On the pod, the guys take some calls and catch up with fans.
Rob McElhenney: And Glenn, I'm noticing that you and I have a similar look today.
Glenn Howerton: We do and we don't, you-you have, like, sort of the buttons of a peacoat on a flannel shirt, uh, which I find very strange.
Rob: Yeah, I don't know.
Charlie Day: You're thrown by the button? I like the button. It's something different.
Glenn: Well, I guess- I guess, I'm a little confused as to whether it's a shirt or a jacket. And by the way, that's fine.
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: That's fine. I'm okay with that.
Rob: Yeah.
Charlie: It's sort of a shacket or a jirt.
[laughter]
Glenn: Right. Who makes that? Who makes that shacket?
Rob: This is a company called Hartell, which is a friend.
Charlie: Uh, we're not doing plugs. We’re not doing plugs.
Rob: No, we're not doing plugs, but he's a friend of mine.
Glenn: Johnny Hartell?
Rob: I will say that I- just this morning, there were two more of these buttons here and here.
Glenn: They both came off?
Rob: No, I ripped them off. They're in my office right now.
Glenn: Why did you rip your sleeve buttons off?
Rob: Because I noticed what I was doing on my desk, it kept--
Charlie: Oh, it was clicking and clacking.
Glenn: Did you rip them off?
Rob: I just ripped them off, yeah.
Glenn: In a rage?
Rob: I can bring them in. No.
Glenn: Calmly?
Charlie: Did you get scissors or you just pulled them right off?
Rob: I just pulled them off. I just popped them off.
Charlie: Savage. Savage.
Rob: It's not that hard.
Glenn: Bro.
Rob: I can rip thread.
Glenn: You are tough, dude.
Charlie: Wow. You know what? Maybe you should destroy your shirt.
Glenn: You're strong, bro.
Rob: No, because it--
Charlie: That's what you're going for. You're going for a shipwreck look.
[laughter]
Charlie: That's-that's why you have the one- the one remaining button.
Glenn: I don't know how Hartell's gonna feel about that.
Rob: A ship- a shipwreck jirt.
Charlie: A shipwreck jirt.
Glenn: Yeah. All right, launch into your thing. What do you got?
Charlie: Oh, today, we're going to the phones. We're gonna go to the phones live today. We're gonna do something special. We're gonna go to the phones for hot takes. We're gonna get hot takes from people and we're gonna--
Rob: We're gonna just talk to people.
Glenn: This is very exciting.
Charlie: We're gonna put up a hotline.
Glenn: This is very exciting, Megan, what are we doing today?
Megan Ganz: Yeah, we're gonna take some random callers. I got you guys a 1-800 number, and, uh, so we're just gonna tweet it out and see who calls in.
Charlie: And Instagram it, and-
Glenn: This is gonna be a mess.
Charlie: -just see what happens.
Rob: Whatever moron has off from work today.
Glenn: Right, right, right.
Charlie: And we're gonna get your hot take. You can talk to us about, uh, you know, talk to us about COVID, your cure for COVID you might have, and we will spread that misinformation. Uh, what's your hot take? Whoopi Goldberg, should she have been suspended?
Glenn: Oh, boy.
Charlie: Yes or no? What's the hot take here? You got a take on the Holocaust? That's not gonna pan out well.
[laughter]
Charlie: All right. Oh, okay.
Megan: You know what I'm sad though? Is I don't have those-- I want those, like, the operator boards, you know, with the plugs that I have to, like, unplug and plug back in?
Glenn: Oh, I know, I know. Wouldn't that be cool. Oh, that would be cool.
Megan: Wouldn't that be nice? If I had that.
Charlie: That would be cool. Yeah. I never--
Charlie: But your arm would get tired.
Glenn: Those things were- those things were amazing, man.
Charlie: And many an operator died of arm-arm exhaustion.
Glenn: Right.
Charlie: All day, just--
Rob: Charlie's on fire.
Glenn: Yeah, he's on fire.
Charlie: I'm on fire today. We're-we're-we're brought to you by-
Glenn: Adderall.
Charlie: -landlines, people. Landlines. Taking a wild guest who might be calling, picking up the phone, and answering. Who's gonna be on the line?
Rob: All right. So, once again, we're just gonna tweet. We're gonna tweet.
Charlie: All right, all right, let's fire the number out.
Glenn: All right, I'm not fast at this.
Rob: Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait before-- Okay. Before you send it, don't send anything yet. Let's have our first- let's have our--
Glenn: Are you so fast that I couldn't-- How could I have even possibly sent-- I am so--
Charlie: I'm ready to send.
Glenn: Oh, my God.
Rob: Here's a question though, because this could be fun. Should we both– should we all do it at the same exact time-
Glenn: Mm.
Rob: -and then see whose- who saw it where first. The first caller saw it on Charlie's or Glenn's or Rob's feed. I don't know. Just to add an extra element.
Charlie: I mean, we don't know there's a--
Glenn: I mean, that does- that does seem like a very exciting game.
Charlie: Yeah, that does. All right, fine. I'm ready to press, okay.
Glenn: I'm gonna push, okay, but I haven't pushed share yet.
Rob: Wait, hold on.
Charlie: Oh, because you're going to a story. I think the story is the better.
Glenn: No, no, I'm gonna post.
Rob: Oh, okay, you go.
Charlie: You still got to share.
Rob: Why don't we do this? Why don't you go post, you go, uh, story, and I'll go Twitter.
Glenn: I am already in the post.
Charlie: I'm pushing the button. Let's go, let's go. Share.
Rob: That's the way to do it. We’ll see how quickly–
Glenn: There we go. Now guess what? I'm-I'm gonna put in my stories also.
Rob: Now, this could be really sad, by the way. What if we just sit here in silence for, like, 20 minutes?
Charlie: That's the- that's the kind of thing that the person always says and then, you know, all of a sudden, like, they have too much pizza. They're like, "But what if this machine doesn't make enough pizza," and then they're buried in pizza. That's what the person, under pizza says, "Um, let's go to the phones."
Rob: Megan, who's called? Is the switchboard lighting up?
Charlie: Is the switchboard lighting up, Megan? How are your arms? Are they tired? Are you tired?
Rob: Megan's gonna go into some sort of--
Megan: I'm really nervous about this. This is gonna require me to talk, because I have to pick up the phone and say hello to people.
Charlie: You're already talking.
Rob: You're talking right now.
Charlie: See, you got it down. You got it down.
Megan: Do my best.
Charlie: Oh, you're doing a diff–You're also doing a story.
Glenn: I'm-I'm doing a story here, guys. Uh, just because--
Charlie: What's the story?
Glenn: I-I just put, "Call this number now. We're taking calls on the podcast. For real."
Charlie: Okay.
Glenn: Should I have put "For reals" with a z?
Charlie: Do that and then I will just share your story, which should be--
Glenn: Oh. Well, I have to tag you in order to do that. Oh, no, I already pushed the fucking--
Charlie: All right. It's fine. It's fine.
Glenn: Shit. Shit. Damn it.
Rob: Oh.
Charlie: Glenn, Glenn, you're gonna scare them away.
Glenn: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Charlie: Of course they can't hear us. This isn't live radio.
Glenn: By the way, I can't-- This is- this is really interesting. I-I rage a lot in my life, I don't know why.
Rob: What? You?
Glenn: Yeah, I get very frustrated.
Charlie: When did this start?
Glenn: When did this start? I get very frustrated about things and I rage, but it's been really interesting, because, you know, this is something I don't like about myself and I wanna fix it, but I haven't been able to address it yet or figure out how to fix it yet, um, nor have I tried. But, you know, as you know, I broke my collarbone two weeks ago. It's getting better, thanks for asking. Um, and-and tweaked my back--
Charlie: More about your collarbone. They can't wait to hear.
Glenn: So, I can't rage.
Charlie: Oh, you can't rage, because--
Glenn: Because it was-- Because when I scream or rage or get angry, when I want to express myself physically or vocally, I can't, because it hurts my-my collarbone or my back or both. Usually both. And so–
Rob: Right, but then- if you- if you lean into that, it might be even funnier, because then you would have rage against your shoulder and back and your own body.
Glenn: Right. Yeah, and I'm like, "[rage screams] Goddamn it. [groans]." It's just a feedback loop.
Rob: Yeah, which will be very funny for us.
Megan: Hey, guys, we've got callers.
Rob: Oh.
Glenn: Hey.
Charlie: Let's go to the phones, Megan. Get those arms a flapping, get those plugs a plugin. We're going to the phone.
Glenn: This is gonna be a shit show.
[music]
Charlie: I don't see a phone. So, that's--
Glenn: So, we're gonna hear them in our head.
Megan: It's called the internet.
Charlie: It's called the internets?
Megan: It's through the internets.
Charlie: An internet telephone. That's not a landline.
Glenn: An internet telephone.
Megan: You guys will hear it ring in your headphones too when they- when call in.
Charlie: Dead air.
Megan: Dead air. [chuckles]
Charlie: Dead air. Let's get them- let's get that first caller. Any minute now. The first ever caller on the Always Sunny Podcast.
Glenn: Yeah, this is exciting. I've never talked to a fan before. I don't.
Rob: Yeah, you don't talk to anybody.
Megan: A fan, never?
Glenn: No. I don't really leave my house. No, I'm joking, of course I have.
Charlie: Oh, that sounds like there's something.
Glenn: That's a cool sound.
Charlie: All right. Let's- let's answer it.
Rob: Answer. Phone, answer.
