On the pod, Rob regales the guys with a story about an altercation at a hamburger store. You might say it's the origin story of Rob Justice.

Charlie: Let's get into it 'cause we got a little, uh--

Glen: Are we rolling?

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: -a limited- we got limited time here.

Glen: Oh, yeah.

Charlie: So let's just--

Glen: Oh, do we? I thought you pushed your- you pushed your--

Charlie: Well, I-I-- An extra 15 minutes, but still, you know?

Glen: Hey, all right.

Charlie: Yeah, you know, uh, look, we gotta talk about Rob's parking job this morning 'cause it was fantastic fan- when you- when you pull into a garage. By the way, when I pulled in, it was the only car in the garage.

[laughter]

Rob: So when-when I pulled in, there was no cars there. And I was like, Oh my God, I gotta do this as quickly as possible and get outta the garage 'cause it won't be funny if they pulled in right now.

Charlie: Yeah, it's very funny when there was no cars.

Rob: There was no cars there.

Charlie: So for-for listener at home, Rob, uh, parked sideways, taking up two spots.

Rob: Diagonally.

Charlie: Yeah. Diagonally.

Glen: Sideways would've been incredible.

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, diagonally and-and specifically the spots that are labeled, uh, Charlie and Glen, he took our spots and, uh, double parked, and boy, it made my morning man, it made my day.

Glen: Did it? I had the exact opposite reaction. I was just, I was like, "This is so fucking annoying."

Charlie: I almost went to Rob's spot and did the same thing over there.

Rob: To take off so that I had nowhere to park.

Charlie: So that you had nowhere to park. And I was like, Ah, now it's fine. Just the one--

Glen: I would've come in furious.

Charlie: I know, I know.

Glen: Furious.

Charlie: And so I let it be. And so I let it be.

[laughter]

Glen: There is- there is a world in which, uh, maybe I would've found that funny. Uh, and for some reason this morning, and I wasn't, not in a bad mood or anything, I wasn't in a bad mood when I showed up, but for some reason, I didn't find it funny. I-I-I recognize that it is funny. I will say that, but it's like one of those- it's one of those jokes where it's like- it's like- it's like if somebody pushes you in the pool, you know, everybody thinks that's fucking funny, but it's like, you just pushed me in the pool motherfucker. You pushed me in the pool. I'm fully clothed. You know what I mean? Like--

Charlie: Yeah.

Glen: I gotta-- I need to change my attitude or something. I saw actually, yeah, I was, Jill and I were, were in Mexico and we were at a hotel and we were hanging out by the pool, just chilling. And there was some like, wedding party that was there. And um, and uh, there was one morning where, uh, you know, it was like a group of people in their 30s. And this one girl pushed her girlfriend into the pool. She was fully clothed. And I was like, "Oh, this will be interesting. I wonder how she's gonna react." She's-she just laughed.

Rob: Yeah.

Glen: She laughed. And she just was like, "Well, I guess this is a swimming dress now." And everybody else laugh. And then she just kept swimming.

Rob: Yeah.

Glen: And I was like, Man, I wish I could be that person. I'd be furious.

Rob: You gotta know the audience experience. I know, but you gotta know the audience. I know I would never do that to you, but I have like four friends. I would do that to. Our friend Matt Manock, for example, right?

Glen: Oh, yeah.

Rob: Like, you could throw him into the middle of the ocean off of- off of a cruise liner and he would think it was funny. Right. And I don't- and I know that I would not ever do that to you because you wouldn't find it funny. But this morning I knew for a fact that Charlie would find it funny.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And you, I thought 50-50.

Glen: About 50-50 chance.

Rob: 50-50.

Charlie: Well, this is the problem with the comedy, right? This is not all jokes are for everybody. And, uh, you know, there's a lot of, uh, there might be people out there that, that can never find parking that are finding this conversation really upsetting.

Glen: Oh yeah.

Charlie: Because they're like-

Glen: I'm that person.

Charlie: -you know, you know, for-for most of us, parking is very difficult and you motherfuckers have a garage with just parks galore and you think it's- it's fun to park your car however you want. You're not being sensitive to me.

Rob: Well, now there are plenty of spots in that garage, I think.

Glen: Yeah. But they're not- they're not- they're bad spots. They're not good spots. So that's- that's part of it too, But also like so now you, because I'm like, I'm not gonna have somebody jammed in next to me so I just took up two spots.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glen: I took up two spots too.

Charlie: Okay.

Rob: All right. Okay.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: It happens. Well, this actually has everything to do with this crazy thing that happened last night. And I wanted to bring it up to you because I was thinking, Wow, this is kind of falls in line.

Glen: That's quite a buildup.

Rob: Yeah, exactly. With like the-this parking thing that is like, so stupid. But also, uh, but, but it's something like people have to deal with on an everyday basis. And I don't know if I did the right thing, but I-I- and I want to get counsel. I want to hear your- I wanna hear everybody's point of view. I would love to hear Megan's point of view as well because I want to figure out how I can- how I can move forward should a-a something like this happen again.

Glen: Mm.

Rob: I will say it was the closest that I came to a physical fistfight in 10 years. Okay.

Charlie: I was so excited about this. All right. Let's get into it.

Rob: I was-- We were milliseconds away.

Glen: When did this happen?

Rob: Last night.

Glen: Last night? Okay, okay.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Okay. So--

Charlie: You and Catlin?

[laughter]

[music]

Rob: Catlin left on Saturday morning-

Charlie: Okay.

Rob: -to go shoot a movie in Canada.

Charlie: All right.

Rob: Leaving me solely in charge of the safety of our boys.

Glen: Wow.

Rob: Now I'm gonna tell you. Well, there's, uh, we don't have anybody helping or anything like that over- certainly over the weekend. So it's just the three of us, you know, doing our- doing our thing. And we had this plan to go to dinner to In-N-Out Burger, which is like an exciting thing to go, you know, Sunday night-

Charlie: You're taking the kids to a burger joint and you're gonna get them burgers.

Rob: There's a lot of people that are listening to this that have never heard of In-N-Out Burger. I'd never heard of--

Glen: No, I think most people have heard of it

Charlie: It's a California burger chain. It's very good.

Rob: Very good.

Glen: It's high- it's a higher quality.

Rob: Yes, and people love it. They love it.

Charlie: We are not sponsored by In-N-Out so let's not--

Rob: No.

Glen: My kids love it too.

Charlie: Let's not go crazy.

Rob: It's good. So now this one is the heart of We- of Westwood. Okay. Right. For Westwood people uh, it's- that's where UCLA is. It's a like-

Glen: College.

Rob: -nice area. It's a college.

Charlie: College Burger joint.

Rob: So we pull up, it's like five 30, but now it's daylight savings. So it's nighttime.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: The kids are jazzed.

Glen: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Axle's sitting in the front seat, He's 11. Leo's in the back seat, he's 9. And we-we pull up and we realize, Oh, as In-N-Out always is, there's a line of cars.

Glen: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Rob: And so the way that it's set up is that you have to go around the block, basically. So you gotta-- I see that there's a line of cars. I'm like, the kids have been looking forward to it all day. We're just gonna sit. I'm like, "Guys, do you wanna sit in the line?" They said yes. So I go around the block and I pull- I pull and I'm probably like the 15th car. So we're gonna sit here for 30 minutes.

