be and it's, like, it's–

Rob: But we could–

Charlie: –it’s very difficult to- to make any kind of movie or any kind of television show work because there's no math to it. There's no science equation of like, you simply add this and this, and this, and it all adds up, you know? And- and that thing that you're looking for, much like when The Beatles are looking for a song, there's no like meter that goes off and says, "Yes, this is a working song, this is how you get there." You have to make it up as you go along. And I-I agree, it's very interesting that we all have some kind of standard for what that is. Glenn, you and I later today are talking about this season of Sunny in the press, on the-- Another podcast-

Glenn: Right

Charlie: -and, uh, without discussing, you and I both picked the same episode to talk about.

Glenn: Isn't that interesting? Yeah, I found that interesting.

Charlie: And I do feel like that particular episode, which is the second of the island ones,-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: -I feel like it's one of the best ones we've done for years, but I-- You know, who knows exactly how we get there or why? It's interesting.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: So- so, yeah, we all watch this episode and say, oh there's moments of what we want the show to be, and there's moments of what we don't want the sh-the show to be. And we kind of learn from that and go to the next episode, but you can't really learn until the next year, because we're doing them all at the same time, you know?

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: I don't know.

Glenn: Yeah, well, and also you just- you just-- Our tastes, you know changed through the years. I- I am n-- My sense of humor is not the same as it was in 2006, when we made the show.

Charlie: Sure, but I bet we- I bet we-- I can't know for sure, but I bet we felt roughly the same back then,-

Glenn: Roughly the same. Yeah.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: -where we were probably like, "Oh, yeah, there's some good parts in this one" and you know, maybe aspects that [crosstalk].

Glenn: Yes, yeah. I think that's probably true--

Rob: You guys are doing a podcast without me?

Charlie: You declined buddy. You were-

Rob: You know, which- which one is it?

Glenn: -you were invited.

Glenn: Uh, I don't think he wasn't, or was he invited?

Charlie: He was invited, yeah.

Glenn: Oh, I didn't know.

Charlie: It's the, uh, Vulture?

Glenn: Yeah, it's the good one.

Charlie: We're just doing some press, and you were unavail.

Glenn: Tech-tech unavail.

Rob: Oh, well, I can-- I'll make myself available for you guys, I thought-

Glenn: Nah.

Rob: -Usually I thought-- [laughs]

Glenn: We're good, we got it. It's fine.

Megan: [laughs]

Charlie: Yeah, we got it. Yeah, we've learned a lot here.

Glenn: Yeah,-

Rob: [laughs]

Glenn: -we got it.

Charlie: We learned a lot about you.

Glenn: Yeah, I think we've gotten enough outta you today.

Rob: [laughs]

Glenn: Um, guys, I just wanna say, I love America, uh, I am very grateful for this country that we live in. I'm actually not even joking at all. I think we're extraordinarily lucky to be born here. Not that, uh, other countries aren't great too, but I'm very happy to be an American. And, um, I would like to sign off by just saying Rock, Flag, and Eagle.

Charlie: Ah, I'm with you. I believe in America, and I believe in, uh, where we can get with America, uh, you know, which is that- that's a great thing about this country is that we can keep attempting to improve it. There's a lot-- I think there's a lot of people out here frustrated about, uh, where the country's at.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: And- and- and worried. And, uh,-

Glenn: That's fair.

Charlie: -and we've been through bumpy roads before, and we'll- we'll get through it, or we won't and it's all gonna end, I don't know.

Glenn: It may end.

Charlie: But if you're looking for your answers in a- in a comedy podcast, you know, that's probably part of what's wrong.

Rob: [laughs]

Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rob, uh, you wanna say anything?

Rob: Rock- rock, flag, and eagle.

Charlie: Sounded like you said, Rob, flag, and eagle.

Magen: [laughs]

Rob: Mm.

Glenn: Mm. Oooh.

Rob: That sort of a--

Glenn: Boy.

Charlie: [laughs]

Rob: That's a-- I gotta dig- I gotta dig deep.

Glenn: Yeah, that's a- that's a Freudian slip there.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rob: Rock. Flag.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And eagle.

Charlie: All right. Well, John, Paul, and Ringo.


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[End Credits]


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