Megan: Thank you for calling the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie, and Glenn.
Charlie: Hello.
Mandy: Hello.
Glenn: Who is this? You're our first caller.
Charlie: First caller.
Mandy: Oh, my God. I saw Rob's tweet and I was like--
[cheering]
Rob: What's your name?
Mandy: My name's Mandy
Rob: Mandy, you have just made my day.
Charlie: Yep.
Rob: God bless you, Mandy.
Charlie: We didn't know whose tweet would get seen first or text or post. So, Rob is the winner of our little game here.
Glenn: I’m disappointed.
Rob: Another game that I came up with.
Charlie: But Mandy- Mandy, you're the big winner today. Why don't you tell us where- where are you from?
Mandy: I'm from like, the Detroit area in Michigan.
Rob: No, you know what I notice about, Detroit, I-I know a lot of people from Detroit, but they're actually not from Detroit.
Glenn: They’re from the Detroit area.
Rob: They all say I'm from the greater Detroit area.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: I find that very--
Charlie: I think Detroit has a lot of areas.
Rob: Yeah. What-what area?
Glenn: Well, it's because everybody left actual Detroit and then spread out into the area.
Charlie: All right, Mandy, what's your hot take? What you got today? What do you- what do you wanna talk to us about something? Go ahead, go.
Mandy: Um, oh, my God, I have no idea.
Glenn: That's fair.
Charlie: That's fine.
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: That's fair.
Charlie: That's fully expected.
Rob: You dialed in a frenzy.
Charlie: You just- you just called and now you're on.
Mandy: I really did. I’m like freaking out.
Glenn: Yeah, I get it. Listen, we start the podcast every day with this exact same dilemma. What are we gonna do? What are we-- I have nothing to say. Like, you know what I mean? So--
Charlie: Mandy what do you do for a living? Do you have a job?
Mandy: Yeah, I work at Panera Bread.
Charlie: All right.
Rob: Hell, yeah. I love Panera Bread.
Charlie: Shout out to Panera Bread, This episode's brought to you by Panera Bread.
Glenn: I like that Fuji apple sal- chicken salad. I do.
Rob: Are you at Panera as we speak, like, in the back room?
Mandy: No, no. Thank God I don't work today.
Glenn: Okay, wait. Mandy, can I ask you a question-
Mandy: Yeah.
Glenn: -about the Fuji apple chicken salad that I've had many times from Panera Bread. Here's my- here's my question for you, Mandy. Um, did they at some point go from putting fresh Fuji apples in the salad to putting dried apples in the Fuji apple salad? Because I hadn't had one in a long time and I had one not too long ago and it wasn't fresh apples in there anymore. It was dried apples. What's going on there, Mandy?
Mandy: Oh. Oh, damn. Um, I think they use, like--
Glenn: Do you know what I'm talking about?
Mandy: I've worked there for about five years. I think we've always used dried apple chips.
Glenn: Always?
Mandy: Unless in LA they're using fresh ones.
Glenn: Whoa.
Rob: Wow.
Glenn: Well, that could be- that could be- that could be--
Charlie: In the Detroit area, they're drying their apples.
Glenn: Right.
Rob: Mandy, when did you start watching, uh, it's Always Sunny In Philadelphia?
Mandy: Um, my God, it was a long time ago. It was right after I watched Horrible Bosses.
Charlie: Nice, good.
Mandy: I like the Charlie guy and I gotta see what else he does.
Charlie: There we go.
Glenn: Right. What else does that guy do?
Charlie: Yep.
Rob: Now, that was- that was a long time-- Yeah, that was a long time ago, but it was also, like--
Charlie: 2011-ish, 2012-ish.
Rob: In, like, season 8 of the show at that point.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: Oh my god.
Rob: How- how old- how old-- Do you mind if I ask how old you are, Mandy?
Mandy: 23.
Rob: Oh.
Charlie: Oh. So, Mandy, you started young. You started watching young.
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Rob: Wow.
Charlie: Well, Mandy, thank you for calling in to say--
Glenn: Now, wa-wait a second.
Charlie: Oh, okay. I was about to boot your right out of here, Mandy.
Mandy: [laughs]
Glenn: Wai-wait a second, Mandy. What did you think about Coffee Town?
Charlie: I don't think she--
Mandy: I actually haven't seen it, but it is on my Letterboxd list to watch it.
Megan: [laughs]
Rob: Oh.
Charlie: Oh. It's fine
Glenn: Okay. All right, Mandy.
Charlie: It's fine. You can skip it, Mandy. Mandy, have a great-
Mandy: Also--
Charlie: -day in the Detroit-- Oh, you got something else? Lets go hot take.
Mandy: Oh, I was just gonna say I'm so glad that you guys are recording it. It's, like, it's been so fun to watch it. I, like, I keep tweeting it. It's-- [chuckles] I feel like I'm, like, watching my fun drunk uncles, like, talk.
[laughter]
Rob: I've always wanted to be somebody's fun drunk uncle.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am someone's fun drunk uncle.
Megan: [laughs]
Charlie: Um, now, uh,-
Rob: Hey, Mandy.
Charlie: -we're not currently drunk, but-
Rob: This is vodka.
Charlie: -but it's a good suggestion, and-and we're gonna take that. We've got lots of callers though, Mandy. And you-you're the first, the-the tip of the mountain. So, thank you for calling-
Mandy: Well, uh-- [chuckles]
Charlie: -and, uh, and we're gonna move on. Good luck at Panera Bread. And thanks for watching the show.
Mandy: Thanks, guys. [laughs]
Glenn: Bye, Mandy.
Megan: Thank you, Mandy.
Charlie: Bye, Mandy.
Megan: Okay.
Rob: Panera Bread. What did you say? Banana bread?
Charlie: I think I said Panera Bread.
Glenn: [laughs]
Rob: It sounded like banana bread. Would you--
Charlie: Good luck there working at the banana bread company.
Glenn: [laughs]
Rob: I don't like banana bread.
Charlie: And, uh, good luck with the dried apples.
Rob: That was nice. I like to hear from them.
Charlie: Sure.
Glenn: I swear to God, they used to have fresh Fuji apples on those salads.
Charlie: Sure.
Glenn: I swear to, like-- I swear to God, like-- Nah.
Charlie: Well, this will get more interesting as listeners sort of start to hear the-
Glenn: I want everyone to--
Charlie: -the tone of the conversation.
Glenn: I want-- I hope that everyone who calls in works at Panera Bread.
[laughter]
Rob: So, you can ask them lots of questions.
Glenn: Well, I just think that'd be interesting.
Rob: I want somebody to come in with a hot take.
[phone rings]
Rob: Oh, here, go. We have another caller.
[phone rings]
Charlie: Oh, another. Here it comes, here it comes.
Glenn: I love that sound. I love it.
Charlie: All right, all right.
Rob: Okay.
Megan: Welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie, and Glenn.
Glenn: What do you got?
Kaitlin: Hi.
Glenn: Hi.
Rob: Hi.
Charlie: Hi. Who we speaking with today?
Kaitlin: Uh, my name's Kaitlin.
Glenn: Hi, Kaitlin.
Charlie: Kaitlin, are you married to Rob McElhenney?
Megan: [laughs]
Kaitlin: [chuckles] No.
Charlie: Not that Kaitlin?
Rob: Okay.
Glenn: Do you wish-- Do you wish you were married to Rob McElhenney?
Kaitlin: I-I could be honest, I wish that Rob and Kaitlin were my parents.
Megan: [laughs]
Glenn: Oh, oh?
Rob: Now-- So, now we're people's unc-- Uh, look guys, we're gonna have to get used to this.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie: Yeah, we're.
Rob: We're now-- We're people's uncles or parents now.
Glenn: Yeah. We're--
Rob: We-We're no longer peers.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah. You're far too old for Kaitlin. Just Kaitlin.
Rob: Kaitlin, what area of the world are you calling us from today?
Kaitlin: Uh, I'm in Wisconsin.
Rob: Yes.
Glenn: Oh, cool.
Charlie: Wisconsin.
Rob: A lot of Midwest.
Charlie: All right.
Glenn: I love it.
Charlie: The Midwest calling in and representing. Now, do you have any sort of, uh, things to ask us? You got any hot takes? You wanna take any sta-stances-
Glenn: Charlie's really putting on a show today.
Charlie: -on society? [laughs]
Glenn: You're really putting on a show today.
Charlie: I'm keeping it going. I'm keeping it-- I'm keeping the energy up. Well, what's the-- Kaitlin, talk to us.
Kaitlin: Um, oh, God. I don't-- Oh, man. Uh, I will say, just to preface everything right now, I am- I am currently recovering from brain surgery.
Glenn: Wow.
Charlie: Wow.
Kaitlin: So, I'm a little bit all over the place right now.
Glenn: Okay. So, your brain is--
Rob: Okay.
Glenn: So, your brain is, uh, it's still healing?
Kaitlin: It is, yeah, yeah. I just got some brain surgery, um, a few days ago. I guess, maybe, do you guys have any recommendations for-- I have been rewatching a lot of Sunny lately. Do you have any recommendations for rewatches in this particular situation?
Rob: Great question.
Glenn: Mm.
Charlie: That is a very good question.
Glenn: Always fun to rewatch Game of Thrones.
Charlie: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Glenn: If you've only seen that once or not- or not at all. That's great.
Rob: She's talking about episodes of Sunny.
Charlie: She's talking about episodes of Sunny.
Glenn: No, no, I know she is.