Glen: No, no, no. In-N-Out, they got it down to a size

Charlie: They're trying to get you in and out.

Glen: They're trying to get you in and out.

Charlie: Fair enough. They're trying to get you in.

Glen: They're- they're pretty fast but go ahead. Sorry, yeah.

Rob: I would say you're definitely in for a little bit of a wait.

Glen: Absolutely.

Rob: Okay, and it-it did turn out to be about 30, almost 30, like 25 minutes, which I would never normally do but my kids were super excited.

Glen: Yeah. Yeah.

Rob: So we're waiting there, we're like four minutes into it. We're listening to, In the Height soundtrack, we're singing along, we're having a blast.

[laughter]

Rob: It's all fun.

Glen: Sure.

Rob: It's all-all good.

Glen: Yeah, and we're listening. We're listening to musicals, you know, as-as-as one does.

Rob: As The McElheny family does.

Glen: Sure.

Rob: We're listening to mu-musicals.

Glen: That's not, yeah, okay.

Rob: And the car-- So-so at one point we're in this line and a car, and I shit you not, you could not have scripted this better. It was a Rolls Royce.

Glen: Oh, man.

Rob: A fucking giant Rolls Royce.

Glen: Uh-huh.

Rob: And it-- This guy decides he's coming the opposite direction. So he just turns into the line, right?

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: Right at me, like trying to get in between me and the car that's in front of me.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: But I think, "Well, there's no way he's trying to get in the line," because now there's like 10 cars behind me.

Glen: Oh, oh, he-- Oh, wow.

Rob: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Glen: Right.

Rob: So-so and they wrapped around the block.

Charlie: Was he-- he was out of Grey Poupon and then there was an emergency.

[laughter]

Glen: That's a real thing. People in Royal [unintelligible 00:07:37] Voices, they fucking love that mustard.

Charlie: Hey, that Poupon.

Glen: So then I think this guy's probably just trying to do like a U-turn.

Charlie: He's trying to like turn around or--

Rob: Turn around and then continue down the-the street. But there's no way somebody could be this much of an asshole.

Charlie: It's not even on your radar, 'cause you're like--

Glen: Yeah, it's so outrageous. It would be so outrageous.

Rob: Yeah, yeah, so he- so so then I realize like, oh, he's not backing up to complete the-the-the three point turn. He's actually thinking he's gonna get in between us. Right.

Glen: Can-can I ask a-- Sorry, a detailed question.

Rob: Yes.

Glen: Did he use his blinker?

Rob: I was-- No, I doubt it. I doubt it. Because this kind of person is not using blinkers. He does not get fuck.

Glen: Well, this is the thing. Like I have a real pro-- Well, whatever. I-I just, if he had his blinker on, I'd be like, "All right," but no blinker. You don't get in. Well, you don't get in. I don't let anybody in who doesn't use their blinker.

Charlie: I-- By the way, I'm furious.

Glen: Okay. [crosstalk]

Charlie: I feel it in my body.

Glen: Yeah, yeah, okay.

Rob: It wasn't like- it wasn't like, "Oh, my God, I messed up. I'm so sorry. Or I'm in rush. Or can I," this guy just pulls a fucking Rolls Royce..

Glen: I deserve this.

Rob: Yeah, I deserve this.

Charlie: Okay, okay, all right.

Glen: Yeah, yeah.

Rob: So once I-- Then the on- the traffic starts piling up because he's blocking traffic.

Glen: Oh, my God. Wow, what a dick?

Rob: And then I go- and then I- and then-then I rolled down the window. I go, "Are you trying to turn around?" And he goes, "Back up, back up." And I said, "I'm sorry you talking to me." And he goes, "Hey, let me in." And I said, "What?" He goes, "Let me in."

Charlie: Oh, boy.

Rob: And I-I turned to Ax. Now, I have my children in the car.

Charlie: Yeah, that's tricky.

Glen: Ooh, that's tough.

Charlie: That's tricky.

Rob: And I took a deep breath and I rolled down the window and I said, "Motherfucker, you are not getting- you are not getting in front of me so I don't know what you're gonna do, but you better do it right now." And he looked at me and I looked at him and I looked back at my kids and I was like, "Oh, shit. He might get out of his car." And I have to-- I can't stay in the car, 'cause if I do, I don't know what this guy's gonna do. I don't know if he's gonna smash the window or whatever.

Glen: Well, you don't know. Yeah.

Rob: So I grab the key fob 'cause I'm like, if I get out, I gotta lock this door to lock them in.

Glen: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Because it's all happening so fast.

Charlie: Sure. Wow.

Glen: That's-that's- that's pretty- that's pretty quick thinking.

Rob: I also think if I have the key fob in my hand, and if I have to throw a punch, it won't break my hand out. It'll, you know, whatever, it'll make my hand stronger. Like this is all happening fast. So he-he-he-- I see him start to get out and I start to get out and then he stops and then I stop. And then all these college kids are like, "What the fuck is going on?" And then-then he finally, he pulls back in- pulls back in, and then he rolls up his window and he starts looking at his phone. And I was like-- And Axle was like, "What's going on?"

And I was like, "Uh, well I'm just handling something ho-hold on one second." And then I said-- And then he was-- but cars honking, honking, honking. The guy's not moving. So I said, "What-what are you gonna do? Nothing. The car finally pulls up in front of me. So I pull up and the guy gets in behind me- because behind us, I noticed, we're two young women, who were like, clearly like college-aged women who were like terrified of what was going on.

Glen: Right.

Rob: And we're like, "I'm not gonna get involved with this fucking lunatic." So they let him in. So now I'm looking in my rearview mirror, we're now in line together. And I keep looking up to see like, he's behind me. I'm like, "Is he gonna get out of the car?" But I'm like, "I'm not fucking getting outta this fucking line. We're getting our cheeseburgers now." Leo, I'm checking in with them thinking if they're scared, they're so psyched. They're like, "What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?"

[laughter]

Rob: I'm like, "I don't know." I'm like, "I don't know, but guess what motherfuckers, we're getting our cheeseburgers." And they were like, "Yeah," we're listening to In the Heights, okay?

Glen: That's the best part. This is like you-you're rolling the window down.

Rob: Yes.

Glen: It would've been better if you were listening to some like-like Oklahoma or something, you know what I mean?

Rob: Oh yeah.

Charlie: I'm a little confused on something. Sorry.

Rob: He keeps going.

Charlie: I need some clarity.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: So you're in the line, he tried to get in front of you-you called him out.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: And then he got behind you, but now you're all just like in the line together.

Rob: Correct. Correct. But--

Glen: God I wish when you rolled your window down, you were listening to like, Hello Dolly.

Rob: Yeah, I, you know that when it happens it all becomes like a blur.

Charlie: I need a little more information. Did you get a good look at-- Did he look like a Connor McGregor kind of-

Rob: Yeah, so that was what was- That-that's the scariest part to me is that I wasn't even paying attention to that.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: I didn't know if there was four guys in there or one. And then I was like, I took a deep breath and was like, "Thank God there's just like one." And I think he saw- he saw that I was ready to go and he- and-and then he wasn't. And I was like, "Thank God. And also thank God I don't know who this guy is."