Rob: Oh, oh, good going, good going.
Charlie: Oh, okay, okay.
Glenn: Oh, I know that, but I'm saying you don't worry about that.
Rob: Skip it. Skip it.
Megan: [laughs]
Glenn: No, no. You can do that. Do that also.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: I'm just giving you recommendations for other shows to watch to help your brain heal.
Charlie: Yeah, we are not normally-
Kaitlin: Yeah, I'll take those too.
Charlie: -recommended for brain growth.
Megan: [laughs]
Charlie: But I think,-
Rob: Mm-hmm.
Charlie: -you know, if you were, um, there's, uh, Flowers for Charlie. Is all about, uh,-
Rob: Uh-huh.
Glenn: Oh.
Charlie: -gaining some intelligence and good for a laugh.
Glenn: Did you ever read the book Flowers for Al-Algernon in school?
Kaitlin: No, I did not.
Glenn: Okay.
Kaitlin: Um, but I am familiar with the episode.
Glenn: Okay.
Rob: Or maybe you have and you don't remember it.
Glenn: Uh-oh.
Megan: [laughs]
Rob: Now, hold on a second.
Kaitlin: Oh, shit.
Charlie: On account of the surgery. On account of the surgery.
Rob: Yeah. I'm assuming that the surgery went well,-
Charlie: It's possible.
Rob: -but she-- Did you say that it was just a couple of days ago?
Kaitlin: Uh, yeah. It was about, uh, a week ago now.
Glenn: Oh, that's so wild.
Rob: You sound great. You came outta brain surgery.
Charlie: It sounds like your brain is working.
Glenn: Part of it is. The speech part is.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: And-and you dialed on the phone and you're on social media.
Glenn: Okay. So-so, Kaitlin, wha-wha-what's going on with your brain? Why did you have to have brain surgery?
Kaitlin: Um, I went in, because I had a really severe migraine. And then they did some imaging on me and they found out that, um, I- a couple of my arteries, like, in the-the back of my head were dissecting. Um, so they had to put a couple of stents in.
Rob: Oh.
Kaitlin: So, that was really fun.
Charlie: Wow.
Glenn: Oh.
Charlie: And are they happy with the work? Are they feeling that it was a successful operation?
Glenn: What were you told?
Kaitlin: They-- Yeah, they are, they are. Yeah. I'm on a bunch of blood thinners right now, so.
Rob: Mm. You-you sound great.
Charlie: Kaitlin, you're a modern miracle.
Rob: Yeah.
Charlie: Okay?
Glenn: Did they- did they have to shave your head and all that?
Kaitlin: No. It's-- Oh, my God, I can't believe I'm talking to you guys right now.
[laughter]
Charlie: Did they go in through the ear?
Kaitlin: They went through, like, my leg. It was weird.
Glenn: Whoa.
Rob: Science.
Kaitlin: They went through my leg and then through, like, the artery.
Glenn: Wow, Kaitlin. Wow.
Charlie: All right, all right.
Rob: Through you-- They went through your leg to do brain surgery?
Kaitlin: Yeah, they went through my leg. [laughs]
Glenn: Now did you go see a doctor that knows that your brain's not in your leg?
[laughter]
Glenn: I just wanna be sure.
Rob: What are the doctors in Wisconsin doing, man?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. Did you go to Joe Rogan for the surgery?
Glenn: They're so filled with cheese.
Charlie: Who did this surgery?
Glenn: They're so filled with cheese in Wisconsin that they think that your brain is in your leg. Is that right, Kaitlin?
Kaitlin: They are. Yeah. Actually, yep.
Rob: Or- do I have that right?
Kaitlin: Yeah. Maybe I should've called into the Joe Rogan podcast about this.
Glenn: [laughs]
Charlie: It's fine, it's fine.
Rob: This is amazing. Congratulations.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: You sound like a bad motherfucker.
Glenn: Yeah, yeah.
Rob: One week later after brain surgery, you're calling into this dumbass show.
Glenn: Good for you.
Charlie: Kaitlin, well done. We're happy. It was been good talking to you. We have a whole line of callers we got to get to. Thank you for calling. Thank you for watching the show. Good luck with your brain and your blood.
Kaitlin: Thank you so much. I love you, guys. I'm-- I've been obsessed with the show for years. It's been such, uh, a huge part of my life. So, sincerely, thank you for creating it and--
Glenn: Oh.
Rob: Have a- have a-
Kaitlin: -creating it.
Rob: -have a great recovery.
Glenn: Aww, you're sweet.
Charlie: Thank you.
Glenn: Good luck, Kaitlin. Thank you so much.
Charlie: I'm happy it all worked out for you.
Kaitlin: Thank you.
Rob: All right, bye.
Megan: Thanks, bye.
Charlie: Bye.
Rob: Awesome.
Charlie: Well, that's the kind of stuff that's gonna happen, you know.
Rob: It's gonna be two young women.
Megan: I know. I'm surprised.
Charlie: Two young women.
Megan: It's good.
Rob: Well, we have a large female audience. It's ni-- Two young-- Like, 23, and Kaitlin so-sounded very young.
Glenn: Yeah. I think maybe-maybe at some point, maybe we were, like, you know, sexy young guys to now we're just, like, drunk uncles and-and-
Rob: Yeah, parents and uncles.
Glenn: -and parents. It's like, "Oh, it's like, listen to my par--" Like, that's what's gonna be a lot of calls today. People have been like, "Watching your show is like listening to my parents bicker."
Rob: We have a call.
[phone rings]
Megan: Welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie, and Glenn.
Glenn: That's true, you are. What do you-- What do you want?
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: What's your name and what do you want?
Charlie: Who-who did we get? Who is this? State your business.
Rob: [laughs]
Xander: Thi-This is, uh, this is Xander. And my, uh, my business is, uh, asking you questions, I guess.
Glenn: Okay, wait. Xander--
Charlie: Oh, Xander, all right.
Glenn: Xander--
Charlie: Welcome to the hotline.
Glenn: Xander, are you-- Do you spell that with an X at the beginning or Z?
Xander: You spell that however you wanna spell that.
Megan: [laughs]
Glenn: No, no. I want to know how you spell it.
Rob: You spell it.
Charlie: How does Xander spell it?
Xander: With an X, I guess. Yeah, that sounds--
Charlie: Yeah. You guess?
Rob: You guess?
Glenn: What do you mean, "You guess?"
Charlie: I think Xander is giving us a false name.
Glenn: You giving us the runaround, Xander?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: We are not here for that.
Rob: Xander is not your real name.
Charlie: Xander, where are you from? Are you from this planet or how do you-- Where? What?
Glenn: Yeah, exactly.
Charlie: What planet are you from, Xander? And is it Xandor? Is it, like, Xandor The Great-
Rob: [laughs]
Charlie: -or is it just-
Glenn: Or Xandar.
Charlie: -straight up Xander?
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: Are you a Xandarian?
Xander: I'm from Mars.
Charlie: All right. Xander from Mars on the line. Xander, go ahead and ask us some questions.
Glenn: Yeah, what you got?
Charlie: What do you want to know?
Glenn: What you got, buddy?
Xander: Hey, I wanna know-- This is something I've been wondering-
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Xander: -for, like, a while. I wanna know if you would ever do an episode where there's, like, a normal McPoyle-- You know how the McPoyles are all, like, fucked up and shit?
Glenn: Yeah.
Xander: Well, what if there is an episode where there's just, like, a normal McPoyle? Like, there-there's nothing wrong with this McPoyle, like, to the fact you don't even know it's McPoyle at first.
Glenn: Right.
Xander: And then-
Charlie: Did we do that?
Xander: -you find out it's a McPoyle.
Rob: That's a great–
Charlie: We kinda did that.
Charlie: We kinda did that. We did that.
Glenn: We did?
Charlie: Yeah. In the Invincible episode,-
Rob: Doyle?
Charlie: -uh, McPoyle, just to be like a tough football guy-
Glenn: It's pretty off.
Charlie: -and we don't know that he's a football- that we don't know that he is a McPoyle. And then it's revealed-
Xander: Oh, true.
Charlie: -that he's a McPoyle. So, I feel like you--
Rob: Yeah, but I-I-I know what you're-- I know what you're saying. Like, you want somebody that--
Charlie: But you were saying a little more buttoned up of a kind of a character.
Rob: Or, like-like, somebody comes in-- We have discussed this.
Glenn: Like Ryan Reynolds.
Charlie: Oh, you know what?
Glenn: Like Ryan Reynolds comes on.
Rob: A handsome, yeah.
Charlie: You know what? We pitched that for the Ireland episode this year.
Rob: We did.
Charlie: The day that Kait-
Glenn: Oh, that-that's right. He did.
Charlie: -that Kaitlin was going to dating a guy and then--
Rob: That she knocked on an Irish doctor who's, like, super handsome.
Charlie: An Irish doctor, and she finds out that it's McPoyle.
Rob: Yeah, Xander, you're de- you're dead on.
Charlie: Xander, you're on to something. You're on to something.
Rob: Now, do you need a job in the writers room or where--
Charlie: Yeah. Are you a writer, Xander or what is your-- Where-where do you live, uh, when you're not on Mars?
Xander: Hey-hey, man. I'm in Birmingham, Alabama.
Rob: Oh.
Glenn: Oh.
Charlie: All right. Shout out to Birmingham.
Glenn: Hey, Birmingham, the coolest city in Alabama.
Charlie: Yeah. Glenn, you spent-
Xander: Hey, man.
Charlie: -a lot of time in Birmingham.
Rob: Well, Montgomery, but--
Glenn: Montgomery, but--
Charlie: Montgomery?
Glenn: Uh, but I've spent quite a bit of time in Birmingham.
Charlie: Yeah.
Rob: Close enough.
Charlie: Close enough.
Rob: Now, Xander, how old are you?
Xander: 23.
Rob: Hey, look at these.
Xander: –24 years old.
Rob: Now are you- are you currently employed?
Xander: Yes.
Rob: There was a long gap between-
[laughs]
Glenn: What do you do? What do you do?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, yeah.
Rob: -between the question and the answer.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: What do you do, Xander?
Charlie: The Xandarian’s tends to not want to work.
Rob: He's 23, so he's still finding his way, my guess is. What do you do?
Charlie: 23.
Xander: I work at Amazon.
Rob: Yeah, he's finding his way.
Charlie: All right, okay. All right.
Rob: He's finding his way, but I-I'm-- This-this is interesting, because now we have somebody from-- I think there's a common misconception that our audience is, like, coastal or college towns.
Charlie: Nobody thinks that. We're massive.
Glenn: Oh.
Charlie: We're global.
Rob: I find-- It's very interesting. We're in-- Now, this is Birmingham, Wisconsin, and outside in-in rural Michigan.
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Rob: Fascinating stuff.
Glenn: We're learning things today. We're learning things.
Xander: We're all over the place.
Charlie: Well, all right.
Xander: We're all over the place.
Charlie: Xander, thank you for calling in and thank you for your, uh, your good question about the show. We appreciate it.
Rob: Thank you for your service at Amazon. Do they have you pissing in bottles when you're- when you're shipping shit or what? What do we got?
Xander: Yeah. All-all the time, yeah.
Rob: God bless you. Goodbye.
Charlie: Yeah, it's all right. Have a good day.
Xander Thank you.
Glenn: Bye.
Charlie: All right, who is our next caller? Guys it's, you know, fans, which is good, but I think we're gonna need to--
Glenn: What do you want? Just a straight up crazy person to call.
Charlie: I would prefer a–
Glenn: That's who you want, isn't it?
Charlie: I do want a crazy person to call, but no, I think it'd be-- Well, no one knows what to expect.
Glenn: Let's put a lunatic through. Let's put a lunatic through.
Rob: We can find- we can find through this process what is that we're looking for, right,-
Glenn: Ask for it.
Rob: -from the audience and say like, "Hey, we want your hot take." Lik, "Bring us a hot take," you know, next time or something.
Charlie: Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we want that, maybe we don't. We don't even know.
Rob: We don't know.
Charlie: We don't know what we want.
Rob: It might happen organically. Somebody might just-just--
Glenn: We're learning, we're learning as we go. I love it. I love it. Let's take another call, yeah? Okay, Waiting for that- waiting for th--
Megan: I've got one in a second. We've got waiting for thousands of calls by the way, guys.
Glenn: Okay. This is cool. Wow.
Megan: So uh, this is pretty exciting.
Glenn: Wonder if they’re gonna be any other Xandarians.
Rob: Now is there a screening process for this or are they just putting you through any--
Megan: Yes. I have two people screening the calls.
Rob: Okay, great.
Glenn: Megan, gave us the whole rundown. You weren't listening.
Rob: Yeah, but the listener-- Now, you just did it. They don't know. Fucking dick.
Megan: Welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on Rob, Charlie, and Glenn.
Rob: Fucking dick. Sorry, not you caller. I wasn't calling you a dick.
Charlie: Hey, who do we have on the line here? Who are we speaking to?
Eddie: This is Eddie Lowe from Long Island, New York.
Glenn: Eddie. And what's going on over there? What the fuck, huh?
Charlie: What part of Long Island are you from, Eddie?
Eddie: It's always in a, you know, it’s pretty–
Rob: A part where they don't have cell service.
Charlie: Now, Eddie, are you calling us from a landline on a fishing boat?
Glenn: What do you got, Eddie? You gotta question?
Rob: State your business. State your business.
Charlie: You got any questions for us, Eddie? You've something you wanna chat about?
Eddie: Yeah. I just wanted to say, you know, I freaking love you guys. I've probably seen the show, you know, every season, a hundred times. I'm like obsessed, man.
Glenn: Well, that's awesome, but-- All right, I got a question for you then Eddie. You know, what do you think about Whoopi Goldberg?
[laughter]
Eddie: Whoopsie?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. Whoopsie. There we go.
Glenn: Wh-Whoopi. Whoopi Goldberg.
Eddie: Oh, I thought you meant Whoopsie Goldberg.
Rob: Now, Eddie, on a scale of 1 to 10, one being sober and 10 being, like, stoned as hell, where are you on the spectrum right now?
Eddie: Well, I'm more, like, a- kind of on a permanent stoned.
Rob: Yeah.
Charlie: All right. Okay.
Rob: I can feel that. That's great.
Eddie: [chuckles] I can feel--
Rob: Now how much have we smoked? Have we--
Charlie: Are you eating? Are you eating or--
Rob: Are we eating or consuming it?
Glenn: Are you eating it or smoking it?
Eddie: I smoke. I like it with the straight up, you know. I like to see the buds and I like the, you know.
Glenn: Right. Old school.
Eddie: Roll a little J, you know. I didn't smoke yet today, but--
Charlie: You have a ritual. You, like, the ceremony.
Rob: Are you in your-- What age range? Well, how old are you?
Eddie: I just turned 30 this year.
Rob: Oh, congratulations. Welcome to adulthood.
Eddie: It's a dark time for me.
Glenn: Oh.
Rob: Yeah.
Eddie: I'm just fucking around. It's fine.
[laughter]
Charlie: All right, Eddie. Squeaking a joke in, my man. All right, Eddie, we have thousands of callers today. So, we're gonna move on. Enjoy your high, thanks for calling in, and we're gonna go to the next call, I think.
Rob: God bless you, Eddie.
Eddie: Love you, Charlie, Glenn. And I love you, Rob.
Rob: Love you, man. Thanks for watching.
Eddie: Thanks for--
Megan: You guys having fun?
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: Sure. Yeah.
Rob: We're hearing from fans of the show. It feels very good.
Glenn: It's pretty cool.
Rob: We don't really hear from fans. We don't really hear--
Glenn: You know, just-just--
Rob: You know, maybe just walking around.
[phone rings]
Glenn: Certainly, we just don't talk to fans on the phone.
Charlie: I like this phone ringing sound.
Glenn: I do too. I need that.
Rob: I love it.
Charlie: It's calm.
Megan: Welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie and Glenn.
Glenn: Hey, what's going on over there?
Charlie: Hello.
Daniella: Oh, my God.
Glenn: Yes.
Daniella: Hi, Megan.
Megan: Oh, hi.
[cheering]
Charlie: Hey, a Megan fan.
Glenn: All right.
Charlie: You spoke directly to Megan. Who are we speaking with today?
Daniella: I love Megan.
Megan: Aw.
Glenn: She’s the best.
Rob: So do we, so do we. Why don't you ask Megan a question?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Rob: Because she loves to talk, but she hasn't been able to, because we just talk over her.
Charlie: Megan's here-- You got a any? First of all, who are we speaking with today?
Daniella: I'm Daniella. I'm on the shitter.
[cheering]
Rob: Oh.
Charlie: Daniella, calling us from the shitter?
Glenn: Are you on the shitter? Wow, okay, cool. Are you actually taking a shit? Are you taking a shit or are you peeing?
Daniella: No, I'm taking a shit.
Charlie: All right, Daniella.
Rob: This is amazing.
Glenn: That is amazing.
Charlie: Is it a good one or have you been-- Are you hydrated or is it coming out runny and is it a mess?
Glenn: Are you gonna have to wipe a thousand times or is nothing gonna come out?
Charlie: Is it going okay or how you--
Daniella: It's one of those where you, like, sit down and then you kind of, like, get bored and you're just, like, there. And then I called in and I was like, "No way." I can't believe that I'm here.
Glenn: Oh. You're gonna have to coax it out. You're gonna have to coax it out.
Charlie: Well, if you need to stop to push or grunt, that's fine.
Glenn: Yeah.
Rob: I'm sorry, and I missed the first part. Has any been exported yet?
Daniella: Just like little, little, little, little dots.
Glenn: Nuggets, nuggets.
Rob: But you're looking for a buff, a full--
Glenn: She's getting milk duds.
Charlie: She's getting the little dots out.
Glenn: She's getting milk duds and she wants a full Snickers bars.
Rob: I’m gonna suggest that most.
Charlie: I'm sensing a hydration problem here.
Rob: I'm gonna suggest that most--
Daniella: Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. It's just morning, it's just morning. I gotta warm up.
Charlie: All right, all right.
Glenn: Okay, this is the first one. You're popping the cork. She's popping the cork. Sometimes this happens, right? The first shit of the day.
Daniella: I think y'all ruined it.
Glenn: Aww.
Rob: Aww.
Megan: Aww.
Charlie: All right. She-she had a question for Megan. She had--
Glenn: It went into hiding, it went into hiding.
Charlie: It went into hiding. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Daniella: It went into hiding. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: It got scared. It got scared. Your butt got scared.
Charlie: Now, why is it a morning poop for you? Where are you calling us from?
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: Are you in Hawaii?
Daniella: I'm calling from Arizona.
Charlie: Okay, okay.
Daniella: It's 10:30. So, it's not-- It's kinda of not late.