Glen: Yeah, you--

Rob: Why-why is he driv-driving a Rolls Royce? He could be a gangster. He could have a gun. I don't know what the fuck is going on. But it turned out he's just a- he's just a bully pussy. So thank God. So now, now, he's behind me and I keep looking in my mirror. Not because I'm trying to antagonize him, but because I'm wondering like-

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: -if this guy gets out of his car, I'm gonna have to do something about it, right? And I don't-- But I'm not gonna leave. I'm not gonna leave 'cause I feel like that sends the wrong message to the kids.

Charlie: Right.

Rob: Now, of course, the right. But this is-- Let me finish the story and then I'll go back and ask a number of questions because I have- because I'm not sure that I handled this 100% correctly. But I figure, okay, now here we are. So I shit you not, we go to turn the corner because the line is literally going around the block. It's a blockbuster. The-the-the-the In and Out. And as I go to turn another car, a third party gets involved. Okay, now, this is two guys and they pull up and they try to jump-jump in. And I literally have to like-

Charlie: In front of you.

Rob: -in front of me again at the turn.

Charlie: Let me ask you another question here.

Rob: Yes. Are you leaving an awkward amount space between--

Rob: o, no, nope.[crosstalk]

Glen: Oh, you're jammed in. You're jammed in.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: But just so the listener home-

Rob: Sure.

Charlie: -because I'm using my hands this way. But you're saying there was, there was no like odd amount of space between your car and the car in front of you. For some reason, they think you're the car to jump in right off.

Rob: Um, it was because of the way--

Glen: You're in the spot.

Rob: -that we were positioned.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: Because of the way we were positioned.

Charlie: Oh, where you were on the corner.

Rob: Yes, I was making a right turn.-

Charlie: Got it.

Rob: -so there's only so much-- And then there's a walkway and there's college kids everywhere. So you gotta leave a little bit of a space.

Charlie: I got it.

Rob: It's not merge. I-- Do you know what I mean? Where if you're on a freeway and you gotta merge at the end, whatever you're keeping-

Charlie: L-l-let me-

Rob: This is people literally knowing they're jumping in front of you.

Charlie: Well, wait-wait, let me ask you. There's no way from where you're positioned that it could be accidental. Like they couldn't tell that you were in line.

Rob: There's absolutely no way.

Charlie: Okay, continue.

Rob: Okay, it's so 100% clear because In and Out is always, there's always like a line like this. Right?

Charlie: Just trying to get the big picture.

Glen: All great questions.

Rob: Also then also based on, on this person's response, these two guys so they pull up and then they like, literally they're jerking their car in towards me. And I'm like, "What the fuck?"

Glen: Did they see what had happened between you and the Rolls?

Rob: No.

Glen: Or this is don't know what-

Rob: No, this is like--

Glen: Oh, my God. Totally unrelated. Totally.

Rob: And then-then Axle was like, "What is going on?" And I was like, "I'll tell you what's going on." And I opened the door and got out. Now, I'm- now, I'm out of the car.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: And I pointed at the guy that was driving and I was like, "Turn this car around right now and get to the back of the line." And then he stopped, pulled up, drove around, and went to the back of the line. And then I pulled up and got in the car and Leo was like, "You're, um, you're very upset."

[laughter]

Rob: And I was like, "I am very upset,"

Glen: Good for him for like--

Rob: And he's like, is everything okay?" I'm like, "Everything is 100% fine," Now, meanwhile you- my adrenaline is through the roof, but I'm not gonna let-- I don't want them to feel like scared or whatever so I jack up In The Heights, 'cause now I'm like, "Fuck this." Like now-now-now-now I'm like, we got-

Glen: This is my favorite part, sorry.

Rob: -we gotta play- we gotta play this cool. So Piragua comes on and we're singing Piragua, piragua, Piragua. I don't fucking know.

Glen: I've never--

Rob: Now, I'm at a 10. My kids are having a blast. They're like, "Are you gonna get in a fight?" I'm like, "I don't know. I don't know."

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: I keep checking in with motherfucker behind me. He's not even looking up past his phone.

Glen: He's-he's moved past it.

Rob: Yes. And now there's like all these kids around watching like, "What's going on?" I hear some guy go, "Is that Mac?" And I was like, "Hey, what's going on?" They're like, "This is crazy."

Glen: Oh, right right.

Rob: I'm like, I know. Yeah, it's a bunch of college kids.

Glen: Oh, my God.

Rob: Like this is nuts. I'm like-

Glen: I wasn't even about that.

Rob: -I don't know what's going on. I just wanna get a hamburger guys. And then--

Glen: They're watching one of their favorite, uh, possibly one of their- I'm gonna say it's probably one of their favorite shows. One of their favorite, uh, characters on-on-on tv. Like almost getting a fight with like multiple people.

Rob: I'm 44 years old in a college town, but I was-

Charlie: Are you being filmed yet? Like this is the stuff that like the internet's made of.

Glen: Yeah.

Charlie: Like that, like to see you get your kicked on top of a Rolls Royce in front of a hamburger joint in front of your children.

Glen: A hamburger store yeah.

Charlie: Is like the kind of that goes viral forever.

Glen: Mac-Mac gets beat up in front of the hamburger store.

Rob: 100%. So this is all like, flashing through my head as-as fast as possible because I--

Charlie: So you gotta watch out for the humiliation factor.

Rob: The humiliation of being beaten up in front of your children.

Glen: Yeah, I know.

Rob: Let alone the world.

Charlie: I know. I know. You better win if you're gonna get out--

Glen: He's gonna win. He would've. I know you would.

Charlie: Continue. I know you would. i know you would've.

Rob: I was-- I-I-I think the guy saw that I was like, ready to- ready to go.

Charlie: You had justice on your side.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: Well, that's what I believe. That's what I thought.

Glen: It's a powerful ally.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: So then now I'm-- Now, we're in line and we're like ordering food and I'm just like, okay, I guess we're just gonna go through this very normal process, which is exactly what we did. We paid the people, we got our hamburgers and we went home. And then I-I sat them down as we were eating and I was like asking them questions. I'm like, "How did you feel?" Like was that like, "Are you scared or were you nervous?" And they were like, "That was awesome." Like that-that was the scariest part is like, they were like, that was super, um, fun because it was like exciting. And I don't think they were ever scared, but I-I don't know. I was like trying to figure out like, okay, this is a teaching moment, right? But I don't know what the teaching moment is-

Glen: Yeah, what's the lesson?

Rob: because I was like, Look, violence and aggression only leads to more violence and aggression, however, if you allow people to just step all over you.

Glen: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And like, literally, like if you're- the only thing analogous would be like-like if you were in New York City or if you were anywhere actually, and you were walking and you were standing in a line like it's Starbucks.

Glen: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And someone just literally came up and just stood there in front of you and then like pushed you behind. Now, yes, like you're- you- that would just never happen. Like no-nobody does that. No-nobody has that level of like bully in them or aggression in them. If they do, they're probably a lunatic, but for some reason, you have these cars and there's like a-a degree of separation. But I did notice that those guys, once they saw that there was a man on the other end of it and a man who was seemingly like insane, like ready to go and fucking beat them senseless, they stopped, and then they got behind and then they cut off the women that were behind us.