Glenn: That's a young person's morning, you know what I mean? We're old. We're up at 7:00 with the kids.
Charlie: Yeah. What's your question for Megan?
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: Because Megan deserves a question. You can ask her anything and she'll tell you.
Daniella: Okay. Megan, have you done your bowel movement for the day?
[laughter]
Glenn: This is amazing.
Rob: This is wild.
Megan: Yeah, yeah. I don't bring anything into this room other than enthusiasm for these guys.
Glenn: That's right. Yeah, yeah. Can't have poop in your body into a podcast.
Daniella: That's an incredible work ethic. You guys are so lucky to have her.
Glenn: I agree.
Charlie: Yeah, we know. We know. We know.
Rob: I have follow up question. Megan, which podcast did you call into while you were having a bowel movement?
Glenn: Yeah, who do you usually call?
Megan: Yeah. I don't know. I keep it to myself.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah.
Rob: That's fair.
Glenn: Okay. Well, listen. We hope that you can get a nice full Snickers bar's worth of poop out.
Charlie: Yep, we hope you have a full evacuation.
Glenn: You know what I mean?
Charlie: A complete elimination.
Daniella: Thank you guys. Y'all made my day. Y'all like- and then it's just started. This was fantastic.
Charlie: All right. Well, enjoy your bowel movement and thanks for calling the Sunny podcast.
Rob: Yeah, thank you.
Daniella: [chuckles] All right. All right, have a good one you guys, bye.
Glenn: Bye.
Charlie: Bye.
Rob: Bye.
Megan: Bye.
[laughter]
Rob: I loved that she left laughing. She left laughing. It's fun.
Charlie: All right. See, that's the kind of stuff you want.
Glenn: That's great.
Rob: She left laughing.
Charlie: She brought in a bit-- Do you think she was really pooping? I don't think she was really pooping.
Glenn: You don't think so? I think she was.
Rob: I-I do.
Charlie: You think she really was?
Glenn: I think she was.
Rob: I think she was.
Charlie: I think people, like, put a joke out there and then they're like, "Oh, I gotta stick with it."
Glenn: Maybe, maybe. I thought that was- I though that-- Well, I don't know. I think she might've been.
Charlie: She might've been. She might have sat down on the--
Rob: I'm choosing to believe she was.
Charlie: She sat down in the toilet and was like, "Oh, I'm gonna call this thing." She's like, "Oh, I'm getting the--"
Glenn: Yeah, she was checking her Instagram, which people often do on the shitter.
Charlie: On the toilet.
Glenn: And she saw our post.
Charlie: Called on a whim.
Rob: And maybe a fair--
[phone rings]
Rob: The only time I think I ever look at social media is when I'm on the toilet. This person could be on the toilet as well.
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Charlie: All right.
Megan: Welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie, and Glenn.
Glenn: Are you on the shitter?
Charlie: Who do we have right now. Who's speaking?
Wilson: You know, I was actually waiting. I just finished.
Charlie: Okay. It's going to become a theme.
Glenn: That is amazing.
Rob: I'm telling you, this is gonna happen more often than we think. Yeah. Because that's when people are looking at their phone.
Glenn: Yeah, they're on the shitter.
Charlie: And did it go well for you? Did you have a good movement? And, uh--
Wilson: Well, once I got the call or once they picked up saying that I'll get transferred, I kind of just did a half ass wipe and, you know.
Rob: Oh.
Charlie: Oh.
Glenn: Oh.
Wilson: I didn't want that echo to effect the podcast.
Glenn: Oh interesting.
Rob: Well, we appreciate that.
Charlie: After this you'll wipe the other half of your ass.
Glenn: Let me ask you something, man. Wha-what-- First of all, what's your name?
Wilson: My name is Wilson.
Glenn: Hey, Wilson. Cool name.
Wilson: Right on.
Glenn: So, question for you. Do you just use toilet paper and that's it or do you use baby wipes? I know some people use baby wipes.
Wilson: No, I do use the disposable wipes.
Glenn: The flushable ones?
Wilson: You know, I can clean up afterwards.
Glenn: You-you're not messing up your pipes, are you?
Wilson: Yeah, the flusha- the flushables. I'm not. No, no, no. Nothing. Safe for their environment and all, you know.
Glenn: Okay, cool.
Wilson: I am actually installing a bidet.
Charlie: Oh, that's the move.
Glenn: Yes, that is the move.
Rob: Baller.
Glenn: That's the one thing Europeans got right.
Rob: Now, where do you live, Wilson?
Wilson: I live in Hollywood at the moment.
Glenn: Oh, a local guy.
Charlie: Oh, a local call.
Glenn: What do you do? Are you in the biz? Are you in the biz?
Wilson: I am not in the business, but I'm actually a nurse. So, whenever, um, I actually listen to your guys' podcast on the way to work and then on the way home from work, so.
Glenn: Awesome.
Wilson: That's-- You know.
Rob: Yeah.
Wilson: Long time listener, you know, first time caller.
[laughter]
Charlie: Wilson, do you work in the hospital?
Wilson: I do work in the hospital, yeah. I'm in the emergency room.
Charlie: Wow.
Rob: Wow.
Glenn: How many gunshots do you see a day?
Wilson: Ooh, that's a good one. Um, we get a lot of walk-ins where--
Charlie: Walking in, having been shot?
Glenn: Holy shit.
Wilson: Cars pull up.
Charlie: And dump someone at the curb.
Wilson: Yeah. My friend-- Yeah, they dump somebody there.
Glenn: They don't come in with them? They don't park?
Charlie: Well, no, it's been some sort of illegal shooting situation. They don't want the cops asking a bunch of questions.
Glenn: Right.
Wilson: Yeah. As soon as they drop them off, they kind of just scurry away afterwards. But I've seen quite a few gunshots.
Glenn: But how many on average are you seeing a day? I'm dead serious.
Wilson: You can-- Well, let's say for a week, I work four days a week.
Glenn: Okay.
Wilson: You could probably average about like four to six within that week.
Rob: Wow.
Wilson: That's only on my shift. So, you know, you get, like, one here, two, and sometimes in a row.
Rob: And generally what shift are you working?
Wilson: What’s that?
Glenn: Yeah, what's your hours? What are your hours?
Rob: What are your hours?
Wilson: I'm graveyard, so.
Charlie: Wow.
Rob: Oh, damn.
Charlie: So, Wilson, I do have a very serious question to ask you. You know, we're talking about COVID, we're talking about, you know, gun usage and stuff. What percentage of people are coming into the ER with things stuck into their asses that are- they can't get out?
Glenn: Right, things that they've lodged in their assholes. Like, I've got a Lego in there. I swear to God, my kid did it.
Charlie: Yeah. I-I though- I thought it'd be fun to have this in my asshole and I'm finding out that it's not.
Wilson: That's really a rare occasion there, but I've seen things stuck in vaginas.
Charlie: Oh, okay.
Glenn: Oh, my God.
Charlie: So, you haven't seen a lot of ass play.
Glenn: What's the weirdest thing you've seen stuck in a vagina?
Wilson: Multiple tampons.
Charlie: Oh. Well, that's just sad.
Glenn: Heavy flow. Heavy flow. Heavy flow.
Rob: We were going for comedy.
Wilson: They actually forgot about them. They just didn't know why their stomach was hurting.
Glenn: Oh, my God.
Megan: I would just like to point out that you guys talked about shit for like so long with no gross reaction. And then tampons are mentioned and you guys are like, "No."
Glenn: Not its not the tampons. It's the multiple thing.
Meg: Yeah it is sad.
Charlie: It was sad. It was sad. It was sad that it wasn't someone's sexual ambition turned into a comedic tragedy.
Glenn: [laughs]
Rob: It was sad that, you know, someone was trying to stop--
Glenn: Sexual ambition.
Charlie: Wilson, we have a lot of callers today, but thank you for your service and your listening.
Wilson: Oh, yeah. No, thank you guys for entertaining, you know, me while I head home and, you know, have to de-stress a little bit.
Glenn: You got it, buddy.
Wilson: You guys help a lot. So, I appreciate you guys.
Glenn: Happy to be of service.
Rob: Frontline workers, man. Yeah. Awesome.
Charlie: Yeah, my man. Thank you, Wilson.
Glenn: All right, see you Wilson.
Megan: Thank you.
Glenn: Bye.
Wilson: Bye, guys.
Charlie: Great. I would've thought there would've been more stuff in people's asses. I would've thought that--
Rob: It's not a huge surprise--
Glenn: Is that a hole in that shirt? Is that-- What am I seeing there?
Rob: My phone.
Glenn: Oh, my God. I thought that was your skin. I was like-- I thought--
Charlie: Do you guys know why I thought that? Because I have another friend-
Glenn: About what?
Charlie: -who works in the ER in Rhode Island who said all the time people come in with shit in their asses, stuck in their asses. So, apparently in LA we know how to get stuff out of our asses.
Glenn: Well, if you put the right thing in there, the right shaped thing in there, because that's what you want, and then you shouldn't have any problem getting it out. Always have a backup plan, too. Tie a string to it.
Charlie: I think the ass has a locking mechanism.
Glenn: Tie a fucking string to it.
Charlie: I think the ass has a locking mechanism that once it's gone in, it's like a vacuum and its like--
Glenn: That's why you need the string.
Charlie: I know, but then you're gonna make it worse if you pull it out.
Glenn: Well, yes, if you put like, you know barbs in it that go backwards, yeah.
Charlie: No. It's like a Chinese finger trap. Like, what's that, uh--
Glenn: Yeah. The harder you pull the tighter it gets.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie: Anyway, Rob, we're getting-- Are we getting too blue for you?
Glenn: Is that how the asshole- is that how the asshole works? It's like a Chinese finger trap.
Charlie: I just want to hear, Rob. Is this too blue for you? Are you–are you wanting something more serious than this.
Glenn: [laughs] Are you getting- are you getting embarrassed? Are you getting- are you getting flushed?
Charlie: I know you don't wanna be the pee-pee, poo-poo, asshole guy.
Glenn: Oh, I know. Yeah, that's true. Let's talk about something wholesome.
Rob: No, not wholesome, but just-- Whatever, I'm into it.
Glenn: All right, Megan, let's take another call. Let's talk assholes. You really should be over there eating crackers though like Frank in the after hours.
Megan: Dead air.
Glenn: Dead air.
Charlie: It would be cool if you- it would be cool if you were doing in our thing, plugging your thing into the thing.
Rob: We could get a prop, like, switchboard.
Charlie: You want a prop switchboard with the lights and--
Megan: Do this.
Glenn: That'd be fun.
Megan: I always wanted to be that. "Just a moment," you know.
[phone rings]
Rob: Just a moment, love.
Glenn: Just a moment. One moment, I'll transfer you.
Megan: Welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie, and Glenn.
Glenn: What is going on?
Charlie: Hello?
Glenn: Hello, caller. What do you got?
Wilfredo: Hi, hello?
Glenn: What's up?
Charlie: Who are we speaking with today?
Glenn: Who are we speaking with?
Wilfredo: Um, my name's Wilfredo.
Glenn: Wilfredo.
Charlie: Wilfredo. Is that your first name or is that both names?
Wilfredo: That is my first name. I get that a lot, but it is my first name.
Rob: All right.
Charlie: Where you calling us from today?
Wilfredo: I'm calling from New York.
Charlie: All right, New York.
Glenn: What part of New York? New York state, New York city?
Wilfredo: New York City. I'm actually currently at my job.
Rob: Oh, yeah.
Glenn: Uh-oh. Where do you work?
Wilfredo: Listen, I saw the tweet. I saw the tweet and I was like, "I'm gonna call." I'm gonna put my headphones in, you know, I have long hair, I can hide it. I'm getting away with it.
Charlie: Are you gonna get fired if your boss knows you're on-
Glenn: Don't get fired for this. Don't get fired for this, man.
Charlie: -on a talk show right now? Or whatever show this is.
Wilfredo: Oh, I'm not gonna get fired.
Glenn: Oh, he's an essential- he's essential to the organization.
Rob: Don't tell us exactly where you are, but, like, what kind of business is this?
Charlie: Yeah, what do you do?
Wilfredo: It's retail.
Rob: Okay.
Charlie: Oh, yeah. So, you can do it at retail.
Glenn: Okay, what's the deal? You selling shirts? You selling sandwiches? What are you doing?
Wilfredo: Yeah, it's clothes. I work at a- yeah, I work at a-- I'm not gonna name the place.
Rob: That's fair.
Charlie: Are you up on fifth avenue? Are you in one of the big fancy fifth avenue ones or are you, you know, downtown?
Wilfredo: Oh, no, no, no, no.
Glenn: No.
Rob: Oh, okay. All right. So, you're just talking to yourself right now. Are you out on the floor right now, talking to yourself?
Wilfredo: Nothing fancy. Sorry to disappoint.
Glenn: Yeah, are you on the floor?
Wilfredo: No. I'm a back stock guy. That's why I feel so confident in getting away with this.
Charlie: Nice, Wilfredo. Living on the edge, man.
Glenn: I bet you can fold the shit out of a shirt, can't you? You can fold the fuck out of a shirt.
Wilfredo: Oh, you don't even know how good I could fold a shirt.
Glenn: Buddy, do you have one of those-- Do you have one of those, like, square plastic things that you fold a shirt on or do you just fucking do it by hand?
Wilfredo: Oh, we have them, buddy. I don't need them.
Rob: Oh, yeah, yeah.
Charlie: Yes, Wilfredo. Folding the shit outta shirts on the daily.
Charlie: That’s a skill for life. That is a skill for life, because that applies not only to work, but also home life, you know. You can have a nice drawer full of really well folded clothes.
Glenn: Wilfredo, wait, wait, hold on a second now. Can you fold a shirt expertly without actually laying it out on a table? Can you just do it by hand on your fucking chest and your stomach. Can you do that?
Wilfredo: Oh, yeah. I can do it full on in the air, buddy.
Glenn: In the fucking air.
Charlie: Like it's fucking pizza.
Wilfredo: Using the chin. I would, like, I'mma--
Glenn: He's fucking just throws it in the air and it comes- and it lands in his hand, folded.
Charlie: Folded shirt and goes straight to the retail.
Glenn: That, by the way, would be an amazing trick if you could just figure out how to fucking throw it in the air like a pizza and it would land in your hand, like, all folded and shit.
Charlie: That would be greatest. You would be an internet star.
Rob: Wilfredo, what's your favorite episode of this show?
Glenn: Oh, wow.
Charlie: Oh interesting.
Glenn: I don't know, just starting to pander, okay.
Wilfredo: That's a good question. Um, I will say, because of its most recent airing, I will say, um, the finale of the newest season.
Glenn: Oh.
Charlie: Wow, Wilfredo. Thank you, man.
Glenn: Was it Charlie's Oscar-winning emotional performance at the end or was it the chuckles that you got?
Wilfredo: No, that's exactly what it was for me. Um, that's what I love about this show, you know. It has so much heart within, like, the mess of what the show is. And, um, on my break, I was watching the episode and I started crying.
Glenn: Oh, Wilfredo.
Rob: Do you have a tough relationship with your father, Wilfredo?
Wilfredo: What was that?
Rob: How's your relationship with your father?
Wilfredo: Oh, it's good. My relationship with my father is good. Not as of late.
Glenn: Uh-oh.
Charlie: Okay.
Wilfredo: But, yeah, my parents are going through this thing, as of late.
Charlie: Are they going through a divorce?
Wilfredo: No, but they should be.
Charlie: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Rob: Yeah. I know that. I know that one.
Charlie: Wilfredo, thank you for your kind words about that episode. That means a lot to us. That's what we're trying to do. We're trying to make you happy or sad.
Wilfredo: Yeah. I think, especially because I just came back from a trip from El Salvador and I was with my parents and my sisters, and we had a bunch of time together and that trip for me and my father kind of strained our relationship a little bit.
Glenn: Oh.
Wilfredo: So, coming back and watching this episode, I was like, "Oh, I did not know those feelings were in there, but they came out."
Glenn: Oh, that's good.
Charlie: That means you care about your father.
Glenn: Emotional release.
Charlie: How old are you?
Wilfredo: I'm 29.
Glenn: Right on, man.
Rob: Young man.
Charlie: Young man.
Glenn: Well, listen, I hope things, uh, you know, improve between your parents or that they go through with the divorce and things improve after that, but, you know, there's always plenty of time to get your relationship back on track with your dad.
Wilfredo: Yeah, absolutely.
Glenn: And I hope that happens. Hey, listen buddy, thanks for calling in.
Wilfredo: And I'm-I'm glad I haven't been caught this entire time.
Charlie: All right. Don't get fired, Wilfredo.
Glenn: Yeah.
Wilfredo: All right.
Rob: Yeah. Good luck, buddy.
Glenn: See you, man.
Rob: Call your dad. See you.
Megan: Guys, we've had 5,608 callers so far. So--
Rob: That's a lot of callers.
Megan: When you're ready for another one.
Glenn: We're ready.
Megan: All right.
Rob: Let’s go.
Charlie: All right.
[phone rings]
Megan: Welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie, and Glenn.
Dina: Hello?
Glenn: Well, hello.
Charlie: Hello, it’s you.
Dina: Hello, boys. Oh, my God, how are you?
Glenn: We're great.
Charlie: Who are we speaking with today?
Dina: My name is Dina. A very long, long, long time Sunny viewer and big fan. How are you guys? Oh, my God.
Glenn: We're good. How long, Dina? How old are you?
Dina: I'm okay. Well, you're gonna think I'm a child, because I'm 21.
Rob: What? You- you can't-- A long time viewer?
Glenn: Well, when you're 21--
Charlie: It's possible if you started when you were 10.
Rob: Okay.
Dina: Yes, essentially. I was watching The Gang, uh, The Gang Gets Racist when I was probably way too young.
Rob: Oh, yeah.
Charlie: Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Glenn: How old were you and what was your impression at the time? Did you think it was funny right away or did it take you a second to kind of key in to the humor?
Dina: I mean, okay, of course it took a little bit for me to be like, "Okay, are these guys actually bad individuals,-
Glenn: Right.
Dina: -or we trying to poke fun at stuff here?"
Charlie: Right.
Dina: Um, but the first episode I watched it alone, which I think is the best kind of experience to have with that episode, because, you know, you're like, "Should I be laughing? Should I not be laughing?"
Glenn: [laughs] Right. You don't wanna be judged.
Dina: But, um-- But, no, it definitely- it-it-it hit me funny right away. I mean, I binge watched the first season in bed. I'm currently sick with COVID right now, and been binge watching. I mean, I literally watched every season, every day, like-- [chuckles]
Glenn: Well, listen, what kind of variant do you have? Which variant do you have? Do you got the Delta or you got the Omicron?