Glen: Right.

Rob: So like it was like to-to watch bullies go in and try to bully. Then when you stand up to the bully, then they go and bully somebody else. Like there's no- they're not gonna learn a lesson.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: Maybe they think twice before they do it again. I-I don't know. But I don't know. I don't know if I did the right thing. I don't know what the right thing in the- in that moment is not putting my kids at dangerous number one and I did that. I tru- I truly did that.

Charlie: That's a tough one. Yeah, I mean-

Glen: Yeah.

Charlie: -I suppose there's a step between like screaming, cussing at the guy. Like I suppose there's a step where you get outta the car and you say, "Excuse me, I'm sorry, we're in line. Please go back to the back of the line." But if they're unresponsive to that, then you have to take it to the next level. I don't know. Seems like the Roll-Royce guy was kind of there. By the way, I don't think I would've been able to let go of the guy getting in behind me.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: I like--

Glen: I would've struggled with that too. I would've been thinking like, do I get out of the car and tell him to get out of this line? Because he cut in front of other people. It's not about me. It's about cutting in front of any of us.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Yeah, I think that I would've hard time with that.

Rob: Yeah, he bullied the- he bullied the people behind us. Now, meanwhile, what I'm- what I'm guessing, and this is where I want to check in with Meg, because dudes have to navigate this all the time with other dudes, but I haven't in a long time, like, not since I was like younger.

Glen: Mm-hmm.

Rob: But women have had to navigate this for oh, millennia dealing with men, like finding themselves in these situations. And I'm sure that these women were like, "You know what? Fine, who cares fucking get in line. It's goddamn In and Out Burger. Who cares?" Like, "Are you?" But the only thing that I extrapolate from that decision-making process for that guy is that he does a version of that all day long.

Glen: Well, sometimes-sometimes-

Glen: That's-that's why he was able to calm down and just go straight back to his phone. He's-he's-he bullies all throughout the day and sometimes he gets away with it and other times he doesn't. Doesn't phase him either way. Now, he's so used to it, it's just normal behavior for him. So he just like- he was like, "Ah, this guy's not gonna let me do it, so fuck it. I'm just getting on my phone. I'll pull in front of these girls."

Rob: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It, it was- it was like- it was psychotic almost.

Glen: It is psychotic.

Rob: Like I'm gonna not care about people so much that I'll block traffic-

Glen: Yeah, mm-hmm.

Rob: -with my Rolls Royce to get in because people have let me do this for, and then--

Charlie: I-I physically feel--

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Feel something right now.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: Like, like in my- in my body, I can feel fury and-and rage kind of boiling up in there. It's in there. I'm like--

Rob: Oddly enough-

Charlie: Just hearing this story.

Rob: -we-we went to the batting cages a few weeks ago and I realized I- as we were stopping and starting, I realized I had two aluminum bats in the trunk of the car 'cause they kept clinking. And I was like, there was a point in which we were- it was already past the-the-the event and I kept hearing them clink. And the more I heard them clink the more I was like, you know, if things go south, I know I have those bats back there. I'm gonna fucking destroy this guy's car and maybe destroy him.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: And I'm-- I truly believe I would've done it. That's cr-crazy.

Charlie: Well, you wouldn't hav, right? Because you didn't. right?

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: So-so you do have a stop. Like, I think we all have those thoughts in those situations where you're like, "I'm gonna go bezerk, you know, know, pull, uh, Jack Nicholson, pull out the golf club outta your car and-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: -smash the guy's windows in. Um, but you had something that stopped it 'cause you didn't do it.

Rob: My ch- my children in the car, that's a big one.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: But like, if you were sitting next to me or you were sitting next to me, I think we-- I would've- we would've gotten into a fistfight

Charlie: Maybe.

Rob: Or-or he we-- He would've, he-he got-- We were ready to-- I was still ready to go and he-he-he did not get out, which thank God he didn't 'cause I don't know what would happen.

Glen: Well, that's the thing like he--

Charlie: Yeah, he might have had a little gold-plated pistol, you know?

Glen: That's what I'm saying.

Rob: 100%.

Charlie: Like a little Marvel handle and it gets you right in-into thorax and there you go. He-- You're-you're done.

Rob: He might've been a MMA fighter. I have no idea.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glen: That's right.

Charlie: I know. Yeah. That's the thing.

Glen: That's- that's the always the thing that I think of these days whenever I get into a situation like that is I'm just like, it's not worth it.

Charlie: No.

Glen: It's not worth it. I-- And-and the-the lesson that I'm teaching my kids, I-I-I-- Look, I mean, if you're asking what is the right thing to do, um, I-I-I mean I, you know, not that I'm any authority on this, but I think the right thing to do in that situation is to just let them in.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glen: And I'll tell you why. Because it's not worth putting yourself and your kids in danger-

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glen: -to teach them the lesson of you shouldn't allow someone to push you around. You know what I mean? Because like, if somebody's- if somebody, uh, uh, holds you at gunpoint and says, "Gimme your money," you don't go, "No, because I would be teaching you the wrong lesson."

Rob: Yeah.

Glen: You give them the money because you don't wanna get shot. Um--

Rob: Yeah.

Glen: Now, that being said, I think I would've done the exact same thing you did because I have rage inside me.

Rob: Yeah. Yeah.

Glen: And I don't know why. But things that are unjust and things that are unfair. I mean, this is the whole, this is- this is why it ties into the whole parking thing, right?

Charlie: Yeah.

Glen: Because it's the whole like, you know, walking-- By the way, this is what ties into the whole show. This is what the whole-- Our whole show is, for me, is lampooning the type of behavior that comes from people who think that they deserve better than everybody else in the world.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glen: You know what I mean? And that they-they should just be able to get whatever they want and do whatever they want regardless of the consequences that it has on other people. Uh, that's-that-that-that's something that is so infuriating to me.

Rob: Yeah.

Glen: That it- this is what I channel into the show.

Charlie: I-I do believe in and in some sort of karma, right? Like if you let that-

Glen: Right.

Charlie: -that guy in, he gets his hamburger first pulls out and gets T-boned right, the second he--

[laughter]

Charlie: Like, you know, like-like I do think there is- there's some truth to that. Sometimes in the world. I'll-I'll-I'll give you an example. Almost the same exact scenario. I was in high school, I went to this really, uh, fancy private high school. Uh, I commuted there, you know, 'cause it was in my town. Uh, but lots of kids lived there and boarded there and they were super rich kids and I was not a rich kid. And it was a very different sort of thing.

Glen: Were you, was your par- were your parents the music teachers there or how--

Charlie: No-no. I-I just did an interview. My-my parents said, "You know, there's really good school really close to us and you should just go to the interview process and maybe get financial aid and you can go."

Glen: Oh.

Charlie: And I convinced them that I was intelligent and-and I had the capacity to learn, which was not the-the case.

Glen: Nice, how'd you do that?

Charlie: Uh, I'm good. I'm a good- I'm an actor.

Rob: He's charismatic. Great actor.