Dina: Uh, Omicron. I'm pretty sure, Omicron.
Glenn: How do you know- how do you know? How do you know?
Dina: Okay. Well, with the Delta, it's more supposed to be respiratory, and Omicron,-
Glenn: Okay. So, you're guessing.
Dina: -you lose your taste and smell. So, I have taste and smell. My girlfriend tested positive, like, three days ago. I tested negative actually, but I'm, like, sick. So, I'm a little bit lost.
Glenn: Okay, do you--
Charlie: You got a COVID classic, you know. A COVID original.
Glenn: Because-because here's the thing, you know, I don't mean to stir things up or anything here, but, uh, you know, there is--
Dina: Go ahead, Glenn.
[laughter]
Glenn: Does anyone--
Rob: I like Dina. I like Dina.
Charlie: She knows it. Yeah, she knew- she knew Glenn was gonna get sassy.
Dina: I love what you bring to the podcast. I always say Glenn that when you bring like, the logic, you bring the right questions. Like, I love your logic.
Charlie: The logic?
Rob: Well, he's the host. We've established, Dina. He's the host.
Charlie: Get her off the phone. Get her off the phone.
Glenn: Yeah, Dina, I-I-- You are--
Dina: Charlie, Charlie, I love you. Do not get me wrong. And Rob, you're my favorite character, so.
Charlie: Get her off the phone.
Rob: Dina. Dina.
Glenn: Keep her on the phone. Keep her on the phone.
Charlie: Dina, we're just- we're just kidding. Where you call- where you calling from?
Glenn: No, wait. Now, hold on, hold on. I got to ask this question.
Rob: Wait- wait- wait-
Glenn: I wanted to ask her this question- I wanted to ask her this question.
Dina: You guys are screaming at me, look,I’m not in an right now, so keep yelling at me.
Rob: Yeah, this is why you-- Yeah.
Charlie: We're just kidding, Dina. We're joking around.
Rob: The podcast is exactly like the show. Just us talking over--
Glenn: Just us yelling at ea--
Rob: Before Glenn goes on a rant, why am I your favorite character? I don't know. Just wanted to know.
Charlie: No, no, before that, where are you calling us from today?
Glenn: No, no, before that--
[laughter]
Dina: Uh, yeah. Rob's like, okay, so, you gonna stroke my ego or what?
Rob: No, no. You--
Glenn: Oh.
Charlie: You're the best.
Glenn: She is sassy. I like Dina.
Rob: You're sassy. You gotta come- you gotta be a regular guest.
Charlie: Dina don't fuck around.
Glenn: Dina don't fuck around.
Rob: Dina don't fuck around.
Dina: No, I don't.
Rob: Where do you live, Dina?
Dina: Um, I'm calling from North Carolina right now.
Rob: What part of North Carolina?
Dina: I was born in New York, I've been in Philly plenty of times, but, um, yeah, but no, I grew up in North Carolina for the most part.
Glenn: What do you do for work, Dina?
Dina: Well, actually, I'm 21, so I'm in my final year of college.
Charlie: She's 21. She's--
Glenn: Oh, okay.
Dina: I'm studying French and English,-
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Charlie: All right.
Dina: -and, hopefully, trying to move overseas one day. I don't know.
Glenn: Well, listen, your English is great.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got that down.
Glenn: Uh, so, you know, I don't know where your from, but you got the English part, I wouldn't worry too much about that.
Dina: Oh, thank you.
Rob: If I'm your favorite character, I will say that you're my favorite caller so far.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. And I will say you have terrible taste. Bye, Dina.
Glenn: No no, no, Dina.
Charlie: I'm just kidding, Rob's great. I love Rob. I love--
Rob: She's been-- She has be-- She did not lose her sense of taste. She has a different strain of--
Glenn: You noticed that she didn't say she-
Dina: No.
Glenn: -that, Rob, you were her favorite actor. That you were just her favorite character.
Charlie: She lost her sense of smell-- She didn't lose her sense of smell, she clearly lost her sense of taste. Oh, bing, za-zap-zap, rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tao.
Glenn: Zing-zing-zing.
[phone rings]
Rob: We got another call.
Meg: Welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie, and Glenn.
Glenn: Hi.
Charlie: Hello.
Rob: [laughs]
Josiah: Hi.
Glenn: Hi.
Josiah: Oh, my god.
Glenn: What's up, dude?
Charlie: All right, my man. Who are we speaking with today?
Josiah: Uh, my name is Josiah. I am just super thrilled that I actually made it on today.
Glenn: Josi-Josiah?
Charlie: Josiah.
Rob: Where are you calling from Josiah?
Josiah: Uh, Grand Rapids, Michigan. It's--
Rob: Oh, my God.
Glenn: Oh.
Charlie: Oh.
Rob: The Midwest is-- Michigan in particular. I love it.
Glenn: Michigan, is all over this thing. I love it.
Charlie: The midwest is killing it. The phone lines in the midwest.
Rob: Josiah, give us a hot take.
Glenn: Yeah, man. Give us a take.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. Josiah, what's going on? What do you wanna talk about?
Rob: Is the Earth round or flat?
Charlie: Okay, round or flat Earth. Go.
Josiah: Um, it's-it's definitely flat, that's for sure.
Glenn: Right. I like this guy already.
Charlie: Absolutely. And then, are parts of it round?
Josiah: Um, the good parts are.
Charlie: Okay.
Rob: Okay, okay, okay.
Charlie: Josiah, flat-earther from Michigan. Um, what's up, man?
Glenn: [chuckles]
Josiah: Not much, man. Just, uh, actually, at work right now. I, uh, supposed to be going into a meeting, and I was like, I got a very important call that I'm on hold for, so.
Glenn: Good. Good, good, good.
Rob: That's amazing. So, are they waiting for you to have the meeting?
Charlie: What are you meeting about?
Glenn: Are you the CEO? Are they just fucking sitting there, tapping their fi- uh, uh, you know, fingers on the counter, waiting for you to show up?
Josiah: Nah, dude. I'm just a sales guy, but, um, uh, I'm gonna, just, hopefully, uh, not lose my job, because, um, I'm gonna be late for that. But, um, really, honestly, this is worth it.
Glenn: Buddy, if you are selling whatever it is that you're selling, on the regular, you're not gonna lose your job. What are you selling?
Josiah: Oh, I know, um actually it's-
Charlie: I hope it- I hope it's not globes.
Josiah: It's not what?
Charlie: I hope it's not globes.
Glenn: Nah, he's selling Earth coins.
Charlie: Flat globes.
Glenn: What, uh--
Josiah: Absolutely. I wi- I wish it was. Uh, nah, I mean, we, uh, we do a lot of IT and cybersecurity, uh, for West Michigan, which apparently is a big thing. So, that's what we do.
Glenn: Oh, okay. All right.
Charlie: People trying to crack in to West Michigan.
Glenn: Gotta keep the Russians out. Gotta keep the Russians out. Good for you.
Josiah: Russians and Chinese.
Glenn: Okay, you got a question for us or-- Wha-what-what's going on?
Josiah: Yeah. Which one of you guys is most like your character on the show?
Glenn: Mm, uh, I, we, uh--
Rob: I know that.
Glenn: None of us really. I mean, uh, none of us, honestly, that-that-that's the tru-- Well--
Rob: You have a take?
Charlie: Yeah. I-I mean, we all have aspects of ourself that we bring to the character, but I don't know. I mean, man--
Rob: Who-who do you-- Glenn's got a take though. Who-who's- what's your take?
Glenn: Well, I just was thinking, like, I do sometime-- I mean, yeah. I mean, there's aspects of my personality that are in the character, for sure.
Rob: I was gonna say Glenn. I was gonna say Glenn-
Charlie: I was gonna say Glenn too,-
Rob: -I was gonna say Glenn.
Charlie: -but I didn't wanna do that to him.
Rob: I didn't want to either, but I saw in his eyes that he was taking- he was taking responsibility.
Glenn: Well, uh, uh, you know what it is? The-the-the frustration- the-the extreme frustration over little things that I shouldn't get so bent out of shape about. That I share with the character. The-the overall--
Josiah: I could- I could see that. I could see that.
Glenn: Yeah, but, like, uh, all the other stuff, no. I mean, I'm-I'm not, uh, I'm not like that guy. I'm not like that guy.
Charlie: Guy's pretty crazy. You don't wanna be too much like that guy.
Josiah: No, of course not. The amount of times I scream idiots and savages on a daily basis is–
[laughter]
Charlie: Yeah. It applies to so much. That's the thing though. It applies. It so often applies.
Rob: There are a lot of idiots and savages out there.
Josiah: Absolutely.
Glenn: Charlie, uh, uh, how-how did- that was-- I feel like that was something that you came up with when we were writing that episode on- I-I- the-the-- You kind of-- Because that was the first time that I feel like my character ever truly ranted and raved.
Charlie: I-- Well, see, the thing is, I-I think I get to channel some of my psychosis through your character too, which is a fun thing. Which is sometimes, I'm like, well, I sometimes feel crazy, like a maniac,-
Glenn: Yeah.
Charlie: -but, it's not gonna- it's not gonna seem right, like, but can I pitch you some stuff? But I don't know. I don't totally recall that. That might've been--
Glenn: I-I-I seem to recall it being you having a very specific thing. You were like, "I think Glenn can do this. I think he's got this gear." And you wrote this thing, and it- where I just went absolutely crazy, and you told- and you were just like, "Go nut- just go fucking nuts."
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: And I was like, "All right, let's just try it and let's see what happens." And then all of a sudden--
Rob: And every once in a while, you'll come to us and be like, "Guys, I just don't feel like, I wanna go, like, in this direction." And we'll be like, "Okay, okay, okay." And then we'll just, like, write it. And then you'll be like, "I don't know if I wanna do it." We're like, "Come on, man. Just do it. Just do it." And it's always funny. It gets funnier and funnier.
Glenn: Yeah, I--
Charlie: It is good.
Glenn: Jesus, I don't know.
Charlie: Josiah, you should get to your meeting. Don't get fired while we compliment Glenn.
Rob: Yeah.
Josiah: I will try my best not to.
Charlie: Or we compliment each other.
Josiah: Um, we'll kind of see what happens from there.
Rob: Okay.
Josiah: I mostly also I just have to pee, and I've just been, uh–
Charlie: Oh, go pee. Don't-don't hold it. You're gonna hurt yourself, pal.
Rob: Why don't you go and use the restroom?
Glenn: All right, listen, man. We're not gonna wait for you to pee, uh, but, uh, we love you, and, uh, thank you for calling in.
Rob: Thanks, Josiah.
Josiah: Yeah, I love you guys too. Thank you so much.
Charlie: Bye, Josiah.
Meg: Bye.
Rob: I wanna pee-pee and poo-pee.
Charlie: Guys, are we ever gonna go back to just talking about the episodes, like, this is too fun.
[laughter]
Rob: This is way fun, and I think if we get a little structure to it and we come up with some-some questions or--
Glenn: Yeah. I think-I think-I think we- every once in a while, we just do one of these. Why not?
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: Why the fuck not?
Charlie: Too fun.
Rob: Yeah. We should do a whole episode where we have people call in and tell us what we're doing wrong.
Glenn: Yeah, uh, absolutely.
Charlie: Absolutely. Why not?
Glenn: We should have themes right? So-so, like, this episode you call in, you tell us what we've done wrong.
Rob: Yeah.
Glenn: This episode you call in--
Rob: For example, they'll say, "Don't hit the table when you're talking," right?
Glenn: Right, because it--
Rob: Like, because it-
[everyone banging the table]
Meg: Oh, please don't do that. Please don't do that.
Rob: Yeah, something like that.
Glenn: Okay, I'm sorry.
Charlie: Oh you don’t like it.
Rob: But it could be about what we're doing wrong with the podcast. It could be what we're doing wrong with the show.
Glenn: Right.
Rob: It could be what we're doing wrong in life.
Glenn: Yes.
[phone rings]
Rob: All right, we got a call.
Glenn: That is a great ringtone.
Rob: It's a great ringtone.
Charlie: It is a really soothing--
Meg: Welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie, and Glenn.
Glenn: You sure are.
Charlie: You got through. You did it.
Glenn: Oh, you sure are, you go- you did it. You might be our last call.
Jimbo: Amazing.
Charlie: Could be our last call. We'll see.
Glenn: Who we talking- who we talking to?
Jimbo: Could be the last call. Wow.
Charlie: Well, you know, we'll do more of these,-
Glenn: We'll see.
Charlie: -but we can only do so many-
Glenn: Well, for today. For today.
Charlie: -in one day.
Glenn: What's your name, man?
Jimbo: I'm, Jimbo. How you guys doing?
Charlie: Jimbo.
Glenn: Jimbo.
Rob: Jimbo.
Charlie: Jimbo, is it on the driver's licenses, Jimbo or is Jimbo a nickname?
Jimbo: Uh, no, it's total fake name. I just totally made it up.
Charlie: Oh.
Glenn: Oh.
Rob: Oh.
Glenn: Shit, man. I'm from Alabama, I thought maybe that was your real name.
Charlie: And is-that- i-i-is that, because you're worried that you're gonna get, like, some hot water for being on this or you wanna just stay--
Jimbo: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Can't-
Charlie: Because you're at work?
Jimbo: -can't give out my real identity.
Charlie: Because you're at work?
Glenn: What part of the country are you calling from, Jimbo?
Charlie: Can you give that out?
Jimbo: I'm calling from Chicago.
Charlie: All right.
Rob: The Midwest.
Charlie: Jimbo from Chicago.
Rob: We are a Midwest show. I love it.
Glenn: Almost everybody who has called in has been from the Midwest. There was a couple of exceptions, but almost everyone else was from the Midwest.
Charlie: Yeah.
Glenn: It's wild.
Charlie: Jimbo, what's going on?
Jimbo: Yeah. We don’t have shit to do right now. It's cold out, we got snow,-
Charlie: Yeah.
Jimbo: -nothing to do. Nothing to do, but sit inside and call you guys.
Charlie: All right. All right. And la--
Rob: So, what do you want?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah. Jimbo, you-you're-you're lying about your name. Why? What have you done?
Glenn: Yeah, what's your agenda?
Charlie: What have you--
Jimbo: [laughs]
Charlie: Is the government looking for you? Uh, are-are-
Glenn: Are you on the run?
Charlie: -are monsters looking for you, Jimbo?
Jimbo: Mo-- You say monsters? Yeah, yeah, the monsters.
Rob: The monsters.
Charlie: Yeah. Yeah.
Rob: The monsters of–
Glenn: I said Mobsters.
Rob: You guys- you guys aren't-aren't tracking my location on the call, are you?
Glenn: We might. We are.
Charlie: We are. We are triangulating as we speak. [laughs]
Glenn: That's right. They're gonna get you, because we know where you are now.
Charlie: Why did they say triangulate? They do a series of triangles to get someone's--
Glenn: Yeah, they can- they can-- Yeah.
Charlie: Why don't they circula- circularate someone?
Glenn: I think- I think what it is, is, like--
Jimbo: [laughs]
Charlie: A triangle?
Glenn: You need a tri- you need-- The least you can-- Right. Look, if you picture a triangle, like the three dots of-of the ends of a triangle,-
Charlie: Uh-huh.
Glenn: -and you- then you go straight to the center of that, that's where the guy is. By the way, they're on-they're on their way to your house right now, Jimbo.
[laughter]
Jimbo: How-how much time do I got, guys?
Glenn: Two minutes. I'd say two minutes.
Charlie: Jimbo, do you have any questions for us?
Rob: What do you want, Jimbo?
Glenn: What are your dreams? Tell us about your dreams.
Jimbo: Oh. My-my ambition is to- is to be on the show someday.
Glenn: Oh. You are an actor?
Charlie: This is-- Are you an- are you an actor, Jimbo?
Jimbo: Uh, I want, you know, when I was a little kid, you know, we used to make some stupid home movies. That's about the extent of my acting career.
Glenn: Oh, that was-- Hey, listen, that's what we did. We made a stupid home movie. And--
Charlie: Although most people who appear on our show, Jimbo, have dedicated their lives to, uh, being performers. So--
Glenn: Right. That's true. So, don't insult us.
Charlie: You know, you got some competition, but you're here on our-our podcast, which is in a sense like being on the show.
Rob: Yeah. What-- Is this the kind of performance you would give on the show?
Jimbo: Uh, you know, it depends what kind of character I'd be, you know. I-I imagine you guys would probably just have me be, you know, be some guy in the corner for half a second shot. So, that's really, uh, really feel my acting abilities.
Charlie: That we could probably-- That I think we could do.
Glenn: We might be able to pull that off, but we don't know who you are.
Rob: Well, Jimbo, this has been fun.
Charlie: Jimbo, we're gonna have to let you go, but only because, uh,-
Glenn: We're out of time.
Charlie: -we're out of time.
Jimbo: You're out of time? All right. Well, I think I got another minute before, uh, the authorities get to me.
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Glenn: Grab your go bag.
Charlie: Go head for the fire escape. I know it's chilly out there. So, bring a coat, make sure you have your socks and shoes up.
Glenn: You have a go bag, right?
Charlie: You're going to wanna scuttle down that fire escape with as little noise as possible. If there's a trash can or something you can plummet into, that's gonna be good for a softer landing.
Jimbo: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just hop- hop right into the trash right with my go bag. Be good to go.
Glenn: Okay.
Jimbo: Get outta here. Yeah.
Glenn: Okay. Great. Well, hey, listen, best-best to luck to you. I-I have a feeling they're gonna catch you, but best of luck.
Charlie: Bye. Bye, Jimbo. Thanks for calling in.
Jimbo: All right. I'm fast. I'm fast.
Charlie: All right, get going.
Glenn: All right. See you pal.
Charlie: Well, guys, have we done it? Is this-- This is, uh, you know--
Rob: This is the first one. I-- Yeah. I think once we come up with a little bit more structure, I think we--
Glenn: I'd- I like the idea of there being a specific theme to the calling.
Rob: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Glenn: Right?
Rob: Mm-hmm.
Charlie: All right. So, I think that's it. And, uh,-
Rob: Yeah.
Charlie: -let's call it a podcast.
Rob: We'll call it a podcast and we'll do it again.
[music]
Megan: Oh, um. He-hello.
Steven Spielberg: Hey, it's Steven Spielberg, It's your old buddy. Hey, guys, how's it going today? I heard you guys were doing a calling show. Got very excited about it. Great idea, by the way. Very original. Uh, yeah, nobody's ever done that, I don't think, right? I mean, uh--
Megan: Oh. I'm-I'm sorry, Steven. The guys have already left.
Steven: Are you f- are you fucking kidding me, Megan? Seriously. Put me through, the guy aren't even there. Goddamn it. I've gotta put them in my next movie.
[End Credits]