Charlie: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, but dumb as bricks. Um, but, uh, so-so I'm in line, uh, in the food line and there's- there's this kid, and I'm gonna call- I'm gonna call his name out, right? Can't get sued here. The kid's name was Paul [bleep] and he was probably a senior, and I was maybe a sophomore or something. And he was twice my size. And, um, and he was a cool kid, and I think he wanted to be an actor. He was like the actor guy. And he like cut in front of, uh, um, me and a couple of other guys, and just like blatantly cutting the line and, you know, same sort of thing. My like, teenage fury was like, "Hey man, you can't do that." Um, you know, and just like get, go in the back of the line. So he comes, he gets right in my face.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Charlie: And he was like, "What are you gonna do? Make a move? Throw the first punch." He's like, "You knock me out, I won't punch." Uh, and I'm like, this school had a really strict fighting policy.

Glen: Yeah.

Charlie: I was like, "I can't get expelled. You know, I'm like, "Parents have put everything for you to be here." Like, this fucking rich kid probably bounced from school to school, to school, to school. And so I-I didn't do anything, I backed down. Right. He wasn't, gets his food. Uh, then throughout the rest of the year before he graduates, he's-he constantly calling me out, trying to bully me, trying to pick fi- lure me into a fight and I never fucking do it. Well, I know- I know this about the kid. He really wanted to be an actor. Well, guess who's a motherfucking actor now? You know what I mean? So-so fuck you, Paul [bleep]

Glen: Did you look him up on Instagram? Just see, like, where is he at?

Charlie: I did. I did. He didn't do shit.

[laughter]

Charlie: So-so you know what, sometimes what goes around comes around just saying, there's a- there's like--

Glen: Well, it's also like that guy- that guy, right? Rolls Royce guy. He's miserable. Because only a miserable person would do something like that.

Charlie: I did-

Glen: You know what I mean?

Charlie: -I did think that for years to the point where I was like, I shouldn't even- I even feel bad calling him out right now. But like being like-

Glen: Ah, fuck that.

Charlie: -kid's probably had shitty parents at home. Send him away to this fucking boarding school.

Glen: Right. Well, that's true. That's true. Right.

Charlie: But--

Glen: You don't know what hit--

Charlie: No.

Glen: You don't know what led to that in him. That is a good point.

Charlie: I know.

Glen: That is a good point.

Charlie: But sometimes some people maybe are just monsters, you know, like, uh--

Glen: Well, there's- there's-there's true sociopaths, but I think most of the time that behavior comes from being mistreated themselves.

Charlie: Of course.

Glen: And you can look at it that way. So like, I do think, I mean, I really do think that the right thing to do is to go, you know what, this guy is-is miserable.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glen: And he's angry and he thinks he deserves everything. And walking around the world feeling entitled to whatever you want in any given moment is actually kind of a-a burden.

Charlie: Mm-hmm.

Glen: It's difficult. Um, and it makes people into bullies. And--

Charlie: He's the kind of guy that thinks he's gotta drive a Rolls Royce so that people like--

Glen: Right. Yeah.

Rob: Well, I think, yes, the fact that-

Charlie: I mean, who wants a Rolls Royce? First of all, that's the biggest ugliest, clunkiest, stupidest car.

Glen: Nobody.

Charlie: Maybe if someone drives you when you Rolls Royce if you sit in the back, you--

Glen: It's a butler's car.

Charlie: Yeah.

Glen: We saw one the other day.

Charlie: It's a butler's car.

Glen: We saw one the other day, and-and it was- it was actually really nice. And Joel was like, "That's really, you know, it's nice, but like I, it looks like a- it's like a butler's car," you know what I mean?

Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

Glen: Like, you don't drive one of those yourself. You have a guy drive you and even- and then-then that's-

Charlie: Dude, maybe he was a butler. And he gets yelled at all day by the guy. He drives around and he is like, "God, damn it. I'm just," and the guy's like, "If you don't get me by three o'clock," you know what I mean? He's like, I gotta fucking just cutting in this line. He's like, "Oh, this guy's furious at me. All right. I'll get behind him and then--

Glen: Was he wearing a top hat and tails?

[laughter]

Rob: I was- I was open to that. I was literally like, "What- what's going on? What are you- what are you doing?" And if he was like, "I'm so sorry, man, I'm late and I just- I gotta eat and then I gotta go pick up my boss." I'd have been like, "Oh, okay, this is- yeah, no, no problem."

Glen: Right, Right.

Rob: He was like, "Let me in." I-I-I-I just- I went to a- I picked up the key fob and opened the door. Like I was like, "That's not gonna happen." And--

Glen: I would- I'd do that, yeah.

Rob: How often, like where you think, "Oh, no, what I'm doing is keeping everybody safe." In my mind, even though I knew I wasn't, but I'm at 10 and I'm like, "No, no, I'm keeping my kids safe 'cause I'm teaching them a lesson. I'm keeping the whole- this whole area safe. No, I'm not. I'm escalating something into potential violence."

Glen: That's right.

Rob: Right. As opposed to just going to your point. Yeah, go ahead. Go, go, go ahead and go in. The fact that it happened again, which is even crazier-

Glen: Is wild.

Rob: -is like, oh, this is a thing that happens here every day. Right. People stand in line, sit in, or they-they drive around line and then other dudes, there's fucking no way a woman has ever done this. Just like cut in and been like, "No, I'm going."

Glen: I-I don't know that-that's true.

Charlie: I don't know about that. Yeah, yeah.

Glen: I bet- I bet you that's not true.

Charlie: I mean, we're all capable.

Meg: What if it was a woman would you--

Rob: What's that?

Meg: If it was a woman in the Rolls

Rob: I would've had- I would've had a similar response. It just wouldn't have been physically violent.

Glen: Yes. That same. Yeah, exactly. Right. You would've gotten out of your car and said get back in--

Rob: Unless she said, "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Can I just get in here? I need to go do something." It was more like--

Glen: I'm stuck- I'm stuck I can't--

Rob: If her attitude was like, "Let me in dick head," which is what he was saying, I'd have been like, "No, cunt."

Glen: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah, for sure. For sure.

Rob: Which is totally appropriate, right? Yeah. I mean I, you know. And then- and then later on--

Charlie: I told an 80-year-old woman to go fuck herself once.

Rob: Yeah, and sometimes they- they need to. Everybody needs to go fuck themselves from time to time.

[laughter]

Glen: I-I-I did that.

Charlie: And her daughter was shocked.

Rob: Yeah. Well, Axel and Leo have basically spent the night and the day saying, Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself 'cause I- that's what I said to second to the second guy.

Charlie: Oh boy. Oh boy. Yeah, all right, well.

Rob: Whatever, oddly enough, earlier in the day, now this is not what I'm thinking about while this is happening, but earlier in the day, I have one son who struggles with giving up power and control, he needs to like, have control and power. My other son struggles with him giving too much of his own power away.

Glen: Mm.

Rob: And it manifested in a very silly way, but like the one kid always needs the remote control, like always. And he gets to dictate what they want, what-what they watch.

Glen: I know that kid.

Rob: And I'm like, "We can both--" Yeah, of course, everybody with kids does. And like, this is great. The other kids gotta have the remote control now because you have to practice, first kid, you have to practice giving up power and you have to practice taking power in difficult situations. So it was kind of like manifesting itself in real time where I was like, "Oh wow." Um, you-youngest son, you have to see that like, you can't let people walk all over you and just because otherwise, they'll just keep cutting in line. But to what point do, am I saying to-to your point Glen, earlier, like, am I saying actually you should do that at all costs, right?

Glen: Right.

Rob: That's dangerous. Like you giving up your power isn't like letting somebody in line in front of you. Imagine the news story, like you said, Charlie.

Glen: Mm-hmm.

Rob: Like, I-I have so much to lose right now. My life could not be any better. And-and it could've-- [crosstalk]

Charlie: It's also not your job to police the world.

Rob: 100%. 100%.

Charlie: You know what I mean? [crosstalk] Although it affects you more directly that they're trying to cut in front of you. Now, if you'd saw it three cars ahead, you probably also would've been irritated by it, but slightly less irritated by it. You know, if you saw it four cars behind but--

Rob: It depends on who I was with. Like, [crosstalk] if I was with my kids, I would've let it go. If I was with like a friend or if I was alone, I think I still would've gotten out and said something. I think it'd be specifically because of who they were cutting off, who they wound up getting in front of.

Charlie: Sometimes you don't have control over it. Like your lizard brain takes over and your testosterone goes-

Rob: That's where I was, yeah.

Charlie: -through the roof. And then you're like, I'm- I'm also, I'm equally outta control here.

Rob: That's where I was all the way even through the entire process because I'm now the guy's behind me and I don't know if he's getting out. I don't know who he's texting by the way. At one point I was like, "Maybe he's texting somebody."

Glen: Right. To come meet him there. Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah. And like we have access to the trunk and there was a part of me that wanted to be like, "Hey kids grab the bats now, just in case." But I don't wanna freak them out.

Glen: Yeah.

Charlie: But I now I'm thinking like, "Oh, I can get to the bats." 'cause I'm stuck now between the car in front of me and the car in the back of me. If this guy's texting his friends to come over here, okay, let's-- We gotta be ready to rock. So I'm like, "I gotta get to the baseball bats?" [crosstalk] I'm a 44-year-old actor. I should not be in situations where I'm like considering getting a baseball bat to fight a guy in a Rolls Royce in an In And Out burger at Westwood, California. It's crazy.

Glen: What would you do? Would you do double bats? Like a bat in each hand or what? Like what would be-- [crosstalk]

Charlie: Probably not my bat style. No, I don't think I would go.

Glen: One bat, right?

[crossstalk]

Charlie: Double bats you just don't have the strength and speed that you have with a single bat. Double bats is just like-

Glen: Unless you're trained in it.

Charlie: -the guy comes out and you double bat-- Well, if you're trained in double bats, that's pretty cool.

Glen: That's what I'm saying, yeah, like if you're- if you've got trained [crosstalk]--

Charlie: You start spinning them around and you're doing some--

Glen: I don't have my swords, but I do have these two bats. You know what I mean? Like then maybe. Yeah, but I-I think if you're not trained in it, you wanna get both hands on it.

Rob: I think I go single bat and then I hand the other one to the- to axle and I'm like, "I don't know where this is headed, man-

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: -but you got a bat,"

Glen: We're gonna go bat to bat, me and you.

Charlie: Definitely.

[crosstalk]

Rob: Axle, you know what I mean? You just- you and Axle back to back, right? Just fighting.

[laughter]

Charlie: But tell you what I think- I think to your question, if you had grabbed a bat and gone berserk, and started smashing the guy's headlights in or whatever it is, even if nothing happened, it would-- It probably would've stayed in your children's memory-

Glen: Mm-hmm. That's right.

Charlie: -and-and it probably would've created pathways towards violence for them that made it more accessible. I don't know I'm guessing, I'm guessing--

Rob: I agree. But that-that would not-- That would've been an act of offense, not an act of defense. What I was saying was- I was suggesting was like, it would be an act of defense, but it's literally like metaphorically and physically like caveman holding clubs. Is like what I got to, I was like, "I'm gonna hold a club, like a fucking like a caveman."

Charlie: Give me my hamburger.

[laughter]

Rob: To get my hamburger before you get your hamburger.

Charlie: Give my hamburger.

[laughter]

Charlie: You don't get hamburger, I get hamburger. I get hamburger and that, you know, come on, caveman talk.

Rob: Yeah, and like, I was like, "I'm gonna be up all night," because I- I'm like the worst dad ever. And as I'm like reading to my kids and say- telling them goodnight, they're like, "That was awesome." And I'm like, "Okay, great. Like go to bed." And then I was like, "I'm not gonna be able to sleep." And then I slept like a fucking baby.

Glen: Really?

Rob: Yeah.

Glen: You thought your adrenaline was just gonna keep you up? You're gonna be thinking about it.

[crosstalk]

Charlie: It kept replaying it in your head the way you know.

Rob: Yes. Yeah, like I was putting my children in danger, right? But then, I don't know, I think my adrenaline just dumped and I just felt--

Glen: So-so you went through that last night.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glen: And then you came to work this morning and you thought, you know, it would be a funny joke.

Rob: Yeah.

[laughter]

Glen: I'm gonna take up two parking spots.

[crosstalk]

Charlie: Yeah, but that's a- that's a joke, man. Come on.

Rob: It fe- it fed into the story-

Charlie: It's a joke.

Rob: -which is the injustice of it all.

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: Like if somebody actually parked that way.

Charlie: If somebody actually parked that way, we'd all be very upset if someone was just like--

Rob: Of course.

Glen: Yeah, this is Rob's sense of humor though, right? I mean, you know, one of your favorite jokes is, you know, somebody texts like I'll text you something very sincere, you know, where I'm like, "Hey man, I really appreciate, uh, you know, you helping out on set." Yes. Or whatever. Like, you know, like a very sincere, heartfelt text. And Rob will text back, "Fuck you."

[laughter]

Rob: Um, Yeah, well--

Glen: Like and that-that's your sense of humor.

Rob: Well, that's something we've had been- we've had going on for you know it's 10 years.

Charlie: Yeah, I forget how that started. But yeah.

Glen: It's-it's a great joke. It's a great joke because it hurts a little bit. Yeah. It hurts a little bit. And you know, that was-- I have to say like, when- when you and I first met-- Um, because that's always been your- your sense of humor, and I've always had a strange sense of humor and I think it was in there to- to sort of have that kind of thing. But you- you would make jokes and do shit like that when you and I first met to the point where I was like, "I don't know if I like this guy."

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glen: I like, 'cause I-I was like-- I wasn't quite sure, I was pretty sure that it was a- I knew it was a joke. I knew it was a joke, but I was like, "How deep is this darkness"? Is this like a- is this like a darkness, you know what I mean, that-that's there and he's learned how to channel it. Or is this like a dark guy who gonna bring me down?

Charlie: I don't know if this is a northeast thing, but I find you and your buddies and like that sense of humor to me is very familiar from New England.

Rob: I find it comforting.

Charlie: Yeah, whereas when I started dating Mary Elizabeth and she grew up in the south and then was in Texas and then out here, um, that she wa-was less open to- to like--

Rob: Yeah, we don't do that shit in the south.

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: Like we don't make jokes like that in the south.

Charlie: Like ribbing or-or like, you know, which-- And then I kind of, I sort of grew out of it in a way where I was like, "Oh, yeah, I guess it probably is better not to like insult someone or-or through humor or whatever." But I don't know. Yeah, it's a different thing.

Rob: Again, it's knowing your audience and depending on who it is that-

Charlie: Knowing your audience

Rob: -you're talking about and recognizing like, "Oh, they-they don't take this the way that I'm intending it and that-that's not their responsibility. That's my responsibility to make sure that I'm-- But I-I think it's-- I hope that it's tempered. Like those kinds of jokes are also tempered by and maybe this is why we- we became friends. Like I-- It's not that I'm deflecting like actual emotion. Like we have very-

Glen: Yeah.

Rob: -we have very involved emotional-emotionally complex conversations and al-always have.

Glen: Yes.

Rob: And then every once in a while we think like, "Oh, well that's our rapport." And then we'll text something about like, "Hey Charlie, you did a great job yesterday." Like I really miss like, shooting with you and you're like one of the funniest people on planet Earth. And then he'll respond with, "Fuck you."

[laughter]

Charlie: It's just fun.

Glen: Yeah.

Glen: It stings but- but I mean, it- [crosstalk] it stings just a little bit because you just said something like truly, so you were like, "You know what, I'm feeling something and I'm gonna express this to my friend." And then your friend just texts back "fuck you."

Charlie: Yes. [crosstalk] It always stings a little. Yeah. [crosstalk]-

Glen: It stings a little. That's what makes it funny. [crosstalk] It stings in a good way.

Glen: It does.

Charlie: Uh, I-I feel bad as we-- Several times you said, I really want to get Megan's take on this and we've not. And I know--

Rob: 'Cause she doesn't wanna s-she doesn't wanna speak.

Charlie: I know you're avoiding the- the mic, but I would appreciate if we just got your two cents on it.

Rob: Yes.

Charlie: If it's- if it's--

Rob: Because we can always do like a Charlie Brown thing on your voice so that we can't read.

[background noise]

Rob: Yeah, but I'd like to hear from your point of view because it-- I really did feel like two men, a bunch of men, like all men causing abject chaos, and it- and I was like, "Oh, God, this is, I wanna feel- I wanna hear a female point of view." Do you mind?

Glen: Uh, you wanna hop on one of these mics real quick?

Rob: Yeah. I'll pass you over to them

Glen: Okay. You're gonna-- All right.

Megan: Um, I mean, I don't know what you want my take to be. I [crosstalk]-

Rob: This is unprecedented by the way. This is unprecedented. We're gonna let a woman speak?

Charlie: [crossstalk] to speak on this thing. I'll move over close to Rob so we can share his mic.

Megan: I would probably just let the person in as Glen said, I would be about it, but I would be like, I'm not gonna get enforce this [crosstalk] if he doesn't listen.

Charlie: What if it was- what if it was another woman?

Megan: If it was another woman, I would probably roll down my window and be like, "Hey, there's a line." And if she was like, "Fuck you, let me in." I'd be like-- I-I'd probably just let it happen. 'Cause like, I don't know. I'm not gonna fight that woman, right?

Glen: Mm-hmm.

Megan: And like also my-- I don't start thinking about protecting everyone in the line 'cause protecting them from what? Like, that seems like a big leap for you to jump to. Um--

Glen: What about the option of like, literally just like, just keeping pull, like pulling so far, it could--

Megan: Yeah.

Glen: That's what I would do. I would pull so close to the person in front of me that there was no way they could ever get in.

Megan: Yeah, I [crosstalk]--

Glen: And just- and just keep that distance between me and the car in front of me, you know, and be like, "You wanna hit my car? Fucking hit it. Let's do it."

Charlie: I feel like I-I- would wanna demand-

Glen: I got money, let's fucking do that shit.

[crosstalk conversation]

Charlie: -an explanation. I'd want that explanation, I'd be like, "What are you doing man"? He's like, "I wanna get in." Like it was a line, you know? And then I'd be like, why do you think this is okay?

Glenn: Yeah. Right, right, right. Ask for an explanation.

Charlie: Explain yourself.

Megan: I would not have the emotional response that you did to that situation. I'd be like annoyed 'cause I hate people that don't follow the rules, but no, I wouldn't have ever gotten out. But I don't think you're like a bad person for having done that. I mean, you didn't- you didn't actually hit the guy so.

Rob: I don't know. There's something about knowing that that guy walks around.

Charlie: The Rolls Royce makes it worse.

Rob: The Rolls Royce makes it worse.

Charlie: It makes it worse.

Rob: And then the fact that there were two guys later in whatever car they were driving now there was two of them and the fact that they were- they also backed down. Right. And I was like, these guys are such fucking, they're just bullies. They're just bullies. And sometimes I don't know, like I don't know what you do with a-- How do I teach my kid that you should walk- you should always walk away from bullies? Sometimes you shouldn't.

Charlie: Yeah. Sometimes you should call the bully out.

Rob: Yeah, and sometimes you might take an act- like take a beating and that sucks. But the truth is that like the bully is not gonna come back after you again. They're just not.

Glenn: Sure he will. If he beat you up. Yeah. He'd just be like, I can beat this guy up. Hey, I got this guy. [chuckles]

Rob: That was never my experience. I mean like 'cause-'cause because the bully wants to go after the person that they know, they is not gonna give them least amount of trouble.

Glenn: Right, right.

Rob: You know what I mean? So it's like, oh, I gotta beat this guy up again. You know what I mean? Like at a certain point I look sad.

Glenn: Yeah. I mean, I don't know, like I think you introduced me to Eckhart Tolle.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: And, um, you know, I-I think about that and-and like, I feel like- I do feel like though, the proper response is, it's not my job to police the world.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: Some people are just miserable.

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: And if this guy really needs to get in front of me, then, you know, if he really needs to cut the line then, you know, it's like, uh, uh, I'm not gonna teach him a lesson.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: He's not gonna learn anything today. If anything, he's gonna become more entrenched-

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: -in-in-in his feelings and thoughts. And, um, I would be putting myself and my kids in danger. Now again, this is, you know, this is- this is coming from somebody who again, I think I probably would've done, the exact same thing that you did. Like I truly, but I'm analyzing it. And I'm like, it's not-- I don't think it- I really don't think it's the right thing to do. And I think you sit your kids down and you go, 'cause I've always told my kids. I'm like, "The only time you should ever get in a fight is if you can't run."

Rob: Mm-hmm.

Glenn: If you can't run. And the reason is because-

Rob: Sure.

Glenn: -you know, whatever lesson you think you might be teaching that other person by getting in a physical altercation with them it's not-- First of all you're not gonna teach them anything. And secondly, uh, you might end up in the hospital. You could end up with a permanent, you know, permanent injury of some kind, you know. People-people get in fist fights and it's like, sometimes it's-it's, you know, you got a couple of bruises and cuts and it's no big deal. Other times you get punched in the eye and you lose vision in that eye.

Charlie: Or you kill somebody.

Glenn: Or you kill somebody or you hit somebody so hard, they hit their head on the concrete, and that person fucking dies. It's not worth it.

Rob: Of course not. And it's always in reflection that you can kind of come to terms with that. It's like when in the heat of the moment and people I think oftentimes don't realize like how quickly those things happen and how you're making decisions based on instinct.

Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Rob: And it's like within 35 seconds as it was- it was over.

Charlie: But you probably can condition your instincts, right? Whereas you've had a, you know, you've had a childhood and adolescents, whatever, where you created some pathways for that- this is how you resolve some of these issues, right?

Glenn: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Charlie: So you've learned that sometimes that works right. Sometimes physical conflicts-- I don't wanna say they give you what you want, but sometimes that's a way through something. Some other kid, you know, uh, obviously that's never been the option for them. So they didn't create those pathways towards like, okay, this is a place my brain will go. My brain will always go towards, make sure I don't get hurt first or whatever.

Rob: I definitely have the luxury of having zero violence in my household. Like my fa-- I never got hit. I never got spanked. I never got any of that. So like, I don't think I have a propensity for-for violence. Meaning like, like you said, where Jack Nicholson got outta the car and just actually took the-the golf club and smashed the guy's windows. I didn't take it that far, right?

Charlie: Yeah.

Rob: And that makes me feel a good meaning. Like my instincts aren't taking me there.

Glenn: You never got the spoon? The wooden spoon.

Rob: No.

Glenn: Or the belt?

Rob: We never got any of that.

Charlie: You got a spoon and a belt?

Glenn: No, I never got a belt. No, no, no, no. Mom got me with the wooden spoon a couple of times, but I think she felt so bad about it. That was maybe like three or four times. And then I think she is just like--

Charlie: Where'd she get you on the hand on the ass or?

Glenn: No, on the butt. On the booty. It was a wood. I remember she had a wooden spoon that had holes in it. It's like, I guess so you could, you know, yeah.

Rob: Get the air. You could get- you get airflow. So it actually moves faster.

Glenn: Yeah, I'm not sure why, is that why she picked that spoon you think? Or she wanted to turn my ass into Swiss cheese.

Rob: Yeah.

[laughter]

Glenn: I don't know. But she got me with a wooden spoon a couple times. I think she felt fucking really bad about it and never did it again though.

Charlie: Yeah. That's another form. It's a form of violence. That kind of shit.

Glen: Yeah, yeah, but--

Charlie: I mean, I know a lot of people spanked their kids and it's fucked up.

Glenn: Still? Do p-- Well, I know some people--

Glenn: Yeah, still. Still. Yeah, yeah, it's not--

Rob: That's a whole- that's a whole other podcast.

Charlie: That's a whole other thing.

Rob: Yeah, but I think I'm lucky that I never had that in my life. And so maybe that's the difference and I'm sure that I'll bet you that guy in the Rolls Royce and the other two, is just a piece of shit. His parents are pieces of shit. And so he's a piece of shit.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: And I wish I could stay out of his life.

Charlie: Maybe they're not. Maybe they're not too. That's the other thing. Sometimes they're not at all.

Glenn: They're not at all what?

Charlie: Pieces of shit. Like there are plenty of kids who.

Rob: And he's just a bad egg.

Charlie: Yeah, are bad eggs. Great parents.

Glenn: Right, right.

Charlie: That happens too.

Rob: Oh, man.

Charlie: I know.

Glenn: Anyway that's crazy, man.

Rob: Crazy.

Glenn: That's crazy.

Rob: And I have to have a follow-up conversation.

Glenn: You should. Yeah.

Rob: Today.

Glenn: Yeah.

Rob: You know?

Charlie: Yeah, for sure. I think you gotta stay on that one and-

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: -make sure it gets processed the correct way.

Rob: Yeah, and if you're out there Rolls-Royce guy, uh, you know, you're listening. Maybe you're fan of Sunny. I don't know. Maybe that's why you decided to check out 'cause you were like, "Oh, I don't wanna--"

Glenn: I don't wanna beat this guy up. He makes me laugh.

Rob: Yeah.

Charlie: Yeah, I'll let him live. Maybe you're like, I killed too many people already today. I'll let this guy.

Glenn: I'm gonna let him live.

Rob: It crossed my mind.

Glenn: I killed a man for this Rolls Royce. [laughs]

Rob: Maybe this guy actually has more discipline than I do. Maybe he's like a hired- like maybe he is someone's driver and he's like a- like a killer. I don't-don't know.

Charlie: You never know. You never know.

Rob: You never know.

Charlie: You never know.

Rob: But I'm not thinking that in the moment. I'm at a 10.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Anyway.

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't think we're gonna get to this episode. That's okay. I think this is just a- I think this is just a side episode of the podcast where we, you know.

Charlie: Yeah sometimes you just gotta talk about other things.

Glenn: Yeah.

Charlie: Which is fine.

Rob: All right. I'll let you know how the conversation goes with the kids, offline. Maybe that's just good for one episode I think.

Glenn: I don't know. Maybe we could do- we could do a follow-up next time-

Rob: Okay.

Glenn: -just to see. Who knows, but is there something funny that somebody wants to say to entertain? Or are we just gonna talk at these people?

Charlie: Well, I mean- I mean there was lot of fun in here.

Rob: I'd say a 44-year-old man getting almost into a fistfight in an In and Out parking lot-

Glenn: That's kinda funny.

Rob: -for the sake of who gets the hamburgers first is pretty funny. [laughs]

Glenn: Yeah, yeah. Definitely the thought of Mac-

Rob: It's sad.

Charlie: That's pretty--

Glen: Definitely the thought of Mac getting beat up in front of a hamburger store-

Charlie: In front of his kid.

Glenn: -is-is very funny in front of his children. Yeah.

Charlie: It could have happened. It could have very easily happened.

Glenn: It's just funny when I was younger like I didn't think about the consequences of getting in a fight. Like I would get, I never got, I didn't get in that many fights. I got in a few fist fights and nothing really ever that bad happened as a result. But, uh, you know, now, I think about it, I'm like, eh, I don't break my hand or like, you know what I mean? I'm gonna fucking tweak my back. I'm gonna throw my back out. It's just not worth it. You know what I mean? I'm like or this guy's a psycho, he knows MMA and-and, you know, I just think- I just think I can sort of like, usually I think I can psycho eyes my way out of most of those sit-- Like that has me out of most physical altercations.

Charlie: Psycho eyes?

Glenn: No, really. I mean like, 'cause I do I get so furious. I get so enraged that the impression I give is that I will fucking kill you. I will fucking kill you.

Rob: I've felt that.

Glenn: For me.

Rob: Yeah, well, I mean in a comedic sense.

Glenn: Yeah. Yeah, it's so funny.

Charlie: I think we all have that fire inside. Like, you know, I think I could go pretty psychotic if I had to.

Glenn: Yeah, oh definitely. Yeah, no you got it in you.

Charlie: I'm dangerous.

Glenn: Dangerous, man. Charlie Dave's is a dangerous man.

Charlie: Yeah I was just crazy.

Rob: Charlie Dangerous.

Glenn: He's got a banana on his shirt but that's all right. That's all right.

Rob: Well God bless you guys. Thank you for hearing me out.

Glenn: Hey Rob.

Rob: Yeah.

Glenn: Fuck you.

Charlie: Yeah, Hey Rob. Really, in all seriousness. No, but in all seriousness, when you're talking about your kid-- No, I'm just kidding, fuck you.

[laughter]

[music]

[00:48:51] [END OF AUDIO]